A/n- Twenty down, God knows how many more to go! Any complaints or suggestions can be sent to me, I might read them... o_O

Disclaimer- Nothing. Nothing at all so just bugger off.

Rating- PG-13 until I say otherwise...

Chapter Keywords- Can't think of anything to say!


Seeing Grey - Part XX - Corners




You are going to go in, are you not little wolf? Shebea asked, nudging him with her head playfully. Remus sighed, and bit his lip.

You came this far, now you must go in. They will find you anyway. Go on. she whimpered, nudging the backs of his legs harder.

Alright alright... I'm going. he muttered, taking a few steps forward.

He had stayed in the cabin for a few days to clear his mind, and sort out the rest of his thoughts properly. With a smile, he realized had he not been very ill he probably would never have come back. Loosing any food he swallowed for three days straight had been enough motivation to send him on way back to the school.

I'll see you later. he said, walking backwards and smiling at the wolf.

I know. Now go on, I'm sure your pack has missed you something awful little wolf.


Every now and then he would pause to lean against a tree, his breaths coming in shallow gasps. In ten minutes time he had made less progress than a cripple might have. Eventually though, he reached the forest edge.

No sooner had the last of the dark tree's faded into the background, two ecstatic figures came bursting out of the Hogwarts doors. With a half smile, Remus staggered forward, his vision blurring slightly. He stayed conscious long enough to see James and Sirius smiling wide, the Marauders Map in hand.

Remus, what took-

That was the last of what he heard, and he crumpled to the ground in a cold heap. James blinked, looked to Sirius, who merely shrugged.

Never a dull moment with him around.



It was a strange sensation to be awake, but unable to move, open your eyes, or voice any thoughts. That was the very thing that happened to Remus when he awoke a while later in a comfortable, private hospital bed. Nurse Ahmand, and a collection of voices he couldn't hear as well, were all conversing nearby.

Dumbledore, we can't admit him to St. Mungo's. she snapped, her irritable voice distinguishable above the others. Dumbledore, for the soft tone must have belonged to him, spoke after quickly.

He's been ill for far too long, and it is not going to get any better while he is here.

Sir, why don't we contact someone from Mungo's to come here? I'm sure there must be someone who would treat him and not tell of it. a male voice said. Remus tried to see what was going on, but his eyes simply would not open. He couldn't move anything for that fact.

I have already tried, to no avail. We only have the option of admitting him as a registered werewolf, or praying for the best here. And unless he regains any normal activity soon we won't have a choice anymore.

Again he tried to move, to tell them he was alright. Aside from a splitting headache and nausea, he was perfectly fine... If only he could tell them!

How long will you give him, before it's critical?

I should say a few hours... He's been getting rapidly worse in the past few days. Nurse Ahmand said with a long sigh.

Days? He had been here for days? What was going on?

Romolus dear, you really should get back to class. another voice said a moment later. You've been here all night, and he isn't showing any signs of recovery.

When he wakes up, I'm gonna be here. he snapped, in such a finalized sort of way no one dared to argue.

Romolus!' Remus tried to yell, but it only rang through his mind. Romolus please, I'm alright! Don't worry...'

He didn't know how, or why, but he certainly didn't question his good fortune. Romolus drifted away from the conversation, and leaned over the bed. Remus felt his breath, and a hand on his face.

he asked quietly as the Professors began to debate how long they should wait and how to handle him once he was registered.

Remus? Can... You can hear me, can't you? he asked again with an amused sort of laugh to his voice.

Headmaster, Nurse... Look! he shouted suddenly, smiling (though Remus could not see it). He heard them gather about, and Dumbledore chuckled to himself.



He's smiling, I'm sure he can hear me! Romolus declared, and Remus tried with all his might to keep smiling, no matter how difficult it was.

Sarah, go fix him something with Aphrodsel in it. a professor said. In a manner of minutes, the Infirmary was in a general hustle, moving about at a wild pace, trying to find or mix this or that. Romolus never left his side.

You'll be fine Remus, nothing's wrong as long as you stay awake. he assured. It was hard, painful even, to stay conscious. His head throbbed with each passing minute, his chest rattled with every breath. He wouldn't relent. He owed it to Romolus to stay.


Three days passed and he managed ot stay awake. He hadn't eaten properly in over a week, slept normally as long, or been able to function right. James, Sirius and Peter were let in that morning, and it helped him just to hear them all laugh. Romolus never left his side.


Come on, drink this down, we might be able to get you mobile again. Nurse Ahmand said that afternoon, helping him to drink a boiling hot, foul-tasting potion. Instantly he felt lighter, a little tingle of fire spreading about his numb body. Romolus let tout a small whoop of happiness as he managed ot flex his fingers.

Well, now we just have to wait it out. the nurse said in a very relieved tone, almost laughing she was so overjoyed. It was strange, having people care so much for him. He had grown up thinking he would die, and Romolus would be the only one to care one way or the other. Now, all around the crowded little private room, people celebrated the fact that his hands were working.

Two days and countless potions later, he was able to speak, and slowly, his vision returned. All he saw were blurry, colourless shapes and shadows, but it was a relief. Sitting up and smiling, almost crying to himself, he held tight to his brothers hand.

They say you'll be alright in three days if it goes well, they brewed a new solution for you. Romolus told him, his black and white smile very noticeable. Remus nodded, overwhelmed. Dumbledore had been talking to him every day, telling him of what would happen when he returned to the school officially.

To the student body, with the exception of Mr. Black and the lot, believe you have been out on a vacation in America. When questioned, you must remain consistent and do not let on about what has happened. he said gently, but in a very firm manner. The Ministry is still after their escaped werewolf. Remus saw the hint of a smile, and nodded. And, if your eyes are working well enough, you have a letter.


Squinting furiously and enlisting the help of a magnifying glass, Remus let out a laugh.

Dead yet? No, obviously not anyway. Just wanted to check that you made it alright, Elise has been nagging me to hell over you. I think she fancies you a bit. Lucky bastard. Anyway, hope you're well and all that chick stuff... Elise is watching over me you know, so I'm supposed to sound sincere. (Insert a very loud ouch here, as she will smack me) Yes, she did... Well, anyway, good luck with the Slytherin girl. And everything, and all that... Sorry, I think the butterbeer I ordered was a bit more, pardon if I sound very illogical and all that... Yes, I'm rambling. I think I'll go. You'd better not be dead. I had to stand out in the woods for an hour to find an owl.

Cheers and Steaks, Caleb

After he had stopped laughing, he turned it over, and saw the very different scrawl from the girl.


Don't mind him, he's an insensitive git. But you knew that, didn't you? Pity you had to be saved by a complete nutter. But I remembered something from another one of Caleb's events, she almost died from some weird illness. Hoping it isn't the same! I have to go, our train is leaving and this is one angry little bird.

Elise


Found some friends in your journey? Romolus asked. Dumbledore had left, and his seat was again shifted to the next person waiting.

Er, along those lines... he said quietly, coughing up a small amount of blood. Romolus was about to call for the nurse, but Remus managed to stop him.

he choked out.

Oh to hell you're fine... he mumbled, shrugging. It was no use to fight with a Lupin, let alone the infamously stubborn Remus.



Confined to his bed for the larger part of a week, he had a long time to think. Romolus used to complain that he thought to much, and it would some day be the end of both of them. To Remus, thinking deeply about life in general was the only escape from the world. When one wasn't supposed to sleep for over one hundred and sixty eight hours, there was plenty of time to think.

Romolus and Shelly were to marry, he was now sure of it. James informed him that Romolus had disappeared three days after he ran off, and came back a few days later. When in doubt, run to the nearest chick.

So with that in mind, he began to plan the rest of his life, as if it would follow such a certain path without alteration. He would stay with Caleb and Elise, and do his best to help them help others. If that didn't work, he'd work at Zonko's down in Hogsmeade so he would have a guaranteed safe shelter for the moons. He would stay there until he had enough money to support himself fully, and then move out to a small village, away from the world.

For three days he was lost in the euphoric bliss of security, until a certain fire-haired Slytherin wandered into the Infirmary.

He didn't say anything as she peered into the room, and slowly made way to the seat. For a while she just sat there, staring at him as though nothing in the world was quite the same.

What, not scared of me now that I can't move seventy percent of my body? Remus asked. Lily didn't react to his words, but she finally did speak.

How are you?

Oh, just spiffing really. I've been told I contracted a virus that attacks the nervous system and I nearly died and all that lovely stuff. Haven't slept or eaten in a week, and at one point a little back I was almost executed by the Ministry. Just fine, and you? he said, fighting back a smile. For some reason, it felt good to be evil in this situation. Pent up aggravation at the world just spilled out so freely in the words of sarcasm.

I... James told me you were really sick.

Yes, he's very good at telling things he shouldn't, now isn't he?

And for no reason at all, once again, Lily bent over and hugged him. He couldn't feel her arms, and he couldn't see how red and teary here bright green eyes were properly. He didn't need colour of feeling to understand.



Again defying any logic, though the world held little, he felt a tear on his cheek. Whether it was his own or Lily's, he never bothered to learn. For quite some time, they just sat there, Lily refusing to let go of Remus for fear he would not return.



Go straight to your dormitory. Nurse Ahmand said as she helped Remus into his robes. Convinced at long last that the Infirmary could offer no good for him, he was being released into the school.

You are not to eat any meals for a day, and if anything goes wrong, you come here immediately. Clear?

Gotcha. Can I go now?

Take one of these twice a day, in the morning and at night. They'll keep you from sleeping and make you less hungry.

Got it. Now can I please leave?

You need to make sure that you don't-

I know. Remus snapped. Can I go? Please?



Hey, have fun in New York? Alex asked as he crawled through the portal with difficulty, as he hadn't been able to use his legs in quite a while.

It was great. he lied, walking unsteadily to the spiral staircase, pulling himself up it.

When's our next class?

It's Friday afternoon. Alex looked at him oddly, raising an eyebrow.

Right... Forgot. What about Quidditch?



Sorry... Bad memory. he mumbled, walking into the almost unfamiliar dorm and finding his bed. He lay down, closing his eyes, wishing he could sleep but knowing it was too dangerous. After a few moments of relishing his freedom, he decided to write back to Caleb.

Er... Maybe not. he mumbled, fumbling horribly just to hold a quill straight. After some practice, he managed to get a few short sentences scratched out on paper.


Hey, I'm alright now, not to worry. They locked me up in the hospital wing for a while. The nutters won't let me eat! It's been a while since I have. Sorry if you can't read my writing, can't control my hands too well. Hope everything is alright there, don't get caught this time.

Remus


At dinner time, as he wasn't allowed to eat, he went to the owlry and mailed the letter. Remus mentally was torn between being glad to be back, and guilt.

I can't keep running away from all my problems. he muttered to no one. Kicking at a stray crumpled paper ball in the hallways, he walked along, one hand against the stone wall for support.

I'm sick of having to mess everyone else's lives up just because I make so many mistakes.

Talking to yourself again Lupin? A lunatic in more than one way.

He would have liked to kick him then, but he didn't trust his strength to do such. Instead, he gave a sarcastic sort of smile to the Slytherin.

So where did you go? I don't buy that bullshit about America.

Remus ignored him, and decided to take a shortcut to the Gryffindor tower.

For Christ's sake, I'm not trying to be snide.

You're failing. Miserably, I might add.

Well Jesus... Pardon for attempting to be civil. Snape muttered with a roll of his eyes.

And why would you try to be nice? Remus asked, turning around and walking backwards, hand off the wall.

Your life is obviously a load of shit, all things considered.

You know nothing about me. Remus faltered, and had to stop for a moment to catch his balance.

I know more than I let on Remus. he said quietly, for the first time using his first name.

Whatever... I don't understand you, and I never will. Yes my life has been going less than perfect right now but it's improving. So kindly bugger off. he snapped, vision flaring out for a moment. Leaning against the wall, he took in a few breaths, waiting for the headache to rush by.

Are you alright?

Never ask me if I'm alright. I'll either lie or end up killing you.

Alright then... I'll rephrase. Are you going to make it back to your dorm without keeling over dead? There was an obvious hint of a smile, though for once, it wasn't satire. It was just innocent amusement, something that looked horribly wrong on his face.



Heal yourself then, temporarily. The Infirmary is too far away-

I don't have a wand. he realized, cursing to himself. It had been forgotten with everything else going on. And he didn't have money either. How could he try to learn magic without a wand? He leaned up on the wall, and slowly slid to the ground, his eyes not working again.

Can you go find my brother, please?

A Slytherin doing a decent favour for a Gryffindor was a rare thing, but Snape did it without question.



Remus mumbled in a half-voice as his brother deposited him in his bed.

Not a problem. Are you sure you're-

he said with a yawn. No, not fine... I lost my wand, not that it was much good anyway, broken and all... We can't afford another.

Don't worry about that right now, all things considered, we have a lot more important manners on our hands. Romolus said as he made himself busy fixing up the room.

he said in a half-voice. Romolus heard him.

No what?

No, we' don't have anything. I do. You have to stop being my father, alright? I can take care of myself, and I have a place to live now. Remus said importantly. Go stay with Shelly, and stop worrying about me. You have to live your life a little.

Can't do that. You're my brother, and I'm always gonna be there for you. Hands down.



Well... You should be alright now... Eat lightly and don't sleep for more than four hours, to be safe. Nurse Ahmand said with an approving sort of nod, smiling. Free to go. And no Quidditch! she called as he shut the door, pretending to not hear the last bit.

Swear to Merlin that boy is gonna kill himself. she muttered with a laugh.


he muttered, remembering halfway down to the dorm that he didn't have a broom anymore. More money wasted...

Mr. Lupin?

Yes Professor? he asked apprehensively as McGonnagal popped her head out the door.

We collected some relief funds form the Ministry, for the damage to your broom and wand. Some creative lying, I might say, but we got the money... Remus noticed she was smiling, rather tightly, but she was very amused by the fact that they had managed to rip the Ministry off of quite a few Galleons.

T-Thank you.

Nurse Ahmand will be escorting you down to Diagon Alley this afternoon to get your things. Be in the Great Hall at two, if you will.

Thank you.



I think things may be getting better now. Or at least they seem that way. This time, I'll make sure the cycle breaks. I'm not going to let things be ruined again, for the sake of everyone.



A/n- Well, that was a one-day chapter! Wow! Hope you enjoyed. All comments, complaints, and tips can be sent to AlyssaC7@aol.com as walways. :) Next one comming soon!

Iggie