Village-Mystic: Thanks! I always had problems with lay and lie (hope I manage to continue correctly). And a word to the accent: I've never seen the original English episodes but only the synchronized ones instead; so I relied on other sources – apparently they are incorrect :-(
Joslin: If I was a watcher scientist, I would be very interested to have my own 'tame' Immortal to ask first hand; so I wouldn't tell Joe ;-)
Next day, Joe's Bar
Duncan MacLeod smiled happily as he opened the door to Joe's bar. The last months with Connor had been absolutely great; he felt so completely relaxed now as he had not during the last 10 years.
Letting his smile widen as he noticed the woman in the bar starring at him, he made his way to Joe, who was standing behind the bar and speaking to a customer. The moment Joe looked up and discerned him, Duncan's smile froze. Joe looked as if altered rapidly during the last weeks: his face showed an unhealthy grey colour and his eyes looked dull; is whole appearance screamed that something was terrible wrong.
Placing a beer in front of his customer, Joe indicated him with a nod to wait in the back room. Some moments later, he then followed Duncan and closed the door behind them.
"Joe, what's wrong?" Duncan wanted to know, concern making his voice tremble slightly. Panic began to rise in his heart as he thought about Amanda and Methos.
"It's Methos, Mac," Joe then confirmed his fear with a husky sounding voice. "Dr. Wildwather, a watcher psychiatrist, called me yesterday. She told me that Adam fought FOUR Immortals at the same time... he got away alive but it was damn close." He hesitated for a moment before he continued, "he took two quickening at the same time, Mac."
"No." Duncan felt is heart-rate speed up. If Methos had taken two quickening, and that in addition simultaneously - that would be bad, very, very bad. The Ancient had never assimilated them well... And two at the same time, that...
"He is in a psychiatric watcher hospital, and that for several months now," Joe then interrupted his thoughts. "He... apparently he... he lost his memory, Mac... He remembers nothing: not me, not you, not his name, not this century... not even the language – absolutely nothing: he has amnesia!... Damn watchers! If I had known, I would have insis..."
Duncan blinked, no longer paying attention to Joe – time seemed to freeze for some moments as the word 'amnesia' echoed in his mind. The only sound he heard was his blood roaring in his own ears as the face of Cochrane appeared in front of his eyes. No, he thought in rising fear, that cannot be, not Methos, not the Old Man. "No, Joe, that can't be true," he shook his head in denial, not wanting to believe what he had heard, "they must have mixed Methos with another Immortal."
Joe looked him directly into his eyes; the expression on his face was that of pure sadness. "It's true, Mac. I've seen the videotapes... it's definitely Methos... Maybe it's better you see it with your own eyes." With that, he took a tape out of his safe-box and inserted it into the video recorder.
A second later, Duncan saw Methos lying in a big white bed, around him several monitors that showed his vital signals. Duncan felt his heart hurt as he starred at his friend's relaxed face; he looked so... so young and vulnerable - almost like a kid. It made Duncan want to take him into a big hug and never to let go of him.
A few moments later, he watched Methos wake up and look confused at the surroundings. Then a doctor and his assistant entered and Methos went maniac. He began to shout in an ancient language and attack the doctor until he was held down by the assistant and another male nurse as the doctor sedated him.
Duncan shook his head in shock as he sat down next to Joe, no longer able to stand on his own feet. His hands trembled slightly as he starred at the now dark screen.
"That is not the only tape," Joe then whispered with a strange sounding voice as he stood up to exchange the tapes. When he returned to sit down, Duncan saw that Joe's face was pale, almost as pale as the wall behind him.
Then his attention was drawn back to the screen. Methos once again appeared there; he was standing in a room full of several objects, next to him a small woman in a white coat. She had long black hairs with a blue shimmer in it and looked like a native Indian to MacLeod. Although she was not young, she seemed to be full of life and had a very beautiful aura around her that made MacLeod like her at first sight. The woman was pointing with one hand at a computer. "Computer," she pronounced with a very gentle and beautiful voice.
"Computer," he then heard Methos repeat as he examined the PC a little bit closer. "What it use?" he then asked a little bit wrong but with an interested expression on his face.
His voice sounded strange in Duncan's ears: it was deeper than usual and the pronunciation was a bit different to his usual one. And his face... that was not Methos, not the Methos he knew; instead of the typical cynical face with the slight amused expression he knew so well, he found himself staring now at a vulnerable and young looking one – too young.
At the screen, he then saw the doctor smile at Methos/ Adam. "You mean 'what you can do with it'... wait a minute, I show you." She then booted the PC and explained to Adam how to use it. Then the video ended.
The room was silent for some moments, neither Duncan nor Joe spoke a single word.
Finally Duncan got up, his face white. "I have to see him, Joe... He needs my help now. I..."
"And what will you do then, Mac? The doctor looks after him now... I don't like it either, but I really believe that it's best for him to stay were he's now. He knows the doctor, Mac, and he knows the hospital - he feels safe there... but he doesn't know YOU or ME."
Duncan starred at him for some seconds before he stammered with disbelieve in his voice, "Joe... you... you don't mean that... The watchers even don't know who he really is. How should they deal with him?... No, he needs his friends. It's the best if..."
"Damn, Mac," Joe interrupted him tired but very seriously, "do you think I like that? Do you really think I want Methos in the hands of the watchers? I DON'T... But I think it's the only chance Methos has now; the doctor knows how to deal with amnesia – WE DON'T!"
"Joe, I..."
"Mac! Have you forgotten about Cochrane already?... You don't want that to happen to Methos, or do you?... Damn, Mac, we're speaking about 5000 years, 5000! If we're not cautious - and I mean very, very cautious - the whole mess can easily end in a disaster, and that not only for Methos."
"But..."
"No! The doctor told me that it's absolute important that we take slow steps, one by one. He needs time, Mac... And there IS hope: he seems to remember things of his past. The doctor told me that he sees you in his dreams - that's a very good sign... But as I said before: he needs time. Dr. Wildwather thinks that he will be ready in about a week or so to face you in person, but not today... please Mac, give him the time."
Duncan starred at Joe while he confessed to himself that Joe was right. He hated the thought of Methos in the hands of the watchers, but what could he do? Another disaster like the one that had happened to Cochrane he would never be able to forgive himself.
"Alright," he then finally agreed with a slightly depressed voice. "We proceed step by step... but I want to be informed about everything that concerns Methos."
"Good," Joe agreed, and then the room was silent again.
Watcher hospital, four days laterDr. Wildwather sat in her office and watched the screen in front of her while she made some notes on the paper lying on her desktop. The videotape showed her last session with Adam. Wanting to stimulate his memory and also test him for hidden psychical problems, she had given him several words to which he then responded with the first word coming to his mind - so to speak a spontaneous answer.
Subconsciously putting her pencil into her mouth and beginning to chew on it, she starred at the list she had made so far. Hm..., she thought with a slight frown, strange. Then she marked five words that had attracted her interest.
word ---- association
head ---- hair
flower ---- beautiful
water ---- drowning
question ---- answer
green ---- grass
dead ---- I
rich ---- poor
love ---- important
ship ---- drowning
white ---- black
blue ---- dead
sun ---- warm
war ---- bro… bad
Especially the word 'war' and its association were very interesting. Adam had not wanted to say 'bad' at first but another word instead. The problem was she hadn't been able to find out which word he originally had intended to say. Spooling the videotape several times back and forward, and watching that particular moment over and over but not getting a better indication, she finally had given up. Instead, she had written down all words she had been able to come up with that began with bro..., but none of it had made any sense in her eyes.
Sighing deeply, she finally laid down her pencil and passed with one hand over her face. Then she closed her eyes in frustration. His associations don't make any sense... or do they? Reopening her eyes, she stared again at the words on her list. Was there a connection between the words she hadn't discovered yet?
Water – dead – ship – blue – war... Hmmm... Suddenly an idea appeared in her mind. Of course, she thought while she slapped herself with a hand against her brow, I'm stupid... why haven't I seen it before?... water, ship and blue have indeed a connection: water is blue and a ship normally is in the water. His answer to ship and water was drowning, to blue dead: that could mean that he has almost died once in the water - maybe a ship-accident... And the association 'dead' and 'I' would make under this context sense, too: an almost deadly accident would surly have been a very traumatic event – because of that it could be perfectly possibly for him later to associate the word 'dead' with himself... To prove her theory, she decided to ask MacLeod or Dawson later about this subject; maybe one of them knew about a tragic event in Adam's life that was connected to water somehow
Then her eyes once again focussed on the term 'war' and his answer; for a short moment she had the strong feeling that she had overseen something - something that was very important. Shaking her head in slight anger at herself, she then forced the unwelcome thought away; her explanation of the words was logical and made sense... besides: Adam was not fluent in English yet, maybe he had mixed two words.
Satisfied with this explanation, she then left her office; it was time to look after her other patients.
Next day, evening
He sat in front of the big mirror that was hanging in his room and was starring at his own reflection for more than 2 hours now. A young man with deep green eyes and a big nose looked back at him. Young – he shook his head, young was not a term he would have described himself with. The first weeks after his awakening in the hospital he had felt young, yes, but since his visit in the watcher HQ the moments he felt old, almost ancient had become more and more. And his bloody and violent dreams indicated the same – those weren't the dreams of a young and innocent man.
"Who are you?" he whispered to his reflection. Only silence answered him. He raised his right hand and toughed his reflection, caressing the features with his fingertips.
"Adam?" he whispered. "Are you Adam?" Starring in his own eyes for some minutes, he repeated the name over and over in his mind - but it still remained empty, without any meaning to him. Then he finally shook his head, "no, not Adam... Adam is a lie... but if I'm not Adam, who else I am?"
'Brother', the man with the scar had called him in his dreams... yes, he wanted to be a brother, wanted to have someone he belonged to, someone he could trust with his life, someone who would care for him - but was that all he was, a brother? Was he not more, an own individual with its own name?
Frustration rose in him as he continued to stare at his silent reflection, frustration at his surroundings, at the doctor and at himself for not being able to remember. The eyes in the mirror turned from green to gold; the face hardened as an expression of anger appeared on it.
Anger and frustration increased until he no longer was able to keep his self-control. He clenched his right hand into a fist and hit the face in the mirror with all strength he could manage. A loud rattle sounded through the room, and he watched his reflection in slight satisfaction shatter in 1000 fragments and then fall to the floor.
Starring at the broken glass, his mind needed some seconds to register the pain that was now burning in his right hand. When he looked down at it, he saw red blood and slight flashes of quickening as his injuries closed themselves within seconds, letting only the red blood remain. Sighing deeply, he shut his eyes: 'brother' would do until he would get his name back - after all 'brother' HAD a meaning to him.
Reopening his eyes after some minutes again, he then decided that he should better take care of the glass fragments now; it would very likely cause questions if the doctor heard about it – questions he really had no intention to answer.
Notes: When I wrote the watcher hospital part, I had the episode 'Till Death' in my mind. Methos mentioned there two times that he really hates water. He says that he and 6 singing monks crossed the sea to the Iceland; but I don't think that is enough reason to hate water. So I decided that he drowned once (there will be a small reference to it in a later chapter).
The method Dr. Wildwather uses on Methos really exists; it's called 'association method' by C.G.Jung (also I changed it a bit).