Because Sephiroth Ate a Materia
Written by Secera and the FFVII characters
Standard disclaimer applies.
Note of the Authoress: Yay! I finally added a new chapter. Enjoy (and don't forget to review)!
***
Cid: You're writing a story about who?
Secera: Sephiroth!
Sephiroth: Say that again. I don't think I heard you correctly…
Aeris: You!
Barret: Why him?
Tifa (whispering): Because Secera is a Sephiroth fangirl.
Secera: Am not.
Sephiroth: While I understand perfectly why you'd want to be my fangirl, I already have plenty and don't need any more. And I don't want a story written about me!
Secera: I'm not a fangirl!
Cid: Why would anyone want to be a fangirl of…him?!
Secera: I'M NOT A FANGIRL!
Yuffie: Whoa! Does that mean that you're really a guy?!
Secera: I'm not a fanboy, either! I'm not a fan-person of any type! I'm just ME!
Sephiroth: Stupid rabid fangirls.
Secera: ARRGGH!!! …Forget it, let's just move on to the story about Sephiroth's life. For this, we'll need a bit of information. Sephiroth, tell us about your life.
Sephiroth: I'm not going to say anything.
Cloud: But what about the story?
Sephiroth: Too bad.
Rude: …we could always just make it up.
Cloud: Good idea! I will begin. *uncharacteristically evil smirk* Once, there was a very small but very unique child who was kept in
Reno: a cage
Tseng: in a laboratory.
Tifa: One day the very small but unique child
Aeris: escaped and wandered around the laboratory
Yuffie: searching for materia!
Cid: He found a test tube full of
Reno: a strange blue liquid
Aeris: and he drank it.
Yuffie: It transformed him into
Sephiroth: *deathglare*
Yuffie: eep! A silver-haired bishounen?
Sephiroth: *nod nod*
Rufus: And so, the silver-haired…bishounen…
Vincent: decided to seek revenge against the abhorrent excuse for a scientist that claimed to be his father.
Rufus: So he joined the prestigious and undefeatable Shin-ra army.
Barret: Corrupt lying cheatin' scum!
Rufus: Prestigious and undefeatable!
Barret: Corrupt!
Sephiroth: Can we stop now? You're massacring my life.
Secera: You're the one who wouldn't cooperate!
Cloud: She's right, you know…
Tseng: Back to the story. The silver-haired bishounen
Cid: who was hungry just like I am now because Secera won't give me any snacks, ate a
Yuffie: materia!
Sephiroth: *sweatdrop*
Red: Is that possible?
Reno: *shrug* I guess anything's possible for him. Must've made 'im sick, though.
Sephiroth: *glare*
Elena: That's why Strife was able to defeat him at the mako reactor.
Sephiroth: *glare*
Rude: Because he was sick from eating a materia?
Sephiroth: *glare*
Rufus: Uh-huh. I wonder what kind of materia it was.
Sephiroth: *glare*
Secera: Ehhh… Let's move on.
Sephiroth: Good idea, for once.
Secera: Thanks, but did you have to say 'for once'?
Sephiroth: Yes, I did.
Vincent: He was defeated at the mako reactor, but the silver-haired bishounen swore never to give up in his quest to wreak vengeance upon
Barret: Shin-ra and spoons!
Vincent: I can understand Shin-ra, but why spoons?
Cloud: Because forks are more useful than spoons.
Yuffie: And because the president of Shin-ra was using a spoon.
Rufus (to Sephiroth): Ah, so that's why you killed the former president. Which reminds me, I never did get around to thanking you for that.
Sephiroth: No problem, just asserting my dominance and demonstrating my skill with masamune-sama. Which, just as a note, *glare* I will gladly demonstrate again if this poor excuse for a story goes on much longer.
Aeris: A bit sensitive, are we? I think that we should keep the story going! This is fun!
Tifa (to Aeris): And they call you the benevolent one…
Aeris: Sorry. Ever since he killed me, I just haven't been able to be very sympathetic with the guy.
Tifa: Yeah, I know what you mean. I've felt the same way since he destroyed Nibelheim.
Cloud: Enough of the heart-to-heart discussion, ladies. Cid's getting a little emotional.
Cid: *sob* It's just so sad!
Secera: Awww…here, you can have a cookie now.
Cid: *snatching cookies* Ah-HA! My plan worked!
Secera: …That's not nice!
Rufus: No worse than what you did to me in the last chapter.
Secera: Yeah, but you're…you!
Rufus: What's that supposed to mean?
Secera: Eh, nothing.
Sephiroth: I take it we're done with the story?
Secera: Fine.
Elena: But that's not all that happened! It's incomplete!
Sephiroth: *smirk* Such a pity.
Secera: Maybe we'll finish some other time.
Aeris: Yeah!
Sephiroth: No!
Reno: Owari!
Secera: You stole my line.
Reno: Too bad.
Note of the Authoress: I really massacred poor Sephy-kun's life, I know. But it was fun ^_^! Anyway, I'll try to update sooner next time, promise! If you review, I'll send you an imaginary cookie! Er…if I can get them back from Cid…
Cid: What? These are just imaginary cookies?! No fair!