Disclaimer: Ky Kiske and all related Guilty Gear trademarks are property of Sammy. I don't own any of the characters here.
The Misadventures of Ky Kiske
A Guilty Gear fan fiction by InvaderZam4
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Subchapter 4: Sho U, where we SHOW YOU how its done.
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Shady-Sho Porno Store
...
Sullia Tsuzuku, mysterious benevolent side of Sho Tsuzuku was happily working in the store. She is pretty girl in a sailor school uniform. As she innocently worked on the shelves, she made numerous ecchi shots. The usual: arching downwards to show her panty, stretching upward to show her cleavage. It would be every fanboy's fantasy, until they would see what she was arranging. They were CDs. Not any ordinary CDs. Sexy Beach, Brave Soul, Come and See Me Tonight... She was arranging H-games. She hummed happily as she glanced at the clock.
"Ah! I'll be late!"
She rushed to grab her bag and ran out the door.
"Sayonara Shady-san!"
On the counter was the other guy who owned the porno store: Shady Guy. But now, the trench coat and fedora was gone. He was wearing Kenshiro's outfit and had his build as well. The only thing that wasn't Fist of the North Star-ish was the fish mask he was wearing. He was viewing some of the...merchandise...to...inspect their quality! Right, lets go with that!
"Errrrrrr...Goodbye...errrr...SULLIAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
He cried out to the girl as his mouth (if you could see it) made a Sylvester Stallone S.
...
Sullia merrily skipped along the busy hi-tech streets of Shou Town. She would have said hi to a couple of her friends along the way, but they were all busy so she decided not to. Shinbo was busy cleaning up the damage from the previous angel attack. DOA Kasumi was dashing off. She has complaints about her job, "Sho's courier service: We get your package there at triple ninja speed or we execute our messengers." But hey, it was better than getting a daily shower of shurikens. The Mugen-Tenshin clan knows that only fools would dare enter Sho Town. Ryoga Hibiki was crying in joy. For the first time in his life, he found his destination without getting lost on the 13th step. Too bad he asked Akane to meet him at a Starbucks. Akane was waiting anxiously on the Starbucks opposite the one Ryoga was in. Himiko had to close her perfume store for the day. There was a riot ever since she opened her line of male attractants, repellants and injurers. All of them sold like pancakes. The monkey poison sold the best of all though. Arcueid was glancing out her apartment's window. She had only recently the invitation to Shou Town, and wasn't even sure if she wanted to stay. Domon Cashew was busy preparing. Gundam Season 23 is about to begin. The Gundams were reduced from weapons of mass destruction to the Town's major sport and betting scam. Ah, gambling. It is how money circulates around Shou Town.
...
Sullia eventually made her way to the school.
SHO U: WHERE WE SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE
She entered the school to greet some familiar faces. Hinata, Natsume (Project Justice), Ukyo (Ranma) and Shinobu (Love Hina) greeted their friend as they entered. Idle chatter went by.
"So you guys wanna grab some cake after class?" asked Sullia
"WAH! I wish I could! But...me and Batsu have to do something" whined Hinata
"I thought you two were fighting?" Ukyo asked. Hinata looked down as everyone else was glaring at Ukyo, who touched a very delicate subject.
"Yeah. Things haven't been going well with the two of us lately. We...are going to see the school's guidance counselor, Dr. Dimension Dance. Everyone suggests that he repairs relationships the best. He might be able to help us. If not...I guess its over..."
Hinata wasn't mindful that the three girls were already beating on Ukyo.
"Besides, Sullia-chan, have you forgotten?" asked Shinobu
"What?"
"Its Parent Teacher Night today!"
"AH! Oh yeah!"
"So... Is your brother coming?" blushed Shinobu. He had a crush on Sho, though Sullia never seemed to notice at all.
"Well...I gave him the letter...but I had better double check anyway."
She whipped out her cell phone and dialed Sho's number.
0916-8447-423-238837-23-4663-67-4-9455-6253-968-783337-862327253-7246
"Wow Sullia-san, your brother has a long number."
"Yeah, he needs to make sure his lines are secure. Besides, he always gives us an easy way to memorize it!"
"Really? How?"
"It's 0916-THIS-HAD-BETTER-BE-GOOD-OR-I-WILL-MAKE-YOU-SUFFER-UNBEARABLE-PAIN"
...
Sho's cell phone played a polyphonic tune of R. Kelly's 'Ignition (REMIX).' Sho's eyes flashed anger as he picked it up.
"I told you NEVER TO CALL ME ON THIS LINE AGAIN!"
He slammed the phone. Then a ringing sound came and Sho flipped his speaker mic forward.
"That's better. What? Parent Teacher Night? I don't recall getting a memo. You left the letter on my desk? Which side, the outgoing or incoming? YES Sullia, there is a difference. You put it under the log I stole from Captain Plave? Don't you know what that's for?! No! I mean...yes it is a paperweight but...fine. I'll be there."
Sho sighed as her put away his second cell.
"I'm sorry, gentlemen. But it seems we have to reschedule."
Sho was in a board meeting. He was on the front. Along the sides of the table were Geese Howard, Gendo Ikari, The Man, Adelheim Crowzer, The Mukhai General, Kain R. Heinlic, Aruku Saki, Gaul and several other evil anime corporate businessmen. What did these evil characters from King of Fighters, Guilty Gear, Evangelion, Garou, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Full Metal Panic and other series want from Sho? Business of course. They all groaned in exasperation.
"Again Sho! This is the third time we have to post pone the meeting!"
"I know! I know! But I have to deal with my own problems before I can deal with other people's problems."
"Sho!" Cried a man called Wayland. "At least give us your decision on the Xenomorph issue!"
"I told you Wayland! There is no way I am funding that project! There is no future in it! Its not like you can control them!" said Sho as he patted his favorite pet Zergling 'Fido' who always stays by his side. "I will not fund further experiments on the Xenomorphs. They're place in my town has already been set and I don't care if you found out that they have two genders!"
"Sho!" cried Geese, his ever-formidable opponent in business. "We all have schedules and will go through hell and back rescheduling another meeting! We cannot leave this room unless we have finished this meeting!"
"Very well." Sho hit a button on his desk. Immediately, a glass wall separated Sho and Fido from the rest of the members of the board. The doors locked as blue mist began gushing into the room.
"Oh no! Sho's trying to cryo us again!"
"Not on my watch!" Cried Geese. "DOUBLE REPPU-"
Too late. The gaseous nitroglycerin had frozen everyone. Geese's reppuken, the wind-like manifestation of his ki, was frozen as well. It almost hit Sho's glass wall. That MIGHT have shattered it. Never underestimate a reppuken.
"I will return soon gentlemen." With that, Sho walked out, Fido behind him.
...
"So, your going to Sullia's PTC?"
"Yes Mature."
"Well, let me drive you."
"That is alright. I can drive myself."
Mature stopped. Her eyes grew wide with shock.
"B...But SIR! You haven't driven since disco went out! Can you still even?"
"Don't worry Mature. It will be good exercise for me."
"V..very w..well...sir..."
Sho and matured got off the elevator at the first floor. The floor was very busy with different anime characters briskly walking and looking busy. You could see Akuma discussing the stock options available with Morrigan Aensland, his broker. M. Bison was crying at one corner. He had starved himself for a month saving his money. Once he got enough, he put it in some bonds, in hopes that he could get enough money to buy his freedom from Sho and what was left of his dignity (recall: Sho had bankrupted Shadow-Law and made M. Bison his lackey boy). His stocks crashed and burned. He now owes Sho five times more than he did before. But there was one person that stood out of the picture. It approached the main information desk where Eden's Bowy's Sakura was sitting, dressed in her usual summer kimono, eyes closed and wore a big smile on her face as always.
"Ohayogozaimas! Welcome to Sho Tower! How can I help you?"
That thing grunted.
"Oh! You are here for Alien season! That's nice!" Sakura was talking to a Predator. The Predators had become close allies of Sho, ever since he beat the crap out of the Elder Predator and smashed his wrist circuits so that he couldn't self-detonate himself.
"RRRRRRRR"
"Okay. I'm am going to have to ask for a few things before I let you in the sewer!" Sho has the weirdest things guarding the weirdest places. "I am going to have to ask for your certificate of manhood from your elder, your Sho Town hunting license, proper permit for all weapons going to be used, Interplanetary Passport, Sho Town Passport and specific predator designation number. Or you could bribe me with a blue print of Alien technology. Please note that we already have the blue prints for the shoulder canon, net gun and harpoon gun. What will it be sir?" said Sakura as she continued to smile
The Predator grunted and shook his finger at her face. He then brought out his "Sho's Seal of Approval", which was basically a badge that showed Sho giving his thumbs up."
"Oh! You are a VIP! Why didn't you say so! Before you go, would you like to avail of our weapon rentals?" said Sakura as she pushed a button. The main information desk was pushed at a wall. One wall flipped aside and revealed dozens of Predator weapons ranging from spears to plasma casters."
The Predator grunted once more.
"I'm sorry that you cannot afford them but our rates stay as they are. Oh well!" Sakura pushed another button. Another wall flipped open to reveal the steps to the sewer. "Happy hunting!"
The Predator descended down the stairs and entered Shou Town's sewer system, which was shaped like a shifting pyramid. He looked up. There was a scoreboard written in the Predator language. His name was just added into the list of players. There were currently 9 participants; the leader has 25 heads already. The Predator pulled out his spear. He had to catch up and fast.
...
Sho stopped at a door called 'cabinet.' Beside the door was a little keypad with a mini-key board.
"So what shall you take sir? The Ferrari? The Porsche?"
"No Mature...I think I shall take the Lady Bug this time."
Sho punched in 'Ladybug' on the little keypad and open the door. What was inside was truly astounding! It was like those tie carousels, except for cars. Cars slowly passed by Sho. Ferrari. Civic. Porshe. Accord. Initial D's car. The Mach 5. The car the pilot of the Daimos rides. Gundam cockpit. Army Jeep. Mission Impossible 2 motorbike. Your Under Arrest's Today. A Taxi. A Crazy Taxi. The Taxi from Roger Rabbit. Finally, the Get Backer's Beetle. Sho climbed in. The car was rotated 180 degrees and the wall opened up to reveal the road Sho reved up the engine.
"Well, see ya Mature."
As he put the clutch in reverse and hit on the pedal...
BOOM!
"Sir, you forgot to put the wheel blades down."
"Why do we have those again?"
"So that no one would steal your car sir..."
"Oh yeah..."
...
Tyr De Luna, ever-faithful ninja/assassin/house boy of Sho, was crouching on top of one of the buildings near Sho Tower. Vice had recently radioed him about Sho going OUTSIDE. The thing is in Sho Town everyone is well informed. So when news about Sho going out of his secure tower hits the streets, his enemies decide to take this opportunity. Hence: huge protests, samurai's challenging at every corner, assassins crouched up in all the rooftops, ninja's crowding the shadows. In short: extra work for him.
Just then, the door to the buildings rooftop opened up. Normally, Tyr would have pointed his trusty Mauser at whoever went in. But he was expecting someone. This man had bushy, spiky hair. His Greco-Roman, crimson armor barely fit him. Though he was wearing a skirt instead of pants, the size of his muscles made you think twice about pointing it out.
"Greetings De Luna."
"Hey Rygar."
"So, why did TENSAIGA scramble us?"
Tyr sighed. For some reason, Sho was only using him to carry out his dirty work. Everyone else was taking orders from the puppet government of TENSAIGA. Hence, Tyr was the only one who knew of Sho's existence.
"To put it bluntly, the guy in the beetle is the guy who owns TENSAIGA. We have to protect him as he goes to SHO U."
Rygar blinked.
"So...the last minute assassin convention was...for...him?"
"Yep."
No one knew how it happened. All of a sudden, there was an assassin convention in town. Skilled Mercenary groups flew in. Weapons dealers closed down their shops to open one in the convention that was being held in town. All of the hotels, motels, apartments, condos and cardboard boxes got booked and all through out town, there were dozens people talking about weapons and killing techniques. It would be a normal day, if there weren't so many people. How did all these assassins know that Sho would step out of his tower and be unguarded? Internet
"Oh Argos...looks like we wont be sleeping tonight!" cried Rygar as he glanced at all the guys waiting around every corner with some sort of weapon or challenge letter. "WAIT! TYR! Won't he be going through this street?"
Rygar pointed out one street that was flooded with Anti-Sho protestors.
"I'll take care of them..." cried Tyr as he reached out for his clothed weapon. Then rygar placed his hand on his shoulder.
"Conserve your bullets. I'll take care of them."
With that, Rygar took out his Disk Armor. Using it, he descended down the building, right in the middle of the angry protestors. He had to clear this street before Sho drove by. No time for negotiations. Shifting to his Heavenly Disk Armor, he began his repeated sweeping circular attacks.
"HYA!"
BRAK. CRACK. CRICK. SMACK. SLICE. POW. SHEEBOGAN. WAPACK. KAPOW. BADABOOM. ANKLE BREAK.
"AHH!"
"OH MY GOD!"
"AIEEE!"
"IT HURTS!"
"MY HEAD!"
"WAS THAT A SHIELD?!"
Rygar was experiencing what only a handful of characters have. Most of them came from Dynasty Warriors and Samurai Warriors and recently the Guilty Gear cast. The relentless killing of canon fodder. Then, with his Disk Armor, he created a vortex, to which numerous more flunkies got caught in and was repeatedly beaten. Rygar swore he saw a cow in the tornado he created. Rygar glanced at his Sho-dar. He was almost at this corner! And there were still one bunch of flunkies left. What could he do?! He didn't have a Disk Armor that could take out that many flunkies so quickly! His summons weren't cheap enough to kill them all. Then, he got a flash of brilliance. Gathering his energy and converting them into his shield...
"Freedom prevails! HYPER CHARGING STAR!"
Rygar's energy rush acted like a bowling ball to the protestors. They began flying all over the place.
...
As Sho drove through a corner, he saw dozens of people lying on the ground groaning, writhing, struggling to get up, barfing, clasping their head and being in a general amount of pain.
"Hmm...Happy hour must be over."
Of course, Sho never established WHEN happy hour was.
...
Meanwhile, while Rygar was clearing a path, Tyr saw several archers and snipers on numerous vantage points. He quickly dropped his Mauser and unsheathed his third weapon, the one in the cloth. It turned out to be none other than the Sega PS3 KILL STICK. Carrying the massive gun onto his shoulders, he fired several energy shots, quickly disabling many of the snipers.
KZAT! KZAT! KZAT! KZAT! KZAT!
Ahhh!!!
My eyes!
So pretty...
Was that a kill stick? Coo...
My hand! Its not supposed to be melting!
So...much...rubble...
No one seemed to mind the massive explosions and big fights. It was a common occurrence in Shou Town. Frankly, more people were concerned if there WASN'T any fighting, screaming, explosions or mass chaos occurring. Peace within chaos. The great paradox of Shou Town.
Tyr then put the PS3 KILL STICK on his back and began roof hopping. He would need a better vantage point to take out the snipers. Man, they were armed with so many diverse weapons. Arctic Sniper Rifle, Sonic Canons, Shurikens, Hand held Ballistae, Technological devices that had such complex mechanisms and elaborate designs that you wouldn't believe that it was a...bow.
He hopped on to the fifth skyscraper. There, a man with a spear who was patrolling saw him.
"NINJA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Tyr head got a sweat drop. As the sentry shifted into a fighting stance, Tyr pulled out is third weapon. It was one of Teshu's, from Tenchu, Wrath of Heaven, infamous weapons. A hand-held canon made from bamboo.
"I'm a ninja!" Then Tyr fired.
KABOOM!
The man died form blood loss and a sever case of bamboo-shoots in the heart before he hit the ground. His vantage point being clear, he unsheathed the KILL STICK. He pulled out a Saiyan visor. With it, he saw all the sniper targets.
"Targets located. Targets locked. Armaments ready. I will have Yakisoba today. FIRE!"
KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT KZAT
As Rygar took care of the melee, Tyr would take care of the ranged. They are TENSAIGA'S unbeatable team. They could easily pave Sho's path clear.
...
"I think I'll take the scenic route today."
With that, Sho turned the car around.
...
Something was wrong. According to the Sho-dar, he was moving away from the fastest route to school. Of course! He must be taking the scenic route. With these, the assasins started moving. They wouldn't know where Sho is going, but the know that they had to catch up. They only had one problem. Tyr and Rygar were blocking them.
"Whats the score Tyr?"
"54-56. Your leading by 2."
Tyr pulled out a l3t b33r. Rygar pulled out a goblet with nectar. They both gulped down their favorite drinks. They both finished at the same time and crushed their containers at the same time and let them drop to the floor.
"Hehe. May the best Greco-Roman soldier win!"
"Ph34r m3 f00l..."
With that, the two charged into the numerous canon fodder assassins. They appreciated the fact that all of the assassins were headed their way. They just felt anxious. If there were any other assassins that wasn't camped at Sho's previous route, they wont be able to take care of it...
...
There were only two assassins that still posed a threat to Sho. Mereille and Kirika. Noir wanted Sho dead. Not because they were hired, but because of personal issues. After Sho swindled Noir out of millions of yen, he slept with the leaders wife and called him gay. No one calls the leader of Noir gay. He was pretty pissed about the wife and the money, but not as much as the gay thing. He immediately sent out his two best assassins. Why weren't they at one of the Sho-sniping points, as pointed by one the assassin convention's souvenirs: "So you want to kill Sho Tsuzuku. A detailed pamphlet with assassin etiquette, proper attire, weapons buying guidelines and a detailed map of Shou Town." Mereille found Shou Town's shopping district. After leaving Kirika at a pet store, she lost track of time. But when they were about to go to the sniping points, they saw that Sho had changed his route. With no one else to hog their kill or stop them, they readied their rifles.
Two shots. That what they both needed. One in between his eyes. Another at the engine, to make it look like he was killed in a car accident. They both readied their Arctic Rifles. Mereille aimed for the engine, Kirika aimed for the car. When they both had him in their sights, they waited...
...
and waited...
...
and waited...
Then they fired...
They two twin gunshots pierced the sacred silence of Shou Town. It was like a herald, a warning of things to come.
...
No one knows how powerful Sho's mysterious power of convenience goes. But here is a sample of it.
Kirka fired, aiming at Sho's head.
"HEY! A 100 Yen coin!" Sho bent down to pick up the loose change. The bullet went through the Lady Bug's cushy seats.
Mereille fired, aiming at Sho's engine. Since Kirika failed, she hoped the explosion would do the job.
As Sho raised his head up from picking the nickel, his head conveniently hit a knob labeled, conveniently, 'ejector seat.'
Sho was propelled high into the air. He was surprised to she the Lady Bug explode. Looking down, he saw two girls with rifles. Sho felt aroused at first...then realized what they were. He got ready to intercept.
Then, the two girls cocked their guns and aimed for Sho. Maybe they could still kill him. They fired their desperate shot while he was beginning to descend. Unfortunately, a condor swooped in conveniently in front of Sho. The bird took both shots and fell like a sack of wet potatoes. After saying a few curses to the bird, the reloaded their gun once more. But it was too late. Sho landed on the building, drew out two pistols and pointed it at them. But they were also able to point their guns to him. Doves began fluttering majestically as the two came to an old fashioned Mexican Standoff.
"You realize that this wont end well?" smugly remarked Sho. He was confident in his skills. True, these two were trained assassins and he hasn't practiced his arts in a while. But he still new how to kill these two even in this type of situation. I guess it helps that he was trained in seven styles of Kung Fu, four styles of Karate and one style of interpretive dance. "You two aint leaving this town alive..."
Suddenly, mysterious balls of light began manifesting. They started circling around them, leaving all three baffled. Sho would have taken this opportunity to kill them, but he was curious to what these balls...much like the spirits from FFX, were.
"NO! NOT KIRIKA!"
Sheo Darren, or should I say his spiritual form, popped out of nowhere. Apparently, he was the ball of light. Whenever his three little girls are in danger or in an ecchi situation, he would always be there to save them.
"DON'T WORRY KIRIKA! I'LL SAVE YOU!"
He pounced to get Kirika out of Sho's gunpoint. Unfortunately, Sheo didn't establish what 'save' means. After getting her out of Sho's gunpoint, Sheo's pounce still had enough momentum to...let them fall from the building...which was 35 stories high.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"SHEO-SAN! TASKETEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Sheo couldn't use his will of the word to save them. This wasn't his universe after all. Sho was still trying to find a way for him to use that awesome power even in any universe. But for now, he is as useless as a book is to Zato. Good thing for Sheo, that even in Shou Town, he is covered. From nowhere, Eva unit 00 hand caught them before they gave new meaning to 'paint the town red.'
"REI! Thank God! Get us out of here!"
"hai...sheo-kun..."
...
So, it boiled down to Sho and Mereille.
Sho pointed both pistols to her. Merielle had a god view of both guns and saw what they were. One was untraceable gun from 100 bullets. The guns whose bullets could never be traced. The other one was Gene's Castor Gun. The gun that could fire black holes. She knew that she was outmatched and outgunned but she didn't flinch or blink. At this range, even a flintlock pistol could be fatal. Sho stared her deep in the eyes. He watched his own reflection through her beautiful blue eyes. He closed his eyes. Upon opening them, he stared at her again...this time with the eyes of a demon. He stared with the same stare Sakuragi has. Demon eyes. Just the sheer sight of them instigated unimaginable fear into people. The sight is burned into their memories and they will be doomed to have eternal nightmares of it. Unfortunately for Sho, Merail has seen too much violence, pain and suffering to be afraid of a look. She continued pointing her gun at him, not blinking. The demon eyes, which would have made Kenshiro go around in a Digi-Charat outfit dancing the can-can had no effect on her.
Winds blew, birds cawed, tumbleweeds tumbled by, canon fodder continued to die. The standoff continued.
Seeing this, Sho decided to try a different approach.
"You know...something about a girl with a rifle just seems so...sexy."
Merail twitched her shoulders. Sho took this opportunity to get behind her. He placed his fingers on her chin.
"You shouldn't be in this line of work. That pretty face of yours might get ruined."
Merail was starting to get really uneasy now. She rolled away and pointed the rifle again.
"You should find yourself a good man. With a face and body like yours, they'll be putty in your hands."
Sho smiled. The sun conveniently made his teeth shine.
Merail's knees suddenly got weaker. But she snapped back to reality and pointed her gun at him once again.
"But...if you really want to kill me...take your SHOT..." He ripped open his shirt to reveal his 6-pack abs and washboard packs.
"AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"
At this sight, Merail squealed like a schoolgirl and fainted.
Sho buttoned up his shirt. He was going to be late. Staring down from the building, he thought 'that's a long way down.' He then jumped from the 35-story building. Even for an author insert, that is a very long fall. A conveniently placed 25-mattress pile broke his fall though. When he got out, he saw a conveniently placed, unlocked, key still inside, Porsche. He took it and continued to Sho U.
...
As numerous flunkies were being killed, cars exploding and assassins being pushed off roofs by foolish authors, there was a totally different situation down at Shou U.
Some of the parents came in early so the PTC started early. Sullia skipped merrily down the corridors, seeing if she could be of help to anyone while Sho-onichan wasn't here yet.
In the Principal Nenene Sumerisigawa's office, the head of the Parent Association was screaming her lungs off.
"HE IS A DISGRACE TO THE SCHOOL AND IS CORRUPTING OUR CHILDREN!"
Nenene, as uncaring as always, laid back on her chair.
"Relax Lady. Its not like he is teaching them demon rituals."
"LETS HOPE NOT! THAT...THAT...THAT MAN IS NOTHING MORE THAN A LOUSY TWO-BIT PUNK! HE SHOULDN'T BE A TEACHER!"
"Hey. At least his students have perfect attendance."
The president of the Parent Association was getting tired of this insubordination.
"AS THE PRESIDENT OF THE P.A., I DEMAND YOU FIRE EIKICHI ONIZUKA RIGHT NOW!"
Nenene was getting pretty sick as well.
"And as Sho Tsuzuku's personal friend, I SUGGEST that you SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
She was taken aghast.
"Why you little..."
"Listen here woman, in this town, no one has power UNLESS Sho gives it to them. Onizuka and myself were personally invited. That makes us advanced citizens. Now, unlike you, who MOVED here because you know it is the safest place in the WORLD, we can do what we want as long as we fulfill our duties to Sho and Shou Town. May I remind you that HE doesn't like that behavior and you LIFE in this town depends on HIS inclination towards you!"
All this time, Nenene was pointing to the different cameras scattered all over the room.
"Are you saying this Town is ruled by some tyrant?!"
"No. I lied actually. None of that crud about advanced citizens is true." Replied the principal, leaning back again. "But I still ain't firing Onizuka. Good bye."
From the window, a huge paper hand broke in, grabbed the woman and flung her away.
"You can come out now Eikichi."
A man fell flat from the ceiling, dressed in a poorly made ninja outfit. Onizuka took off the mask. He stood in straight position, trying to feign professionalism. Toi bad it was hard to take anyone in a tattered ninja costume seriously.
"Ehem. Thank you for standing up for me, Principal."
"You were going to do the German Suplex on her if I didn't do that wouldn't you?"
His face turned red.
"No...Ehehe. Is there anyway, I can repay you?"
"Well there is one way..."
With that, Nenene cleared her table and sat on it. Onizuka purred as he went to her.
...
Meanwhile, at Shou U's guidance office, Batsu and Hinata were in the middle of their session with the local school counselor: Dr. Dimension-Dance, or as many called him, D3. He is a tall man with curly brown hair. His eyes are always closed and always wears a smile on his face. He has a friendly aura over him. He wears a long flowy lab-coat. Under that, he just wears a black shirt and jeans. They were seated in separate chairs and faced D3's table. They had just finished all the usual psychology exercises, dream interpretation, role-playing, relating their problem and were asking him for advice. D3 scratched his temple and shifted his glasses. He stood up and circled around them.
"You two are still YOUNG and INEXPERIENCED in your FRESH relationship. You have been THROUGH a lot, I know. The Project Justice events must have been PAINFUL for both of you. But I know this made you two CLOSER and BONDED you two as well. But you shouldn't RUSH things TOO FAST. Take the time to UNDERSTAND each other. Learn about EACH OTHER. LEARN the other's PAINS, PLEASURES, DESIRES and personality. You two have ERECTED such BEAUTIFUL lives! You should SHARE it with one another. But don't be afraid to EXPLORE the different possibilities. Take things NICE and SLOW. Just don't RUB EACH OTHER the wrong way."
D3 began rubbing his temples again.
"I'm just going OUT for some water. I'll be back soon."
As soon as he stepped out, Hinata and Batsu stared each other in the eyes. There was an uneasy tension between them. It was almost...erotic.
When D3 came back, he had...er...successfully solved their relationship problems with...explosive results. That is D3's great curse. He means well and wishes to help other people with their problems. But he has a mysterious power. Everything he says is so subliminal that it would eventually lead to...copulation. Making him a great marriage therapist, much to his dismay since he desires to be a school counselor instead.
D3 had to spend PTC night cleaning up after Hinata and Batsu. But he was already used to cleaning things up. This happened to him...a lot
...
Sullia entered her classroom.
"Konichiwa mina-san!"
Everyone greeted her. Everyone was busy decorating the room for the parents/guardians. On the table, her teacher was seated. He was a young teacher. You would probably mistake him for a student. He was a tall man with black hair that was styled much like Selphie Tilmits. His glasses seemed to complement his open smile. He was dressed in a blue polo and khaki jeans. He was a kind teacher. He had a professional demeanor, but retained an aura of openness, much like D3s. He was busy with some paperwork for the PTC. Sullia skipped merrily towards him.
"Konichiwa! Akasel-sensei!"
"Ah! Sullia! Good thing you are here! Is your brother coming?"
"Hai!"
"That's good. Could you help Shinobu with the decorations?"
"Yokhai!"
As she skipped to join Shinobu, who was busy getting everything ready for PTC (especially for Sho), two girls walked towards Akasel-sensei.
"Akasel-sensei, we are just going out for some juice okay?"
"Very well girls. Be sure to be back soon."
The girls giggled as the headed straight for the door. Akasel couldn't help but smile. A display of youthful exuberance always made him smile. He enjoyed the way the two girls were so close to each other, chatting away without a care in the world. It was time like this that made him have hope for this town. He wasn't exactly approval of Sho's way of running things. He would leave, but he has his own reasons for staying. Anyway, it was time like this that gave him hope for this town, which was filled with such depravity and moral lacking.
Just as his was about to shift his attention back to the papers, the windows tore open and huge gales flew into the room. Everyone screamed at the sudden burst of wind. Papers flew, materials fell and Akasel stared in shock as he saw the skirts of the two girls flip up.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" he screamed as he fell on his back. Immediately, the winds stopped. Everyone rushed to his side.
"Akasel-sensei! Akasel-sensei! Daijubu?"
"He's not answering. Maybe he hit his head?"
"We should take him to the nurses office!"
"Why bother?"
"Sullia-san! Can you heal him?"
"HAI! Just leave it to me!"
She leaned down. A white circle began emanating from her hands and spreading throughout Akasel's body. They could vaguely hear him mutter.
"Blue...Pink..."
...
Numerous other mishaps happened while Sho was on his way. A few assassins were able to break through Rygar and Tyr. One of them was a noble samurai who had a grudge against Sho. When he saw the Porsche coming his way, he drew out his sword and in an honorable tone...
"Shot Tsuzuku! The formal demon! I challenge you!"
Too bad Sho wasn't honorable. He didn't slow down.
"Huh?"
WAPAK
Another sniper was posted on another one of the buildings. Sho was coming his way and his rifle was ready. He from his vantage point, he had a clear shot, much like Lucy Liu did in Kill Bill. He was just waiting for the precise moment...
Meanwhile, Sho threw out his cigarette from his car into a trashcan...that had open bottles of booze in it. It exploded, sending the trashcan flying up to the stratosphere.
The moment was almost perfect. With one shot, he could end his reign of terror forever! As he began to squeeze on the trigger, the trash can fell...
CLANG
...right on his head. Dazed, he staggered around for a while, until ultimately falling off the 35-storey building.
A pack of ninjas began chasing after him. They moved through the trees and buildings fearful agility and speed. They were trying to catch up to Sho, and were successful. There was around 12 of them jumping, running and tree hopping at almost the near reckless speed Sho was driving. When they were almost at the bumper, they drew out their weapons. They planned on slashing the tires and killing him. They became focused on reaching the car. Then Sho drove into a tunnel .The twelve splattered into the wall where the tunnel went through like road kill.
"We...have...failed in our duties..."
The last one was something entirely ridiculous. A man blocked Sho's path to the school. He pulled out a massive proton canon. He apparently didn't go for finesse. He began charging it and readied to turn Sho into particles of dust. As the charging up was complete, a bird perched on the proton canon and pecked on the delicate parts of the canon, causing it to backfire.
...
Sho U is your typical high school. A clear white building with numerous floors. Windows shimmer on every floor. A dirt road is in between the building and the gate. A forest surrounds the school, starting from the walls. Cars are parked all over the road to the school.
As the Lady Bug arrived at the school's front door, people scrambled. Everyone lined up in a neat line and a red carpet was rolled in front. When Sho stepped out, the valet came and parked he car. Little flower girls came in front and showered his steps with flower petals. Two scantily clad female teachers escorted Sho into the building. He didn't seem to mind.
At the front of the door, Sullia popped out.
"Oni-can!" she screamed as she glomped on her brother, taking him away from the teachers.
"You made it!"
"Yeah. Yeah. I did." He said as he placed his hand on her head, like a cat. "C'mon, lets get this over with."
...
Tyr was able to make his way to the school, after dispatching the last members of the assassin's convention. Rygar stood guard at the door as he stealthily made his way through the shadows. He was hiding in one of the trees, watching Sullia and Sho enter the school. He would guard from the shadows. It was perfect: he had the element of surprise. No one would suspect the bodyguard was waiting in the...
"Hello Tyr..."
He froze in shock. He was petrified. How could anyone find where he is? If someone did, then there is no knowing how many other people knew? Has he lost his advantage? Is his life in danger now? How ironic, a bodyguard is in danger. His stalker came side to side to him. She had long luxurious black hair which was bound with many black strings. She was wearing a typical sailor school uniform, but the numerous accessories gave it a goth appeal. Her sleepy eye stared at the sight he was beholding.
"Looks like he made it in okay." When Tyr realized who it was, he unfroze.
"Hello Miho."
The zombie girl took a look at Tyr from head to toe.
"Busy day?"
"Yes."
"Must be hard. Protecting someone whose has a meter on his bounty."
"It's a job. What are you doing her anyway?"
"No reason. I just thought I'd torment Largo a little longer, but he left. Saying something about evil badgers."
"I see."
Silence passed by as the two of them stared towards the crowd a little longer.
"Miho?"
"Yes Tyr?"
"After this, would you like to go out and kill some canon fodder?"
That was Tyr's version of asking a girl out on a romantic date. It seemed ot pay off though. The goth girl blushed.
"Sure Tyr. I'd like that..."
blushed? BLUSHED?! That wasn't like Miho. No one knows what she is. The most popular rumor seems to say that she is a vampire that feeds off emotions. Which would explain why she seems weak around Ping all the time. Ping, who shows off so much exuberance and energy, is nothing more than a computer acting off on a preprogrammed database of reactions and commands. This would explain her reactions to Tyr. Tyr, a seemingly stoic killer who kills without remorse. I guess that fact alone would make Miho like him. Couple that with the fact that he is Ping's reverse. He shows no emotions but is actually hiding most of it. Maybe it is all this repressed emotions is what makes Miho feel...alive around him...
...
Walking down the corridors, you would never suspect that these two were siblings. Sullia, with a happy, genki, expressions on her face, her greenish, Ami Mizuno-ish hair bouncing around and Sho, his face was as cold as the virgin snow half of his hair and his aura was as black as the raven-half. They eventually came into the classroom.
"Hai! Here we are onichan!"
She opened the door. There were girls ready to greet Sho. Akasel-sensei was at his table with an ice pack on his head. There were other parents there as well, but they decided to let Sho go first. They had just recently found the body of the 'God' of Mugenjo. It was something you would see on They did not want that happening to them.
Akasel stood up to greet Sho and extended his arm.
"Mr. Tsuzuku. I finally have the privilege of meeting you."
Sho shook his hand. Good, firm grip. He could usually tell a man by his hand's grip and heartbeat. He passed the first one. Sho also felt the pulse of Akasel through his hands. Usually, when someone meets Sho, their hearts go...
DUBDUB..DUBDUB..DUBDUB..DUBDUB.. DUBDUB.. DUBDUB.. DUBDUB.. DUBDUB..
He could almost dance to it. But when he felt Akasel's...it was like...
DUBDUB..... DUBDUB..... DUBDUB..... DUBDUB..... DUBDUB..... DUBDUB.....
Most intriguing.
"As well."
They both took their seats.
"Sullia is a very good student, there is nothing wrong with her... She gets straight As, she is very sociable and gets along well with everybody, she participates in many school activities. You must be very proud..."
Sho just gently shook his head. Even though he, Sullia and Samael were just three parts of the same person, both he and Samael still looked upon Sullia as a younger sister, who had to be protected. Though she is the weakest of the three, they never considered her as such.
"One thing concerns me though..." Akasel said anxiously as he shifted around to feel more comfortable. "She works at your...porno store?"
"Yes she does. She likes to keep herself busy. Also, I am training her at this early age to handle business. She may one day inherit the very ground you tread upon."
"Well, what you do outside school hours in none of our concern...but don't you think working at a porno store could...degrade her morals?"
"Are you telling me she is a whore?" Sho asked as his eyes flared up in anger. Suddenly, a great wind busted into the classroom once again.
"NO! NO! NO! NO! no! that is not what I am saying!"
"I think that's what your saying..." the winds blew harder and now was flowing throughout the whole school.
"Please! Mr. Tsuzuku! That is not what I am saying!" strange for some one of his massive height to be intimidated by Sho.
"Then what are you saying?"
"I'm just saying that...working at...such a store could make her have wrong ideas about sex and expose her to some dangerous things, which she might not be ready yet!"
"So your telling me she's weak." The winds that began dying down became torrential again.
"NO! I'm not saying anything wrong about Sullia! I'm just saying that there could be some long term damage on her if she works at an...adult store!"
"Oh. I see." Akasel breathed a sigh of relief. The winds began dying down. The girls let go of their skirts. They were afraid of them flying up, like what happened a while ago.
"So you are telling me I am a bad guardian?"
"NO!" A freak tornado popped outside of the school. The winds blew in quickly and the girls gave Akasel-sensei a little US. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH" Akasel-sensei fainted once again.
"Hmph. I guess were done here. Sullia! Were going."
"Hai onichan."
Suddenly, the door swooped open. Everyone stared in shock, disbelief, fear or indifference at the new comer. It was impossible! The defenses of the town were impregnable. How did he get in? The man stared at Sho and Sullia.
"Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooo brother!"
"Fuck. What do you want Samael?"
Samael Tsuzuku stood at the doorway. He was dressed in his usual Chinese robes. He entered the room. Everyone in the room, save the Tsuzukus, began shaking in fear. Everyone knows whenever these two get together, all hell breaks loose. Samael faced his brother, looking down upon him.
"How did you get in?"
"It was easy without your power of convenience protecting the town." Samael recalled the past time he had charged into town. Each time, he was thwarted by the power of convenience.
Try 1:
He came flying into Shou town, aiming for the top of Sho Tower, where his hated brother was. A passing gundam made him road kill.
Try 2:
He dashed through the buildings. Akuma was cooking his fish on top one of the many 35-storey buildings. Samael accidentally tipped it over. Akuma became raging, demon, cyborg Akuma and sent him to hell where little demons poked at him with pitchforks. He could still feel the one they stabbed at his butt.
Try 3:
He walked through the streets, trying to blend in. He stopped to look at his map. He leaned back at an electronics store with several TVs on display. They were all showing different channels. Then they all shifted to a special 'news bulletin.' It went like... "HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN! HUGE REWARDS FOR HIS CAPTURE. DEAD OR ALIVE" It flashed his face for everyone to see. Shou Town is like Korea, every man, woman and child can kill. They brought out weapons from Ak-47s to Zweihanders, from Kandamas to yoyos, from naginatas to frying pans.
Try 4:
He was planning on a full out, gigantic ki blast obliterating the town and hopefully Sho tactic, his favorite. He began gathering energy as he stood at the town's city limits, far from where anyone would see him. He gathered all his energy into a small ki ball, smaller than his fist. But when it would be released, it would engulf the entire town. He kept charging...and charging... and charging... Then a cloaked Predator ship landed on him.
Try 5:
Samael had enough he went dashing at his full speed towards Shou Town. He would destroy anything and everything that stood in his way. Unfortunately, that was the day marked "Zergling Exercise Day" Those that do not wish to have a very slow, bloody, dismembered and painful death do not move out of the town. Samael didn't even make it to the city limits.
Now, without Sho at the greatest vantage point, he was free to waltz into town.
"Like I said, what the fuck do you want Samael?" Sho gruffly said. Everyone was beginning to back away.
Samael shrugged. Same reason as you.
"To make the greatest porn movie ever made?"
"Among other things..."
"Then what?"
Samael pointed to the board. There was a big PTC labeled on it.
"Do I have to remind you that I am Sullia's guardian as well?!"
Samael and Sho had joint guardianship of Sullia. For the first six months, she would spend her days with Samael and Mancervantes. For the other six months, she would spend it with Sho. Life with Samael was very different. For one, they were always traveling. She spent more time with Mancervantes than he did with Samael. Mainly because Samael would shoo her away everytime he has to take care of...business. On the up side, she saw a lot of author universes and their many wondrous splendors...until Samael found a way to destroy it. Sullia's room in Sho Tower is much like Ryoga Hibiki's room, it is filled with the many souvenirs that she collected from the many author universes she has been to.
Sho wasn't too happy about being reminded of this.
"This should be a victory then. This is the first time you ever came a gathering of people where you didn't blow e everything up. Or are you just waiting?"
"Don't flatter yourself Sho. I came here for Sullia. I know you never have time for her. I'm amazed on how you even remember today is her PTC day. Or did she have to remind you?"
"Well, at least I don't put her in mortal danger or make a bounty on her head in every universe I've been to."
Samael controlled his anger.
"Well, at least I act more like a brother to her than a CREDIT CARD. And I don't force her to arrange sex toys all day."
"Yeah, too bad you STEAL everything you need!"
"I TAKE GOOD CARE OF SULLIA!" cried Samael. In his background, there were dozens of pictures of Ifrits getting ready for battle.
"DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!" shouted Sho. In HIS backgrounds, there were dozens of pictures of Shiva getting ready to battle.
Everyone, in the room, braced themselves and made peace with their gods.
Then Sho and Samael started beating on each other...like Hale and Dr. Clive from Hale Nochi Guu.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
BRAK KRAK POW BASH BIF POP POW WAK WAPAK BRAK KRAK SHEBOGAN KREBAK BRACK SUSHI SUKIYAKI BANZAI HEAVEN OR HELL DIE FIRST LETS ROCK SHEIKSIDAN OUGI TYRANTS RAVE TEN MIN HAN POTEMKIN BUSTER REPPUKEN HADOKEN HAR-YOU-KEN SURE-YOR-KEN YEAH IM KEN
Everyone was dumbfounded. They thought that they would be in the afterlife by now. But here they were, the two most feared men in the fanfic continuum, beating on each other like cartoon characters. The only thing missing was the dust cloud. Sullia was sitting down, reading a book. Apparently , these things spats happen often. When they started fighting, she stood up.
"Okay you two, that's enough."
Instantly, the two stopped wailing on each other to look at Sullia. Sure, they hated each other, but Sullia always came first. Then they say that each other was left open. They took advantage of this once in a life time chance and gave each other a good whack on the chin. This sent them both flying upwards like the head of those Rock-em Sock-em dolls. The force of both their punches left them embedded in the ceiling. Sullia sighed.
"Sho-onichan, I'm going to go home now okay?" she went home at the porno shop.
She could barely hear Sho though the cracks.
"Okay..."
"Nice to see you again Samael-onichan! See you at New Years!"
"Take care...Sullia."
Sullia skipped merrily out of the room. She didn't let her brother's spats get to her. They happened so often it looked cute to her. If she only knew how intense they got. The two just dangled there for a while, until they ripped themselves out of the ceiling. They glared at each other for a while...and went their separate ways. Except for AIKN, this was the only time he two brothers could act like anime brothers. Tommorow, Samael would be back, plotting against Sho's life and Sho will be there, thwarting him even before he comes near Shou Town. To Samael, it was his brother that posed the biggest threat to him. When he is gone, he can begin an onslaught throughout the fanfic continuum. With the leader of the hexagon gone, no one could stop him.
...
Meanwhile, back at the porno store...
Shady Guy was watching another CD. The 'merchandise' was actually a documentary made some time ago...
The Kanon Society is a group dedicated to the protection of original stories. They believe that the stories made by the artists should not be modified and perfect the way it is. They greatly support original stories but openly oppose fan fiction. They believe than fans should not waste their precious imaginations on what other people wrote but should create their own stories. They are appalled at the number of fan fictions out there in the Internet. Leaded by the mysterious K-Lord, they are out to stop all of the fan fictions they can. They are not to be taken lightly as they have powers that can equal, sometimes even surpass author powers.
Shady Guy leaned back to his easy chair. He wondered if the people interfering with Zam's universe were not Samael Tsuzuku, but...the Kanon Society themselves? He felt uneasy. True Zam was almighty and a member of the hexagon, but...he wondered if he could take on the Kanon Society himself?
...
Shady Guy hated feeling anxious and serious so he popped in another porno CD.
Preview of the next chapter: DAMN YOU MISTERJERK! How dare you hurt my precious KY! I am going to break proto-Justice of yours into scrap metal! Then I'll chop you! Dice you! Fry you! Smash you! Grid you! Beat you! Bake you! Bury you! Dig you up! Piss on you! And after all that...MAYBE I'll forgive you... GRRRRR!!!! Just you wait! May crew! Lets go kick some ass!
...
Edits: Oh my...Zam has strange pairings doesn't he?
Trademark: Indeed. Of all the despicable fanfics, not to say that some aren't, he has the strangest pairings.
Internet: Really? I for one thought Miho looks good on Tyr...
Law-Shark: But Eikichi Onizuka and Nenene Sumeresigawa? Very strange...
Creator: Well, let that be out further motivation. Destroy author universes to stop stupid pairings!
K-Lord: In any case, Creator, how has the army fairing?
Creator: I'm just adding another hundred million just to be safe.
Law-Shark: What? But with the army we have now, not even Sheo Darren's Will Of The Word could stop us! He would tire before he erased a QUARTER of the army!
Trademark: Remember, we are aiming for 120% chance of victory to succeed. We cant take any chances.
Edits: Indeed. Even if he himself has not amassed an army, and in a coma, Zam is a tricky one...
Internet: Still though, this is an impressive army...I can see why Zam sealed them...
K-Lord: Continue the preparation. Time is of the essence...