The Misadventures of Ky Kiske
By: Invader-Zam4
Disclaimer: Ky Kiske, May, April and the rest of the Guilty Gear characters portrayed here are property of Sammy. "The Misadventures of Tron Bonne" and all related characters and story elements belong to Capcom. Please don't sue me. I don't have any money.
Chapter 2: Sake Run
In a remote part of the Philippines, a young man of 17 spends a late night in front of a television set and PS2. It is around 1:30am and the man, eyes now baggy and yawning, finally shut off the unit when he notices that the adapter is starting to smoke.
"Damn...Suikoden 3...need to play...but need...to...sleeeeeeeeeeep..."
As he starts to get ready to enter the domain of the middle-child of the endless, a meteor suddenly hits his back yard. Forgetting his sleep- depravity, he grabs his trusty bamboo rod and rushes out of his room to the terrace. He climbs out of the large window to the roof. Not wasting anytime, he jumps down to face the meteor.
As the smoke subsides, he find that the "meteor" is actually a robot cat. Not JUST any robot cat, it is HIS pero-neko...
"MIR! Your back!"
The robot faces him with his large blue eyes.
"HI!" Then he starts doing a little dance. "DOO DOO DOOO DOO..."
"Uhuh, so did you complete your mission?"
The robot cat looked at him. His blue eyes turned red.
"Sir yes Sir! I am back from a information-gathering mission from 'The Wedding Night 2.' Mission successful sir!"
"I didn't think Sheo would end it so soon. Oh well..."
Indeed Mir was at that fanfic. He portrayed a joke character, a small cat that was part of an invading cat race. He was only lightly mentioned, he didn't want to be involved in the story too much, just enough to have access to unlimited information. He succeeded in doing so by being Kirkia's pet for a while. He left when the story started becoming a dark, angst- ridden tragedy, hence he didn't join in the grand final battle against...you know who. While they were all busy creating their fleet, he hacked into their data banks and received all the information he required. His true purpose there was to investigate an anomaly. An anomaly known as...Sho Tsuzuku.
"Sir, your suscpicions on Sho were true. I have data confirming it. You were right, he isn't just a parasite that is grows stronger the longer he stays on a fanfiction. He is...*"
"Very good. Mir, we will deal with all this red tape later. For now, lets continue 'The Misadventures of Ky Kiske'."
Mir's eyes went blue once again.
"I'm GONNA HAVE A MUFFIN!" screamed the little defective robot as he did so.
Zam got his little companion as brought him to the house. He attached his robot buddy/slave to his computer and began writing once again...
***
Ky woke up with a splitting headache. No, it wasn't a hangover. Ky had dreamt about all that he had done. And he wasn't in his pirate persona Klyde. He was in goody-too-shoes Ky. So the resulting repentance gave him the same repentance of that of a hangover. He had prayed 3-4 rosaries, seeking repentance. But even after all that, he was still sorry for pillaging a town, resisting arrest and giving Bridget several convulsions from his electric bullets.
"Maybe I'm just not fit to be a pirate." Ky thought as he got up. He then saw a report on his desk. It was from April. It was a mission report on the past * ehem * withdrawal. As Ky flipped over the report, he was astounded to see what was in it. They completed the mission of getting 50,000 world dollars from... contributions... from the local townsfolk and police. In fact, they reached a total of 54,630. But due to Ky's resourceful taser targeting, they managed to sell all the sirens, wheels, mirrors, riot shields, energy rods, exploding teddy bears, magazines, cookies and all that other stuff they...borrowed. The total earnings were 80,000 world dollars! And all that has already been transferred to his account.
Ky was indeed surprised. He was now only 920,000 world dollars short! He was feeling ecstatic. But then, an omiouis feeling came over him. As if someone was watching him. He turned to the direction of the strange feeling and saw his altar. He saw Jesus eyes watching him in a weird manner. It was like he was doing Ghost Rider's penance stare on Ky. Ky sighed. He got a box nearby and approached the altar. Once more, he sighed. "Sorry, but this is for a noble cause. Mine, that is." He shoved all the bibles, crosses, crucifixes, holy water, blessed cloth, buddy Jesus' in to the box and closed it. "I will listen to your lecture later." He then took the box and shoved it into a nearby closet. "Its time for everyone else to be...'discomforted' for my sake. Hehe."
Ky then began getting ready for a new day of buccaneering. After taking a warm bath (man the atmosphere at 500,000 feet up in the air must be cold) he got his suit ready. He fitted his blue denim jeans, his black shirt and his blue denim vest. He then wore his black cap with Johnny's crossbones. Then he took a good look in the mirror. He gazed into his own green eyes as if he wasn't going to see them again. Then, he wore his black shades. "Klyde is in the house! HOO HAH HRR!" Out of some strange impulse, after wearing his shades, he did a few Johnny Bravo poses.
"Man, I hope no one saw that..." Ky replied to his own impulsiveness, unaware that August had installed a surveillance monitor in his room. He believed that no one was spying on him so he grinned a bit. He turned on the radio and danced to the tune of pulp fiction. It was one of those things he always wanted to do.
*** Meanwhile, at the security room, all 12 girls were watching
"Heehee. Oh man this is good stuff..."
"Haha! Oh dear! Maybe we shouldn't be intruding of Ky's privacy...NOT!"
"Oh god! April! You getting this down?!"
"I'm sending the clip to all the SolxKy yaoi fan sites now."
"Oh shit! He's coming!"
"Everyone! To your stations! Look busy!"
***
Ky entered the bridge. All of the girls were busy with the monitors and their stations. Ky was finding it hard to believe that these girls were...girls. Johnny must be very strict. Well, if they are taking their jobs seriously, I should do the same.
"April, what do we have lined up for today?"
"Well..rhm...sir...hrm...I have a good...hrm...way on how he can...haha...money quickly." April replied, still trying to hold back the laughter.
"Ooooookay. What is it?"
April breathed and calmed herself down. "There is a new shipment of Japanese sake at the London port today."
"Sake? How is that different from all the other alcohol? That will just get us petty cash!"
"Not so sir! You see, only Japanese at the Malaysian colony know how to make sake. And they don't share it with anyone else! The only reason that sake leaves a colony is because they are giving it to their brothers at the other colonies. The sweet taste and rarity of sake has made it a very lucrative commodity! Four crates of the stuff can get us a cool 150,000!"
"Wow. Not a bad deal. Alright! Get all the details worked out. We will start the mission meeting at 1200 hours. In the meantime..." Ky's stomach growled "I will get something to eat, I haven't eaten breakfast yet."
***
Ky slipped into the mess hall. Bertha was still there, cleaning up.
"Oh my! Mr. Ky! You missed breakfast!"
"I know Bertha. Is there anything left."
"Well, there is still some meat left by the girls. But it's a very tiny piece of pork."
"Aw man. I'll have it anyway." Bertha then scurried off to the kitchen to get the left over.
"Aw man. I'm really hungry..." Ky whined. He slumped into the mess hall's table. "I suppose this will satiate me a while. I can just go into one of the nearby restaurants and order something more to eat. Man, I really can't go on without any food. I'm so hungry... I could eat 3, no, 5 French breads and a MUFFIN!"
Bertha then put half of a massive roasted boar, smothered in honey sauce, still steaming. Ky was a bit stunned when he saw the food that was laid out before him.
"Um, Bertha, didn't you say there was a little pork left?"
"Why yes. There were six of these at breakfast. The girls wolfed them all down, they did!"
"Uh-huh. Okay..." Ky replied as he got his utensils and tried to get a piece off the massive thing. The meat proved tougher that what he expected. The fork was barely piercing the meat and the knife wasn't even cutting it. But Ky is a persistent lad. He tried harder and harder. But as his irritance on the meat grew, so did his hunger. Until... * SNAP * the utensils broke. This drove Ky into another blood rage as he got the whole thing and began feeding on it with his teeth.
"GRRRRRRR. AAAARRRGGHHHHH! RORR! RORR! RUFF! RUFF! MAUL! ROWR! CHEW! BITE! RIP! NO MERCY! HEAVEN OR HELL! DRIP! GRID! BURP!"
As Ky finished eating, he wiped his face on the tablecloth. He then saw Bertha on the other side of the room, somewhat scared.
"Ehehehe. I guess I was hungrier than I thought... Well, that was an excellent meal. Thank you Ms. Bertha." Ky quickly rushed off the room.
As Ky strode down the hallways, something entered his head. Strangely enough, all that meat eating reminded him of Jam...and just how flirty she was. He remembered as he was eating and there was rice on his face, Jam would usually go 'Oh Ky! Your such a kid. Let me clean you up.' Why was that flirty? Cause she would clean him up, with her tongue. She even used the soy sauce on his lips as a shameless excuse to give him a French kiss. This made Ky smile for a while. Then he got depressed. Ky is always missing Jam. But now he was starting to miss her wife's succulent dishes.
"Jam. I miss you..."
***
Meeting Room
Ky entered the meeting room. The eleven girls were already there, chatting, throwing paper airplanes, reading Candy magazines, and counting money.
"Okay! Lets get this pre-mission meeting started!"
OBJECTIVES
"Okay, our end goal is to be able to steal four crates of sake right? How much can we sell them for?"
"150,000 world dollars."
"Alright! There is a lot of money here, so lets not screw up!"
"ROGER!"
MAP
"The target port is at London. It's called the 'Innocent Warehouse District'."
"There sure are a lot of warehouses there."
"You could probably hide anything there."
"Fishes, boats, mechas, cocaine, people..."
"Klyde, I will now explain the mission plan"
"Go ahead April."
"While the rest of us perform at the local strip club..."
"WHAT?!"
"...you and one other girl will proceed to take the targeted cargo and place it on this ship that we...er...borrowed. After placing them all, you will signal to us and you will shove off for the May Ship. We, in the mean time will exit out of the docks safely."
"I CANNOT LET YOU GIRLS GO, MUCH LESS PERFORM, AT A STRIP CLUB!"
"Relax Klyde, around 4 of us CAME from strip clubs. We know our way around."
"Besides, what better way to attract burly seamen than with cute girls in sailor uniforms?"
"But..."
"Klyde, if it makes you feel any better, we will exit as soon as you get the four crates. So be sure to get them soon!"
"Okay. But promise me you'll run if something comes up alright?"
"We promise!"
CREW
"Since I can take only one girl, I will take May along."
"Alright! Some action!"
MECHA
"Klyde, we modified the FRB for this mission. In order for it to be able to carry those heavy creates, we have taken out the gun-arm and replaced it with a normal arm. Also, we have replaced the legs with tank legs so that there is more support."
"Alright."
MISSION START
The girls started struting around in their skimpy sailor uniforms (which was actually their Jelly Fish Pirate uniforms) while dancing to the beat of the "Pink Panther," much to Ky's disapproval.
"Klyde! The sooner we get this over, the sooner they can do they're big finale! Let's go!"
Klyde reluctantly left the girls at the mercy of the amorous sailors and boarded his now unarmed FRB.
***
Klyde rushed with May to the mission area. When they got there, May pointed to a small tug boat.
"We, um, borrowed this boat. We will unload all the sake crates here."
"Okay. Where are all the sake crates?"
May pointed them all out. They were all conveniently colored green.
"Those wooden boxes you could carry with ease. Those metal crates you can carry, but not walk. HEY!!!!!" May screamed as she pointed to a red crate. "CHINA! If we can, lets get that too! It's worth a lot!"
"All right. Iguso!"
And so the two went to work, picking up boxes, using them to help him get all the green crates. They were even able to get the box of china!
"Great! This is the last crate!" Exclaimed May as Klyde chucked the last crate into the boat.
"Good. Now give the order to the others to evacuate NOW!"
"Aye-aye sir!"
May got her communicator. "April, were done here! You can go now. you don't say... you don't say...you don't say... you don't say! YOU DON'T SAY! Okay bye."
"What happened?"
"She didn't say."
As the two were about to get on the boat, they saw a trail of red smoke surrounding them.
"May! Don't breathe it! It's probably toxic!"
May, being the insubordinate little bugger that she is, didn't.
"It doesn't smell toxic. It smells like... like..."
"SO YOU'RE THE SAKE THIEF..."
The two hesitantly turned around.
***
"B-B-BAIKEN?!" Exclaimed the two as they saw the pink haired swordmaiden with a murderous glint in her red eyes. If that wasn't scary enough, she was foaming. It looked like she was on drugs.
"You little PUNKS! I HAVENT HAD A DROP OF SAKE FOR THREE GLORIOUS MONTHS BECAUSE OF YOU!" She said as she walked like a drunken zombie towards them
"May, what's she talking about?" Klyde asked, puzzled.
"We've been stealing the sake from this port since three months ago."
"Oh dear."
"No sake. It's been horror. You have no idea of all the dementia, manic- depression, delusion, fevers, hallucinations I've endured. It's WORSE than the time GEARS burned down my village! Now you two will pay. I wont stop until you two are just a greasy smear on my blade. I will make you into a bloodier mess than Kenshiro from 'Fist of the North Star' could ever do. I will beat you... TO A PULP!"
With that, Baiken charged with blind, alcohol-deprived fury. To someone whose blood was sake, three months without it was like a three-month period. She is like the brave, valiant vixen who fights the predators who want to eat her children. The children called "sake"
Klyde knew he couldn't fight. He could easily take out his Furaiken and fight her, but he couldn't risk losing his identity. Ky was about to jump off and run when May stood infront of her.
"Klyde, I'll deal with her, start the boat and leave! The pothers are waiting. I'll follow after."
"So your name is Klyde eh? After I gut this one, YOU ARE NEXT!"
Baiken's lack of alcohol has made her into a very dangerous woman. May's anchor fell from the sky. When she clasped it, Baiken was gone and there were machine gun bullets that were moving towards her.
May jumped out of the way, then Baiken appeared in front of her. Somehow she learned Souirou's machine gun run. Baiken drew out her sword and slashed the ground. Fire enveloped her sword as she wildly swung it. May could do nothing but defend against her blazing fury.
"Baiken! Owch. Don't you remember me! ahh! It's me May! Argh! Why are you so angry?! Awch! I think you need help! AAAA!"
"NEED... SAKE... IF YOU DIE I WILL HAVE SAKE... MUST KILL SAKE THIEF!"
Ky knew that May was no match. He needed the gun arm and fast. After loading the FRB and strategically placing it at the deck, he went down blow to look for the gun arm. He had a strange feeling they would need it. Ky's instinct never let him down.
May found an opening and called out Mr. Dolphin to bonk Baiken. Baiken stood straight, not making an effort to dodge or defend. Then she split into two. The dolphin harmlessly passed between the two of them. Then Baiken did Aoshi's flowing water trick. As the Baiken holograms surrounded May, a flame thrower came out of Baiken's decapitated arm. As they all fired on May, she super jumped upwards. The Baiken's stopped circling, then a canon came out of the arm and fired at May again. This time, a barrage of anti-tank missiles came flying towards May. May's good, but she can't dodge them all. The last one hit May square in the chest.
"AAAAAAAHHHHH!"
As May fell to the ground, lightly charred, Baiken sheathed her sword and went for the kill. May gathered all her strength then in one last desperate attempt, did a surprise attack on Baiken. Baiken quickly drew out her sword and parried this attack. A vortex formed, paralyzing May."
"WHERE DID YOU LEARN THE AMAKUKERUNUROHIRAMEKI?" screamed May as she stared in unbelief. Instead of making another slash, Baiken stood straight and stepped a few step back. Once more out of her arm, a HUGE PARTICLE CANON came out for the deathblow. "AND A PROTON CANON?!"
As the proton canon charged, a sadistic glee came to her face.
"Hey BAAAAAAIIIKEN!" she turned. It was Ky. He found the gun arm. "Say hello to my little friend!" Ky fired a charge shot. It went directly into the barrel of the proton canon. "Oh buddha..."
"KAAAAABOOOOOOM!"
Baiken flew to the stratosphere and fell down... charred to perfection.
"Whew. Thanks Klyde!"
"Glad that's over with. Come on May! Lets go!"
"I * cough * will remember you face * cough * Klyde. THIS ISN'T * cough * OVER!"
The little tugboat sped off. Leaving a heavily decimated port with a very dangerous Japanese at the center of damage.
***
Preview of next chapter: "Hello everyone! It's me April! Wow! Were getting an ancient treasure from an ancient ruin. Oh my, a dark and scary cave. There could be a lot of traps and monsters here. But its alright, just as long that Klyde stays with us. EH?! Your staying behind?! Huh? What's an addict doing here? Next time on The Misadventures of Ky Kiske: Raiders of the lost magical-expensive-thingy. Jam's so lucky."
***
Meanwhile...
"Whew! Next chapter is done! Good job Mir."
"I'm gonna have another muffin!"
"...Alright just get OFF of my head... It seems we have a visitor."
"Hello Zam."
"Tsuzuku. What are you doing here? Aren't you busy cvorrupting Sheo Darren's fic?"
Indeed, the antagonist from the Wedding Night 2 was in his room. But a girl was with him though. One of a very quiet demeanor.
"As you already know, that project is already done."
"So what are you doing here."
A grim expression came over his face. He brushed his silver hair and sighed.
"Have you seen him?"
"You mean..." he replied as he stared with his blue and black eyes at the girl Sho was with. "...her brother?"
"Yes."
"You mean he's missing?!"
"Yes. And I have to stop him before another event like the Wedding Night 2 happens once more."
"Unfortunately not. Why did you seek this universe first?"
"I have detected certain fluctuations in your universe. I thought..."
"Your concern is appreciated. But its just me getting used to the supreme power of one universe. It's nothing to get worried about."
"If you say so. If something come up, do not hesitate to call upon the hexagon."
"...I will only call the hexagon if it's the last resort."
"Very well Zam. Goodbye."
After the two disappeared, Zam looked outside the window. His blue/brown eyes reflected the full moonlight. As he lit a cigarette and scratched his spiky hair, he muttered...
"I hope its nothing to get worried about... MIR GET OFF MY HEAD!"
Disclaimer: Ky Kiske, May, April and the rest of the Guilty Gear characters portrayed here are property of Sammy. "The Misadventures of Tron Bonne" and all related characters and story elements belong to Capcom. Please don't sue me. I don't have any money.
Chapter 2: Sake Run
In a remote part of the Philippines, a young man of 17 spends a late night in front of a television set and PS2. It is around 1:30am and the man, eyes now baggy and yawning, finally shut off the unit when he notices that the adapter is starting to smoke.
"Damn...Suikoden 3...need to play...but need...to...sleeeeeeeeeeep..."
As he starts to get ready to enter the domain of the middle-child of the endless, a meteor suddenly hits his back yard. Forgetting his sleep- depravity, he grabs his trusty bamboo rod and rushes out of his room to the terrace. He climbs out of the large window to the roof. Not wasting anytime, he jumps down to face the meteor.
As the smoke subsides, he find that the "meteor" is actually a robot cat. Not JUST any robot cat, it is HIS pero-neko...
"MIR! Your back!"
The robot faces him with his large blue eyes.
"HI!" Then he starts doing a little dance. "DOO DOO DOOO DOO..."
"Uhuh, so did you complete your mission?"
The robot cat looked at him. His blue eyes turned red.
"Sir yes Sir! I am back from a information-gathering mission from 'The Wedding Night 2.' Mission successful sir!"
"I didn't think Sheo would end it so soon. Oh well..."
Indeed Mir was at that fanfic. He portrayed a joke character, a small cat that was part of an invading cat race. He was only lightly mentioned, he didn't want to be involved in the story too much, just enough to have access to unlimited information. He succeeded in doing so by being Kirkia's pet for a while. He left when the story started becoming a dark, angst- ridden tragedy, hence he didn't join in the grand final battle against...you know who. While they were all busy creating their fleet, he hacked into their data banks and received all the information he required. His true purpose there was to investigate an anomaly. An anomaly known as...Sho Tsuzuku.
"Sir, your suscpicions on Sho were true. I have data confirming it. You were right, he isn't just a parasite that is grows stronger the longer he stays on a fanfiction. He is...*"
"Very good. Mir, we will deal with all this red tape later. For now, lets continue 'The Misadventures of Ky Kiske'."
Mir's eyes went blue once again.
"I'm GONNA HAVE A MUFFIN!" screamed the little defective robot as he did so.
Zam got his little companion as brought him to the house. He attached his robot buddy/slave to his computer and began writing once again...
***
Ky woke up with a splitting headache. No, it wasn't a hangover. Ky had dreamt about all that he had done. And he wasn't in his pirate persona Klyde. He was in goody-too-shoes Ky. So the resulting repentance gave him the same repentance of that of a hangover. He had prayed 3-4 rosaries, seeking repentance. But even after all that, he was still sorry for pillaging a town, resisting arrest and giving Bridget several convulsions from his electric bullets.
"Maybe I'm just not fit to be a pirate." Ky thought as he got up. He then saw a report on his desk. It was from April. It was a mission report on the past * ehem * withdrawal. As Ky flipped over the report, he was astounded to see what was in it. They completed the mission of getting 50,000 world dollars from... contributions... from the local townsfolk and police. In fact, they reached a total of 54,630. But due to Ky's resourceful taser targeting, they managed to sell all the sirens, wheels, mirrors, riot shields, energy rods, exploding teddy bears, magazines, cookies and all that other stuff they...borrowed. The total earnings were 80,000 world dollars! And all that has already been transferred to his account.
Ky was indeed surprised. He was now only 920,000 world dollars short! He was feeling ecstatic. But then, an omiouis feeling came over him. As if someone was watching him. He turned to the direction of the strange feeling and saw his altar. He saw Jesus eyes watching him in a weird manner. It was like he was doing Ghost Rider's penance stare on Ky. Ky sighed. He got a box nearby and approached the altar. Once more, he sighed. "Sorry, but this is for a noble cause. Mine, that is." He shoved all the bibles, crosses, crucifixes, holy water, blessed cloth, buddy Jesus' in to the box and closed it. "I will listen to your lecture later." He then took the box and shoved it into a nearby closet. "Its time for everyone else to be...'discomforted' for my sake. Hehe."
Ky then began getting ready for a new day of buccaneering. After taking a warm bath (man the atmosphere at 500,000 feet up in the air must be cold) he got his suit ready. He fitted his blue denim jeans, his black shirt and his blue denim vest. He then wore his black cap with Johnny's crossbones. Then he took a good look in the mirror. He gazed into his own green eyes as if he wasn't going to see them again. Then, he wore his black shades. "Klyde is in the house! HOO HAH HRR!" Out of some strange impulse, after wearing his shades, he did a few Johnny Bravo poses.
"Man, I hope no one saw that..." Ky replied to his own impulsiveness, unaware that August had installed a surveillance monitor in his room. He believed that no one was spying on him so he grinned a bit. He turned on the radio and danced to the tune of pulp fiction. It was one of those things he always wanted to do.
*** Meanwhile, at the security room, all 12 girls were watching
"Heehee. Oh man this is good stuff..."
"Haha! Oh dear! Maybe we shouldn't be intruding of Ky's privacy...NOT!"
"Oh god! April! You getting this down?!"
"I'm sending the clip to all the SolxKy yaoi fan sites now."
"Oh shit! He's coming!"
"Everyone! To your stations! Look busy!"
***
Ky entered the bridge. All of the girls were busy with the monitors and their stations. Ky was finding it hard to believe that these girls were...girls. Johnny must be very strict. Well, if they are taking their jobs seriously, I should do the same.
"April, what do we have lined up for today?"
"Well..rhm...sir...hrm...I have a good...hrm...way on how he can...haha...money quickly." April replied, still trying to hold back the laughter.
"Ooooookay. What is it?"
April breathed and calmed herself down. "There is a new shipment of Japanese sake at the London port today."
"Sake? How is that different from all the other alcohol? That will just get us petty cash!"
"Not so sir! You see, only Japanese at the Malaysian colony know how to make sake. And they don't share it with anyone else! The only reason that sake leaves a colony is because they are giving it to their brothers at the other colonies. The sweet taste and rarity of sake has made it a very lucrative commodity! Four crates of the stuff can get us a cool 150,000!"
"Wow. Not a bad deal. Alright! Get all the details worked out. We will start the mission meeting at 1200 hours. In the meantime..." Ky's stomach growled "I will get something to eat, I haven't eaten breakfast yet."
***
Ky slipped into the mess hall. Bertha was still there, cleaning up.
"Oh my! Mr. Ky! You missed breakfast!"
"I know Bertha. Is there anything left."
"Well, there is still some meat left by the girls. But it's a very tiny piece of pork."
"Aw man. I'll have it anyway." Bertha then scurried off to the kitchen to get the left over.
"Aw man. I'm really hungry..." Ky whined. He slumped into the mess hall's table. "I suppose this will satiate me a while. I can just go into one of the nearby restaurants and order something more to eat. Man, I really can't go on without any food. I'm so hungry... I could eat 3, no, 5 French breads and a MUFFIN!"
Bertha then put half of a massive roasted boar, smothered in honey sauce, still steaming. Ky was a bit stunned when he saw the food that was laid out before him.
"Um, Bertha, didn't you say there was a little pork left?"
"Why yes. There were six of these at breakfast. The girls wolfed them all down, they did!"
"Uh-huh. Okay..." Ky replied as he got his utensils and tried to get a piece off the massive thing. The meat proved tougher that what he expected. The fork was barely piercing the meat and the knife wasn't even cutting it. But Ky is a persistent lad. He tried harder and harder. But as his irritance on the meat grew, so did his hunger. Until... * SNAP * the utensils broke. This drove Ky into another blood rage as he got the whole thing and began feeding on it with his teeth.
"GRRRRRRR. AAAARRRGGHHHHH! RORR! RORR! RUFF! RUFF! MAUL! ROWR! CHEW! BITE! RIP! NO MERCY! HEAVEN OR HELL! DRIP! GRID! BURP!"
As Ky finished eating, he wiped his face on the tablecloth. He then saw Bertha on the other side of the room, somewhat scared.
"Ehehehe. I guess I was hungrier than I thought... Well, that was an excellent meal. Thank you Ms. Bertha." Ky quickly rushed off the room.
As Ky strode down the hallways, something entered his head. Strangely enough, all that meat eating reminded him of Jam...and just how flirty she was. He remembered as he was eating and there was rice on his face, Jam would usually go 'Oh Ky! Your such a kid. Let me clean you up.' Why was that flirty? Cause she would clean him up, with her tongue. She even used the soy sauce on his lips as a shameless excuse to give him a French kiss. This made Ky smile for a while. Then he got depressed. Ky is always missing Jam. But now he was starting to miss her wife's succulent dishes.
"Jam. I miss you..."
***
Meeting Room
Ky entered the meeting room. The eleven girls were already there, chatting, throwing paper airplanes, reading Candy magazines, and counting money.
"Okay! Lets get this pre-mission meeting started!"
OBJECTIVES
"Okay, our end goal is to be able to steal four crates of sake right? How much can we sell them for?"
"150,000 world dollars."
"Alright! There is a lot of money here, so lets not screw up!"
"ROGER!"
MAP
"The target port is at London. It's called the 'Innocent Warehouse District'."
"There sure are a lot of warehouses there."
"You could probably hide anything there."
"Fishes, boats, mechas, cocaine, people..."
"Klyde, I will now explain the mission plan"
"Go ahead April."
"While the rest of us perform at the local strip club..."
"WHAT?!"
"...you and one other girl will proceed to take the targeted cargo and place it on this ship that we...er...borrowed. After placing them all, you will signal to us and you will shove off for the May Ship. We, in the mean time will exit out of the docks safely."
"I CANNOT LET YOU GIRLS GO, MUCH LESS PERFORM, AT A STRIP CLUB!"
"Relax Klyde, around 4 of us CAME from strip clubs. We know our way around."
"Besides, what better way to attract burly seamen than with cute girls in sailor uniforms?"
"But..."
"Klyde, if it makes you feel any better, we will exit as soon as you get the four crates. So be sure to get them soon!"
"Okay. But promise me you'll run if something comes up alright?"
"We promise!"
CREW
"Since I can take only one girl, I will take May along."
"Alright! Some action!"
MECHA
"Klyde, we modified the FRB for this mission. In order for it to be able to carry those heavy creates, we have taken out the gun-arm and replaced it with a normal arm. Also, we have replaced the legs with tank legs so that there is more support."
"Alright."
MISSION START
The girls started struting around in their skimpy sailor uniforms (which was actually their Jelly Fish Pirate uniforms) while dancing to the beat of the "Pink Panther," much to Ky's disapproval.
"Klyde! The sooner we get this over, the sooner they can do they're big finale! Let's go!"
Klyde reluctantly left the girls at the mercy of the amorous sailors and boarded his now unarmed FRB.
***
Klyde rushed with May to the mission area. When they got there, May pointed to a small tug boat.
"We, um, borrowed this boat. We will unload all the sake crates here."
"Okay. Where are all the sake crates?"
May pointed them all out. They were all conveniently colored green.
"Those wooden boxes you could carry with ease. Those metal crates you can carry, but not walk. HEY!!!!!" May screamed as she pointed to a red crate. "CHINA! If we can, lets get that too! It's worth a lot!"
"All right. Iguso!"
And so the two went to work, picking up boxes, using them to help him get all the green crates. They were even able to get the box of china!
"Great! This is the last crate!" Exclaimed May as Klyde chucked the last crate into the boat.
"Good. Now give the order to the others to evacuate NOW!"
"Aye-aye sir!"
May got her communicator. "April, were done here! You can go now. you don't say... you don't say...you don't say... you don't say! YOU DON'T SAY! Okay bye."
"What happened?"
"She didn't say."
As the two were about to get on the boat, they saw a trail of red smoke surrounding them.
"May! Don't breathe it! It's probably toxic!"
May, being the insubordinate little bugger that she is, didn't.
"It doesn't smell toxic. It smells like... like..."
"SO YOU'RE THE SAKE THIEF..."
The two hesitantly turned around.
***
"B-B-BAIKEN?!" Exclaimed the two as they saw the pink haired swordmaiden with a murderous glint in her red eyes. If that wasn't scary enough, she was foaming. It looked like she was on drugs.
"You little PUNKS! I HAVENT HAD A DROP OF SAKE FOR THREE GLORIOUS MONTHS BECAUSE OF YOU!" She said as she walked like a drunken zombie towards them
"May, what's she talking about?" Klyde asked, puzzled.
"We've been stealing the sake from this port since three months ago."
"Oh dear."
"No sake. It's been horror. You have no idea of all the dementia, manic- depression, delusion, fevers, hallucinations I've endured. It's WORSE than the time GEARS burned down my village! Now you two will pay. I wont stop until you two are just a greasy smear on my blade. I will make you into a bloodier mess than Kenshiro from 'Fist of the North Star' could ever do. I will beat you... TO A PULP!"
With that, Baiken charged with blind, alcohol-deprived fury. To someone whose blood was sake, three months without it was like a three-month period. She is like the brave, valiant vixen who fights the predators who want to eat her children. The children called "sake"
Klyde knew he couldn't fight. He could easily take out his Furaiken and fight her, but he couldn't risk losing his identity. Ky was about to jump off and run when May stood infront of her.
"Klyde, I'll deal with her, start the boat and leave! The pothers are waiting. I'll follow after."
"So your name is Klyde eh? After I gut this one, YOU ARE NEXT!"
Baiken's lack of alcohol has made her into a very dangerous woman. May's anchor fell from the sky. When she clasped it, Baiken was gone and there were machine gun bullets that were moving towards her.
May jumped out of the way, then Baiken appeared in front of her. Somehow she learned Souirou's machine gun run. Baiken drew out her sword and slashed the ground. Fire enveloped her sword as she wildly swung it. May could do nothing but defend against her blazing fury.
"Baiken! Owch. Don't you remember me! ahh! It's me May! Argh! Why are you so angry?! Awch! I think you need help! AAAA!"
"NEED... SAKE... IF YOU DIE I WILL HAVE SAKE... MUST KILL SAKE THIEF!"
Ky knew that May was no match. He needed the gun arm and fast. After loading the FRB and strategically placing it at the deck, he went down blow to look for the gun arm. He had a strange feeling they would need it. Ky's instinct never let him down.
May found an opening and called out Mr. Dolphin to bonk Baiken. Baiken stood straight, not making an effort to dodge or defend. Then she split into two. The dolphin harmlessly passed between the two of them. Then Baiken did Aoshi's flowing water trick. As the Baiken holograms surrounded May, a flame thrower came out of Baiken's decapitated arm. As they all fired on May, she super jumped upwards. The Baiken's stopped circling, then a canon came out of the arm and fired at May again. This time, a barrage of anti-tank missiles came flying towards May. May's good, but she can't dodge them all. The last one hit May square in the chest.
"AAAAAAAHHHHH!"
As May fell to the ground, lightly charred, Baiken sheathed her sword and went for the kill. May gathered all her strength then in one last desperate attempt, did a surprise attack on Baiken. Baiken quickly drew out her sword and parried this attack. A vortex formed, paralyzing May."
"WHERE DID YOU LEARN THE AMAKUKERUNUROHIRAMEKI?" screamed May as she stared in unbelief. Instead of making another slash, Baiken stood straight and stepped a few step back. Once more out of her arm, a HUGE PARTICLE CANON came out for the deathblow. "AND A PROTON CANON?!"
As the proton canon charged, a sadistic glee came to her face.
"Hey BAAAAAAIIIKEN!" she turned. It was Ky. He found the gun arm. "Say hello to my little friend!" Ky fired a charge shot. It went directly into the barrel of the proton canon. "Oh buddha..."
"KAAAAABOOOOOOM!"
Baiken flew to the stratosphere and fell down... charred to perfection.
"Whew. Thanks Klyde!"
"Glad that's over with. Come on May! Lets go!"
"I * cough * will remember you face * cough * Klyde. THIS ISN'T * cough * OVER!"
The little tugboat sped off. Leaving a heavily decimated port with a very dangerous Japanese at the center of damage.
***
Preview of next chapter: "Hello everyone! It's me April! Wow! Were getting an ancient treasure from an ancient ruin. Oh my, a dark and scary cave. There could be a lot of traps and monsters here. But its alright, just as long that Klyde stays with us. EH?! Your staying behind?! Huh? What's an addict doing here? Next time on The Misadventures of Ky Kiske: Raiders of the lost magical-expensive-thingy. Jam's so lucky."
***
Meanwhile...
"Whew! Next chapter is done! Good job Mir."
"I'm gonna have another muffin!"
"...Alright just get OFF of my head... It seems we have a visitor."
"Hello Zam."
"Tsuzuku. What are you doing here? Aren't you busy cvorrupting Sheo Darren's fic?"
Indeed, the antagonist from the Wedding Night 2 was in his room. But a girl was with him though. One of a very quiet demeanor.
"As you already know, that project is already done."
"So what are you doing here."
A grim expression came over his face. He brushed his silver hair and sighed.
"Have you seen him?"
"You mean..." he replied as he stared with his blue and black eyes at the girl Sho was with. "...her brother?"
"Yes."
"You mean he's missing?!"
"Yes. And I have to stop him before another event like the Wedding Night 2 happens once more."
"Unfortunately not. Why did you seek this universe first?"
"I have detected certain fluctuations in your universe. I thought..."
"Your concern is appreciated. But its just me getting used to the supreme power of one universe. It's nothing to get worried about."
"If you say so. If something come up, do not hesitate to call upon the hexagon."
"...I will only call the hexagon if it's the last resort."
"Very well Zam. Goodbye."
After the two disappeared, Zam looked outside the window. His blue/brown eyes reflected the full moonlight. As he lit a cigarette and scratched his spiky hair, he muttered...
"I hope its nothing to get worried about... MIR GET OFF MY HEAD!"