A/n- Yes, back again. I want to take a sentence now to thank my long-term readers and my newbies, who I hope continue to read this till its end. That is, if there is one...

Disclaimer- Come now, you surely know. If you don't, Lord... WHERE have you been?

Rating- PG-13 for language and various themes involving closets.



Seeing Grey - Part LIV - Through a Shaded Window...



Dammit Sirius, just leave me alone!

In a classic display of premenstrual rage, the pretty Hufflepuff stormed off, leaving her former boyfriend behind. Jaw slightly ajar, he blinked once, and tilted his head a few inches to the side in bewilderment.

Poor Padfoot. Remus said with mock sympathy, planting a hand on his shoulder.

Did... Was I just... Dumped? he finally managed to say.

Remus chuckled, and tried not to smile too obviously. Yes, dear Padfoot, I believe you were.

This has to be a mistake. I mean, I... No one...

What's wrong with him? James asked as he popped out of the classroom out of the classroom, stuffing a less than respectable test in his robe pocket. Looks like he was just dumped.

He was. Remus said seriously, pursing his lips and nodding his head.

James blinked once, and raised an eyebrow.

I must be delusional. You just proclaimed that Padfoot, of all the great men of Hogwarts, was let off by a girl.

Well she sure wasn't a boy. Remus joked, smiling now. Yes, he was just dumped. Relationship came to a crashing halt through regards of the female gossip line. Sarah seemed to think that Sirius here was found in the fifth-floor broom closet with none other than Marissa Hopkins. Remus relayed.

Not bad, I wouldn't mind finding myself in a closet with her. James said offhand.

Watch it. Lily snapped, running by after someone who had taken her bag by mistake. She had perfected that art of catching James when he was saying things he shouldn't, much to his dismay.

None the less, the perfectly untrue lies, he went on, coughing slightly to conceal the sarcasm. reached Sarah. And thus, in her indignation, she threw the book at him. Literally.

He indicated Advanced Study of the Ancient Runes lying on the floor, and then a red mark on the side of Sirius pale face. Again, James nodded, and turned sympathetic.

There's a first time for everything Padfoot, fear not. he said in a brotherly manner, slinging an arm around Sirius' shoulder. He seemed not to have recovered from the shock yet, and just stared off into the corridor like a retarded beast.

Besides, every other girl in the school will be crawling back for you in about an hour, maybe less. Remus pointed out optimistically. You're the most eligible male in the whole school.

Sirius asked quietly, still not able to fathom that he had been rejected.

James agreed. Come on, lets go get lunch. I'll pick someone out for you, alright?

Sirius shrugged, and let himself be shoved along to the Great Hall.


How about her?

Nose is too big.



Come on Moony, I can do better than that. She's all... Bookish. Probably reads in her spare time.

Hey, I read in my spare time!

And he wonders why he never has a girlfriend? Sirius asked with a roll of his eyes. Remus tossed a muffin at him, and frowned.

Aw, poor baby's all hurt now. James laughed. Maybe we should find you someone-

Completely not necessary. Remus said quickly.

She's not too bad, and,-

No, really, I'm fine. he insisted.

How about Leena? I'll bet she'd go for Moony, no problem-

I'm serious-

No, I'm Sirius.

Carma just broke up with-

I don't want a girlfriend! he finally blurted out, standing to his feet. True, he successfully stopped James and Sirius from pointing out girls, though most of the Great Hall was now snickering at him without hesitation. Flustered, he sat down, and offered his two friends a glare apiece.

With obvious grins, they both shrugged, disregarding attempts to appear innocent.

Well, you do-

Don't even say it James, I swear to God...



They're driving me insane Shebea-

They have a point, little wolf.

Oh God, don't tell me you're siding with them! Remus groaned, slumping to the ground.

You are handsome, from what I have seen of males your age, and you are reaching your prime. It is time you find a suitable mate. Or, is this one of those aspects of human nature I have misinterpreted? she questioned, nudging his leg with her forehead to get his attention.

No, you're close, I guess. We don't choose mates for a few years yet, but, well, we practice. You know, to figure out what kind of person we like.

That girl you brought down here years back, she was pleasant enough. The fiery little one with the forest eyes.

Lily? No, she's just as good as the mate of my friend.

You said you did not choose for some time, did you not? she asked, blinking curiously.

They're different, I just get this feeling that they'll stay together for a long time. he explained.

You will find your mate when the time comes. Do not worry. For a human, you are quite pleasant.

Remus chuckled, and thanked her for the compliment.

I doubt I ever will find someone. he mused, looking out at the shimmering lake. My kind, werewolves, we aren't meant to have social lives. Even having a true friend is stretching the limit.

Why is that so? You are loyal, that is worth quite a lot for companions.

I'm a freak. he said very simply. Werewolves are hated and feared among men, any self-respecting person would feel the need to stay away from me. I'm an unwelcome oddity, the outsider.

Change is good though. They should learn to disregard the fact that you are different. Shebea informed him, lying down on her belly, dipping her nose into the water playfully. There used to be a strange human dog, a domestic I believe, in our pack. He looked distantly like us, but our alpha did not enjoy his presence at first. The newcomer proved his worth in a fight, and there was never a problem once he came in the pack. His difference was not an issue after that.

Man isn't as forgiving. Remus explained solemnly. I truly wish thing's were different, but I fear they never will be.

One should never give up hope. There is always a chance little wolf, do not feel let down if it takes some time to happen. Encouragingly, she rubbed against his leg, growling in a friendly way. Good things are bound to find you.

Remus smiled, and pat her head for a moment.

You're probably right... And hey, after all I've gone through, there's no possible way life can get worse. he said to himself.

Precisely... Could you scratch behind my left ear perhaps? I can never reach... Oh, thank you little wolf. she cooed, rolling up at his feet. In a few minutes, she was sleeping happily, her tail wagging enthusiastically on its own will.

Such a pity I can't find a human like you. Remus thought out loud. He stared up at the sky, watching distant stars flutter in and out of light like lost dreams.

Maybe someday.




God, I wish break would come sooner. Sirius mumbled in late April, shoving his homework aside and crossing his arms on the Common Room table.

Don't we all. Peter said with a sigh as he passed by.

Remus rested his chin in his hands, and gazed about the room distantly. James was with Lily, who he had again managed to smuggle in, off in the far corner by the fireplace. Sirius was cursing about his schoolwork nearby, surrounded by a group of fourth years playing Exploding Snape. And there was Peter, arms stacked with books and late assignments, struggling to find a free space.

Cheer up Sirius, only one more day of school and we're off. Remus reminded.

What's so cheerful about that? Alex snapped from a nearby pouf. He had his arms crossed angrily, his face plastered with a hateful scowl not amiss on a Slytherin.

You're staying here, aren't you? Remus asked, turning his seat around to face the Chaser.

I have no choice... I can't go home now, not after that Ministry raid. My parents had to flee, leaving me with a Howler and a death threat. I'm here under forced surveillance. he grumbled bitterly.

Biting his lip, Remus nodded his head. Weeks had passed since he had turned traitor on his own family, and now Alex was left as a walking soul angry with life for being so cruel. There was no display of emotion off of the Quidditch pitch, where he only showed desire to torment his opponents to the best of his growing ability.

Where are you going off to? Alex asked quietly.

I'm not really sure. Remus began. He was trying to decide what to say without offending or upsetting the boy, which seemed hard to do. I may go and stay abroad for a while... I usually just drift around. I don't have anywhere to go conditionally.

Having nowhere to go can be a blessing. Alex mused solemnly. I'd rather have nothing at all than what I've been left to face.

Avery, Lupin! Gear up, we've got a game in thirty! the seventh-year Chaser shouted above the commotion.

With tired sighs, they both stood up and went to collect their things.



Alex, what in hell are you doing? You're going to get someone killed out there! Sirius shouted as he flew by, bat raised and ready in hunt of the Bludgers.

Oh yes, I'll have to be more careful. he said to no one in particular, one moment later making a suicide-lunge at an opposing Slytherin.

Down at the goal posts, Remus shook his head sadly.

He's going to become the very thing he hates if he keeps this up. he said to himself, watching James search frantically for the Snitch. It had been decided to not fool around with an exciting game and catch the Snitch straight off to ensure their spot in the Finals. Currently, Sirius and Alex were doing a wonderful job of disregarding blueprint.

And the referee isn't going to let that one slide... Black doesn't look to happy either-No, there he goes-This will rightly develop into an all-out brawl if Gryffindor can't tone it down a notch! the announcer said joyously. Sirius and the Slytherin Beater, Andrew Knoll, were separated before anything violent occurred, much to the crowds displeasure.

James, for the sake of what's left of our House points, catch the Snitch! Remus barked out as loud as he could, quickly heading back towards the golden hoops as the Quaffle passed the half-field marker. Kayre and the seventh year, Frankie Kielts, double-teamed and stole the ball back.

Aye aye Cappie! James shouted as he made a spectacular dive towards the ground. In a scarlet blur, he sped downwards, hands stretched outwards in search of his mark.

Oh no you don't! Alex bellowed, ramming directly into the slip of emerald falling right for the Seeker. Both Chasers collided in a ferocious clap of shattered bone, each knocked from their mounts in a flash. James pulled up, Snitch in hand, a second too late to avoid becoming the bottom layer of a Quidditch player dog pile.

Lily was the first to reach the collection of intertwined limbs, and she immediately pulled her beloved free from the mess. Landing at a safe distance, Remus pushed through the other team and cringed. Arms were most definitely not intended to bend in such directions, nor were kneecaps supposed to look that particular shape.

Stand aside. Madame Pomfrey said stiffly, having hopped down from the stands. She had long since made it habit to attend every Gryffindor versus Slytherin match.

Is he going to be alright? Lily asked nervously, ignoring the reproving glares from her teammates. She seemed not to care much for her unconscious Chaser, and Remus was almost certain she was actually glad he had been knocked on the head.

That one? she laughed shortly, pointing to James. He's the least of my worries. Lad has blown himself up in every conceivable way and never harmed himself. I'm sure he'll recover in a night. No, please, move aside! she demanded again. The Slytherins were crowding her area, refusing to provide ample space to conjure a stretcher.

God job Lupin, your bloody Chaser nearly killed him!

Hey, it's not Remus' fault. Kayre defended.

And besides, Lette was going after James in the first place! Andrew pointed out, dropping his broom to the ground.

That's our fault?

And how come Alex gets the blame if Lette did the same thing?

You can't be sure he was going to-

Oh give me a break Johnson, you know damn well-

BOYS! Break it up NOW! Madame Pomfrey screeched.

They took part of her bark literally; in a manner of seconds, the majority of the surrounding Slytherin House became involved in a vicious brawl with the Gryffindors.

C'mon Remus, I could use some help! Sirius yelled as the student body poured onto the field in a massive wave, the staff being pulled along in the chaotic stampede. In a short time, there were bodies piled together, fists flying and years of House rivalry being toiled out in a bruising fight of pride and hatred.

Oh, terribly sorry. Snape said in a sarcastic drawl as he landed by his elbow right on top of Remus.

I'm sure. he grunted out, hand covering his rapidly swelling eye.

Lupin! Break this crowd up, I need to get them to the Infirmary! Madame Pomfrey pleaded, clutching onto his free arm. He was pulled through the crowd, fending to find the small ring of protection at the center mark.

Hello Lupin. Ms. Horder said wryly, screaming a second later at a pair of Ravenclaws who probably didn't know that they were fighting each other.

Nice day, isn't? he asked, finally managing to pull his wand from his pocket.

Simply fantastic. Any suggestions?

You're the Defense professor. he snorted.

And you're the inhumanly strong one used to dealing with a bunch of psychotic idiots. she fired back bitterly. It was clearly one of the moments where she was questioning her judgment in taking her job. As usual, it had something to do with the Marauders.

How about you just Levitate everyone? Best they fight in the air, lest Pomfrey can get through.

Wingardium leviosa! the surrounding professors and more passive students shouted. A good thirty members of mixed Houses hovered above in the air, temporarily confused and frightened out of their wits. Little by little, a path was cleared, and Remus played bodyguard with a Hufflepuff girl to escort the two stretchers and a disoriented James away from the throng.



Ow! Dammit Padfoot, be careful with that stuff. Remus snapped, sucking in a sharp breath of air.

Do you want it to heal quick or not? Sirius countered, frowning. It's not like I enjoy having this crud all over the place. If you haven't noticed it smells extremely foul.

He set down the small container of healing goop' as he called it, and flicked a tiny bit on the cut above Remus' brow.

he concluded, wiping his hands on his pants.

Ow ow ow... Remus whined, biting on his lip as the gap of skin closed painfully, weaving itself back in thread with the other side of flesh. That stuff is so... Itchy. he decided, wanting very much to dig his nail into the closing wound.

It'll just open again if you scratch at it, and Pomfrey's busy for at least a week. We need to improvise. he said. Just be glad you're not James. Lily will NOT let him avoid taking a drop of the nurse's medicine.

Poor chap, she'll be the death of him...

Where the hell is Prongs anyway?

You'd rather not know. said Sirius, a tiny grin escaping.

Uhg, sick. I wish they'd not do that somewhere I might later end up...

Fear not, they've found their own closets to, erm, study in. he said with a shrug. Like last week, there's this-

No, that's more than enough. Remus interrupted, rubbing at his brow again. I'd rather take another round of the Quidditch riot than hear the rest of that tale.

Suit yourself.



Where'd Alex run off to this time? Surely he didn't leave already. James asked curiously, peering around the table.

You mean he isn't here? Remus questioned, craning his neck to see down the far end. It was very unusual to find one student missing from breakfast at any time.

No, hes ishn't. James said with difficulty, trying to shovel food into his mouth with his good arm in a sling.

He was supposed to stay here though. Remus remembered.

Nah, he's in the Infirmary. Sirius reminded. He got hit really hard, I doubt they'd let him out too soon.

James interrupted, setting down his glass of juice. He wasn't there this morning, but some older guy was. Tall, really stiff looking chap, he kept glaring the death at me... I think he was Alex's father, him n' the older Avery boy looked dead-replicate for each other.

Remus chocked on a bite of his own creation, a bacon and ham on roll breakfast slop, and blinked.

Sirius burst out laughing, managing to say Oh Lord, you should see your face! It's-

I have to go. Remus interjected, tossing the remains of his meal on the table and sprinting off. Sirius and James shrugged, and went back to flicking candies at Peter when he wasn't looking.



Lupin, what in devils name are you... Are you ill son? You look dreadfully pale. Here, let me-

Madame Pomfrey, do you know where Alex Avery went to? he said very quickly.

Oh, the Quidditch lad. she said after a slight pause, frowning disapprovingly. His father took him home for the holidays this morning. Poor dear was still knocked out from the Sleeping Drought, a- Lupin? Where are you go-

He was out the door before she had another second to stare quizzically at him.



Come on! Let me IN! Remus shouted, banging on the office door. He had run all the way to the gargoyle on the third floor before he realised he had no password, and the only other way he could reach a teacher alone was to find Professor Forson.

Let me in, it's an emergency! he yelled. Urgently, he slammed his fist against the door again, leaving a small dent as mark of his concern. After a round of insistent banging, Professor Forson finally opened the door, armed with a wand and an intense scowl.

Lupin? What the hell do you want, it's lunch time-

Alex Avery's father came and took him- Remus blurted out all at once. He stopped, took in a breath, and lowered his hands from the air where the door had been.

So he was picked up for the holidays, that's nothing-

His father's involved in the Dark movement. Remus said as calmly as he could, though still stressing the danger of the situation.

The Potions Master showed no signs that he had even heard what was said. With a pained grimace, Remus repeated his news.

And you expect me to do something? he said dryly.

He stared. A students life was in danger, and the bastard was calmly crossing his arms. Calmly crossing his arms! Remus had to use more self-control than he knew he possessed just to not jump the git right there against the wall.

He could get killed!

The Avery's have been involved in the Dark Arts since before Dumbledore was born. The Ministry knows this, I know this, and apparently you do as well. I was as shocked as any other professor to see him a Gryffindor, since there has not been one deviation from the Snakes in over a hundred fifty years' time. Forson said monotonously, glaring violently. The icy gaze instantly silence Remus' outrage, though his knuckles remained white in clenched anger.

You cannot expect anyone, not even Dumbledore himself, to march in there and take custody of the black sheep. he compared, momentarily letting the glare fall. This is not your battle to choose.

You don't expect him to come back. Remus said quietly, in a tone of mixed hatred and sorrow. I... I can't believe you, he's your student, Christ... He's a kid! He isn't any older than me, and you expect him to fend from a bunch of Dark wizards, let alone his own family? he asked rhetorically, shaking his head in denial. He couldn't, and... He never would.

This is war. This is how life is going to be, kid. You're too young to realise that-

I may be young, but I sure as hell understand injustice. Remus whispered, not directing the words at his elder. He didn't notice Forsons slight frown and nod, as he had his eyes locked on the ground, not focusing on anything at all.

What's to become of him? he asked after a very long silence in which Forson stared distantly, displeased that his time was being wasted. He knew better than to force away a werewolf though, so he remained at guard.

You know, unconsciously possibly. Forson said in an eerily gentle tone that did not suite his stature.

He wont be coming back over Easter. Remus told the floor. His family, I can't believe they'd do that, their own son...

Believe it Lupin, it's all you'll face soon enough.



Why can't we all be a family again? Remus asked tenderly, munching on the bag of potato crisps his brother had borrowed from the store nearby.

The police'll try to break us up. We can't go back. Romolus informed quietly, looking at the colourful horizon. So don't even try to run home again. I'm not going to chase after you next time.

Mum will keep us. She loves me, she said so. She promised. Remus shot back, sticking out his lip. Mummy wouldn't lie.

Romolus, still only a small boy, shut his eyes to block out the truth. He didn't want to face it, to know what was real.

Rem, try to understand. Mum can't take care of you anymore, and the police will think you hurt Dad on purpose.

I didn't mean to. I couldn't... I couldn't help myself Rom, he was... And I-I didn't-the wolf, I tried to stop...

Rem, don't cry, come on, please. You're too old to cry, no, Remus- Alright, come here.

He embraced the shaking child for some time, letting the tears stain his dirty shirt. After a long sniff, Remus drew back, and rubbed his eyes clean, trying to pretend he was still being tough.

You really need to stop crying all the time little brother, you're too old for that. Romolus said.

C'we at least go say bye to mum? I miss her. I wanna say g'bye, if we're gonna go away. he mumbled, managing to look up. Not gonna be weak in front'a Rom.' he told himself.

I really don't think that's a good idea... Romolus began, but tried to close his eyes. Do you always have to give me that look? Uhg, alright. We can go say goodbye or something, I need some of my old clothes anyway. Maybe I can snatch some Sickles. he said practically, smiling at his excited sibling.

It's just a quick visit, got it?

Remus squealed in delight, and hugged his brother around the waist.


Go away, please. I... I'm sorry Romolus, just-Just go!

The door slammed shut, shattering the hopes of a small boy as it went.

Is mum mad at me? he asked pathetically, tugging at Rom's sleeve.

Of course not, she just has another headache. the elder boy rationalized. Seeing the pleading youngsters face, he produced a false smile, and stepped inside the house after magicking away the lock.

Remus pressed his ear against the door crack, and held his breath.

Mum, you can't be serious! Where are we supposed to go?

Get out of here. the mother whispered, not turning to face her son.

I have nowhere to take him, not... He might hurt someone else.

A sharp intake of breath, and a shaky finger pointed to a drawer by the sink.

Take your fathers Gringots key and get out of here. I don't want to see you again, and don't bring... Don't bring him back.

Mum, he didn't mean to. Romolus said, dropping his voice. You know he would never hurt anyone.

Mrs. Lupin barked, sobbing briefly. Look where that got your father. He killed him Romolus. He's dead. They think I did it, and I have no where to go.

Come with us. I can't take care of him, I can't take care of myself. We need each other. he persuaded, sounding so old it seemed wrong, so ungodly for a child to make such tones and thoughts.

Get out. she breathed into the dim light of the night. Get out!

Remus jumped at the sharp scream, and thrust his hands to his pockets, pulling at the fabric for security. A second later, Romolus came out, told him to wait still, and he again went inside.

he asked, creeping the door open. His beloved mother, clad in her warm, floral print dress, was shoved against the broken dishwasher, crying desperately into her hands.

Mummy, what's wrong? he questioned, walking over and gently prying her hands away. Why, tears had stained her lovely face! What had been so terrible as to make his mother so sad?

It's alright mum, I'm right here. he exclaimed, not understanding he was the ground of the problem. We can be a family again. Don't cry mum.

GO AWAY! she bellowed out, swinging her hands. It connected, and Remus was tossed back onto his old kitchen table. Except, it wasn't his anymore. The thought clicked, and before the tearful woman could gasp in horror of herself, her eldest son was gone, the other slung about his shoulder.

Thanks mum, ruin his life even more. Romolus snapped as he slammed the door in her face.

Why doesn't mum love me anymore? the boy asked, climbing down from his brothers support on his own. A broken wreck, he didn't wait for an answer, and shed a final tear in the beginning of understanding.

We don't need her anymore. Dry your eyes Remus, c'mon, let's just go now.


I've been facing it my whole life. he murmured. With flickering shadows cast around, the faded reply of dancing flames, Remus returned to the comfort he found in silence.




A/n- I think it got a bit angsty at the end. Compensation for my previously lighter chapters I suppose. Well, hoped you enjoyed!


SPECIAL NOTE- To all those how keep pointing out my lose-loose PROBLEM, I'm working on it! My peice-of-dung spell checker automatically changes it to the wrong one at times, I'm convinced... I know the difference, I'm just too lazy to really beta-read. :) But thanks anyway, and keep the grammar alerts coming!

Iggie

Fic of the Day- Uric the Oddball and the Wild Hunt by Ariana Deralte: Before Dumbledore, before Dippet, there was... Uric the Oddball? It's 1680 and one very strange boy is coming to Hogwarts. And here we thought the Marauders were troublesome...