joslin: Dr.Wildwather's problem is that she has no clue who she is dealing with. She is missing some very important information, and in addition to that, he also hasn't told her the whole truce about his dreams. Another problem is that she not really misinterpreted his answers (to the test): he HAS a hidden psychical problem with water; so it's not her fault that she interpreted the association blue and Death wrong. And she also decided to ask Duncan about Adam and a water incident... and the answer will not help her - but you better read it. And to Joe: he will have another appearance in two later chapters (only he and Adam).
Village-Mystic: 'a flashback scene after the killing of Duncan's ex': a good idea, but the problem is Adam suffered amnesia; so I don't think he remembers her now – the flashback would have to be from Duncan's point of view (I don't think that Methos stayed with Mac after the quickening; but maybe you have a good idea?) – but I have planed a chapter in which Adam will have to deal with the after effects of a quickening (but I don't want to say more now) :-)
Duncan's loft, next day
"... and don't touch him," Duncan heard Dr. Wildwather's gentle voice at the other end of the line. She had called him to give him last instructions for his first face-to-face meeting with Adam that was planned in two hours.
"He doesn't know you," she continued at the phone. "I have told him about your teacher-student relationship because he seems to recognize you somehow and because he has the feeling of safety with you. But as I said before, he not really knows you... Maybe seeing you in person will bring some memories back, but we cannot be sure: so please keep your distance!"
Duncan heard her pause for a moment before she continued, "and there is something else: I don't want you to tell him stories about his past unless he asks you specific questions... It is very important that he remembers on his own. It will not help him to hear stories of his life out of your mouth – he could mix it later with real memories, and that's not what we want... You surly understand that, don't you?"
"Yes," he confirmed her; he would do what was best for Adam. Joe and he had talked about how he should act towards Adam; they finally had decided that it would be best if he continued with the teacher-act - although he would no longer have to pretend it because Adam was now indeed a young and inexperienced new Immortal who knew absolutely nothing about the Game.
"By the way," he heard her say," I have a question about Adam, maybe you know something about it. Has he ever shown any dislike or fear, maybe even panic towards water?"
Duncan tried to remember if Methos had ever shown any of the described signs. Hadn't Methos mentioned someday that he hated water? Yes, there had been something... Methos had told him a story about some monks on a boat, but he not clearly remembered what it had been about. "Yes," he then finally answered, "I think he mentioned several times that he hates water very much; and I think he said something about a boat, but I cannot remember it exactly... Why?"
"Oh, nothing," the doctor's gentle voice reassured him. "I only did some tests with him and wondered a bit... but since you confirmed my guess, I think it's nothing... OK," she then finally repeated what they had decided, "you will meet Adam in the garden that belongs to the hospital; he will have more space there and the surroundings will help him to stay relaxed... See you then in two hours. Goodbye."
"Goodbye," Duncan replied before he hung up the phone. He sighed deeply, two more hours until he finally would be able to see Methos.
Garden of the watcher hospital, almost two hours laterHe was sitting under a big oak in the watcher hospital's garden and starred at the flowers in front of him. His heart was beating in excitement as he imagined the meeting between MacLeod and him – he hoped so much that it would help him to remember. Looking at his clock, he saw that he only had ten minutes left until MacLeod would finally arrive.
Suddenly his thoughts were disturbed by a loud noise. As he looked up, he discerned a small woman of about 55 running towards him. She had long ruffled grey hair that stood in all directions from her head and was clothed into the typical white outfit all of Dr. Wildwather's psychiatric patients wore. Apparently this woman had somehow managed to get out of her room. When she came closer, he saw that her eyes were wide open and that they had a crazy glimmer in them as she glared at him.
"Death, Death,... DEATH," she then screamed with a very shrill voice that hurt in his ears. "Death," she hissed again while she pointed with one finger at him. "I know you, Horseman, you may deceive the others, but not me!... I can see you, you and your damned brothers riding; I see you slaughter thousands of men and women... You are DEATH!"
Her words stunned him and made him blink in confusion. As they echoed in his mind, he could feel something deep in him respond to it; a silver skull-mask appeared before his eyes – then the moment was gone and he found himself surrounded by several male nurses who were trying to reassure the screaming woman. While three men guided her back to her room, another explained to him, "don't listen to her, she is crazy... She was a very good watcher once, doing research on ancient Immortals until she snapped some years ago. She claims to see things in her mind... Her supervisors decided to put here under medical care after she had tried to kill one of the Immortals."
The man shook his head before he continued with a slight frown on his face," although I'm a little surprised; I really thought her to be better, but for about thirteen or fourteen weeks she has been acting very badly again – we have to sedate her almost every day... Poor woman is always shouting something about 'Death being here' and 'that she could see him ride with his brothers'. Really crazy if you ask me!... By the way, Dr. Wildwather wants me to tell you that your teacher called. He will arrive in three minutes, so don't get disturbed when you'll feel his quickening." He smiled gently at the young Immortal, "much luck! I hope you remember something." Then he turned and hurried back in the hospital, leaving Adam once again alone with his disturbing thoughts.
A few minutes later, he then suddenly felt a sensation; panic rose in him for a moment and his heart rate began to speed up. This had to be the 'buzz' the doctor had warned him about. Trying to calm down, he reassured himself that it was Duncan he was feeling and that he was not in danger.
Only seconds and he would see him face to face – his teacher. His throat tightened and he could feel his legs weaken as the tension rose in him. Maybe it was too soon for a meeting? Maybe he was not ready yet?
His self-torturing thoughts were then suddenly interrupted by the appearance of a dark-haired man who came towards him, palms open in a non-threatening gesture – it was MacLeod as he recognized from the photo Dr. Wildwather had shown to him.
Hearing his heart beat even faster, he felt his body tremble in slight tension as he examined MacLeod. There was definitely something, an aura about the other man that made him want to trust MacLeod. He was absolutely sure that he knew the man, that they had a past together. He waited for the memories to come – but his hope was ruined: there was still nothing, the black hole in his mind remained empty. For a short moment he felt the overwhelming feeling of disappointed; he had put so much hope into this meeting...
"Hi," a gentle voice then interrupted his depressing thoughts, "I'm Duncan MacLeod, but my friends call me Mac..." The man pointed at the grass in front of them as he smiled at him; it was a very friendly smile that gave him back some hope. "Maybe we should sit down?"
DuncanWhen Duncan felt the characteristic sensation of Methos's quickening in his head, he began to hurry, not wanting to frighten Adam by it.
The moment he finally discerned him - a lonely figure standing under a big oak in the garden - he felt his heart beat in pain. This young man was definitely not Methos, not the Methos he knew, he had to confess to himself as he looked into the deep green eyes that stared with a somehow fearful expression at him, fear and something else... hope maybe?
The eyes examine him very closely; on Adam's face appeared an expression as if he would be expecting something. After a few moments, a slight flicker of disappointment then crossed Adam's face and Duncan could hear him sigh deeply.
"Hi," Duncan greeted, "I'm Duncan MacLeod, but my friends call me Mac..." He pointed at the grass while he smiled at Adam, "maybe we should sit down?"
After they had settled - Adam with a big distance to MacLeod - Duncan saw once again deep green eyes focussed on him. Then he heard a voice, Methos's voice - although it sounded very strange to him, "you are my teacher." It was a statement and a question together at the same time. Playing nervously with his clock, Adam looked expectantly at Duncan.
"Yes, I'm your teacher," Duncan confirmed him. As he stared at the unsure and young looking man who sat next to him, he felt the strong impulse to hug him and tell him that everything would be fine. But remembering the doctor's orders, he forced himself to keep his distance – although it was very, very hard.
"I don't know what to say," the young voice continued, "... it's a little difficult for me." The green eyes looked for a moment down at the grass again. Duncan heard him take a deep breath before he finally continued, "I mean...," hysterical giggle, "you now me better than I know myself, but I in contrast know almost nothing about you... this is really very hard for me. I should have thousand questions now, but I'm not able to come up with one single one... I..."
"Hey," Duncan said, very glad now that Dr. Wildwather had prepared him for the meeting and this kind of reaction, "it's ok... really." He smiled very gentle. "You don't have to ask questions today, there's so much time later... I've an idea: why not listen to me while I tell you something about my past? So you can get to now me a little bit better. If you've questions then, you're welcome to ask what ever you want to know."
He thanked the doctor once again silently for her advice when he saw relief appear on Adam's face. His body seemed to relax a bit as he starred with interested eyes at Duncan, finally nodding for him to begin.
1 hour later, watcher hospital
After they had parted about one hour later, he had gone to his room to be alone. He had told the doctor that he would need some time for himself to assimilate the new information.
Sitting at his bed now, his feet drawn up with his hands around to his body, he starred at the white wall in front of him while his inner-self was in uproar. The meeting had been a disappointment for him. He had hoped so much that the personal contact with his teacher would bring his memories back, maybe not all but at least some. Alone one single flicker of a memory would have been enough - but he had gotten nothing instead.
And Duncan had called him 'Adam' the whole time... 'Adam'. He had hoped so much for a hint that MacLeod knew his real name, but there had been none. And Duncan also had confirmed him that they knew each other only for a short time.
He continued to stare at the wall... After a few minutes, a disturbing thought suddenly appeared in his mind: what if MacLeod is right? Maybe my name is really Adam and I imagine things? Yes, I have seen that man with the scar in my dreams and I felt a connection... but is this really my own memory? Or is this only an after-effect of the strange quickening I got? Can I trust my feelings and thoughts any longer? Are they really my own?
He couldn't be sure. And to be honest: this 'Adam Pierson life' made much more sense to him than any other explanation he had been able to come up with. The doctor had explained him about his life, where he came from, his early years and his time in the watchers; and she had said that he was not older than 30 years. When during this time could he possibly have met Kronos and the other two Immortals in person? And why should they have called him brother?
But on the other hand, he sometimes had the feeling that he was old, very old; and there were also those pictures of the past in his dreams... only memories he had received through the quickening? It was possible... maybe one of the Immortals, he had taken, had killed one of the three men he was seeing in his dreams - or maybe there had been a fourth man?
He sighed deeply, there had also been that crazy woman in the garden today, screaming at him about his brothers riding on horses. She must have indeed seen something or why else should she have known about his dreams. And the male nurse had also said that she had been screaming about the Horsemen for about 13 weeks now... was this not the time he had arrived here?
He pulled the blanket around his shoulders and closed his eyes in frustration. It was all so confusing... nothing made real sense. He once again sighed deeply; not knowing who he was made him feel vulnerable – a feeling he really hated.
After continuing to stare for about one hour at the white wall in front of him, he finally decided to give the teacher-student-thing a try, he would be Adam - at least as long as he couldn't come up with something else.