DISCLAIMER: I luv all reviewers. I loved the Golden Compass, Subtle Knife, and Amber Spyglass books, after my friend got me hooked on them. Songfics are always better if you read them while listening to the song. So please, if you have this song on a CD, or downloaded somewhere, listen to it while you read. It really helps with the atmosphere of the words. In this case the song is Sarah McLachlan's I Will Remember You
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As she walked through the city of Oxford, her thoughts were constantly flicking to a boy she had known once.
Lyra Belacqua, renamed Silvertongue had never forgotten William Parry, her first and only love. It had been nearly six years since they had parted ways.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Time had been kind and generous with Lyra. She had grown from a short fierce girl to a tall mature woman. She wasn't a beauty, but her eyes had always held a spark, that drew attention.
He blonde hair had grown longer, and now hung in waves to her waist. It swayed in its braid as she ambled slowly to the Botanical Gardens of Oxford.
It was five to twelve on Midsummer Day, and she was her to fulfill a promise she had made six years before.
She could still remember Will, as if it were yesterday that they had last seen each other. She could picture every feature of his face as he kissed her and held her one last time.
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
He wouldn't remember her, she thought sadly. When they had met, she had been simply a young girl, no one that someone like him would fall in love with.
He was perfect in every way imaginable, and he would probably have a beautiful girlfriend, and would be so deeply in love with her that he wouldn't even consider the poor helpless girl who loved him.
She sat softly on a stone bench, determined not to cry at the memories of another.
Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
At the same time a lonely young man walked along the paths of another garden. He felt as close to his love as he could get, and yet as far away from her as possible at the same time.
Will Parry sat down on a stone bench, closing his eyes, and picturing his beloved Lyra.
He could remember everything about her. How the sun shone on her hair, making it look like spun gold. How the sound of her laughter always made him forget the troubles of the situation.
He placed a hand on his cheek, remembering the soft feeling of her tear, as he shut her out of his world and life forever.
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one
He shook himself gently. Who was he trying to fool? She was probably gone. She would be in love with a handsome man who could give her everything she could ever want. She wouldn't even give a second thought to the boy who had loved her without stopping for six years.
He paused. He thought about how she had told him to move on. To love and get married, and to never compare anyone to her.
As much as he hated to admit it to himself, he had broken a promise. He had never searched for any other love. Many chances had come up. Chances to forget about the pain of losing someone, but he had never taken them.
He sat their remembering her words, and her actions.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Lyra sighed. She missed him terribly, and wanted so badly just to see him again, nothing more.
She would have killed herself then and there, if she knew that Will was waiting for her in the world of the Dead. She could at least see him, be with him, talk to him, feel him next to her.
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
It tore him up inside to think that she might love anyone else. That she might marry someone else.
He would have traded anything and everything he owned simply to know that she had come, that some part of her still cared for him.
He missed her so much that it hurt him inside to think of her not coming.
I'm so tired but I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
She lay back on the stone bench and stared up into the clear blue sky.
She remembered the feeling that had come over her as she watched him close the gate to her world, shutting her out permanently. It had hurt her as much as it had for her to sail away without her beloved daemon, who was now curled peacefully on her chest.
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard
Kirjava lay down next to him as he lay back on the cold bench, gazing up into a beautiful blue sky, not knowing that his beloved was doing the same thing in her world.
His daemon seemed to give him comfort. Having someone, anyone to talk to, helped him get through every day he had to spend without Lyra.
But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
A tear coursed slowly down her cheek. She could remember exactly what it had felt like to be torn away from her Pantalaimon. How it had felt to flee to the world of the Dead, knowing that her daemon was still standing on the other shore.
It had been a similar feeling for her when Will left her cold. She knew that a piece of her heart had been torn out and left in another world on that day, but unlike with Pan, she would never get that part of her back. it was sealed away behind gates that she knew were there, but that she couldn't see or feel.
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
It drove him crazy that her world seemed to be right next to him, that he was sitting on the same bench as she hopefully was, and yet they were separated by invisible miles.
He could feel the barriers, the walls that were between his world and hers. He couldn't feel them physically, but he knew that they were there, and he could sense them, feeling them in his heart.
He felt as though a piece of his heart, his spirit was waiting just on the other side of the wall, within arm's reach, and yet immesurably far away at the same time.
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
She lay there for the better part of her appointed hour, hoping desperately that Will still came. That he still loved her.
No, she thought. He's probably filled his heart with someone else. That's exactly what we told each other to do. I broke my promise to him.
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light
Will too was feeling the same thing. He was torn in two. It tore him that he was breaking a promise by clinging to something in the past that could never be.
It also broke his heart again to fall in love with someone else. It felt as though he was betraying her memory.
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Lyra had cried herself out. She sat up and looked at Pan. She knew that she had to move on.
It broke her heart to do so, but she knew that it was what Will would have wanted. She knew that she should let go of her death grip on the past.
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Will sat up and looked at a sleeping Kirjava. He had to continue with his life, if not for Lyra, than for his mother, and his departed father.
He knew in his heart that no one could ever take the place of the one he loved with his whole heart, but he had made a promise to her, and would die before breaking it.
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Lyra stood up. Her hour was up, and she had to get back. She wished that she could stay sitting on the bench forever. It was at least closer to Will.
She straightened. She would move on, but she would never forget the one who had stolen her love. She wouldn't cry for his memory, but rather find joy in having met and loved him.
"I'll always remember you, William Parry."
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
He stood up slowly. The hour was up, and he had to return to his still ailing mother.
He would move on. Although Lyra had taken most of his heart away from him, he knew that there was a small part still there to keep living on.
He would not dwell on the past, and the memories of his blonde love. Nor would he ever forget she who he had fallen for.
"I'll always remember you, Lyra Silvertongue."
Weep not for the memories
"I'll love you forever."
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I love Sarah McLachlan. She is an amazing singer, and she's Canadian, like me. All of my readers should listen to her songs. You'll love them, I promise.
Anyways, thanx for reading.
luv ya!