Oh the insanity. The songs mentioned are property of their respective
artists.
...
The Misadventures of Ky Kiske
Subchapter 3: AIKN
...
Mancervantes, personal manservant of Samael Tsuzuku walked down the hallway. He was dressed in his usual tuxedo, walking as stiff as a board. His dark eyes grew weary as his gray hair grew whiter. Obviously, something was troubling him. Maybe what was troubling him was that someone else was troubled. He is faithful to Samael. He would gladly go to the ends of the earths with him. But recently, he has been worried about him.
Samael was growing weaker and weaker everyday. The fire in his punches was diminishing. The great hatred in his eyes, vanishing. He wanted to help Samael achieve his one goal: to see his brother Sho as nothing more as a greasy smear on his fist. But the past battles with Sho had been...demoralizing. Especially after his loss at "The Wedding Night 2." He wanted to help. But his green hypnotic eye beam could only do so much. When he reached a door, he sighed. He knocked.
"Come on in."
He entered the hotel room. There he was. The evil side of Sho Tsuzuku. Bane of fanfiction writers everywhere. The most feared barbarian in the land. Samael Tsuzuku. Cargo Pants. Muscle Shirt. Sneakers. Bling Bling. Cap. He was dressed in some hip, modern, fashionable clothes. Not like all the Chinese robes he wears all the time. He looked troubled as he stared out the window.
"Are you ready sir?"
"Yeah. How about you?"
"I am fine as I am sir."
"Suit yourself."
He continued to glare out the window.
"Sir...If I may..." said Mancervantes as he dared to break the silence.
"You are stronger and more powerful than you fat cat brother will ever be. His influence can't protect him forever. He will fall. We just have to keep trying..."
Samael began sniggering. This startled Mancervantes. With the exception of Sullia, Tsuzukus DON'T laugh. Samael turned to Mancervantes.
"You know what Van? I really don't care right now. I just want to enjoy tonight. This is the one night my stupid brother and me can be within 2 miles of each other without destroying everything within that radius. Lets just chill for tonight alright?"
He walked up to Mancervantes and patted him on the shoulder. Van smirked.
"So be it sir."
"Great! Lets go! If we hurry, we can get you properly outfitted at Bench before it begins! Lets go Van!"
"Um, sir, I really don't..."
"I SAID lets go VAN!"
He rolled his eyes and the two ran out to the elevator.
...
...
Once every year, a very disturbing phenomenon occurs. It is one that continues to baffle writers everywhere. It is dangerous, yet fabulous. No one knows why or how it happens. No one knows and no one cares. They just enjoy this wondrous occasion with all of their energy and wake up the next morning regretting like a hangover from October fest.
If you are continuing to read this, I am assuming you are ready for the madness that looms. Very well then, let me explain how it works. Once every once in a while, the author universes, all of the endless universes made by all of the author's imagination, align. No one knows the exact date. Once it does, a mysterious energy streaks through all the universes. It illuminates and shines every planet it passes by. The mysterious lightshow remains there for 2-3 minutes then it is gone. At first, nothing happens. Then a strange sensation surges through all of the author inserts. It is an indescribable feeling. What happens is that they DROP whatever they are doing. Whether they are fighting a war, drawing a dramatic conclusion to their fanfic, in a Camille Vidan state, stuck in TarAUTHORus, expanding an evil empire, whatever, IT IS STOPPED. Until the event is over, everything is put to a temporal STOP.
Then they disappear. All of the author inserts disappear. After wards, an equally strange sensation runs through the bodies of all the characters. They also drop whatever they are doing and MOVE. They run, they drive cars they board space ships, whatever form of transport they have available at the moment they use and ALL of the characters, original, cameos, original cast, character variation, they ALL move to one spot. Once they reach there, they wait... They wait in unbearable anticipation.
The venue for this event is Sho Town. All of the people are converging at one huge stadium. Let us bear witness to this dangerous but fabulous event.
"GOOD EVENING EVERYONE! Welcome to the show! I'm Nik Hasta and I will be your host for tonight! Wow, this AIKN seems to be the biggest one yet! Anyone who is anyone is coming to show up! The Get Backers! The King of Fighters! Shadow-Law! Nerima Crew! MITHRIL! NERV! Justice High School! Man! Everyone is really here! Oh, you can bet that tonight will be the biggest show yet! You can just die of the anticipation! Outside, lines are still long as more and more people crash into the stadium! Lots of useless crap and unhealthy food is being sold by the sponsors! I would like to take this opportunity to thank them! Slayer Corp! Making your fantasies come true...eventually! Conglomo! We own you! Brain Trust! We ownz you too! Masters/Garcia foundation! We believe every loose woman deserves a good time! And dimension travels! See the beautiful wasteland known as Sheo Darren's world, disastrous marriage capital of the whole fanfic continuum, at discount prices! Hurry before Wedding season is over! Oh...OH! The lights are darkening! Its happening! Its happening! Everyone! Brace yourself for...
AUTHOR INSERT KARAOKE NIGHT!
The crowd went wild as the lights dimmed. Soon they sea of people was enveloped by a sea of darkness. A lone spot light dared to pierce the darkness. It illuminated a singular man. He wore a white jacket over his black shirt. He wore jeans and rubber shoes. Bling bling hung over his neck as a pimp hat covered his face. He raised his hands into a peace sign as he raised his head.
Now,um,usually I dont do this but uh....Go head' on and break em off wit a lil' preview of the remix....
Tsuzuku broke into a smooth dance as the music played. The crowd went wild.The sudden flash of light revealed a huge array of characters performing as back up dancers for Sho. They included Gau Ban, Ranma Saotome, his two secretaries Vice and Mature, Ryo Sakazaki, Andy Bogart, Kenshiro and Haru Glory. They joined Sho in his clubby performance that kicked off AIKN.
No I'm not tryin to be rude,
But hey pretty girl I'm feelin you
The way you do the things you do
Remind me of my Lexus coup
Thats why im all up in yo grill
Tryina get you to a hotel
You must be a football coach
The way you got me playin the field
So baby gimme that toot toot
Lemme give you that beep beep
Runnin her hands through my 'fro
Bouncin on 24's
While they say on the radio...
It's the remix to ignition
Hot and fresh out the kitchen
Mama rollin that body
got every man in here wishin
Sippin on coke and rum
I'm like so what I'm drunk
It's the freakin weekend baby
I'm about to have me some fun
Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce
Now it's like murder she wrote
Once I get you out them clothes
Privacy is on the door
Still they can hear you screamin more
Girl I'm feelin what you feelin
No more hopin and wishin
I'm bout to take my key and
Stick it in the ignition
So baby gimme that toot toot
Lemme give you that beep beep
Runnin her hands through my 'fro
Bouncin on 24's
While they say on the radio...
This is the remix to ignition
Hot and fresh out the kitchen
Mama rollin that body
Got every man in here wishin
Sippin on coke and rum
I'm like so what i'm drunk
It's the freakin weekend baby
I'm about to have me some fun
Crystall poppin in the stretch Navigator
We got food every where
As if the party was catored
We got fellas to my left
Hunnies on my right
We bring em both together we got junkin all night
Then after the show its the (after party)
And after the party its the (hotel lobby)
And round about 4 you gotta (clear the lobby)
Then head take it to the room and freak somebody
Can I get a toot toot
Can I get a beep beep
Runnin her hands through my 'fro
Bouncin on 24's
While they say on the radio...
This is the remix to ignition
Hot and fresh out the kitchen
Mama rollin that body
Got every man in here wishin
Sippin on coke and rum
I'm like so what I'm drunk
It's the freakin weekend baby
I'm about to have me some fun
This is the remix to ignition
Hot and fresh out the kitchen
Mama rollin that body
Got every man in here wishin
Sippin on coke and rum
I'm like so what I'm drunk
It's the freakin weekend baby
I'm about to have me some fun
Girl we off in this jeep
Foggin windows up
Blastin the radio
In the back of my truck
Bouncin up and down
Stroke it round and round
To the remix
We just thuggin it out...
The music faded as the lights did, but a solitary spot light stayed on Sho. He then stood up straight violently, breaking everyone's beat. Then, lasers started firing
"Peace up. Sho town."
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
This time, six other spotlights came out with each beat, showing the other author inserts joining Sho in his second song.
YEAH YEAH YEAH
Shorty got down, said come get me...
YEAH YEAH YEAH
My baby girl, knew best to hold me
YEAH YEAH YEAH
I was so caught up forgot she told me
YEAH YEAH YEAH
Next thing I knew, she was all up on me screaming...
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
One of the authors stepped up in front. It was Zam
Take that! Rewind it back! Sho T. is the pimp that make your booty go CLAP
Take that! Rewind it back! 'vader-Zam got the beat that make your booty go CLAP
Take that! Rewind it back! Sheo Darren got the flow that make your booty go CLAP
Take that! Rewind it back! Lone Wolf got the voice that make your booty go CLAP
Take that! Rewind it back! Person got the funk that make your booty go CLAP
Take that! Rewind it back! Shady Guy got the groove that make your booty go CLAP
Take that! Rewind it back! Ichiko got the moves that make your booty go CLAP
As the blackness faded, a band played. It consisted of three guitarists. Sol and Benimaru made up the first two. Leading them was the Shady Guy. The trench coat that covered his entire body didn't seem to hinder him from singing like a guy who ate a couple of jalapenos.
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around since I was born.
And now it's all right. It's OK. And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand the New York Times' effect on man.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin', and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhlive.
Well now, I get low and I get high, and if I can't get either, I really try.
Got the wings of heaven on my shoes. I'm a dancin' man and I just can't lose.
You know it's all right. It's OK. I'll live to see another day.
We can try to understand the New York Times' effect on man.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin', and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alaaaaaahhhhive.
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me. Somebody help me, yeah.
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me. Somebody help me, yeah. Stayin' alive.
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around since I was born.
And now it's all right. It's OK. And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand the New York Times' effect on man.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin', and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me. Somebody help me, yeah.
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me, yeah. I'm stayin' alive.
An upbeat tone filled the arena as the next performer came up. He wore a leather jacket, a black shirt and jeans. He looked like the back street boy they left behind. As the time for the lyrics came, Sheo Darren lifted up his microphone. At the back, Tessa, Kirikia and Rei were providing back-up voices.
daisuki to omou kara ne kizutsu ittari tomadottari
tsumetai hoho wo yose atte kokoro ga umareta
itsumo ima sugu ni aitai
mukuchi ni naruhodo suki yo yasashi sa doushitara mieru no
dakishimete motto tsuyoku atataka na mune wo shinjiru yo
sayonara solitia ashita he
chiisana watashi dakara zenbu demo tarinai yone
nanni mo kakusanai te anata ni agetai
mada shiroi yoake wo miokutte
konnani daiji na hito ni doushite meguri aetano to
itai hodo tsunagu yubi de sabishi sa kieme yume wo miru no
sayonara solitia
mou hitori jyanai kara ashita mezameru no anata to
daisuki na hito dakara ne sobani iru mamotteru
anata he tsunagaru daichi ni umerete yokatta
A bigger performance greeted the audience. You could tell from the number of characters on stage. Lobelia Carlini played on the lead guitar, showcasing a hidden talent. Heather Mason jammed on the drums. Puss and Whip played the second guitars and Raphael strummed on bass. Helena Douglas, Mina Majikina, Lenneth Valkyrie and Hibya provided back up voices. Zell Dincht, Yoshitora Tokugawa and Ivy played various brass instruments. Ivader-Zam4 walked up on stage, greeted by a roaring audience. Unlike he's other colleagues who were dressed in hip-hop outfits, he came in his robe and kilt, twirling his staff. As he approached the center of the stage the staff glowed as the ornamental outfit magically stripped itself to show Zam in a black shirt and a dark green unbuttoned polo. Khaki pants were revealed under the kilt and black sneakers. Then the staff turned into a microphone stand.
Man it's a hot one
Like seven inches from the midday sun
I hear you whisper & the words melt everyone
But you stay so cool
My munequita, my Spanish Harlem Mona Lisa
You're my reason for reason
The step in my groove
And if you said this life ain't good enough
I would give my world to lift you up
I could change my life to better suit your mood
'Cause you're so smooth
And it's just like the ocean under the moon
it's the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth
Gimme your heart, make it real
Or else forget about it
I'll tell you one thing
If you would leave it would be a crying shame
In every breath and every word
I hear your name calling me out
Out from the barrio
you hear my rhythm on your radio
You feel the turning of the world so soft and slow
Turning you round and round
And if you said this life ain't good enough
I would give my world to lift you up
I could change my life to better suit your mood
Cause you're so smooth
And it's just like the ocean under the moon
it's the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kind of lovin that can be so smooth
Gimme your heart, make it real
Or else forget about it
The next performance was that of a band called 3vil l33t. Largo jammed on drums, Dom on bass and Ed on guitar. Taka Ichiko doing vocals with blood- shot open eyes and marionette movements. He looked like he was on drugs.
Wake up
Grab a brush and put a little (makeup) Grab a brush and put a little Hide the scars to fade away the (shakeup) Hide the scars to fade away. why'd you leave the keys upon the table? Here you go create another fable. (You wanted to) grab a brush and put a little makeup. (You wanted to) hide the scars to fade away the shakeup. (You wanted to) why'd you leave the keys upon the table? (You wanted to)
I don't think you trust
In, my, self righteous suicide
I, cry, when angels deserve to die, die
Wake up grab a brush and put a little (makeup). Grab a brush and put a little. Hide the scars to fade away the (shakeup). Hide the scars to fade away the. Why'd you leave the keys upon the table? Here you go create another fable. (You wanted to) Grab a brush and put a little makeup (You wanted to) Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup (You wanted to) Why'd you leave the keys upon the table? (You wanted to)
I don't think you trust
In, my, self righteous suicide
I, cry, when angels deserve to die
In, my, self righteous suicide
I, cry, when angels deserve to die
FATHER, FATHER, FATHER, FATHER
Father into your hands, I commend my spirit
Father into your hands
Why have you forsaken me
In your eyes forsaken me
In your thoughts forsaken me
In your heart forsaken, me oh
Trust in my self righteous suicide
I, cry, when angels deserve to die
In my self righteous suicide
I, cry, when angels deserve to die
The time, the stage changed. There were props and the background was a balcony. It was like a scene from a play. From the balcony, Lone Wolf, dressed in an Armani outfit, was frozen in a mosaic with Hibiki Takane, who was in an elegant night gown. Then, without warning, Lone Wolf spoke
[Lone Wolf:]
Love is a many splendored thing,
Love lifts us up where we belong,
All you need is love!
[Hibiki:]
Please, don't start that again
[LWN:]
All you need is love!
[Hibiki:]
A girl has got to eat!
[LWN:]
All you need is love!
[Hibiki:]
She'll end up on the street! (sigh)
[LWN:]
All you need is looooove!
[Hibiki:]
Love is just a game.
(Music started playing)
[LWN:]
I was made for loving you baby,
You were made for loving me.
[Hibiki:]
The only way of loving me baby,
Is to pay a lovely fee.
[LWN:]
Just one night,
Give me just one night.
[Hibiki:]
There's no way,
Cause you can't pay.
[LWN:]
In the name of love!
One night in the name of love!
[Hibiki:]
You crazy fool,
I won't give in to you.
[LWN:]
Don't, leave me this way.
I can't survive, without your sweet love,
Oh baby, don't leave me this way.
[Hibiki:]
You'd think that people would've had enough of silly love songs...
[LWN:] I look around me and I see it isn't so, oh no.
[Hibiki:]
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs
[LWN:]
Well what's wrong with that?
I like to know.
Cause here I go... again...
Love lifts us up where we belong!
Where eagles fly,
On a mountain high!
[Hibiki:]
Love makes us act like we are fools.
Throw our lives away,
For one happy day.
[LWN:]
We could be heroes...
Just for one day.
[Hibiki:]
You, you will be mean.
[LWN:]
No, I won't.
[Hibiki:]
(sigh) And I, I'll drink all the time.
[LWN:]
We should be lovers...
[Hibiki:]
We can't do that.
[LWN:]
We should be lovers!
And that's a fact.
Though nothing, would keep us together.
[LWN:]
We could steal time...
[LWN & Hibiki:]
Just for one day.
We could be heroes,
Forever and ever,
We could be heroes,
Forever and ever,
We can be heroes...
[LWN:]
Just because I... will always love you...
[Hibiki:]
I...
[LWN & Hibiki:]
...Can't help loving...
[LWN:]
...You...
[Hibiki:]
How wonderful life is,
[LWN and Hibiki:]
Now you're in, the world...
Massive applause. For the next performance, another band played. A famous band though, comprised of a stuffed toy Noodle playing guitar? A stuff toy Murdoc playing bass? Stuff toy Russell playing drums? And Person with many aliases?
Everybody's here with me
(we) Got no camera to see
Don't think I'm not all in this world
The camera won't let me go
And the verdict doesn't love our soul
The digital won't let me go
Yeah yeah yeah
I'll pay (yeah yeah yeah)
When tomorrow
Tomorrow comes today
Stereo I want it on
It's taken me far too long
Don't think I'm not all in this world
I don't think I'll be here too long
I don't think I'll be here too long
I don't think I'll be here too long
Yeah yeah yeah
I'll pay
When tomorrow
Tomorrow comes today
(Da da da da da da da)
It was time for the last part. Sheo grabbed his drumsticks as Zam grabbed his electric guitar. The two hurried off to the stage. Meanwhile, Sho approached Shady Guy.
"Sho! We gotta problem!" he said in a very hoarse voice.
"What's up? Were almost on!"
"I cant raise my voice anymore!"
"What?!"
"I've lost it in my song! What are we going to do? What about the finale?"
"Don't worry." Sho said in a suspiciously kind voice as he put his arms on his shoulder. "Leave it up to me."
Then with all his might, he kneed Shady Guy on the balls. He fell. He writhed in agony.
"That's the last time I am writing another one of your STUPID CAPTAIN'S LOG!"
Sho stormed off to get his bass, muttering something about Canadian pinewood. Then with a child's voice, Plave said...
"thank you...sho."
The crowd waited in unbearable anticipation in THE DARKNESS for the final act of AIKN. The stadium began modifying itself. Where the center of the crowd was, it began to move. The people stumbled as a huge hole opened in the dead center of the stadium. From the hole, a big gigantic smiling Buddha statue appeared. Its arms moved up and they formed victory signs. Then, a blue platform appeared on top of it. Four spotlights appeared. Sheo Darren as the trying not to be but still is wacky drummer. Sho Tsuzuku as the stone faced bassist. Invader-Zam4 as the guitarist who looked like he came from a pot session. And Plave as the infamous vocalist/guitarist. As Zam began strumming, Plave approached the mike.
Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel
My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel.
WOH
Touching you,
WOH
Touching me,
WOH
Touching you, GOD your touching me
I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love. Ooh! Huh!
I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day
You got me in a spin but everything is A-O.K!
WOH
Touching you,
WOH
Touching me
WOH
Touching you god your touching me
I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
Ooh! Guitar!
As Zam begins jamming, a giant slowly approaches the stadium with a malicious glare.
WOH
Touching you,
WOH
Touching me
WOH
Touching you, god you're touching me
I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
Ooh!
Just then, the giant's chest cavity fell down. It revealed a fleshy red skin. Just then, ADV tentacles flew out of its body and flew into the stadium's skylight. It descended down to attack the four author inserts. Upon seeing this, Zam, quickly enchanted their instruments with electricity. Zam, Plave and Sho kept the tentacles away by playing their guitars, which fired electricity. When one tentacle got through, Sheo would whack it with his drumsticks. As the song neared the end, Plave raised his hand and everyone could open his wide, open teeth. With the last beat, the three jumped and sent one last HUGE burst of electricity up the tentacles, to the giant, causing it to explode.
Another successful AIKN
Disclaimer: Once again: Ignition (Remix), Yeah, Stayin' Alive, Elephant Love Medley, Tomorrow Comes Today, Chop Suey, Smooth, I Believe In A Thing Called Love and Sayonara Solitia are not mine. Their respective artists own them.
Preview: Konichiwa mina-san! Sullia here! Wow, I didn't know Sho-onichan could dance so well! Wanna hear something weird? Zam-san or his agents didn't appear for the after party. He always comes when beer is involved. I wonder if something happened to him. Anyway, its time to get back to school! Oh! It's parent teacher night! I hope Sho can come I did give him the letter. I want him to meet my teacher and my guidance counselor! They are both very funny people. When my teacher is around, winds blow from all direction, so his classes are always cool! And whenever I go to my guidance counselor's office to bum around, he is always cleaning milk that is spattered all over the office. Funny huh? Oh no! I'm late for work! Oh dear, Shady Guy's probably gonna make me do overtime, inventorying the sex toys again. Next time on the Misadventures of Ky Kiske: Subchapter 4: Welcome to Sho U! Where we SHOW YOU how its done!
...
The Misadventures of Ky Kiske
Subchapter 3: AIKN
...
Mancervantes, personal manservant of Samael Tsuzuku walked down the hallway. He was dressed in his usual tuxedo, walking as stiff as a board. His dark eyes grew weary as his gray hair grew whiter. Obviously, something was troubling him. Maybe what was troubling him was that someone else was troubled. He is faithful to Samael. He would gladly go to the ends of the earths with him. But recently, he has been worried about him.
Samael was growing weaker and weaker everyday. The fire in his punches was diminishing. The great hatred in his eyes, vanishing. He wanted to help Samael achieve his one goal: to see his brother Sho as nothing more as a greasy smear on his fist. But the past battles with Sho had been...demoralizing. Especially after his loss at "The Wedding Night 2." He wanted to help. But his green hypnotic eye beam could only do so much. When he reached a door, he sighed. He knocked.
"Come on in."
He entered the hotel room. There he was. The evil side of Sho Tsuzuku. Bane of fanfiction writers everywhere. The most feared barbarian in the land. Samael Tsuzuku. Cargo Pants. Muscle Shirt. Sneakers. Bling Bling. Cap. He was dressed in some hip, modern, fashionable clothes. Not like all the Chinese robes he wears all the time. He looked troubled as he stared out the window.
"Are you ready sir?"
"Yeah. How about you?"
"I am fine as I am sir."
"Suit yourself."
He continued to glare out the window.
"Sir...If I may..." said Mancervantes as he dared to break the silence.
"You are stronger and more powerful than you fat cat brother will ever be. His influence can't protect him forever. He will fall. We just have to keep trying..."
Samael began sniggering. This startled Mancervantes. With the exception of Sullia, Tsuzukus DON'T laugh. Samael turned to Mancervantes.
"You know what Van? I really don't care right now. I just want to enjoy tonight. This is the one night my stupid brother and me can be within 2 miles of each other without destroying everything within that radius. Lets just chill for tonight alright?"
He walked up to Mancervantes and patted him on the shoulder. Van smirked.
"So be it sir."
"Great! Lets go! If we hurry, we can get you properly outfitted at Bench before it begins! Lets go Van!"
"Um, sir, I really don't..."
"I SAID lets go VAN!"
He rolled his eyes and the two ran out to the elevator.
...
...
Once every year, a very disturbing phenomenon occurs. It is one that continues to baffle writers everywhere. It is dangerous, yet fabulous. No one knows why or how it happens. No one knows and no one cares. They just enjoy this wondrous occasion with all of their energy and wake up the next morning regretting like a hangover from October fest.
If you are continuing to read this, I am assuming you are ready for the madness that looms. Very well then, let me explain how it works. Once every once in a while, the author universes, all of the endless universes made by all of the author's imagination, align. No one knows the exact date. Once it does, a mysterious energy streaks through all the universes. It illuminates and shines every planet it passes by. The mysterious lightshow remains there for 2-3 minutes then it is gone. At first, nothing happens. Then a strange sensation surges through all of the author inserts. It is an indescribable feeling. What happens is that they DROP whatever they are doing. Whether they are fighting a war, drawing a dramatic conclusion to their fanfic, in a Camille Vidan state, stuck in TarAUTHORus, expanding an evil empire, whatever, IT IS STOPPED. Until the event is over, everything is put to a temporal STOP.
Then they disappear. All of the author inserts disappear. After wards, an equally strange sensation runs through the bodies of all the characters. They also drop whatever they are doing and MOVE. They run, they drive cars they board space ships, whatever form of transport they have available at the moment they use and ALL of the characters, original, cameos, original cast, character variation, they ALL move to one spot. Once they reach there, they wait... They wait in unbearable anticipation.
The venue for this event is Sho Town. All of the people are converging at one huge stadium. Let us bear witness to this dangerous but fabulous event.
"GOOD EVENING EVERYONE! Welcome to the show! I'm Nik Hasta and I will be your host for tonight! Wow, this AIKN seems to be the biggest one yet! Anyone who is anyone is coming to show up! The Get Backers! The King of Fighters! Shadow-Law! Nerima Crew! MITHRIL! NERV! Justice High School! Man! Everyone is really here! Oh, you can bet that tonight will be the biggest show yet! You can just die of the anticipation! Outside, lines are still long as more and more people crash into the stadium! Lots of useless crap and unhealthy food is being sold by the sponsors! I would like to take this opportunity to thank them! Slayer Corp! Making your fantasies come true...eventually! Conglomo! We own you! Brain Trust! We ownz you too! Masters/Garcia foundation! We believe every loose woman deserves a good time! And dimension travels! See the beautiful wasteland known as Sheo Darren's world, disastrous marriage capital of the whole fanfic continuum, at discount prices! Hurry before Wedding season is over! Oh...OH! The lights are darkening! Its happening! Its happening! Everyone! Brace yourself for...
AUTHOR INSERT KARAOKE NIGHT!
The crowd went wild as the lights dimmed. Soon they sea of people was enveloped by a sea of darkness. A lone spot light dared to pierce the darkness. It illuminated a singular man. He wore a white jacket over his black shirt. He wore jeans and rubber shoes. Bling bling hung over his neck as a pimp hat covered his face. He raised his hands into a peace sign as he raised his head.
Now,um,usually I dont do this but uh....Go head' on and break em off wit a lil' preview of the remix....
Tsuzuku broke into a smooth dance as the music played. The crowd went wild.The sudden flash of light revealed a huge array of characters performing as back up dancers for Sho. They included Gau Ban, Ranma Saotome, his two secretaries Vice and Mature, Ryo Sakazaki, Andy Bogart, Kenshiro and Haru Glory. They joined Sho in his clubby performance that kicked off AIKN.
No I'm not tryin to be rude,
But hey pretty girl I'm feelin you
The way you do the things you do
Remind me of my Lexus coup
Thats why im all up in yo grill
Tryina get you to a hotel
You must be a football coach
The way you got me playin the field
So baby gimme that toot toot
Lemme give you that beep beep
Runnin her hands through my 'fro
Bouncin on 24's
While they say on the radio...
It's the remix to ignition
Hot and fresh out the kitchen
Mama rollin that body
got every man in here wishin
Sippin on coke and rum
I'm like so what I'm drunk
It's the freakin weekend baby
I'm about to have me some fun
Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce
Now it's like murder she wrote
Once I get you out them clothes
Privacy is on the door
Still they can hear you screamin more
Girl I'm feelin what you feelin
No more hopin and wishin
I'm bout to take my key and
Stick it in the ignition
So baby gimme that toot toot
Lemme give you that beep beep
Runnin her hands through my 'fro
Bouncin on 24's
While they say on the radio...
This is the remix to ignition
Hot and fresh out the kitchen
Mama rollin that body
Got every man in here wishin
Sippin on coke and rum
I'm like so what i'm drunk
It's the freakin weekend baby
I'm about to have me some fun
Crystall poppin in the stretch Navigator
We got food every where
As if the party was catored
We got fellas to my left
Hunnies on my right
We bring em both together we got junkin all night
Then after the show its the (after party)
And after the party its the (hotel lobby)
And round about 4 you gotta (clear the lobby)
Then head take it to the room and freak somebody
Can I get a toot toot
Can I get a beep beep
Runnin her hands through my 'fro
Bouncin on 24's
While they say on the radio...
This is the remix to ignition
Hot and fresh out the kitchen
Mama rollin that body
Got every man in here wishin
Sippin on coke and rum
I'm like so what I'm drunk
It's the freakin weekend baby
I'm about to have me some fun
This is the remix to ignition
Hot and fresh out the kitchen
Mama rollin that body
Got every man in here wishin
Sippin on coke and rum
I'm like so what I'm drunk
It's the freakin weekend baby
I'm about to have me some fun
Girl we off in this jeep
Foggin windows up
Blastin the radio
In the back of my truck
Bouncin up and down
Stroke it round and round
To the remix
We just thuggin it out...
The music faded as the lights did, but a solitary spot light stayed on Sho. He then stood up straight violently, breaking everyone's beat. Then, lasers started firing
"Peace up. Sho town."
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
This time, six other spotlights came out with each beat, showing the other author inserts joining Sho in his second song.
YEAH YEAH YEAH
Shorty got down, said come get me...
YEAH YEAH YEAH
My baby girl, knew best to hold me
YEAH YEAH YEAH
I was so caught up forgot she told me
YEAH YEAH YEAH
Next thing I knew, she was all up on me screaming...
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
One of the authors stepped up in front. It was Zam
Take that! Rewind it back! Sho T. is the pimp that make your booty go CLAP
Take that! Rewind it back! 'vader-Zam got the beat that make your booty go CLAP
Take that! Rewind it back! Sheo Darren got the flow that make your booty go CLAP
Take that! Rewind it back! Lone Wolf got the voice that make your booty go CLAP
Take that! Rewind it back! Person got the funk that make your booty go CLAP
Take that! Rewind it back! Shady Guy got the groove that make your booty go CLAP
Take that! Rewind it back! Ichiko got the moves that make your booty go CLAP
As the blackness faded, a band played. It consisted of three guitarists. Sol and Benimaru made up the first two. Leading them was the Shady Guy. The trench coat that covered his entire body didn't seem to hinder him from singing like a guy who ate a couple of jalapenos.
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around since I was born.
And now it's all right. It's OK. And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand the New York Times' effect on man.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin', and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhlive.
Well now, I get low and I get high, and if I can't get either, I really try.
Got the wings of heaven on my shoes. I'm a dancin' man and I just can't lose.
You know it's all right. It's OK. I'll live to see another day.
We can try to understand the New York Times' effect on man.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin', and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alaaaaaahhhhive.
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me. Somebody help me, yeah.
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me. Somebody help me, yeah. Stayin' alive.
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around since I was born.
And now it's all right. It's OK. And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand the New York Times' effect on man.
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin', and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me. Somebody help me, yeah.
Life goin' nowhere. Somebody help me, yeah. I'm stayin' alive.
An upbeat tone filled the arena as the next performer came up. He wore a leather jacket, a black shirt and jeans. He looked like the back street boy they left behind. As the time for the lyrics came, Sheo Darren lifted up his microphone. At the back, Tessa, Kirikia and Rei were providing back-up voices.
daisuki to omou kara ne kizutsu ittari tomadottari
tsumetai hoho wo yose atte kokoro ga umareta
itsumo ima sugu ni aitai
mukuchi ni naruhodo suki yo yasashi sa doushitara mieru no
dakishimete motto tsuyoku atataka na mune wo shinjiru yo
sayonara solitia ashita he
chiisana watashi dakara zenbu demo tarinai yone
nanni mo kakusanai te anata ni agetai
mada shiroi yoake wo miokutte
konnani daiji na hito ni doushite meguri aetano to
itai hodo tsunagu yubi de sabishi sa kieme yume wo miru no
sayonara solitia
mou hitori jyanai kara ashita mezameru no anata to
daisuki na hito dakara ne sobani iru mamotteru
anata he tsunagaru daichi ni umerete yokatta
A bigger performance greeted the audience. You could tell from the number of characters on stage. Lobelia Carlini played on the lead guitar, showcasing a hidden talent. Heather Mason jammed on the drums. Puss and Whip played the second guitars and Raphael strummed on bass. Helena Douglas, Mina Majikina, Lenneth Valkyrie and Hibya provided back up voices. Zell Dincht, Yoshitora Tokugawa and Ivy played various brass instruments. Ivader-Zam4 walked up on stage, greeted by a roaring audience. Unlike he's other colleagues who were dressed in hip-hop outfits, he came in his robe and kilt, twirling his staff. As he approached the center of the stage the staff glowed as the ornamental outfit magically stripped itself to show Zam in a black shirt and a dark green unbuttoned polo. Khaki pants were revealed under the kilt and black sneakers. Then the staff turned into a microphone stand.
Man it's a hot one
Like seven inches from the midday sun
I hear you whisper & the words melt everyone
But you stay so cool
My munequita, my Spanish Harlem Mona Lisa
You're my reason for reason
The step in my groove
And if you said this life ain't good enough
I would give my world to lift you up
I could change my life to better suit your mood
'Cause you're so smooth
And it's just like the ocean under the moon
it's the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kind of lovin' that can be so smooth
Gimme your heart, make it real
Or else forget about it
I'll tell you one thing
If you would leave it would be a crying shame
In every breath and every word
I hear your name calling me out
Out from the barrio
you hear my rhythm on your radio
You feel the turning of the world so soft and slow
Turning you round and round
And if you said this life ain't good enough
I would give my world to lift you up
I could change my life to better suit your mood
Cause you're so smooth
And it's just like the ocean under the moon
it's the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kind of lovin that can be so smooth
Gimme your heart, make it real
Or else forget about it
The next performance was that of a band called 3vil l33t. Largo jammed on drums, Dom on bass and Ed on guitar. Taka Ichiko doing vocals with blood- shot open eyes and marionette movements. He looked like he was on drugs.
Wake up
Grab a brush and put a little (makeup) Grab a brush and put a little Hide the scars to fade away the (shakeup) Hide the scars to fade away. why'd you leave the keys upon the table? Here you go create another fable. (You wanted to) grab a brush and put a little makeup. (You wanted to) hide the scars to fade away the shakeup. (You wanted to) why'd you leave the keys upon the table? (You wanted to)
I don't think you trust
In, my, self righteous suicide
I, cry, when angels deserve to die, die
Wake up grab a brush and put a little (makeup). Grab a brush and put a little. Hide the scars to fade away the (shakeup). Hide the scars to fade away the. Why'd you leave the keys upon the table? Here you go create another fable. (You wanted to) Grab a brush and put a little makeup (You wanted to) Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup (You wanted to) Why'd you leave the keys upon the table? (You wanted to)
I don't think you trust
In, my, self righteous suicide
I, cry, when angels deserve to die
In, my, self righteous suicide
I, cry, when angels deserve to die
FATHER, FATHER, FATHER, FATHER
Father into your hands, I commend my spirit
Father into your hands
Why have you forsaken me
In your eyes forsaken me
In your thoughts forsaken me
In your heart forsaken, me oh
Trust in my self righteous suicide
I, cry, when angels deserve to die
In my self righteous suicide
I, cry, when angels deserve to die
The time, the stage changed. There were props and the background was a balcony. It was like a scene from a play. From the balcony, Lone Wolf, dressed in an Armani outfit, was frozen in a mosaic with Hibiki Takane, who was in an elegant night gown. Then, without warning, Lone Wolf spoke
[Lone Wolf:]
Love is a many splendored thing,
Love lifts us up where we belong,
All you need is love!
[Hibiki:]
Please, don't start that again
[LWN:]
All you need is love!
[Hibiki:]
A girl has got to eat!
[LWN:]
All you need is love!
[Hibiki:]
She'll end up on the street! (sigh)
[LWN:]
All you need is looooove!
[Hibiki:]
Love is just a game.
(Music started playing)
[LWN:]
I was made for loving you baby,
You were made for loving me.
[Hibiki:]
The only way of loving me baby,
Is to pay a lovely fee.
[LWN:]
Just one night,
Give me just one night.
[Hibiki:]
There's no way,
Cause you can't pay.
[LWN:]
In the name of love!
One night in the name of love!
[Hibiki:]
You crazy fool,
I won't give in to you.
[LWN:]
Don't, leave me this way.
I can't survive, without your sweet love,
Oh baby, don't leave me this way.
[Hibiki:]
You'd think that people would've had enough of silly love songs...
[LWN:] I look around me and I see it isn't so, oh no.
[Hibiki:]
Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs
[LWN:]
Well what's wrong with that?
I like to know.
Cause here I go... again...
Love lifts us up where we belong!
Where eagles fly,
On a mountain high!
[Hibiki:]
Love makes us act like we are fools.
Throw our lives away,
For one happy day.
[LWN:]
We could be heroes...
Just for one day.
[Hibiki:]
You, you will be mean.
[LWN:]
No, I won't.
[Hibiki:]
(sigh) And I, I'll drink all the time.
[LWN:]
We should be lovers...
[Hibiki:]
We can't do that.
[LWN:]
We should be lovers!
And that's a fact.
Though nothing, would keep us together.
[LWN:]
We could steal time...
[LWN & Hibiki:]
Just for one day.
We could be heroes,
Forever and ever,
We could be heroes,
Forever and ever,
We can be heroes...
[LWN:]
Just because I... will always love you...
[Hibiki:]
I...
[LWN & Hibiki:]
...Can't help loving...
[LWN:]
...You...
[Hibiki:]
How wonderful life is,
[LWN and Hibiki:]
Now you're in, the world...
Massive applause. For the next performance, another band played. A famous band though, comprised of a stuffed toy Noodle playing guitar? A stuff toy Murdoc playing bass? Stuff toy Russell playing drums? And Person with many aliases?
Everybody's here with me
(we) Got no camera to see
Don't think I'm not all in this world
The camera won't let me go
And the verdict doesn't love our soul
The digital won't let me go
Yeah yeah yeah
I'll pay (yeah yeah yeah)
When tomorrow
Tomorrow comes today
Stereo I want it on
It's taken me far too long
Don't think I'm not all in this world
I don't think I'll be here too long
I don't think I'll be here too long
I don't think I'll be here too long
Yeah yeah yeah
I'll pay
When tomorrow
Tomorrow comes today
(Da da da da da da da)
It was time for the last part. Sheo grabbed his drumsticks as Zam grabbed his electric guitar. The two hurried off to the stage. Meanwhile, Sho approached Shady Guy.
"Sho! We gotta problem!" he said in a very hoarse voice.
"What's up? Were almost on!"
"I cant raise my voice anymore!"
"What?!"
"I've lost it in my song! What are we going to do? What about the finale?"
"Don't worry." Sho said in a suspiciously kind voice as he put his arms on his shoulder. "Leave it up to me."
Then with all his might, he kneed Shady Guy on the balls. He fell. He writhed in agony.
"That's the last time I am writing another one of your STUPID CAPTAIN'S LOG!"
Sho stormed off to get his bass, muttering something about Canadian pinewood. Then with a child's voice, Plave said...
"thank you...sho."
The crowd waited in unbearable anticipation in THE DARKNESS for the final act of AIKN. The stadium began modifying itself. Where the center of the crowd was, it began to move. The people stumbled as a huge hole opened in the dead center of the stadium. From the hole, a big gigantic smiling Buddha statue appeared. Its arms moved up and they formed victory signs. Then, a blue platform appeared on top of it. Four spotlights appeared. Sheo Darren as the trying not to be but still is wacky drummer. Sho Tsuzuku as the stone faced bassist. Invader-Zam4 as the guitarist who looked like he came from a pot session. And Plave as the infamous vocalist/guitarist. As Zam began strumming, Plave approached the mike.
Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel
My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel.
WOH
Touching you,
WOH
Touching me,
WOH
Touching you, GOD your touching me
I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love. Ooh! Huh!
I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day
You got me in a spin but everything is A-O.K!
WOH
Touching you,
WOH
Touching me
WOH
Touching you god your touching me
I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
Ooh! Guitar!
As Zam begins jamming, a giant slowly approaches the stadium with a malicious glare.
WOH
Touching you,
WOH
Touching me
WOH
Touching you, god you're touching me
I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
Ooh!
Just then, the giant's chest cavity fell down. It revealed a fleshy red skin. Just then, ADV tentacles flew out of its body and flew into the stadium's skylight. It descended down to attack the four author inserts. Upon seeing this, Zam, quickly enchanted their instruments with electricity. Zam, Plave and Sho kept the tentacles away by playing their guitars, which fired electricity. When one tentacle got through, Sheo would whack it with his drumsticks. As the song neared the end, Plave raised his hand and everyone could open his wide, open teeth. With the last beat, the three jumped and sent one last HUGE burst of electricity up the tentacles, to the giant, causing it to explode.
Another successful AIKN
Disclaimer: Once again: Ignition (Remix), Yeah, Stayin' Alive, Elephant Love Medley, Tomorrow Comes Today, Chop Suey, Smooth, I Believe In A Thing Called Love and Sayonara Solitia are not mine. Their respective artists own them.
Preview: Konichiwa mina-san! Sullia here! Wow, I didn't know Sho-onichan could dance so well! Wanna hear something weird? Zam-san or his agents didn't appear for the after party. He always comes when beer is involved. I wonder if something happened to him. Anyway, its time to get back to school! Oh! It's parent teacher night! I hope Sho can come I did give him the letter. I want him to meet my teacher and my guidance counselor! They are both very funny people. When my teacher is around, winds blow from all direction, so his classes are always cool! And whenever I go to my guidance counselor's office to bum around, he is always cleaning milk that is spattered all over the office. Funny huh? Oh no! I'm late for work! Oh dear, Shady Guy's probably gonna make me do overtime, inventorying the sex toys again. Next time on the Misadventures of Ky Kiske: Subchapter 4: Welcome to Sho U! Where we SHOW YOU how its done!