Because an Intermission is Needed
Written by Secera and the FFVII characters
Standard disclaimer applies.
Note of the Authoress: Short intermission chapter while I'm having writer's block, but have fun! And don't forget to review!
***
Secera: All right, everyone! We have a mission!
Reno: We do?
Secera: We need funding to continue this story, and funding is one thing we have a complete lack of. Especially, *glares* since Rufus wouldn't agree to lend us money.
Red: Why do we need money to write?
Secera: Electric bills, Internet fee, snack money, plot holes…
Cloud: Snacks? WE didn't get any snacks!
Secera: Heh heh, forget I said that…anyway, I've come up with a plan to fund our valiant attempt at writing!
Vincent: Key word being 'attempt'.
Secera: Valiant attempt!
Aeris: So? What's the plan?
Secera: Door-to-door materia selling!
Yuffie: NOOOooooooooo!!!…ergg… *face turns kinda greenish*
Tifa: Heh…I can't tell if it's the poisonous snake or the thought of selling materia that's making her sick.
Rufus: Or both.
Vincent: If it's the door-to-door selling that's making her sick, then I agree with her.
Secera: Be positive. Here, we'll draw straws to see which two people will go. *Holds out 15 straws*
All: *select a straw*
Aeris: Ohh…yes! I don't have to go.
Tifa: Me neither.
Reno: No! This is wrong! Unjust! A violation of my rights!
Rufus: I take it you got a short straw? Too bad. *Smirks as he holds up his own long straw and waves it tauntingly in front of Reno's face*
Reno: *gets Rufus in a headlock* Who got the other short straw?
Sephiroth: As the most powerful person here, I am claiming the title of 'Dictator' and thus dictate that we re-draw.
Secera: Nope. *Evil grin* I'm the most powerful person here! And I say we don't re-draw.
Cait Sith: Whatever happened to democracy?
Vincent: It ran away with the plot.
Aeris: *smiles*
Barret: What's with you?
Aeris: I'm enjoying this! *Smiles bigger*
*Time passes*
In a random town…
Reno: *scowls and knocks on the door*
Elderly Lady: *opens door* Hello! Would you boys like some cookies?
Reno: eh…
Sephiroth: No. We're selling materia. *Glares at the world *
Elderly Lady: Oh. Do you have any materia that bake cookies?
Reno: Well, for that you might want this 'fire' materia.
Elderly Lady: Wonderful! I'll get five of them! …On second thought, maybe not. You two boys look suspiciously like those drug dealers who came by last week. *Slams door shut*
Sephiroth: I see her point.
Reno: Hey! I so do not look like a drug dealer! And she was talking about you, too!
Sephiroth: *sigh* Let's just go on to the next house.
Reno: *knocks on door, still muttering about the previous incident*
Man: *opens door* Welcome! Are you the guys they sent to fix the plumbing?
Sephiroth: No.
Reno: But if you buy our materia, you won't even need plumbing!
Man: Really? I'll try it!
Yuffie (in background): NOOOO!!! My materia! *Cid knocks her out*
Sephiroth: *Rings doorbell and Cait Sith's Theme begins to play*
Cait Sith (in background): I have fans!
*No one answers the door*
Sephiroth: *becomes irritated and slashes doorbell with masamune, Cait Sith's Theme stops*
Cait Sith: Hey!
Reno: Looks like no one's home…
Sephiroth: Oh well, let's go.
*Little kid runs up and grabs a materia*
Reno: Hey! Give that back!
Little kid: *summons Leviathan*
Secera: No, can't have any of that! *Uses powers of the Authoress to push Leviathan and the little kid into the pit of nothingness*
Yuffie: Nooo! My materia!
Secera (in plaintive tone): No one wants to buy anything from you two…
Reno and Sephiroth: *glare*
Secera: So we're gonna pick two new people.
Reno and Sephiroth: *uncharacteristic cheering*
Secera: Rufus and…um…Me!
Rufus: NO!! There's no way!!! I'll give you the money, just don't make me do this!!
Secera: Really, you'll give me the money?
Rufus: Yes!
Secera: Promise?
Rufus: Yes!!
Secera: Heh heh, my plan worked!
Rufus: … … …Hey! That was low, Secera, really low.
Vincent: *smirk* You shouldn't be talking.
Tseng: I agree.
Cloud: So now can we write a normal story?
Secera: You can start while I go get snacks.
Cloud: Okay! What should we write about?
Cait Sith: How Rufus was stupid enough to fall for Secera's trap!
Rude: How Secera went so low as to trick another person into giving her money.
Elena: Yeah, she doesn't have many standards, I've noticed.
Secera: I heard that.
Elena: Eep! Heh, thought you were gone…
Aeris: We should write about a beautiful Cetra woman who tragically gives up her life for the planet!
Red: Or a brave warrior cat-thing who fights valiantly for the salvation of the planet!
Tseng: Or an elite organization that manages the 'darker aspects' of a big electric company.
Yuffie: Or a materia hunter!
Cait Sith: Or me!
Secera: Or me!
Vincent: Who would want to know about you?
Secera: Shut up.
Cid: So, where are the snacks?
Secera: I'll tell you if you promise to be really, really, really nice to me!
Cid: Forget it, I'll find 'em on my own!
Secera: Fine! Be that way!
Owari!
Note of the Authoress: Yeah, another short chapter, but I plan to make the future ones longer! Really!! So, who's life story do you want portrayed in the next chapter? Let me know in your review or by e-mailing me at CrystallineFire@hotmail.com! Arigatou!