Meh… I know I said the title was gonna be long but I couldn't fit it. So… yeah. This site SUCKS! …er... quickly erases so the owners can't read Heh-heh…

Um… well, enjoy.

And to all the Harry/Hermione fans, here ya go. Has some Ron/Hermione references also.

Later that day, Hermione was in Potions and was paired with Harry. On the board was a difficult mix they had to brew and Hermione had, to the delight of Draco and Snape, already messed up hers and Harry's once. Her hands were shaky and, even after profuse apologizes as they were now behind the class, still felt bad. And, just like Harry said, she was figuring her burn was infected but was doing her best to ignore it and glad that her robes covered it.

Harry leaned over to take the diced roots she was currently holding. "Hermione, are you okay?" he asked, adding them carefully and stirring first clockwise and then twice counterclockwise.

Hermione gave a nod. "Yeah, just... you know that feeling when you can't be still? That's exactly what's happening," she murmured and sighed. "I'm sorry," she said yet again then took two dried lizards after Harry was done stirring and dropped them in, then stirred twice clockwise.

"Well, I'll do all the work as long as you make sure to remind me of all the steps," he slid a sideways grin at her. "We both know how bad I am at following instructions."

Hermione smiled and couldn't hold back the chuckle. "Yes well, I never thought that I would mess up something so bad that we needed to redo it."

"First time for everything," he said dryly as they waited for the potion to simmer for the designated ten minutes.

"I just wish it didn't happen," she murmured as she felt Draco and Pansy's giggles and smirks on her back. She had an urge to yell at them and kick them but quickly looked down, surprised with the amount of anger she felt towards anyone that got her even the little bit peeved.

"Don't worry about it," Harry said. "You'll still end up with higher marks than either of them'll ever get combined."

Hermione smiled softly. Finally, the ten minutes were up and she began to read off the instructions slowly for him so he wouldn't have to keep looking up, with her hands still shaking slightly. A distant thought of if she would ever be able to do any potions or spells without shaking or crying or doing something out of the ordinary ran through her head but she mentally pushed the thought aside to continue reading the instructions, one by one and starting the next only after Harry had finished the last.

It was actually nice to work like this. Not because he did less work, but because they were working together so well. Sixth year all he did was get in her way so that he'd be the one to needlessly read off the directions.

Hermione continued reading until she suddenly gripped her right hand with the opposite to stop the shaking. With Snape's snide remarks at any moment he pleased that reminded her of her father, and Draco whispers to Pansy about how Pomfrey had messed up her improvement was making her remember everything and her voice began to break as she read the next instruction to Harry.

Harry finished adding the next ingredient, glad the potion had to simmer for seven more minutes and straightened. "Hermione, don't listen to them, okay? It's not as if Malfoy's all that scary anyway. Ginny can take him."

Hermione looked down and gave a small nod but the last thing Draco had said hit her hard. 'I heard from my father that Granger's mother killed herself from the horrid images she had right after she left Granger there in the clutches of her father.' Even though she doubted it was true, the sentence running through her head over and over was beginning to explain things that she had figured had no answers. She put her elbows on the table and put her face into her hands, covering it and just closing her eyes as she tried to fight either the urge to break down or to scream... maybe both.

Harry looked over at her. He'd added the final two ingredients and was now watching a black vapor rise from the cauldron. Pleased with the result, and glad that it was as close to perfect as it would get today, he knelt next to Hermione. "What is it?" he asked softly, placing his hands on her forearms.

"Just.. Harry, what if she did kill herself?" she whispered as she raised her head slowly. "She promised me she'd be back. She promised and she had never lied to me before. But, she never came. What if... i-if..." It was clear that she was getting to her breaking point. She had taken so much and never had even thought of the possibility but now it seemed like it could happen so easily. It seemed like it was true.

He placed his hands on her shoulders. "Hermione, calm down, okay? We'll go to Dumbledore after class if you want and ask him, but you have to stay calm for now."

Hermione slowly gave a nod and after a few grueling moments, managed to get herself to look as normal as she could. But as she began to talk, no emotion came out except for a bit of emptiness. "I don't want to know. I don't," she whispered softly and stared at the potion they had made.

"Then we won't ask," Harry said simply. "All right?"

She nodded. "T-Thanks. I've been such a bother lately and... I don't know how you're putting up with me," she whispered softly.

He smiled. "You're not a bother and besides, that's what friends are for isn't? Taking care of each other and loving each other."

She blushed a tiny bit when she heard 'loving' but smiled and gave a nod.

The bell rang at that moment, for which Harry was grateful. Snape had been sneering down on them obviously wanting to make a snide comment. They quickly bottled their potion, labeled it and handed it in.

Hermione then grabbed her books and headed to leave, waiting for him then falling in step next to him. She felt a bit uneasy but was still as happy as she could be at that moment.

About two weeks later, Hermione was in the Gryffindor Common Room. She was doing some Transfiguration homework along with Harry, as the two had the period off but Ron had another class. Having not paid attention the last few days in class was finally hurting her as she looked blankly at her homework.

Harry, for his part, was having a bit of trouble paying attention. Transfiguration homework was always very dull to him and he wasn't too good at it for the most part. He was better than Ron, though, so he wasn't hopeless. But he couldn't concentrate on what he was supposed to be doing.

Hermione sighed. "What'd you get for the sixth answer?" she asked, wondering if she got it anywhere near right.

Harry blinked out of his daze and stared at Hermione. "What?" he asked dumbly.

She smiled. "What'd you get for the sixth answer? Or are you even there yet?"

He glanced down. "Um... actually, I'm not there yet," he replied sheepishly.

Hermione smiled softly. "Okay. Maybe... we should take a break. Because I can't concentrate and by the looks of it, you can't either."

Harry grinned. "Sounds good to me. We can try and work on this later."

She gave a nod and put her books back down on the coffee tables in front of them and leaned back in the couch. "So... what should we do?" she asked after a few moments of silence.

He shrugged. "I don't know. Just relax I guess. Not that either of us are really that good at it," he added with a small smirk.

Hermione smiled and leaned back on the couch. After a moment, she wasn't comfy so she continued to move until she finally got comfortable, hanging upside down some. Her robes had moved up some so that her jeans were visible but she only grinned some at the questioning look she got.

Harry shook his head and settled on the floor next to her, his back against the couch and fingered the hair that pooled near his hands. "It really looks nice," he said absently.

She blinked then smiled some. "Thanks. This is gonna sound stupid but the main thing I actually thought about when I got on the train was hiding my hair from you two, like I could actually hide it forever," she said with a small chuckle.

"Your hair was kinda cute like that," he admitted. "All short and curly. A bit messy but..." he shrugged as if to say 'what can you do?'.

She smiled and blushed a bit. "I didn't really notice how long it was until it was cut. Sort of like it this way actually," she said after a lot of thought. "It's a lot easier to manage."

"Bet so," he said softly, sifting his fingers through the silky strands.

She smiled at him then suddenly moved and laid so that her chin was laying on her elbows, and her stomach was flat on the couch with her legs hanging off over the armrest. At another questioning look, she shrugged. "Got sort of dizzy like that."

He chuckled. "Bet so," he said again.

She smiled and a sort-of uneasy silence surrounded them, so she tried to think of anything to say.

Harry swallowed hard as the silence grew. He recognized this feeling. The same empty-stomach nervousness that had plagued him whenever Cho Chang was around. He didn't know what it meant. If he liked Hermione as more than a friend... ah hell, who was he kidding? He'd liked her for ages. But she and Ron had always been... inclined toward each other.

Hermione felt very uneasy as she just looked around the room, as if looking for something other than Harry to look at. She knew what the feeling was; it was the same one she got when she was around Ron and the two were alone. She had no clue why she liked the both of them, as she had technically snogged Ron so it made her feel slightly bad but she made sure to hide it.

Harry didn't know how long he stared at Hermione. He just knew it was nice to see her without those constant shadows in her eyes. She looked calm and happy, if a bit nervous. Finally he cleared his throat slightly and shifted until their heads were inches apart. "Hermione..."

Hermione's eyes met his and she let out a small, hesitant, "Yes?"

"I... don't know..." he said. He didn't really, and he knew it sounded ridiculous. But he was trying to fill silence with words and he was never very good at making sense in these kinds of situations. So he simply leaned forward and did what every part of his being was compelling him to do: he kissed Hermione.

Hermione's eyes widened and she froze, quickly contemplating if it was wise to kiss back, just let him do what he wanted or to push him away. She finally chose the one that made her the happiest and slowly started to kiss back.

It wasn't that Ron wasn't accustomed to seeing things that shocked him. He was, in fact, quite used to it. He lived in a world where anything could and did happen. But seeing Harry kissing Hermione in between classes was too much of a shock. His loud curse broke them apart, both looking up guiltily and only making him angrier.

Hermione slowly sat up, quickly regretting what she had done. "R-Ron..." she started hesitantly. But what could she say? She had no clue. It wasn't like she could automatically blame it on Harry or grovel for forgiveness at Ron's feet as she had no clue who she really did like more. So instead, she just sat there, staring at him with eyes not full of regret but guilt.

Ron stared at them both for several minutes.

Harry didn't even know what to say. He'd fucked up and he knew it, but he wasn't going to make it better just by apologizing. Besides, Ron didn't take apologies well. He waited for him to blow up at them both, but the red-head just gazed at them in horrified shock and anger.

After a moment of looking at him, she slowly looked down and waited for something to happen. The silence was tearing her apart. She didn't care if he yelled or just walked out or whatever, as long as there wasn't any more silence.

Ron took several deep breaths, determined to reign in his anger. It didn't work very well, but at least he didn't yell. God, he didn't even know what to think. He'd thought that he and Hermione were... well, he didn't know. And he'd never told Harry how he felt about her but he thought it was one of those unspoken agreements. He thought that friends didn't do this to each other.

"We don't. I mean..." Harry quieted under Ron's gaze. "I didn't mean to say that out loud," he said.

Ron was hardly aware he even had until Harry had replied. "And I certainly don't want to hear what you have to say." His friend flinched but Ron didn't care.

Hermione just looked up at Ron. She watched him silently, her eyes a bit empty. She opened her mouth to try and explain but she closed it just as quickly, as she had no explanation.

Ron just snorted and turned around to walk back out of the Common Room.

She closed her eyes and just put her face to her hands and lowered her head. She should have explained to Harry... she should have pushed him away... she should have just continued with the damn Transfiguration homework. The list just went on and on in her mind. Finally, in her mind, she just blamed it on the bloody homework for being so stupid since they couldn't concentrate.

Harry considered going after Ron; for about five seconds. But Ron was never rational when he was this angry. Instead he stood and mumbled something about going to the dorm to think about things. "I'm, er, really sorry," he added.

Hermione just whispered a soft, "I'm sorry. I should have told you Ron and I kissed." She sighed, more or less hating herself.

"Yeah well, I knew how he felt. I shouldn't have... I mean... I've got a lot to think about."

"If he's still angry when he comes back... just, er," it was clearly taking a lot to say this but she was being completely serious. "Blame it on me. You two are better friends than me and him, I guess." With that, she stood and went to go to her dorm.

Harry stared after her and then shook his head. He wouldn't blame her. He was as much at fault and besides, she'd been through enough without this on top of it. He'd just talk to Ron, possibly get in a fight with him and if he was lucky they'd all be talking again by next month.

Hermione got to her room and laid on her bed before breaking down into sobs and curling into a ball, not wanting to go to class or meals or anything else ever again.

Ron hadn't spoken to either Hermione or Harry since the incident. Well, that wasn't entirely true. He'd grunted at them a few times in Transfiguration and Charms. But otherwise he avoided them completely and could be found either in Ginny's company or hanging out with Seamus, Dean and Neville.

Hermione hadn't talked to Harry but a few times in Potions or when she would almost start crying after Ron would snub them in the GCR. She had started to sit alone at the Gryffindor table and sit away from everyone in class if they didn't need partners, and then was no exception. Sitting down at the end of the table away from everyone, she just stared down at her sandwich.

Ron looked sideways across the table to see Hermione sitting by herself. He hadn't seen Harry at a meal all week and she was always alone and looking miserable. He sighed and turned back to his lunch but didn't have much of an appetite. "What should I do, Gin?" he asked softly.

Ginny looked at Ron. "I don't think I can answer that one," she said softly. "You have to figure it out for yourself." She knew she sounded stupid but she wanted him to choose it for himself, knowing that he would probably choose the right way.

Hermione finally just put her elbows on the table and put her face to her palms as she started to breathe raggedly. After a moment, she slowly stood and went to leave, feeling sick to her stomach like she had most of the week.

Ron fought with himself for a moment before standing up and going over to her. "Hermione?" he said hesitantly, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Hermione froze under his grasp then jerked her shoulder away. When she turned around, tears and sadness were in her eyes but her voice was cold. "Finally want to yell at me? Go ahead. Guess I'm just a s-sca..." she trailed off as she remembered the conversation she had had with Ron after they had kissed. "Guess I'm just a bitch and I deserve every bit of it," she managed out.

"No! That's not what... I wanted to..." he glanced sideways and cursed softly. People were starting to stare. "Let's talk in the common room, okay? Privately?"

"Fine. Then you can yell louder," she whispered and headed towards the common room. Every day since that night had been spent crying or wishing she was back at her house even, because then she didn't have hours a day to think about how she screwed everything up for everyone.

He followed her, feeling guilty. Like he hadn't felt guilty since he'd stopped talking to her. Yes he was pissed, but she needed him. She'd been through too much for this. Hell, he'd even reconcile with Harry if it would help.

She soon got back to the common room and sat down on the couch while looking up at him. She wanted to talk to him but she was mad at him for not talking to her for a week, for treating her like they were engaged when she had kissed Harry, for making her entire life a living hell lately and for him not even considering to ask what had happened but automatically getting pissed.

He didn't know quite what to do with her looking up at him, eyes wounded but angry as well. So he paced a bit and fidgeted around. "Okay I'm sorry," he said finally. "I'm still angry, but I've been a prat and I'm really, really sorry."

"Ron... I know I messed up but, Merlin, you treated me like we were engaged or something. We only had a kiss. One kiss. This whole entire week..." she had to stop to take a few deep breaths. "I am packed with the few possessions I have. I was going to leave. I hated being here when Harry avoided me and you just snubbed me off like I was a piece of trash. This week, I would have rather been in the hands of my father than here," she said and just looked into his eyes. Tears were filling hers but none were falling.

Ron knelt in front of her. "God, I am so sorry," he said. Having already said it once, it rolled off his tongue this time. And he always had such a hard time apologizing. "I was... I guess I just thought it meant something to you. Our kiss, I mean. I thought maybe you liked me and maybe you would go out with me and then I saw you kissing Harry and there went that." He frowned. "I've been a selfish bastard and none of this was your fault and please forgive me. Please."

She suddenly hugged him tight and started to cry into his neck. "I-I do l-l-like you," she managed out. A million different things to say were running through her head and she was trying to get them into one coherent sentence but it wasn't working.

He wanted to ask why she'd kissed Harry, then, but it wasn't the time. Instead he just held her. "We'll figure this out then, okay?"

Tears continued to cascade down her cheeks for a few moments until she slowly pulled back. A few tears still filled her eyes but she quickly wiped them away. "This is so messed up..." she whispered after a moment, not talking about him but her own feelings, though it was still hard to tell what she was talking about.

"Well, we'll work through it," Ron said, a bit uncertainly.

"It's... argh. I like... the reason I kissed both of you was because I like both of you." After a moment, she took an uneven breath. "Correction. I think... I love both of you," she whispered quietly and looked down.

Ron blinked at her. "Both of us?" he repeated. "You're in love with both of us? At the same time? Equally?"

Hermione's eyes met his. "Yes," she said simply but very softly.

"Does, er, Harry know?" he asked slowly, wondering if he had even fully taken this in yet.

She shook her head. "He's been avoiding me. A few words during Potions but that's it... so I haven't had any chances to talk to him about anything."

Ron didn't know quite how to take that news. He was torn between being pissed at him for avoiding her when she was distressed and feeling... happy that Harry'd respected him enough to back off.

She sighed and leaned back, letting her head rest against the couch. Then gave a soft smile, but it was full of sadness for some reason. "It's a good thing you talked to me today," she whispered, but by the tone of her voice, it had nothing to do with her leaving Hogwarts.

He frowned and sat next to her. "Why?"

"It's amazing what you'll do when you're breaking down, day after day, in a small bathroom cubicle or your room or... wherever you are," she said softly and curled towards him slightly. "You just seem to find everything that's sharp..."

He slipped an arm around her shoulder. "Don't. Not because of me. Don't do that because of me ever again."

"I thought I was trash. You really... it just... you made me hate myself. Everything I did since we've been here this year, I made myself believe it was all terrible." She put her head to his shoulder. "I just wanted to talk to you but I couldn't make myself then I started to break down every night and..." she shakily pulled up a sleeve and there were cuts all over her arms, most going on the vein.

He cursed, a bit more loudly than he'd intended and buried his head in her neck. He mumbled 'sorry' over and over and over and didn't even notice when Harry entered the common room with Neville at his heels.

Hermione closed her eyes, leaving the sleeve up and slowly wrapped the other arm around Ron so she was hugging him gently.

Neville looked at Ron and Hermione then poked Harry in the arm, then pointed to Hermione's arm that had the cuts, which was visible to anyone that looked.

Harry just shook his head and forced a smile. "Um, I'm glad you two've made up," he said.

Ron didn't say anything, just tugged her sleeve down and then moved his arms back around her waist.

Hermione didn't say anything either. She didn't know what to say, as she also felt like she didn't matter to Harry due to them never talking.

"I've got some, er, things to do," Harry said softly, looking away. "So we'll leave you two alone." He turned on his heel to head back out, ignoring the questioning glance Neville shot him before tactfully following. He didn't know if he had the right to be jealous or angry or hurt, but he was. Still, if Hermione wouldn't be miserable anymore with Ron and if Ron wouldn't be miserable anymore with Hermione than who was he to get in the way and make them unhappy or angry? Who was he?

After a few moments, Hermione slowly pulled back. "I'm so sorry," she whispered quietly to Ron, feeling like she was in trouble for cutting her wrists.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for," he said. "I was the one who turned on you when you needed me."

She smiled softly, even though it was a sad smile, and kissed his cheek.

How'd you like? Um… screw that 4 day rule because it almost made me go insane waiting that long to update. From now on, I'll update whenever I have the chance. The next few chapters may seem a bit rushed (just warning ya about it), but we do have a plot we're leading to!

So… hope you enjoyed and… chapter 6 will be up soon!