Thank you all for reviewing!
Village-Mystic: 'What happened to the Blonde?' Oops, hmm... wait a year and maybe I can come up with a good explanation... ok, shame on me, I totally have forgotten about him (so let's hope some of the other guests called an ambulance, or maybe his injury was not so bad at all and a cold ice-pack was enough help for him :-)
daughter1: ‚when are Joe or Duncan going to tell Adam who he really is': read and see :-)
Eldricht: Thanks, I changed truce and truth
Joe's Bar
Joe was just about to close his bar, when suddenly a figure appeared at the door. Joe needed some seconds to register that this figure was no one else than Adam – although he looked... horrible – there was no other word for it. His face was very pale, almost white, covered in sweat; his green eyes were wide open, the widened pupils not reacting the slightest bit to the light.
Concern rose in Joe as he examined the Immortal a bit closer. Adam looked almost a bit catatonic to him... his coat was dirty, and Joe also discovered a big stain on its front – blood?... and what was this? Holes? What to hell? Joe's heart began to speed up as he remembered that Adam had left the bar together with Mac. Something must have happened – something very bad. "Adam," he heard himself say, his voice strange even to his own ears. "Has something happened to Mac, Adam?"
Wide green eyes focussed on him, full of confusion.
"Is something wrong with Mac?" Joe repeated again while he let the Immortal in, closing then the door behind him with slight trembling hands. Concern made his throat tighten as he fixed the Immortal's back.
"No," he then heard an almost inaudible whisper, the voice sounding confused and... young, terrible young. "Mac is fine."
"Adam, what's wrong?" Joe could hear fear in his own voice. Forcing himself to bring his increasing panic under control, he then touched Adam's shoulder and turned the Immortal to him, so that they stood face-to-face. Through the fabric of the coat he could feel Adam tremble; green eyes looked at him in fear. Then Joe watched in slight horror a tear run down Adam's check.
"I..., "Adam sobbed almost inaudible. "I almost killed Mac." Adam backed away from Joe, his eyes wide. "I don't understand it, there is something in me, a dark anger... it overwhelmed me. I... I can do nothing against it." Green eyes looked with an impression of despair into Joe's. "Please help me. I don't know where else I can go... Joe, please!"
"Shh...," Joe murmured softly while he stepped to Adam and then took him into his arms. "Shh... it's ok, buddy, it's ok," he whispered gently, trying to calm down the despaired Immortal.
First, Adam was rigid in his arms, but then from one moment to the other, his self-control shattered. Joe could feel a shudder run through the young-looking body in his arms, then Adam suddenly began to weep at his shoulder, apparently no longer able to stop the tears.
Joe stared in real horror at the crying bundle in his arms. Methos would never have allowed himself to show so much emotion in front of his friends, would never have broken down in Joe's arms; but this was not Methos, Joe reminded himself – or maybe it was Methos, but the Methos he had been 5000 years ago, a very young Methos, a vulnerable and frightened kid.
Not knowing what else to do, Joe began to stroke Adam's back gently with one hand, trying to calm him down while he murmured reassuring words into his ears. Under his hands, he could still feel the body trembling. Oh, God, he thought in fear, please let him find to himself again. Please let him not become another Cochrane.
About 5 minutes later, Adam had finally rebuilt his mental walls enough again to free himself out of Joe's arms. While he whipped the tears of his wet face, he tried a slight smile, looking a bit embarrassed with now red eyes at Joe. "I'm sorry, Joe, I made a total fool of myself... I..."
"Hey," Joe interrupted him gently, shaking his head vehemently. "It's ok, buddy, really... Look, why don't you go in the back room and sit down there while I make you a hot tee or something else. Then we two talk... I promise you that you'll feel much better afterwards, ok?"
Green-red eyes stared at him for a moment. Then Adam nodded, a shy smile on his face. "Thank you, Joe... I think I would really like some tea now."
After watching Adam disappear in the back room, Joe closed his eyes for some seconds and inhaled deeply: what a bloody mess! He sighed, then he went to make some tee. While he waited for the water to warm up, he dialled Duncan's number.
"MacLeod," he heard Mac's concerned voice at the other end of the line.
"It's me, Mac. Adam is with me at the moment. He had a mental break down... What to hell happened?"
There was a relieved sigh coming from the other end of the line, then again Mac's voice, "thank God that he's with you. I was so concerned that something bad had happened to him. I searched everywhere..."
"Mac, easy," Joe interrupted his friend, "what happened exactly?"
"We run in de Court and his student, "Mac's voice suddenly became angry and a bit outraged, "he cheated. That damn bastard shot me and tried to take my head. Had not Adam jumped between me and his blade, I would be dead." Duncan paused for a second. "I helped Adam up... and then I felt a burning pain in my back. After that, everything went dark. When I woke up again, Adam was gone... You cannot imagine how concerned I've been. I already searched for him at my Dojo; your place was the next on my list... Don't let him go away, Joe, I'll come as fast as possible."
"Easy, Mac. I don't think this would be a good idea right now."
"I don't understand," Mac's puzzled voice came out of the receiver.
"Look, Mac, Adam is totally confused now. I really think it's best if only one of us deals with him at the moment." And it seems that he trusts me more then you, he added silently in his mind.
"But..."
"No, Mac. I'll call you in one hour or so. Please keep your distance so long... Look, I know that you don't understand it now; I promise I'm going to explain you the reason later.... Please, Mac, trust me with this."
For some seconds only silence answered him, then he heard a deep sigh. "Alright," Duncan finally agreed. "I don't understand it, and I don't like it, but I trust you."
"Thank you, Mac... See you later then."
"Yeah... goodbye, Joe."
Relieved, Joe let out the breath he subconsciously had been holding during the whole time, and looked after the water. After filling it into a cup and putting a tea bag into it, he then finally returned to Adam.
The moment he saw him – a small figure sitting on a chair, arms around his angled feet, his head resting on his knees, Joe's heart almost broke. This was definitely not a 5000-year-old man sitting in front of him but a frightened and vulnerable kid instead. Joe's throat tightened as he placed the tea in front of the Immortal. "Here." Forcing himself to smile, he then continued, "I called Mac to let him know that you are here with me now."
Wide green eyes, still red from the crying, fixed him with an expression of fear. "He hates me now, doesn't he? Will he take my head?"
"NO!!!" Joe shook his head vehemently while he sat down next to Adam. "No, of course not, buddy. He is only concerned about you, concerned because you have run away... He desperately tried to find you." Joe looked into Adam's eyes. "Do you want to tell me what happened? Maybe I can help you."
Adam looked away from Joe and let go of his feet, taking instead the hot cup of tea into his trembling hands, holding tightly onto it. Then he starred for some seconds at the hot liquid. When he finally began to speak, his voice sounded husky and despaired. "I lied, Joe. I never dreamt of MacLeod... instead I dreamt of Kronos."
At the mention of the Horseman's name Joe almost choked, a cold shudder ran down his back. No, he thought in a mix of panic and fury, this damn bastard; may he braise in hell. Why him, why not Alexa or someone else... but no, of all people it has to be him you remember. No wonder that you react the way you do...
Not seeing Joe frown, Adam said, "I see him in my dreams – bloody dreams, full of violence." Taking a deep breath, he then continued, "I kill people in there." Suddenly Adam looked up, in his eyes a mixture of pain and fear, "and I like it." The last words were whispered so quietly that Joe almost wasn't able to understand them.
For a second, Joe felt the burning desire to kill Kronos rise in him - but the Horsemen was already dead, so he lay instead his right hand on Adam's shoulder and pressed it encouragingly. "It's only a dream, Adam. This is not real. It's not really you..."
A hysterical laugh interrupted him. "Oh yes, Joe, it's me. I love it... I love the power, the pain I inflict... and the killing. It's definitely me, Joe... I'm Death."
"I'm Death," he repeated almost screaming, not giving Joe time to say a single word. Then he got up, his back turned to Joe, and stared at one of the pictures hanging at the wall. "I'm Death," he whispered, barley audible now. "Kronos called me that."
He remained standing in front of the picture for some seconds before he then suddenly turned, a very tired and hopelessness expression now on his face. "At the beginning I really thought Kronos would be a dream; later I considered him to be a memory I got with the quickening." Adam shook his head, his shoulders sacked down. "But the truth is that he is really a part of my past. I'm Death... a Horseman of the Apocalypse, a killer... I lied to you, to Mac. I'm not Adam Pierson, Joe. Adam is only a lie – he never was real. I've been lying to you during the whole time, Joe; pretended to be someone I'm not."
"I know."
"What?"
"I said I know," Joe repeated with a serious voice while he got up and stepped to Adam. Stopping in front of the confused Immortal, he then extended his right hand and touched Adam's face. "I know... but you are wrong. You think you know the truth, but you are wrong."
"I... I don't understand," Adam stammered, his eyes now wide in confusion.
"You were Death – yes, that's right - but the pronunciation lies on the word 'were'. You AREN'T Death any longer, you've changed a long time ago."
"You know about Death?" Adam interrupted him in shock.
"Yes, I know about Death. I know about Kronos, and I also know about the Horsemen... But I also know YOU, and I'm sure – no – I swear that you are no longer the man called Death."
"But my dreams..."
"Are only dreams, nothing more."
Joe watched Adam close his eyes. Then after a few moments, he finally reopened them and focussed once again at Joe. "You say I'm not Death anymore... but I'm also not Adam... so, who I am?"
Joe sighed, having all the time feared for the moment Adam would ask this particular question. "First of all you are my friend, a very good friend - you risked your live for me... And second: Adam is not a lie. A part of you IS Adam, but only a part of you. You are so much more..." Joe looked directly into the green eyes, hesitating for a moment. "You are Methos."
The already pale face in front of Joe went white; green eyes widened in shock while his body began to tremble badly. Backing away to the wall, Adam whispered, "Methos."
For a moment that felt like eternity to Joe, neither spoke. Then Adam finally looked at Joe, on his face a strange expression, a mix of recognition and frustration. "Methos – I remember the name now – it has a meaning to me. It's MY name."
"But you don't remember anything else, or do you?" Joe asked a bit disappointed. For a short moment, a part of him really had hoped that calling Methos by his true name would make the Ancient remember his life again - but obviously, this was not the case.
"No," Adam confirmed him, his face showing the same big disappointment Joe was feeling. "I don't remember anything else..." He then shrugged helplessly, "You said Adam is a part of me... I don't understand, Joe, how do you mean that? How can he be a part of me? "
Joe sighed deeply while he passed with his right hand over his face, considering what he should do now. Should he tell Adam the truth? Would this help him or lead into another Cochrane-disaster? He examined the young looking Immortal in front of him a bit closer. Frustrated green eyes looked back at him in confusion, confusion and... wasn't there also a glimmer of hope in them? Yes, definitely. Joe sighed again, wishing himself for a second far, far away.
Deep in his heart he felt that it was time to give Adam some answers; but on the other side he feared Adam's reactions, still having the negative cause of Cochrane in his mind. Maybe he should get himself some professional help? The doctor surly could help him deal with this situation in the right way. But he would have to tell her the truth then, or at least parts of it – not a thought he liked very much. But honestly, was there another way? He fixed the Immortal again. Adam didn't make a very mentally balanced impression to him: Kronos appearing in his dreams and his recently displayed tendency for violence weren't very good signs.
Alright, he then finally decided with a heavy heart, I definitely need the doctor's help before the whole mess will completely run out of the rudder. Focussing his attention back at the still expectantly looking Immortal in front of him, he finally forced himself to produce an encouraging smile on his face. "Look, buddy, I really think that's time you get some answers, but I don't want to do it without your doctor and Mac." Seeing the expression on Adam's face change into disappointment, he quickly continued, "I'm going to call them now and invite them here, and then we talk, ok?"
Although Adam didn't seem to be very happy with this solution, he finally nodded. "Ok."
Notes: I really thought very hard about ending the story with this chapter, but then I thought it would be too easy. I mean, Joe tells Methos his real name and everything is fine again? I don't think so. So I decided to go with another end, the end I have planned since the beginning. I really hope you will like it (I don't know if I can get it ready by tomorrow; but I promise to come up with it as fast as I can manage)