Because Cid stole the plot!
Written by Secera and the FFVII characters
Standard disclaimer applies.
Note of the Authoress: Finally! Another chapter! So sorry about the long wait, *cringes* I'll update sooner next time, I promise! Heh, that's what I said last chapter. But this time I mean it! I promise!
On to the story…
*The FFVII cast is assembled, all except for Cid. He ran away at the end of the previous chapter.*
Secera: We have problems.
Rufus: You mean, you have problems. Not me.
Secera: We all have problems! The plot is gone!
Aeris: Now that you mention it, this is getting pretty plotless. So where is it?
Sephiroth: It ran away. Long ago. With characterization and setting and all that good stuff.
Secera: No, you're wrong! Cid stole it!
Sephiroth: *growl* Did I hear you say that I'm wrong? Did I ask your opinion?
Cloud: I thought that Cid stole the cookies, not the plot.
Red: The imaginary cookies.
Cloud: Right, the imaginary cookies.
Secera: Well, you see, the plot was disguised as a cookie.
Tseng: And how did that happen? Abstract things like plots can't suddenly become tangible objects.
Secera: Plot hole.
Cait Sith: How can there be plot holes?! There's no plot!
Secera: There is a plot! It's just not here right now.
Cait Sith: Okay, so how can the plot be disguised as a cookie when they were only imaginary cookies?
Secera: It was an imaginary plot.
Rufus: This…is utterly pointless. And confusing.
Yuffie: And plotless.
Rufus: Well, duh!
Secera: Which is why we need to get the plot back from Cid! Does anyone know where he went?
*Meanwhile, far away, the plot was being chewed on*
Cid: Ack! What the #%@&?! *spit*
Plot: *writhes around on the ground*
Cid: How strange. *Shrugs and goes back to eating the imaginary cookies. You see, Cid can eat imaginary cookies because he's an imaginary character.*
Cid: I'm real, damnit!
*And so, the cast of FFVII wandered around plotlessly in search of Cid. And guess what? They found him!*
Cloud: All the cookies are gone!
Cid: #%&@ right they are!
Secera: What did you do with the plot? *gasp* Did you eat it?!
Cid: If by 'plot' you mean that strange-tasting thing disguised as a cookie *glare* then no, I didn't eat it.
All: *sighs of relief*
Cid: I tossed it into the pit of nothingness from chapter three.
All: Nooo!
Aeris: How can we get it out?
Red: Someone will just have to climb in and get it.
Rufus: I'm not going.
*Everyone stares at feet and tries to look unnoticeable*
Reno: I think Yuffie should go in. She's the only one of us who's been in a pit of nothingness before.
Yuffie: No I haven't!
Tifa: Remember back in chapter one…
Yuffie: That wasn't me! That was…my stunt double!
Barret: Cloud should go in. He's the main character, after all.
Cloud: But I-
Secera: So it's agreed then. Cloud will save the plot for us!
Aeris: That's so sweet of you to volunteer, Cloud!
Tifa: Yeah, you're always so valiant!
Cloud: *sigh* Thanks, I think…
Sephiroth: *pushes him into the pit*
Cloud: AHHH-*CRASH*
Tseng: It would seem that the pit won't let him in.
Pit of Nothingness: Only intelligent beings are allowed in.
Cloud: Hey!
Pit of Nothingness: Just kidding. But you still can't enter.
Cloud: Why not?
Pit of Nothingness: Only people who have entered before can get in now.
Elena: But none of us have ever entered.
Barret: Yuffie's stunt double?
Yuffie: She died when I pushed her off the Highwind.
Vincent:…Hojo would be eligible. I pushed him in during chapter one.
Hojo: *appears out of thin air* Wha-?
Vincent: *smirk* *drags Hojo to the pit of nothingness and drops him in*
Secera: While you're in there, don't forget to retrieve that plot!
Pit of Nothingness: EARRGG! What are you doing to me?!! You can have your stupid plot! Just don't drop any more filth into me!! *Hojo and the plot shoot out of the Pit of Nothingness and land on the ground*
Vincent: I think I'm beginning to like this pit.
Aeris: Awwww…true love!
Vincent: *Hits her over the head with the blunt of Sephiroth's masamune*
Sephiroth: Gimme back my masamune-sama!
Secera: Now that we have the plot back, O-
Reno: Owari!
Secera: Gah! Line stealer! Anyway, we would all-
Tseng: Appreciate it if you could be so kind as to review.
Secera: Conspiracy! You're all conspiring against me!
Elena: Arigatou and sayonara, minna-sans!