A/n- Well, another one...

Disclaimer- La la la la la, I own nothing blah...

Rating- PG-13 for language and possible violence

Chapter Keyword- Oh, he's in for it now, boys and girls. ::insert devilish grin here::



Seeing Grey - Part XXXII - Correlation



Lily, you asleep? he asked, turning his head and looking at her with a smile. She had her eyes shut, a smile on her face, and was hugging at his arm for security.

she mumbled, green eyes opening a bit.

We should get back up to the school. she realized.

Yeah, James might-

James might what?

Remus shut his eyes. It had to be a dream, another one of his nightmares... The very unpleasant voice was just a little figment of his overactive imagination.

Rolling over and looking up, he found himself to be painfully wrong.

Ahh, le' go le' go le' go! Remus whined, being pulled up by his one weak spot. Ears were so inconvenient at times, he mused.

And what the hell were you two doing? he snapped, eyes burning behind his glasses.

Lily said from the ground, yawning and stretching her arms deftly.

For the love of God, he's nearly naked, and you're bloody not in a dress anymore! he pointed out, finger in the direction of a clump of discarded clothes. That sure as hell doesn't look like nothing!

Remus wriggled free of his captor, and helped Lily to her feet.

You're overreacting. he said simply, trying to avoid a fight.

Overreacting? Overreacting? he stammered, beyond any logical anger. You're both out in the dead of night, almost nude for the love of God, and you're soaking wet! I sure as hell don't think I'm just being overreactive!

James, knock it off. You're making a big deal out of nothing. Lily scolded, wringing out her fiery hair.

he nearly screamed, looking as though he was about to rip his hair out. You're out here... SNOGGING! You, and... And Remus! James yelled. I mean, that's hardly nothing! You! With REMUS!

I think you've established the fact that I'm here with Remus. Lily said dryly, picking up her damp dress. And if you haven't noticed, I'm a big girl James, I think I can handle my own affairs.

Remus snorted, and regretted it immediately. James, not daring to yell at whom he was still annoyingly in love with anymore, recoiled upon him.

Hey, don't look at me! he said, trying to find his pants.

James, cut it out, alright? Lily snapped. I can bloody date whoever I want.

Run.'

For once taking advice of his own thoughts, Remus grabbed his trousers, and bolted as quickly as he could. But the speed of a werewolf proved to be no match for a love-sick Gryffindor, as he felt himself fall to the ground, smacking his head to a rock.

James! Get off of him! Lily yelled, running up after the pair.

Just wake up alright? You two aren't even going out anymore! Remus said in daze, eyes fighting to refocus. Not in time though to dodge a sharp blow to his jaw. Already tasting the blood, he pushed forward, and pinned James to the ground.

You gonna knock it off? he asked seriously.

What, you're head? James snapped as he countered, flipping backwards and taking his enemy with him.

Both of you, cut it out! Lily yelled.

Jesus Christ James... Gr-Dammit! Grow up already! he said between hits.

For the better of ten minutes the rolled about on the ground, Remus trying to keep himself in once piece, James trying to knock him into many. Neither noticed that Sirius had joined the party.

Well there's something you don't see everyday. A soggy werewolf in boxers getting his ass kicked by an angry orphan. Odd. he commented with amusement. Lily rolled her eyes, and tried to get them to stop, to no avail.

He's really pissed, isn't he? Sirius asked, crossing his arms. By the smirk on his face it was very clear that he was entertained by the fight, though Lily did not share this philosophy.

James, stop it right now! He's gonna kill you if you piss him off! she snapped.

Not if I get to him first. was the snide reply, muffled by Remus' fist.

Oh, and Moony enters the fight! Sirius said in delight. Lily hit him on the head, and continued to yell at the boys.

Get off of me dammit! Remus yelled, trying to push him off. I'm not going to fight you!

That's too bad, the feeling isn't mutual.


Sirius, do something! If James keeps it up he's gonna get nailed, and if he doesn't stop, Remus will end up in the hospital wing!

What, and ruin a good fight like this? What're you, nuts?

Lily slapped him across the face, and snarled angrily.

Five more minutes? he pleaded. OUCH! Fine, alright... Not like I can do anything, I don't have my wand...



Teach you to go out an snog with my girlfriend, grimy little beast. James snapped, landing a blow right to where Remus had been shot twice, at the ribs. He took in a gasp of air, eyes going blank for a moment. It sparked some defense instinct in the back of his wolfen mind, and in a flash, James was trying to save his own life.

REMUS! Knock it OFF! Lily yelled. Dammit Sirius, do something before either of them get killed!

Human anger combined with wolfen instinct was a bad mix for James. There was no small voice at the back of Remus' mind screaming to stop, on the contrary, it was yelling out in hate. Another blow to the face, James was sent spiraling backwards through the grass, trying desperately to grab something.

James managed one hit to his foes face, sending him back a good distance. Head crashing against a rock for the second time, Remus blacked out, hands falling to his side.

Oh God... James muttered, blinking back to reality.

Someone... Go get Madame Pomfrey. he stammered, though neither of his friends moved.

he repeated, and Sirius finally dashed off.



Remus mumbled, trying to sit up. The moment he stirred, he was enveloped in a painful hug until Lily was pulled back.

Are you alright? James asked quietly.

Where the hell am I? he asked, eyes open, but no sight coming through. Lily frowned in concern, and ran off to find the nurse.

Hospital wing. James answered after a moment. It's tomorrow, if you care. he added.

And where're my robes?

Lily put you up in some this morning.

he grumbled, slowly falling back to the pillow, though the impact felt like a brick had been swung at his head. He put a hand up to rub, and found his entire top to be wrapped up tightly.

Kind of bled... A lot... Madame Pomfrey was freaking out for a while, with you being sick and stuff all the time. James said quietly, voice unusually rash.

Why can't I see anything? Remus asked after several minutes of blinking and rubbing with his free arm. The other seemed to be braced in a rather itchy contraption.

I don't know. If it makes you feel any better, you swelled the entire left side of my face. he heard James say.

I did? But... I don't even remember hitting you again. ...grimy beast. Shit.'

Remus closed his sightless eyes, trying to recall the latter of the evening, drawing up a blank. Please God, don't tell me I...'

You went nuts... I don't blame you... I kind of lost it. he mumbled, and Remus heard him shift about uncomfortably.

he finally said.

Eh, it's alright. Remus lied, anger rising in his bruised face. Beast...

No, it isn't. I kind of, well, I really messed you up. You smashed your head against a rock and all... I flipped out.

Look, don't worry about it. Chicks mess with the mind. Remus said with a forced grin. You can't be held accountable for what happens then.

He heard a small laugh, and imagined that he was smiling, though he couldn't be sure. A moment later, Madame Pomfrey kicked him and Lily out of the wing, and made herself busy with Remus.

Can you see at all? she asked first off, handing him a steamy potion.



As expected... Not to worry, I'll have you fixed up in no time at all... So how did you manage to smash your head against a rock? Potter said something about a wolf, he wasn't making any sense at the time.

Remus bit his lip despite how much it hurt to move, and shrugged.

Well whatever you did, you'd best stop. You spend half your year in this wing! I'm getting rather sick of treating all your mishaps...


James said stiffly at dinner, sporting a slightly healed eye and a cut lip. Sirius, across the table, was grinning like a mad man.

So, back and functional I presume?

One hell of a headache, but I'm fine otherwise. he said monotonously, trying to drop the subject. James insisted on expressing his concern, and spent the better of a half hour apologizing many times through.

James, just shove off. Remus finally snapped, slurping down the last remains of his pudding. I told you, chicks mess with the mind. I mean, hell... I was acting romantic of all things, unconsciously. So I can forgive you of a few punches... Besides, you don't hit too hard.

Hey, I- James said, but laughed along with his friends

So I'm not match for the Great Moony. he said, giving a mock humble bow, grinning ear to swollen ear.

And I've met a fair foe in the form of one jealous Gryffindor. Keep it down, don't get mad.' his mind warned. Beast....

Hey, I wasn't... Alright, I am... Screw, I have better chances picking her up once you two are through, might as well not piss her off now. James figured as he poked the last of his meal.

Conspiring little devil, isn't he? Sirius commented.

Yes, but his plan has a flaw.



It's solely dependent on the fact that Lily's going to get sick of me.

Well, she was more than a bit freaked out by last night...





Little wolf, what is troubling you? Shebea asked, nudging her muzzle under Remus arm and making herself comfortable in his lap.



What do you mean by that?

Everything I ever get, any privilege, inevitably is torn away from me for reasons I'm not at fault for. It isn't fair. he snapped, lying down uneasily. He ran a hand through his messy hair, annoyed with existence.

Things cannot be so bad. You have health, and food and shelter. You have a wonderful pack, and kin that care for you very much. And surely, how can the alpha feel so deprived?

I'm far from the alpha male, hell, sometimes I'm only a step-up from Peter... He's the lowest.

But you are strongest, are you not? And, with all respect, you are far from deformed in any such way, nor are you cruel. Quite compassionate... And you seemed to have found a very attractive mate... That would grant you alpha status by any terms.

You just don't understand how humans behave... It doesn't matter that I can win a fight against anyone, or that I care about things more than most. In my pack, James and Sirius run the show... James kind of looks down on me, because of the curse...

Two alpha males? I do not see how that would run over well... I mean, what about mating rights?

Remus smiled, and shook his head slightly.

Sirius runs between, erm, beta's, on a daily basis. And just to clear something up for you, for future reference, we date. Dating has nothing to do with mating and all, not for a long time anyway. he laughed.

I do not see what advantage there is to that. And by all means, she said, licking his chin playfully. You seem quite depressed over females, so there must be a flaw in your ways.

My life is a flaw... All because of this wretched curse. he mumble. Shebea licked him again, smiling in a canine fashion, much like Sirius would would.

Do not worry little wolf, things will work out in the end. You could always join my pack, our male is very elderly.

Uh, thanks for the offer Shebea, but I'll have to decline at the moment. he laughed.

You are unhappy with this life, are you not? she blinked.

You're a long way from understanding how people work... Just take my word for this.

And you my friend, your kind is a long way from learning how to be productive. Silly creatures...

Remus? Reeee-muus!

Shebea set her ears back, and quickly moved back to the bush as she picked up the sound.

I do not like that one. I cannot smell him ahead of time. she growled, running off into the night. Remus chuckled to himself as Sirius tripped through the forest, burrs clinging to his hair and robes.

How the hell do you manage to run off like that? Took me half the bloody hour to track you down. he panted, clutching at his side.

Fine-tuned the nose there, did you?

I don't know... Anyway, we've got a huge wager going with the Ravenclaw's on the Quidditch Finals. If we loose this, James is gonna be out of his allowance for the next year!

And I come into this how? he asked, getting to his feet.

Well, we need some plays.

You came all the way out here to tell me I needed to formulate a few Quidditch plays?

That, and the fact that the entire House of Ravenclaw is waiting for you in a chess duel. he smirked. James got a bit hotheaded and challenged them, well, you to them, but...

Remind me again why I'm friends with you, as I seemed to have forgotten.





Remus rolled his eyes at the arrogant Ravenclaw, and went back to the task at hand. Going from his twenty-percent deal he had with Sirius, he had roughly his entire life savings on the line. The small, semi-friendly chess match was turning out to be a headache and then some for the werewolf, who was well out of practice. Painfully, Remus realized the last match he had played had been against Elise.

Shaking off the emotional breakdown, he moved his knight, and kept himself in the game. Sirius, who had just now learned what moved where, seemed to like the fact that his money wasn't lost yet.


This is impossible, you know that? I'm about ready to give up. Elise mumbled, hand lurking over her cornered king.

Nothing's impossible until it's over. Remus said, biting his lip. In fact, you can beat me right now. Easily.

That doesn't help, considering I have eleven pieces left and the majority of them still have somewhere to move. The fact that I suck at chess also puts me at a disadvantage.

I gave you a handicap, I played without my queen. Come on, you can beat me. You know the move, you just have to find it.

She closed her eyes, nodded her head to herself, and picked up her only knight with a nervous grin. Remus smiled as his king was tipped aside, defeated.

I told you. Nothing is impossible until its over.


 Remus said monotonously, the colour draining from his face. He waited as the boy cursed, and ruined the only escape there was.

He didn't hear the small crowd cheering, or Sirius yelling about being filthy rich. In a dream, Remus only heard the echoing fall of the white king, rolling on its square in defeat. His own stood proud, surrounded, triumphant.

Black.

Alone.

There's no triumph in victory. he muttered, running off from his fanatic House mates.


Moony, are you in there? Sirius asked, the bathroom door squeaking open. Hey, I can see your shower running, I know you're here. Come out and join the chaos! James lit a few fireworks and dungbombs and the Ravenclaw's are going nuts on us, it's jolly fun! he called over the ripple of the shower. With no response, he tapped on the side of the shower stall, and looked under.

Come on out. he asked, frowning. Don't know what the bloody's wrong now but a little bit of party can do some good. Sirius tried, sniffing the air to make sure he had the right person. He smiled in amusement of his own talent, leaning back.

Seriously, what's bothering you? You won the match if you hadn't noticed. Remember, you were black, he was white. You won.

Go away. Remus finally said, turning the water dials for more heat. After ignoring everything Sirius said for the better of five minutes, he succeeded in driving him off, and was alone with his thoughts.

Everything's my fault. he told himself, sliding down to the floor. His fingers traced over his hairline, along the tiny white blur his father caused.

Killed my own father. he grumbled. Mum died because of me. Romolus had a shitty life on the run because of me... Some random idiot lost his life because I lost my temper. Elise died because I was too concerned about my self.

He shut his eyes, thoughts turning into demons, screaming their rage.

I could have saved her... Instead I saved myself. he said pathetically, water dripping down his face that had nothing to do with the shower. I don't deserve to be alive. Everyone would be better off if I was dead.

That isn't true.

Half-startled back to reality, a puffy-eyes Remus shook his head.

Go away.

Oh to hell Moony, and wake up. Sirius barked, hitting his fist against the side of the shower. No one wants you dead, save for a few assholes at the Ministry and some Slytherins. And maybe James, but I can tell the feeling is the same on your side. he said loudly, pausing to think. I mean, dammit Moony, you're my best friend. James aside anyway... You're the only one I can have a semi-intelligent conversation with, you're the brains of the outfit. And you keep me under control, I'd have been expelled ages ago if you weren't around. Sirius said with a short laugh. So don't even say no one wants you around. If everyone in this school abandoned you, I'd still stick with you. I'll always stick with you, no matter what, alright? We're a pack, we have to stay together...

Remus shut his eyes, not wanting to hear any of it.

So just shut the hell up about blaming yourself. Like you say, it's gone, it's done. No worries over what can't be changed, right? he said, starting to sound a lot like Romolus. I mean, honestly, there is no way things are as bad as your warped little mind perceives them to be.

I've got nothing left in life.

Oh bloody eff you've got nothing! So I don't count for shit now? he snapped angrily, slightly hurt. I'm just a pile of dung under your shoe? Dammit Moony, you've got friends, good ones. Screw Peter, he can go get himself eaten by a pregnant Norwegian Ridgeback for all I care. Me, and James and Lily. Especially Lily.

She's afraid of me, terrified... Scared of me more than those bastards that hurt her.

But she didn't do anything about it Moony, did you realize that? Lily's afraid of the wolf, not you. She cares about you. Me and James care about you, though the brainless git doesn't exactly show it much. he said. You know what? You kind of scare me sometimes, you're just so uptight. Loosen up, have some fun... Marauders aren't supposed to be depressed.

Remus turned the gold dial, and the water flow stopped. Donning a fluffy red towel, he stepped out, and looked Sirius in the eye.

You've got a lot running in that head of yours, and someday I really hope you tell me. Until then, shut up and let's go bomb some nerds. Sirius answered, somehow managing to sound serious and look stern.

With a small smile and roll of his eyes, Remus hurriedly changed, and was dragged back to the Ravenclaw tower, pockets bulging with Dungbombs.



Hey James, come here for a minute. Remus said casually during the bomb-fest. The grinning Gryffindor followed him into the hall, but the moment he stepped through the door, he was knocked against the wall.

I deserved that. James muttered, smiling through his bleeding lip. All wolfen angers gone, Remus grinned back, and together they joined the party, incident forgotten.



A/n- Well, quite enough of that, aye? I didn't like this one too much, but eh, you tell me. Next one will be up soon. Cheers! Slightly good news too, I finished part 34, so this will keep going for now.

^.~

Iggie