Author's Note: Summer is coming (yay) but that means that my updates are going to become erratic at best. I don't have Internet at my house, but I'm trying to make arrangements with a friend to use hers. Who knows. I apologize ahead of time to any unhappy readers, but I hope you all understand and don't hate me forever. Love you all, have a great summer!!!

Information: Don't forget that 'apostrophes' mean an annoying inner voice like a conscience.

Disclaimer: All I own are the clothes on my back, and my mommy bought those for me… so maybe she owns them and I actually own nothing. BooHoo!

Chapter 5

Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

and I don't feel right when you're gone away

( next day)

[Kagome's point of view]

The next day, Kagome's mom entered her room to wake her up. Kagome was actually sleeping, which was one of 2 very surprising things. The other surprising thing was that Mrs. Higurashi was waking her up; usually her mom just let her sleep.

"Kagome, honey, wake up!" Mrs. Higurashi said cheerfully.

Kagome flung the blankets over her face.

"Too early, Mom," Kagome muttered sleepily.

"It's not early, dear," Mrs. Higurashi replied. "It's past 10:00 already, and I'm making your favorite meal for supper. But I don't have everything I need, and I would like you to go to the store for me."

Kagome sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes. Suddenly she realized that her mom was back to normal: gone was the despair and the tears of the night before. Her voice was cheery, and she was all smiles, as usual. Why can't she go to the store herself? Why the hell is she bothering me? Kagome caught the selfish thoughts before they changed into words. 'Kagome, stop being a spoiled brat. Your mom has done nothing but care for you in every way for your whole life, and even more over these past six months. The least you can do is go to the store for her without complaining.'

Kagome got out of bed, and her mom greeted her with an enormous hug. She stood still, neither protesting the gesture nor responding to it; she simply stood there, as still as a statue. When her mom left the room Kagome went to the bathroom for a shower, and then got dressed. She walked slowly downstairs, where she was greeted by surprised stares from Souta and Grandpa. I guess they weren't expecting me to be up and dressed. She scowled at them, and they quickly looked away. Her mom turned around and looked her over.

[Souta's pov]

Gosh, Kagome looks awful. She hasn't been up in months, but today she actually got showered and dressed. She used to be so pretty, and I guess she's still pretty now, but not in the same way. I love her and all, but she looks dead. She doesn't play with me anymore, or ask how school is going, or even yell at me and fight with me. She won't tell us what's wrong, but I know something happened with Inuyasha. I wish he would come and make everything better, cause I miss the old Kagome. I want my sister back, Inuyasha, what did you do to her?

[Mrs. Higurashi's pov]

Lately Kagome's taste of clothes has been running towards the bleak and depressing. Mrs. Higurashi examined her daughter: she was wearing black tennis shoes, a pair of black jeans, and a black shirt with a short black trench coat. Why the jacket? It's been very warm outside lately. And why all the black? Sure, black is slimming, but Kagome's so skinny that she doesn't need it. It just makes her look thinner and more pale.

She smiled as she handed Kagome a grocery list and some money.

"Enjoy yourself, dear, and don't be too long!" Mrs. Higurashi called after her daughter.

Hopefully this outing will remind Kagome that there is a world out there. Perhaps it will remind her that she misses being a part of things, and perhaps it can inspire her to live again. Then again, maybe I'm hoping for a little too much.

[Kagome's pov]

Kagome squinted her eyes as she walked outside into the bright afternoon sunlight. Why can't it be cloudy out here? At least that would have reflected my mood… all this sun just depresses me even more.

She wandered through the busy streets of Tokyo, carefully making her way through the crowds of people. She was jostled this way and that; nobody seemed to see her, and if they saw her they didn't care enough to avoid her. They just kept on trying to walk through her, as if she wasn't there. What am I, invisible? All of a sudden she was shoved violently to the ground, temporarily blinded by the pain of a collision into her jawbone.

"Watch where you're going, bitch!" an angry male voice shouted at her.

Kagome picked herself up off the ground, gingerly assessing the damage done to her face. A bruise, nothing more. Wonderful. Now I'm invisible and abused. This day could not get any worse. Thankfully, Kagome saw the grocery store and ducked inside, escaping the masses of people. She grabbed a basket and unfolded the list of items she needed to buy. Wandering up and down the aisles, Kagome gathered all of the items on her mother's list until she found herself facing something she just couldn't handle.

Oh God. Kagome sank to her knees, suddenly weakened. Ramen. It seemed so stupid, but it reminded her of Inuyasha so strongly that she was flooded by a wave of pain that she just couldn't bear. For the first time since her return to her own era, Kagome began to cry. Once she started crying she couldn't stop, so she just sat there on the floor of the grocery store, sobbing uncontrollably.

Why, Inuyasha? Why did you betray me like this? I can't even go to the grocery store without being haunted by your memory, and it's not fair. I needed you and you left me alone, and now I miss you. God, I miss you so much, Inuyasha. I'm so lonely without you, and I can't stand the emptiness I feel inside.

People walked past Kagome as she sat there weeping. None of them stopped, none of them asked her if she was okay. They all just looked sympathetically at the young girl crying on the floor, and then looked away. Suddenly Kagome felt trapped in the store; she could no longer stand the sad stares of strangers. I've got to get out of here. She got up and ran out of the store, leaving her groceries behind her. She ran blindly all the way home; she flew inside, up the stairs and into her bedroom.

[Mrs. Higurashi's pov]

When she had sent her daughter out that morning Mrs. Higurashi had been hoping that it would help Kagome reestablish contact with the outside world. But one look at her daughter's bruised and tear-streaked face made her realize her mistake. I shouldn't have pushed her. She just wasn't ready yet.

With a sigh she gathered up her purse and left to go to the grocery store.

[Kagome's pov]

Kagome scooped a blanket and her pictures into her arms, then stomped down the stairs to go sit under her favorite tree. As she sat there, she thought about Inuyasha and everything that had gone on between them in the past. Staring up at the branches of the Goshinboku, she began to speak to Inuyasha as if he could hear her through the 500 year barrier.

"Through all the good times, and even the bad times, I was happy with you, Inuyasha. And I thought you were happy with me. But then you brought Kikyou to stay with us, and I knew that you had never been happy with me. I was always just a shard-detector to you, but I wanted to be so much more. I loved you, Inuyasha, and I can't bear the pain of losing you."

For the second time that day Kagome began to cry. "I miss you, Inuyasha. That's really all I can say. Nothing feels right anymore, and I don't think I can go on without you. Maybe things would be better if I… wasn't here anymore, but I don't think I can go through with it. I can't stand the thought of being gone and never having the chance to see you again, but I can't take any more pain either."

Maybe I really am a coward, but I can't bring myself to commit suicide. Sure, I want to, cause then I wouldn't have to face his memory every day, haunting and tormenting me. But to take my own life, knowing that Inuyasha's demon blood would prevent him from joining me in the afterlife? To know that I'll never see him again or get the chance to tell him how I feel? Thanks, but no thanks. I think I'll take my chances in the land of the living.

Kagome spread her blanket out and laid down upon it, staring up into the sun-kissed branches of her favorite tree. Inuyasha's tree. It was warm outside, and Kagome started to take her jacket off. She remembered the cuts on her arm just in time, however, and slipped it back on.

"I'm so lonely here without you, and my world feels empty since you're not in it. I just feel so confused, Inuyasha. I wish you were here."

Van-D: OMG you reviewed!! I'm sending you an email with some Inuyasha history in it, and hopefully that clarifies things for you. If not, let me know and I will try to help some more. So did you like it?? Hope so!!

DraGonMistress704: Of course I forgive you! I was kind of upset by your comments cause I didn't really understand where they were coming from. What did you mean by I misquoted you? If there's something wrong with something I said then I would really like to know so I can fix it. Let me know, and in the meantime I hope you enjoy this chapter. (It's longer than the last one, just for you!! wink)

Nina: Thanks! Sad is what I'm going for, so that's a great compliment!! Hopefully you like this chapter as well. But yea I'm working on 2 fanfics right now, and I might be starting another one soon. I just have so many ideas!! :D Thanks for the review!

Kashiaga: Yea, I've been in a position similar to Kagome's as well. I guess some people just deal with pain in different ways. I know people who react like Kagome did, and I know people who just got over it and were better. Anguish can do some strange things to ya though, that's for sure! Thanks for reviewing!

Megu-sama: Here's an update, just for you!! Thanks for reviewing!

Pinayazngrl: wink You read my mind! Don't worry, someone is going to come along and help Kagome out of her depression. I'm not sayin who it's gonna be, but they'll be entering in the next few chapters!! P.s. Thanks for killing Kikyou, it saves me a lot of trouble!! Lol Thanks for the review!

Swimchick1614: Here's a new chapter… It's longer, that's for sure, but I don't know if it's better than the last one. Thanks for reviewing!

Jammies2000: Oooh that's a really good idea! I think I'm going to figure out a way to put that into the story a little later on. Thanks for the suggestion!! I don't know if they'll end up back together, but I'll be sure to give them some closure eventually. Thank you so much for reviewing!

Moonlight-angel2003: Yea, I've been in a similar situation to Kagome's. But it happened a long time ago, and that's all in the past now. I've moved on and gotten better, and now I'm writing about it happening to someone else!! I think maybe authors are some very strange characters themselves… wink Thank you for the review!

ShortPoet: I agree about looking into the face of death. Sometimes a person needs to linger on the edge for a while before they can be drawn back into the three-dimensional world. It helps clarify things, and I think it makes you appreciate things more. I love Kagome's mom! I just had to put her in here cause people rarely write anything cool about her. I'm glad you liked her as well. She reminds me a little of my mom… sniffle You're awesome, and I hope you like this chapter as well. Thank you so much for reviewing!

That's all for now, everyone! You guys are great, and I really appreciate all the wonderful feedback you've given me. My reviewers are truly my inspiration. Until next time, I hope you enjoy… and PLEASE REVIEW!!!

XOXOXOXOXO Sayori-chan