A/n- More depressing enjoyment for ya.

Disclaimer- Too angry to bother.

Rating- You know by now.

Chapter Keywords- Canon Willow incident, lots of Sirius action (no pun intended).


Seeing Grey - Part XLII - Peragro




POTTER! BLACK!

Laughing to themselves, the two dashed off down a hallway, leaving Remus and Peter to snigger under the Invisibility Cloak. Filch ran after the pair, bellowing madly, face scrunched up in an angry ball.

You would think he'd have given up after so long. Peter muttered with a smile as they watch their companions disappear into a tunnel, Filch running past them.

Right-out prat if you ask me. Remus commented lazily. With another wave of attacks within Ministry departments, the Marauders had declared it their personal mission to keep the castle in good humour.


By the start of October, a morning down poor inside the Great Hall, a chain explosion in the dungeons during testing, some mysterious Charm spreading through the Slytherins that resulted in multi-coloured hair, and a plague of Dungbombs had already been unleashed. With Remus' access to the Restricted Section, James and Sirius were creating more clever pranks to pull by the day. James had already compiled a list of Slytherin torture that could easily last them until the holidays.


So Remus, you up for Quidditch? Sirius asked in mid-October over breakfast.

After a moment of thought, he shrugged. I'm not sure really... It's difficult for me to run in the halls and all, so physically I shouldn't really play. But dammit, I want to kill the Snakes this year. he replied, forgetting Lily was once again sitting with them. Sirius grinned, and nodded his head approvingly.

Very good. The reserve team has nothing to offer and once again we're at a lost for Keeper, so we definitely need you this year, more than ever.

If I can't keep my breath during practice, I'm not going to try the matches.

Come on Moony, James interrupted, frowning. You're the only one in our class who can take down Horder on your own. I'd say you're physically well enough to beat around a few Quaffles.

That's different... I tap a different power source for combat. Remus said through his cereal. That's the wolf. It's completely-

And if you didn't notice, he about keels over dead after Defense. Lily interrupted. Which you didn't, since all you do is stare at Professor Horder. she said, glaring obviously at James. He smiled guiltily, half-shrugging.

Well, she is-

Don't you dare finish that sentence James Potter. Lily warned.



And you know where you went wrong?

Kept my left side unguarded while I attacked. Remus mumbled. Ms. Horder took her wand away from his throat, nodding her head to the class.

she said as he struggled to his feet. Never leave yourself unguarded.

As he was dismissed to the back of the classroom, Remus silently thanked God he was still able to move at all. James and Sirius put a hand apiece on his shoulders, noticing now that he was undergoing a quiet battle to keep up appearances.

Hey, you last longer than the rest of us. Alex said from his standing, cutting back in line so as to avoid having a turn.

Avery, up here, now. Horder said sweetly, motioning him over. With a groan, he dragged his feet along to the center of the cleared-out room.

Y'know, she goes pretty hard on Alex. Sirius observed.

Probably because his brother is involved in things he shouldn't be.

Remus let out a sigh as once again Snape butted in to their conversation.

What do you mean?

Come now Potter, you can't be so blind as to not notice all the things happening in our school. You're midnight romps are not unique in happening.

Bug off Snape. Sirius snapped.

Far be it from me to pull you from your perfect little world Black. Just keep in mind that someday you'll wake up and reality will have smacked you down.


Moony, please! You have to believe me. I would never-

Get him out of here.

Moony, no! You don't understand! Please, just listen-Moony you can't let them!

How... How could you?

Get in there Black, and shut up.


You dizzy or something? Sirius asked. Shaking his head, Remus sighed and wished away his silly little dreams.

No, I'm fine.



Can you guys wait outside or something? Remus mumbled, rubbing his head. Peter crept out through the door, quite thankful to be gone. The transformations scared the hell out of him usually, he was too disgusted to remain in the same room. But as usual, Sirius stayed behind a moment.

This is the Luna Bonae Indolis, isn't it? he asked, eyes narrowed. With a slight nod, Remus muttered a yes, and curled himself up on the tattered bed.

I thought so... Me and James were checking some lunar charts in the Restricted Section. he mused, sitting down against the door. I had no idea each moon was different for you.

Every single one has a different affect.

Yeah, that's what the books said.

Then you know that this time, I'll have no control over myself, at all? he said, looking up. Already his eyes were shadowed, even though the last remains of the sunlight kept the room dimly lit. Sirius nodded his head, smiling.

James is pissed he couldn't come, but we needed him to cover. I'll bet twenty Galleons Pete goes off squealing tonight.

For good reason... The last time Bonae Indolis was in alignment I killed someone.

Despite everything Remus expected, his friend did not flinch, or even turn away. He kept smiling slightly, arms crossed over his chest.

I'll just be sure to keep a close watch on you... Dumbledore was insane, thinking this Shack could hold you up. he said thoughtfully, eyeing the thin walls. Remember last year when we didn't get down early enough?

Laughing to himself, Remus grinned. I nearly broke a hole in the side of this place trying to get out. After the memories died away, Remus hung his head, eyes closed. Taking the signal, the black dog soon replaced where Sirius once stood.

I'll be right outside, so howl when you're done. he barked playfully, tail wagging a mile a minute.



Oh bloody hell. Remus groaned. Two sets of hands helped him sit upright, leaning him against the splintering walls of the Shrieking Shack.

What time is it? he grumbled, tasting warm blood in his mouth. One of the Marauders handed him his wand, which he quickly put to use.

Five seventeen. he heard James inform. You still have a while before Pomfrey comes down, Davey got whacked by the Whomping Willow last night.

With a sinking feeling in his gut, he finally opened his eyes, and saw that both James and Sirius were fairly roughed up.

So what happened?

Well, to sum it up fairly quickly, you went nuts. James commented. You kept sprinting off, and it was hell keeping you under control. I couldn't come down until midnight, no one went to bed early... We ended up having Peter keep a lookout from a tree, and we corralled you whenever you bolted. he said.

But it was pretty difficult, more than I thought. Davey Gudgeon and his friends came down late and were drunk as hell as far as I could tell. They kept trying to run in and touch the Willow trunk, but Davies got smacked in the head really hard. We were back in the brush keeping you down when it happened...

Then one of the guys ran back to the school to get help. Figured it'd be a really bad idea if we got caught, so me and Padfoot drove you into the woods pretty deep. James added.

But once again you sprinted, and Pete never saw which way you went.

Oh God... Remus grumbled, looking down at his feet. I... I didn't, you know... Sirius and James looked at each other for a moment, biting their lips.

You ran off and we couldn't catch you-

But you didn't bite anyone. Sirius assured. Nah, Prongs caught you right before you went into the clearing. Pomfrey and that lot of prats never caught a glimpse of you. he said, trailing off. For a moment, Remus thought they weren't being completely truthful, but Peter's shrill voice cut his pondering.

Guys, she's coming! Peter yelled, bursting into the door. With apologetic shrugs, the three Marauders quickly ran their way out of the tunnel.

Falling back onto the bed, Remus stared up at the swirling ceiling for a good five minutes.

Sometimes I think Rom was right... Hogwarts wasn't ready for me.



It was very fortunate for James and Sirius that there was a Quidditch match that afternoon, otherwise their visible bruises and gashes would have brought about unwanted questioning. The downside to the game was Remus was barely able to stagger off the field afterwards, even with two supports int he form of his friends. As soon as they hit the lockers, James and Sirius helped him to a bench.

I can't believe Slytherin beat us that bad. Kayre grumbled, throwing her gear down on the ground. It's impossible with Galle on the team! I mean, Lord above. We don't have time to catch the Snitch with him pounding Bludgers at James every three seconds!

Then we need to take him out.

Impossible, not with the Chasers going at Lupin every other turnover. the new Chaser, a short boy by the name of Eric Rineson, said with a sigh.

Sorry about that, I did warn you all I can't play too well right now. Remus started.

Eh, not your fault. Blasted Slytherins are doing something illegal, I swear...



Need some help there? Lily offered, coming up behind him.

Shouldn't you be with your team? he mumbled, though accepting the shoulder.

I hate every last one of them, and anyway, I'd rather not get in trouble with the Ministry. she said quietly.



Never mind that, are you alright?

Just a little exhausted. I'll be alright once I get some sleep. Remus said.

Or so you hope.

You don't have to worry about me-

Of course I do, same with James and Sirius. You don't worry about yourself, sure as day, so we have to. she said with a smile. You're such a prat sometimes, you know that? Lily added to herself, tucking a loose lock of fiery hair behind her ear. We're not going to think you're weak or anything like that if you ask for help every now and then.

Amused that she could read his thoughts so easily, Remus shook his head.

You always seem to compete with James and Sirius, on everything. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were about as insecure as a first year Hufflepuff.

Hey, I am n-

Mr. Lupin, can I see you in my office for a moment?

Looking up, Remus saw a very tight-faced McGonnagal standing in the doorway. Sirius was at her side, eyes blank of any emotion.

What's going on? Lily whispered, helping him up the stairs.

I... I don't know... he mumbled, hands shaking. The solemn look in Sirius' eyes could only mean one thing in his mind.



Why the hell are Dumbledore and Snape in there? And why am I here?

Still pale-faced, Sirius shook his head, lips cold. It... I told them it wasn't you, b-but...

Padfoot, please tell me they don't-

Not... Not everyone, I mean, if... he started, and shut his eyes as the doors opened. Dumbledore came out, face barren of any indications as he beckoned the pair inside. They found Snape and James sitting aside each other, none too pleased, in front of Dumbledore's desk.

Mr. Lupin, are you aware of Mr. Gudgeon venturing too close to the Whomping Willow last night? he asked calmly, hands folded over his desk as he sat down. Remus nodded once, wondering, with a racing heart, what was going on. Being in Dumbledore's office was not new to him, or the Marauders as a whole, but Snape towing along for the ride was a first.

And Sirius never looked nervous. Ever.

Where you aware that Mr. Snape here was also out last night?

Looking over to his friends, his face went cold.

I'm sorry. Sirius growled under his breath, the others not hearing.

he said. To his surprise, his own voice was beginning to shake.

Then I believe there are a few things your friends may wish to discuss with you for a few minutes... Severus, if you would follow me. Dumbledore said, leading the Slytherin out of the room. On his way, Snape cleverly managed to kick Sirius in the shins without the Headmaster being aware of it.

What the hell is going on? His voice cracked as he spoke, breaking off at the end. He was greeted by two solemn frowns, and no immediate reply.



Very slowly, James tore his eyes away from the ground.

Last night, after Gudgeon got hit and the crowd cleared away, Snape saw Sirius in human form in the woods. he mumbled, not daring to look Remus in the eye.

We got in a fight... Sirius started, not looking up at all. He wanted to know what we were doing out here...

Picking up where Sirius fell silent, James continued. After an argument that delved to topics I'd rather not say, Sirius told him, unintentionally, to sod off and lock yourself in the tunnel'.

Padfoot, you didn't! Remus blurted out, almost jumping to his feet. Face scrunched up, he only nodded.

Naturally Snape wanted to know what he meant. James went on, wringing his hands in his robes. And, well... Sirius lost his tempter. Kind of, well...

I told him to press the knot and figure it out for himself. Sirius admitted.

We locked you back inside, when Grudgeon and his lot were messing around. Sirius had chased them away for a while, and the dolts were too wasted to see us sneak you in. James said quietly as Remus fell back to his chair.

This is it... I'll finally be expelled... he said weakly. The blood he had tasted couldn't possibly had been his own.

And... And when Snape froze the Willow after Pomfrey took Davey away, James went on, face frozen like a stone. Well... He got halfway down.

Remus finally asked, glaring at Sirius.

James didn't know about our toil, he was off with Peter. Sirius mumbled, hands in his hair. Once he found out it was almost too late.

Ears perking up, he half-smiled hopefully.

I got to Snape before he opened the door. James said. But... Well, to put it ungracefully, he knows that the Shack isn't haunted.



Remus, you do realize that Severus has legal rights to press charges. Dumbledore said quietly. Once this matter gets into the hands of the Ministry, well-

I know, I know. Remus snapped. His eyes were red, and though he would never admit it, he knew he was crying freely. Raking his fingers once more through his tangle of hair, he rolled his eyes at life.

And then I'll be Registered and strictly forbidden' to come anywhere near Hogwarts, or any community for that fact... Then sent off to one of those Goddamn camps. he said in a daze.

But he didn't even do anything! Sirius snapped from the doorway. Dumbledore peered at him disapprovingly, for they were supposed to have gone back to the Common Room a while ago.

The Ministry won't care. Remus said, eyes going wet again. All they'll see is that I'm a werewolf and I could have killed someone.

It was my fault though,

You don't get it! Remus barked. Dammit Sirius, you don't understand! They wont give a damn that I wasn't even involved, it wont even cross their mind...

Sirius looked to the Headmaster for some sort of advice, and was appalled to find him only nodding in confirmation.

That isn't fair though, I mean... You didn't, you didn't even know! It was the Luna Bonae Indolis, you couldn't...

Mr. Black, I'm sad to say Remus is correct, in every matter. Dumbledore said at long last, breaking the silence. Even though he did not participate in the ordeal, the fact remains that he is here in the first place. There are strict laws against werewolves being in wizarding communities... I had to find many loopholes just to house him in the first place. he informed. For a moment, the only sound either could hear was Remus' pathetic sobs and murmurs to noone.

I won't let him. Sirius snapped, hitting his fist against the door. You can't expel him, I-

If I had a choice, Mr. Black, I would not.

But I did it! Doesn't that mean anything? Anything? Sirius asked, shaking his head. This whole thing is my fault anyway, Remus shouldn't have his life destroyed because I messed up-

It's not your fault. Remus said once, looking up. It's my fault for coming here. My fault for being alive.

Without warning, he pushed Sirius aside and sprinted down to short staircase, leaving behind a passionate friend and a troubled elder.

I think it would be best if he has some time to himself. Dumbledore suggested. Shaking his head vigorously, Sirius shut his eyes.

I swear to God sir, if he's alone for five minutes it'll be his last.

That said, he too ran past the stone gargoyle.



Why doesn't he show up on the Map?

Maybe he left the grounds, he's done it before.

Well the Ministry will be after him soon, he shouldn't run-

Do you really think logic is anywhere in his head right now Pete?

Well I was just thinking-

Don't even think you bloody git. it's a waste of energy.

Padfoot, cut it out. You're being a bit harsh-

Don't either of you get it at ALL? the voice yelled, piecing the silence of the quiet dungeons. He's going to be killed or something, because I got pisse doff at Snape other a nothing. I am not going to sit around and let him be executed.


Hunched back in his tunnel, Remus held his knee's to his chest, ignoring all the shouts he could hear through the walls. All he heard was the ringing silence, and a bitter voice lashing out a harsh reality, split between another life and now.

I'm sorry Moony, I... I didn't mean to... I swear Moony, please- No, don't go! I haven't explained! I-



A/n- Well, another one down. I was debating whether or not I should add that part of canon into my fic, but since I had a brief spell of writers block, I figured this could lend a cure. Thanks for all the reviews :)

Iggie

Fic of the Day- To Kneel by Green Eyed Lady: A non-slash story of the odd friendship between one Remus Lupin and Severus Snape. Full of sarcasm and witty quips, this is definitely a must-read for fans of the duo.

Title meaning- Peragro means never ending'. I thought it appropriate, as this supposive five-chapter beast just keeps going. Expect at least another ten chapters.