Disclaimer-I do not own Harry Potter or the quote from Rent

The Troubles of Utopia
"Harry, Hermione, you will not believe what Luna just did!" Ron said, seeing them approach. Harry had removed the speed charm and now they were walking normally.

"Well, if you tell us, we'll believe it," Hermione said.

"It was right after you said that "You just noticed" remark," Ron said. "She was saying how you don't respect me too much. She got all weird and asked if we ever dated. So I told her we never did, and she asked me if I wanted to. And I…I got mad at her and told her she was a nosy freak. She started crying and ran off."

"Oh, Ron, you screwed up bad," Harry said.

"That's what Ginny said when I told her about it."

"Well…we all know that Luna and I are not on the best of terms," Hermione said, "but I do think you went a bit far, Ron."

"Why does this happen? Am I just gonna make stupid mistakes until one day I wake up and know exactly how girls work?"

"Yeah, that's pretty much it," Harry said.

"Oh, Harry, don't be a moron," Hermione said, giving him a little shove. "I think the first clue that you went wrong was calling her a nosy freak. Did you at least apologize?"

"I tried, but she pushed me aside and ran off before I could finish."

"Doesn't sound like Luna," Hermione said thoughtfully. "Normally she wouldn't care what anyone says about her, unless they were insulting her father." She thought on it for a moment. Then, a slow, sly smile spread across her face. "Oh."

"What? "Oh" what?" Ron asked eagerly.

"Have you ever noticed how she laughs at only your jokes?"

"Well yeah, but I thought she was just being spooky," Ron said.

"Have you ever noticed how she always takes up your defense?"

"Yeah."

"Did you know that she ran straight to St. Mungo's just to see if you were okay?"

"Well…George mentioned something along those lines…"

"Has she ever pouted her lips and called you "Pookie"?"

"Yea—what?"

Hermione smiled. "Just making sure you were paying attention."

"Hey, you've never pouted your lips and called me "Pookie", Hermes," Harry said coyly.

"That's because I respect myself, Harry," Hermione answered automatically.

"What's your point, Hermione?" Ron asked.

"Oh, isn't it obvious?! Luna fancies you!"

Ron opened his mouth, and closed it, like a beached fish. "B-but…"

"I would've thought you'd recognized the symptoms, both of you, seeing as how you've both had crushes before!"

"What?!" they roared unanimously.

"Well, Harry, there was that obvious bit of fancying on your part towards Miss Cho Chang."

Cho. Harry had nearly forgotten about her. He barely remembered what she looked like, and so far had not seen her.

"And you, Ron, your crush on me in both 2nd and 4th year was so transparent it was painful."

"Me? A crush…on you?!"

"Oh, don't bother covering it up, Ron, you're terrible at lying."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Ron exploded.

"Well, a good portion of second year was spent with me either covered in fur or Petrified. And most of fourth year was spent with Viktor. Plus, it would've been immensely awkward to say anything, especially because you are so lousy at expressing your feelings."

"Thanks, Hermione. I'm beginning to think that Luna was right. You don't respect me too much."

Hermione flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Luna, I think, was trying to point out something wrong with me, because she obviously noticed that you had fancied me for a while and she's…she's jealous."

"That sounds sort of conceited," Ron said.

"It's just theory, Ron. How about this, maybe she just doesn't like me. Happy?"

"That's not exactly good either…"

"In any case, Ron, you owe her an apology and an explanation, and you should do it soon."

"All right, I will," Ron said, chewing on his bottom lip. "So, Harry, what happened with Snape?"

"You won't believe it," Harry said, whispering conspiratorially as someone passed by. "Snape actually went for McGonagall after he left my aunt with Malfoy in that hallway. And it gets even stranger…Malfoy threatened Snape to get him to join Voldemort! He said he would kill my aunt if Snape wasn't completely loyal to Voldemort!"

Ron twitched slightly at the name, but pressed on. "And Snape…he actually did that? He actually did something to save your aunt's life?"

"Yeah…I guess that he turned spy so that he could keep on fooling Malfoy into keeping his end of the bargain while doing something for our side."

"That doesn't sound like Snape, though," Ron said. "Maybe…maybe he found out that your aunt had married someone else…and he was so angry…he decided to forget about her and come back to our side? So Malfoy could just kill her if he wanted to?"

"No faith in human nature once again, Ron," Hermione said. "But…it sounds like…that could be it. What do you think, Harry?"

"Ron's idea sounds more like Snape, but then, it's unlike Snape to be with my aunt," Harry said slowly.

"Maybe we've all had…at least a slightly flawed view of him?" Hermione suggested tentatively.

"I'm not jumping to any conclusions about him yet," Ron said fiercely. "He's still been an arrogant git for 5 years."

"Hmm. Well, Ron, you'd better get around to apologizing to Luna," Hermione said.

"Yeah, yeah, all right," Ron said. "I think she might be in our common room; Ginny said that she had run in there to tell her about it."

"All right. We'll stick around out here for now," Harry said.

"See ya, mates," Ron said, waving a little as he walked off.

Ron fiddled with the sleeves of his robe as he made his way toward his Common Room.

It wasn't unthinkable or even surprising that Hermione knew that he'd had crushes on her for two years. It was still slightly awkward.

Maybe it went in cycles of two years. 1st year-hated her. 2nd year-loved her. 3rd year-hated her. 4th year-loved her. 5th year-not quite so much hated her as tolerated her. 6th year…

This year was a weird year. Harry and Hermione were together, something that Ron knew in his heart of hearts would always happen. The two were just so perfect for each other. The Golden Boy and The School Brain.

He'd always felt a little like the third wheel, a sparrow among eagles. Maybe that's why he'd been fancying Hermione. Aren't people always fascinated with what they can never be?

So why did Luna fancy him, he wondered? There was nothing really special about him. He wasn't all that great a Quidditch Keeper, though that last game had been rather awesome, if he did say so himself. He wasn't especially brilliant; his O.W.L results showed that. And the last useful thing he figured himself doing was sacrificing himself on that Chess Board so Harry and Hermione could get through to the Sorcerer's Stone. He hadn't even had much of a role in saving his own sister in 2nd year.

He thought of Luna and how she was always hiding behind her magazine. Did she feel like the odd man out, too? Or was that her nature? Was she anti-social or one of those Muggle people in the 60's, called Hippies? Was she just so disgusted with society that she had to be the exact opposite of it? Or was she just raised that way?

Just how little did he know about her?

"Flibberflabber," Ron said, and the Fat Lady swung open her portrait hole. He climbed into the Common Room.

"Ron, she's asleep," Ginny said, looking up from the table where she was doing her Charms homework. "I got her to finally stop crying about twenty minutes ago and she fell off for a nap before she heads back to her own Common Room."

"Um, I…I guess I'll wait here," Ron said.

Ginny raised her eyebrow, but said nothing, just flicked her hand over to the direction of the couch.

Luna was curled up in a not quite fetal position, her knees bent and her arms resting on her calves. A few strands of grey-blonde hair hung in her face but most of it was swept back.

Ron noted how she didn't look so strange when she was asleep, but unlike most people, she didn't look childlike either. She looked…pretty.

Forget pretty. Beautiful. Downright gorgeous.

Feeling like a fool, he sat down at the end of the couch and simply watched her sleep.

"Mommy? Mommy?!"

Ron nearly jumped out of his skin when Luna started screeching. Ginny turned around and stared.

"Mommy, please don't die, we need you! Daddy will go…Mommy! MOMMY!"

"Luna, wake up!" Ron leaned over and grabbed her shoulders. He yanked her upright and shook her. She jiggled like a rag doll. "Luna! Come on! Wake up!"

Luna's eyes shot open so suddenly that Ron threw her back in surprise and leaned backwards so far he might have fallen over the arm rest.

Luna's normally content, mysterious eyes were bloodshot. All of a sudden she had a haggard look to her, like a beggar who had barely survived until the end of winter.

"Luna?" Ron asked, very carefully. "Are…are you okay?"

She didn't answer.

"Were…were you dreaming about your mother dying?" he continued tentatively. Harry had mentioned that Luna could see thestrals, which meant she had seen death, and her shouting obviously meant it was her mother who had died.

She still didn't answer.

"Luna?"

"I miss my mommy," Luna said softly. "I'm almost 15, I need her! Daddy needs her!"

"Hey, it's…it's all right," Ron said lamely. He slowly reached out and patted her shoulder.

"It's not all right! We need her here! Especially with Voldemort here!"

Ginny jumped and squeaked at the name, and Ron's insides gave a little leap when the name escaped Luna's lips. Even though he had been insane at the time—and fighting off killer brains—he had seen Voldemort, recognized him, and had never seen anything so sinister. Harry and Hermione could call him by name—because they were either responsible for killing him or rational—but Ron couldn't bring himself to say it.

Luna, apparently, didn't have any problem saying the name, but her bloodshot eyes seemed to widen even more than they were, making her seem like a person who had witnessed gruesome murders and just barely escaped herself.

"Mommy was so strong; she could fight his Death Eaters!" Luna breathed. "Daddy can't…and I can't…"

"Luna, come on, hey, it's all right," Ron said, still feeling foolish as he began to stiffly rub her shoulder up and down. "We've got an Auror training us, and all those extra defense lessons, and your dad's in the Order, isn't he? I'm sure you'll both be okay."

Luna began to chew her ring finger nail. "But, Ron—ow!"

"What?"

"My nail broke." Luna took her hand down to show it.

"JEEZ!" Ron said, taking her hand in his two and staring at her nail. Half of it was ripped off. "You'd better take that to Madam Pomfrey, it could get infected…um…"

He suddenly realized that he was holding Luna's hand. He glanced up at Luna to see that a faint, dark pink was rising in the apples of her cheeks.

"Yes, it hurts a lot," Luna said, back to her usual tone of voice. "I'll go right up to Madam Pomfrey, and I'll meet you downstairs for dinner, all right?"

"Y-yeah," Ron said. "You do that."

"Good-bye, Ronald," Luna said, standing up.

"Uh, Luna," Ron said quickly.

"Yes?" Luna was halfway to the door.

"You can…you can just call me "Ron" from now on," he stammered.

Luna beamed at him, her cheeks red. Her eyes were still bloodshot. "I'll do that, Ron."

Luna climbed out the portrait hole amid snickers from Ginny.

"What're you laughing at, Ginny?"

"Oh, nothing," Ginny said in a sugary, bubbly voice. "I'm going to go meet Colin for dinner. I'll see you downstairs."

Luna stopped, hesitatingly, outside the door. She didn't want to enter; she never did.

She stared at her ring finger as she felt a tug at it. The other half of her nail was re-growing very slowly. It inched its way over the tip of her finger before it finally created a perfect fingernail.

She gasped as writing appeared on it. Written in crimson blood were the words: "Don't even try it".

Luna clamped her lips together. It had not told her to go in. She didn't have to.

Breathing a very audible sigh of relief, she slowly made her way back to the Ravenclaw common room.

Petunia let out a very big sigh as she sat on her bed. The former Muggle Studies teacher had left the room sparkling clean, so there had been little left to occupy her time after she had unpacked. And she had not much to unpack. She didn't dare return to her house; God only knew what was crawling around on # 4, Privet Drive. All her clothes and small necessities were brand-new from Diagon Alley, and felt cool and impersonal when she thought of her home.

Sighing again, she traced the outline of the Hogwarts Crest on the bedpost. She never thought she'd walk these halls again. She never thought she'd come within 100 yard of this facility again.

All of these memories. She remembered she, Lily, Amelia, Marlene, Molly, Emmeline, Hestia, Diana, and Alice had sat and giggled in Lily's dorm, teasing each other and trying to guess who Petunia's mystery man was. She had lain dreaming about this "mystery man", before he had ultimately betrayed her, of course, thank God McGonagall had run in when she did. Where she had spent her last night in the castle, crying, hating Snape for betraying her, her friends for not understanding, and herself for pushing Lily away.

So many bad memories, and so many good.

"Mrs. Dursely!"

6th-year Susan Bones was knocking on her door. Petunia had a hard time looking at her, because she looked so much like her aunt Amelia, who had been her best friend other than Lily. It was at least easier to look at her than at Harry, though, as Amelia was still alive.

"Come in, Susan."

Susan opened the door. She had a particular interest in Petunia, seeing as her aunt had been Petunia's best friend.

"Professor Snape wants to see you."

"Tell him I'm busy at the moment."

"Please, Mrs. Dursely, he said that it was of the utmost importance," Susan continued. "He wants to see you in his office."

Petunia sighed sharply. "Fine, Susan. Give me a moment and I'll be down."

Susan flashed a smile at Petunia and then scuttled out of the room.

Petunia sat on her bed for a long minute. Then, she picked herself up, brushing and smoothing out her robes—when had she last worn robes!—and left her room.

"Make this quick," Petunia said. She was glaring at Snape from across the office, keeping as far away from him as possible.

"I wanted to show you this," he said thickly, "Before you get a different version of it from your nephew."

He put his hand on the rim of a blue bowl.

"Your Penseive, is it?" Petunia sniffed. "And what exactly are you showing me? All the plotting you did to get me in that hallway?"

"If I had plotted something, would I show it to you?" Snape answered steely.

Petunia stared at him sullenly, but didn't answer.

"Just look in it, okay?" he snapped.

"You sound like you're a teenager," Petunia said.

"We were teenagers in this Penseive. Look in it. If you don't like what you see I will not bother you again."

"Deal," Petunia said.

Snape pushed the Penseive over to her as she crossed the room. She looked into it and then at Snape, and back again at the Penseive.

Then she buried her face into it.

"You…you joined the Dark Side to keep me alive?"

Petunia's head was out of the Penseive. She'd suddenly had the need to sit down after she had seen the contents of it. She had taken Snape's seat. He had not argued.

"Yes."

"Why was I never told? Dumbledore, he could've told me, or McGonagall!"

"I swore McGonagall to secrecy, as you see I remembered. And Dumbledore did not know anything of it until I started spying in earnest."

"But why wasn't I told?!"

"Why? Because it was still dangerous for you to know. What if you returned to the wizarding world, and Lucius discovered that I had broken our accord? You would have died."

She was trembling in the seat, barely able to take in this knowledge. For years she had believed that she had been betrayed by Severus, only to discover it had been a plot all along. Bewildered, she asked the first question that came to her head.

"Why? I mean, you must've found out that I'd gotten married. Did you still continue to care about me? Or were you so angry at that fact that you rejoined Dumbledore's side without any heed of my safety?" Her tone was bitter.

"Believe that if you wish, and you sound remarkably like Potter and Weasley in thinking so."

"But if that's the case…why did you remain a spy?"

Snape's expression changed. Hardened features he had carried for 24 years seemed to soften, just slightly. He opened his mouth to answer.

KNOCK

Snape's face went back to its usual lines.

"What?" he yelled harshly.

"It's Tonks," a female voice said.

"Enter," he said.

The door opened and Tonks walked in.

"What does our new Defense teacher want?"

Tonks's voice wavered and a tear was on the verge of spilling out of her eye. "There's...there's been a Death Eater attack. On Muggles. Apollo Lovegood just brought us the news. 106 dead. And, Petunia…" The tear spilled out, followed by another one. "Two of them were your husband and son. Oh, God, I'm so sorry!" She buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

Petunia's face blanched. Her whole body seemed to go limp and droop, like old, forgotten lettuce.

"Vernon…Dudley…"

She slumped over in a dead faint.

Harry couldn't comprehend it. The thought just would not enter and take hold in his brain.

His uncle and his cousin were dead.

How often he had wished for this! To be rid of those single-minded, prejudiced, abusive relatives! But for them to actually be dead! He couldn't believe it.

Tonks had told him the news when he had spotted his aunt being whisked up to the hospital wing by her and Snape. She had stopped and tearfully told him the news before rushing off, this time to her office. And he had been standing in the hallway, not moving, for 5 minutes.

Hermione, who was with him, snapped her fingers in front of his face, trying to get him to answer her.

"Harry? HARRY?"

Harry suddenly shuddered and looked to face her. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay? Do you want to go up and see your aunt?"

"I'm…I'm okay," he said. "No, I want to eat something. My stomach feels like a pit. I'll go up and see her later."

"But, Harry, they were your relatives!"

"Aaron and Belicia are your relatives, too! Would you be too upset if they died?!"

Hermione stiffened. Her expression looked sick.

"Oh, jeez, I'm so sorry, Hermione," Harry apologized quickly, looking stricken.

"Your relatives never killed anyone."

"My relatives abused, neglected, and ridiculed me for nearly 15 years straight. Excuse me if I'm not terribly upset."

Hermione stared at him for a moment. "I'm sorry to sound preachy, Harry, when it comes to something like this. But since I lost my parents, I've realized how important family is. I don't have siblings or cousins; all I've got is my grandmother, and she's near death with grief."

"I'm sorry, Hermes," Harry said, putting his arm around her shoulder and squeezing her. "Look, how about this. I'll head up to see my aunt and then grab something leftover from the kitchen. You can tell Ron and them where I've gone."

"All right," Hermione said. "Do you want me to go up and see you?"

"Nah. I'll go up alone."

"Okay."

He gave her a quick kiss, and then headed for the stairs leading to the hospital wing.

"Remus, I'm so worried."

Remus looked up at Tonks from beneath his eyelashes.

"That Death Eater attack was right near where my parents live. Dad's so ill and Mum's taken up with taking care of him…I just worry that they won't have the strength to keep it up."

"It'll be okay," Remus said, standing up and going to her.

"I wanna believe that so badly…and I try to stay cheerful for all our sakes…but I just feel like I'm gonna lose everything." She sighed. "I miss Sirius. I wish he was still alive."

"I do to." Remus sat down in her chair.

Tonks sat down on her desk, facing him. "He was like a favorite uncle, even though he was really…what do you call your mother's cousin?"

"Second cousin."

"Oh…well, he was like that for me. Did you know that when my grandfather refused to walk Mum down the aisle, because she was marrying a Muggle-born, Sirius did it for her?"

"Tonks, I went to Andy's wedding."

"God, you can call my mother by her nickname! I keep forgetting you're 18 years older than I am. And that's another thing I'm worried about,"

"What, that I'm going to die first? That's not a given, Tonks."

"I know it's not, but it's still a factor. You also have lycanthropy, and that's a big problem. Not with me, Remus, but with your chances of survival. There are ways of getting to a werewolf without using silver bullets."

"You don't have to worry about me, Nymphadora."

"I hate it when you call me "Nymphadora"."

"And I hate it when you worry." He put his hands over hers and leaned up to her face. "Please don't worry about me more than necessary. It's not a given that we'll come out alive. All we can do is try to survive, and protect each other. You're an Auror; you understand that."

"Yes, I understand that."

"So, smile, Nymphadora."

"Only if you stop calling me "Nymphadora"," she laughed.

"Ha. You laughed anyway."

She gave him a kiss, then wrapped her arms around his head and held him to her chest.

Harry stared straight across his aunt's bed to where Snape was.

He was still having a hard time believing that his least favorite teacher and his aunt had once been young lovers, though he had seen it with his own eyes twice over.

"Why was she in your office?"

"She was seeing the Penseive."

"What did she think of it?"

"Not a thing in especial," he answered tartly. "I bid you adieu, Potter." He headed away.

"If you love her so much, why don't you stay with her?" Harry asked, with the exact same tone as Snape.

"I'm not going to repeat myself again after this, Potter. 24 YEARS AGO. Good-bye."

The curtain around the bed snapped shut, and a loud thud was heard as the door was slammed behind Snape.

The thud seemed to jolt something in Petunia, because a small moan escaped from her lips.

"Aunt Petunia?"

"Sev…Severus. Severus! SEVERUS!"

I've seen something rather disturbing on the news, about the South Korean man who was executed. Send your thoughts out to his family as well as Paul Johnson's, and every family regardless of race or religion that has lost someone in the war.

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