Chapter 2: Harry's amazing new firebolt!
"Damn!
Note to self! Get new sex toy!" Harry said, "Poor Hed-WIG, who
wore a toupee, oh dear God, did they run his toupee?" Harry
asked.
"If by 'toupee' you mean that drag queen get up
ensemble you made her wear in between every lesson...it was sold,
auctioned off, to Percy, how strange, he said it was for someone else
but I saw him trying on those cute red high heels this morning!"
said Ron.
"I always knew there was something strange about
your family Ron, your dad's too obsessed with muggles, your mom is
disgustingly obese, Bill and Charlie are the biggest dickheads
because of the penises attached to their foreheads, Percy is a drag
queen, Fred and George look exactly alike for god's sake and Ginny
your slut sister is in love with me, when she has no chance at all
with me, Harry, the ugly RICH nerd...and you...you...have icky red
hair, buck teeth, are dirt poor, your clothes are so five minutes ago
and you always have that blank/constipated look on your face...your
face which is as white as a damn napkin", Harry said.
"Anyways
Harry, can I see your 'FIREBOLT'?" Ron asked.
Harry
Potter Theme Music begins to play after the word 'Firebolt' is
said: Doo Doo Do Do Doo Doo Doo Do!
"No you may not Ron, as
you know, it cost one sickle for a look...and you are poor", Harry
reminded Ron.
"You are so business-minded Harry! Damn! I am
poor!" Ron remembered.