Because Duct Tape is Evil!
Written by Secera and the FFVII characters
Disclaimer: I do not own anything accept the plot, if it can be considered that. And myself. And I might have a roll of duct tape somewhere, but the people who make duct tape aren't mine…
Note of the Authoress: Yet again, I present to you another chapter of fluff, insanity, and randomness, short though it may be! Have fun reading and review!
On to the fic…
Secera: Have you ever noticed how all fictional characters become stereotyped and preconceptions are formed that may have little or no proof within the actual story?
Reno: We aren't fictional! I'm REAL, damn it!
Secera: Sure. Anyway, today we're taking a bit of time to discuss what each of us thinks about our stereotypes.
Aeris: I agree!
Secera: Uh-huh. First, we'll start with Reno, who is stereotyped as a drunken, lazy, lecherous, manipulative, hot-headed, but utterly compelling bad guy.
Reno: Take it easy, will 'ya?
Elena: But you are!
Reno: Utterly compelling?
Elena: No!
Secera: Next is Sephiroth, stereotyped as the ultimately evil, powerful, psychotic, egotistical, sadistic, masamune-wielding, arrogant-
Sephiroth: We get the point.
Secera: Don't interrupt me, you-
Rude: *sticks duct tape across Secera's mouth*
Secera: Mmphhf!
Reno: Heh, it really does fix everything! Nice goin', Rude!
Aeris: Just for the record, I'd like to say that I had nothing to do with this.
Tifa: Yeah…she's probably gonna do something really horrible to you guys when she manages to get that stuff off…
Rufus: I'm soooo afraid.
Secera: Mnphhft! *deathglare*
Cid: Ya know, her authoress powers seem to be mostly vocal…
Yuffie: Meaning?
Sephiroth: Now I have complete control of the story! *Evil laughter*
Rufus: No, I do!
Cloud: I do!
Tseng: I should be dictator. I narrated chapter two and we all survived.
Yuffie: But a poisonous snake in chapter two bit me!
Tseng: Okay, never mind then…
Aeris: Can't we all just be equal? *Kawaii puppy dog eyes*
Cloud: Of course we can be equal, Aeris.
Tifa: But shouldn't I be dictator, Cloud?
Cloud: Of course you can be dictator, Tifa.
Aeris: But doesn't that defeat the purpose of us being equal?
Cloud: Of course it does, Aeris.
Tifa: But we-
Cid: Shut the #&@% up! None of us can be dictator until we figure out how to transfer the author powers.
All: *nod thoughtfully*
Sephiroth: Maybe if we kill her…
Secera: Mmmphhf!!! *Claws at duct tape*
Rufus: That might work!
Cloud: But what if that makes the power go away altogether?
Barret: Then we won't have to do these stories anymore!
Aeris: But I like doing these stories!
Everyone but Aeris: *sigh*
Cait Sith: Besides, that might make us stuck in this story forever with no power whatsoever. That would be sorta bad.
Reno: "Sorta bad"? Congratulations on the understatement of the year.
Cait Sith: Thank you.
Secera: *muffled shouting*
Sephiroth: *Hits Secera over the head with the blunt of his masamune*
Secera: *Falls unconscious*
*blackout*
Well, thanks to Sephiroth, we can't continue. Because the story is IN MY HEAD! And we can't very well do anything when I'M UNCONSCIOUS, now can we? Oh, of all the indignities! And…ah wait, I'm supposed to be oblivious, huh?
To be continued…