Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the related trademarks mentioned. The characters, moves, and all related trademarks are property of their respective owners. This is just a giant parody using different anime and video game references. Mainly of Samurai Warriors, Power Stone, Digimon and the tutorial of Spiderman. Please don't sue me I have no money.
...
The war continues...
Prelude to Chaos 1: The Demon Skull
...
Zamy Computer Entertainment Philippines
Tensaiga 2
NOW LOADING...
SHO-E-I presents
Team Omega-Zam
A new chapter in the never-ending struggle of the authors is about to begin...
Loud cries are heard. Anger. Hatred. A slash shines across the screen. Another one. The cries are getting louder and fighting can be heard. A blinding light pierces the darkness.
Within that blinding light, a silhouette of monsters can be seen. Then a new silhouette appears. The new silhouette stands there, and does a shuryuken. Our vision is erratic; it shifts to familiar silhouettes doing familiar moves to inhuman shapes. Snake Bite. Power Geyser. Nine Wine Cups. Ninja Slam. Paper Sword. German Suplex. Vacuum Missile. Neo Deadly Rave. Criminal Symphony. Luna's Hammer.
Then, an army of the inhuman monsters appears. A lone figure rushes towards them. He jumps high into the air. Another blinding light. It fades and we can see the screen now. The warrior slams down to the ground, knocking down a couple of zombies. He is dressed in a Sega Black Ops Uniform. He has spiky white hair and used a Mauser Rifle to knock his enemies down. He recovers and fires a bullet towards an army of monsters. It hits and kills a sentai squid boss. He beckons a charge and from out of the screen, dozens of people carrying different weapons charge out to meet the abominations. Some are carrying traditional weapons, swords, naginattas, axes, and bows. Some, not so traditional, AK47, Colt.45, Taser Swords, Arctic Sniper Rifles, Dual-Uzi, Rocket Launcher. Then, the man rushes into the battle. The camera zooms to a bird-ye view. There is a massive war of epic proportions going on. Hundreds of people are fighting against thousands of monsters. Then the camera pans around the soldier with the Mauser to show different characters fighting.
Ryu Ohshi, Mido Ban, Terry Bogart, Iori Yagami, Kasumi, Yomiko Readman, Eikichi Onizuka, Shun Ukiya, Rock Howard, Domon Cashew, Arcuied, Kurodo Akabane, John Talbane, Ivy.
They are all fighting these things. The creatures vary from zombies, to foot ninjas, to sentai bad guys, to gears.
The soldier with the Mauser beats down his opponents using the bayonet of his rifle. His fighting style is much like Magoichi Saika (from Samurai Warriors), only not so laid back. He carries a giant clothed weapon on his back. Despite its massive size, it doesn't seem to encumber the soldier. A giant Tauren appears above and is ready to swing and crush the soldier with its tree trunk. The soldier puts his arms across his head in a feeble attempt to defend against the crushing blow. Just then, something cuts the sides of the Tauren, causing it to kneel. More flying blades come out of nowhere and slash the beast, until one slits its throats. The flying blades return to its owner, who catches them. The blades turn out to be porno discs. The one holding them is a man draped in a raincoat and wears a fedora and gloves. No part of his body can be seen. His face is only a dark void.
The soldier smiles and looks to the distance. He sees Infinity City. The camera zooms in to the highest point of the tower. There, an enigmatic man dressed in an expensive suit stands defiant. There is no light of life in his eyes, which are being curtained by a draped half white, half black hair. The sky is dark and thunder begins to roar. Lightning begins to dance through the clouds. The man raises his hands and signals a charge. Just then, dozens of mechanical robots of different shapes and sizes cover the dark lit sky and flies towards the battlefield.
Among the flying sentinels is a lone condor that braves the dark sky and mechanical legion. It flies ahead and the sky turns blue and the clouds turn white. Below the condor is a lush forest. We dive down to the forest and see an innocent, young girl wearing a backpack and glasses. Her long, luxurious, light blue falls freely. Her clothes are a bit oversized for her, because they are boy's clothes. She is peacefully picking up flowers. Then, foot ninjas hide among the trees, stalking the young girl. Their presence is hidden and the girl is oblivious. As their stares begin to glow with malice and hatred, their company is sensed. The girl jumps back and, from her backpack, throws several knives, which pierce the trees. The ninjas are forced to seek the protection of their hiding spot. The girl begins to run, but the ninjas are faster and they catch up to her. They begin showering her with shurikens. The girl pulls out, from her backpack, Nakaroru's mystic cloth. She throws it to protect herself. The shurikens pierce through the cloth, but hit nothing. The ninjas stop, dumbfounded. Then, a shadow looms above and the ninjas look. The girl is above them. From her backpack, she throws several ridiculously large bombs. The tranquility of the forest is shattered as the bombs explode. As the smoke settles, the ninjas bodies are seen, motionless. The girl is standing defiantly amongst their corpses. She glares upwards and smiles.
The camera zooms out to a birds-eye view of the forest. But the camera doesn't stop. The forest is nothing more than a green blotch and the girl cannot be seen. But the camera does not stop. It zooms out, until it sees a crystal ball. A mysterious man with red spiky hair is watching the events thought the crystal of his staff. The camera pans around him as he raises his hand. He is in one of the chambers of a medieval castle. He jerks his hand and casts a spell. A runic circle appears around him. Skeletons come charging towards him. But as soon as they step on the circle, they combust.
His droopy eyes close as he clasps on the orb, which then shines. He releases the orb and a picture of a feast can be seen. The camera dives into it. A powerful song played by a great orchestra is played. There are people watching a girl with a greenish, Ami Mizuno like hair dance and enchanting dance. She gracefully balances her body and enchants her audience with elegant ballet and harem moves. She is dressed like a Ragnarok priestess, but in addition to the cross, she has a swastika and a ruby as gems for her necklaces. A magical light emits from her palms, which traces her hand as she moves them. The camera shifts to two men, seated beside each other, watching with great admiration and pride. One of them is the same man with lifeless eyes and black/white hair. The other one has an intense fire in his eyes. He is wearing a black, Chinese robe, ornamented with dragons.
There is a focus on this man's face, then the scene shifts. He runs through a castle. He runs, jumps and kicks a sentry and embeds him on the wall. He beckons for the forces to advance. Dozens of people, all wearing the same flag but dressed and armed differently, rush towards the stairs that the sentry was guarding. On the top of the stairs is a man dressed like the Witch King. He is draped with a shaggy, black robe that covers his whole body, except his hands, which hang out. But his hands are armed with a metallic glove and clasp a giant mace. He wears the Saiyan shoulder guards, only black and more aggressive. He wears an intimidating spiky helmet above his cloaked head. The figure shrugs and turns away. Suddenly, a man in a military outfit and haircut, armed with a metallic arm falls from the ceiling, causing a massive energy burst, which engulfs the stairs and the advancing troops. Before it reaches the man in the Chinese robe, he jumps. He then is suspended in midair as he begins charging a small ball of energy in his palms. The camera pans around him. He then fires the small ball of energy, which becomes a gigantic stream of energy towards the camera. Everything is engulfed by light.
AUTHOR WARRIORS
...
Author Warriors
Press Start
FIGHT!
NEW GAME
TUTORIAL
CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER...
Character Locked (You must finish the tutorial to unlock this character)
Character Locked (You must finish the tutorial to unlock this character)
Character Locked (You must finish the tutorial to unlock this character)
Character Locked (You must finish the tutorial to unlock this character)
Name: The Shady Guy
Rank: B
Title: Porno Lord
Hit Points:
A. Musou:
Offensive:
Defensive:
Weapon: Soft Porn Discs
(The Shady Guy is the mysterious man in the raincoat, Narrator Note)
"FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH!"
Now Loading...
(The Shady Guy is standing on a battlefield. There are houses around, but have been abandoned.)
Welcome to the Author Warrior's tutorial! I know what your thinking, you want to go out and do your thing... beat the bad guy... play god with your author power... but when your getting your ass whooped, your going to be glad you took this tutorial.
Okay. Lets start. I want you to move Shady Guy to the X in front of him. You can move him using the left analog stick of the D-pad.
Great! It looks like you can at least understand basic commands then. That'll make my job a whole lot easier. Okay. Lets try using a map. You can see that your map has appeared. This is an overhead view of the battlefield. So that you wont get lost, especially you guys with short attention span; you are the big, shiny, glowing arrow on the map. The arrow reacts to your every movement. Where the arrow is pointing is where you looking at. Okay, stop looking at the big, shiny glowing thing. Focus. I want you to move towards the 'X' on the map. It's labeled on the map by the expanding circle. For all those with you with weak memory, we thought of you and added this interesting feature. All your objectives are the big circles. Now move towards the circle.
"I shall smite them with the power of porno!"
To much information dude...
Okay. Now there's one last thing you have to know about the map. I want you to move to the next 'X.' Confused yet? About time. Yeah I know, your standing exactly on it but you cant find it. For this, we added a current situation map. Press the L2 button and the map will change. Go on. It wont hurt you.
There. The map has zoomed in to your current situation. And, oh! I probably should have said before...if you promise not to tell, I wont tell about that thing you did at that time. Yep I know the details. This will be out little secret. Your army is colored blue. The opposing army is colored yellow or red. If there is a red or yellow on either one of the maps, then there are enemies there. As for the zoomed in version, those red spots are the enemy. Although this map only focuses on your current situation, they focus on individual attackers. Now. Lets get to the part I know your waiting for, the fighting! You sadistic bastard. Now. All characters have two main attacks. The first is your standard attack, which you do with your square button. You can link combos by hitting the square button repeatedly. The other one is your charged attack with the triangle button. The charged attack usually has better range, attack and effects than your standard attack. But there is a delay time to using them and your fly is SO open during this time. Also, you can't do combos. Practice your charge attack and combos on that group of zombies up ahead.
Skeleton: Au...thor...
(Shady Guy rushes up to the 4 zombies being led by a skeleton. As he approaches the skeleton leader, he unleashes his swift combo consisting of a horizontal disc slash, a downward vertical slash, a diagonal slash and ends with a punch stab using the disc. The skeleton is propelled and falls to the ground, defeated. The other zombies begin to advance. Shady Guy steps back, charges energy and brings out a second disc with his other hand. As the zombies are about to attack, Shady Guy throws the discs, which revolve around him, creating a circular barrier much like Millia's Tandem Top. The zombies are hit by the discs and are propelled away.)
Felt good doesn't it? But if you do some of your square combos then end with a charge attack, you can do an advanced combo that does a lot more damage. Remember that the delay time and the open fly still applies if you're using the charged attack in a combo. Now, there's a drum over there. Beat on it and a new skeleton will appear. You may want to practice your dueling techniques so we didn't add any zombies this time. When you are done beating the crap out of innocent undead warriors who just want to eat your brains, go to the new location marked on your map. I'm gonna go grab some sushi.
(Shady Guy moves up to the drum and beats it with his disc.
Skeleton: We will kill you!
Shady Guy rushes up to the skeleton and starts his swift combo. But as soon as he does the first horizontal slash, he charges. Staggered, the skeleton is unable to use the vulnerable second Shady Guy has. Fully charges, he unleashes a powerful upward, vertical slash. This move is not only strong enough to kill the skeleton, but he is launched upwards into the air. Shady Guy beats on the drum again.
Skeleton: Viva la companya y kanon! Bueno!
Shady guy wait for the enemy to attack. Before he can even attack, Shady Guy does his swift combo yet again. This time, he does the first tow attacks and charges. Skeleton is still disoriented and is unable to counter or disrupt. Shady Guy stands straight, then puts his disc to his palm and extends it. A wave of energy comes from the disc and pierces through the skeleton. The skeleton is stunned. Shady Guy finishes it off with one last horizontal slash. Shady Guy beats on the drum once more.
Skeleton: What happened to the advance force?
Shady Guy begins his swift combo yet again, this time ending with the third strike. He charges yet again. Shady guy leans back, finishes charging, the all of a sudden, grabs the skeleton and does judo throw, slamming it behind him. The resulting impact was so strong it created a shock wave that could have pierced anyone within the shock wave's radius. Shady beats on the drum one last time.
Skeleton: You beat all those other guys? LETS GET OUT OF HERE!
Shady Guy beats it with his standard combo. He then moves up to the next objective)
Okay (chew chew). You made it. (Bite swallow clear throat) Now, lets talk about defense (Smacks lips). By pressing the L1 button, you can shift into a defensive stance. In the defensive stance, all of the attacks in front of you will be blocked and you won't gain damage. Of course, attacks from the side and back are a different story. Remember that the defense cant block against ranged attacks. Also, when you're knocked down, pressing the L1 button will make you recover. Try it with those advancing soldiers. We disabled your attacks at this point so that you wont be tempted to kill those innocent skeletons, you jerk. (Oooh too much soy sauce).
(Shady Guy shifts into his defensive stance; he crouched down and puts the CD in front of his face. The skeletons try to swing their sword, but they are blocked.)
Shady Guy: You cannot PENETRATE the power of PORNO!
Whoa, too much information there big guy.
Okay. Now its time to counter attack! At the lower left part of the screen, there are two gauges below Shady Guy's portrait. The green one is your hit points and the red one is your Author Musou. Now is a great time to find out that you're colorblind. When your hit point bar is empty, its all over man, game over man, last stop on the soul town express man! I see that your Author Musou is full. Go up to one of the skeletons and unleashes your Author Power by pressing the circle button.
(Shady Guy goes up to the enemy
Shady Guy: BOSS, DIBIDI VCD DVD?
He starts throwing porno discs in a150 degree angle in front of him by swinging his left arm. The discs hit the enemies and push them back. Then he throws more porno discs with his right arm. He throws around three more batches until his Musou runs out. He ends by spinning around once, throwing discs at all o'clock directions.
Shady Guy: BUY ONE TAKE ONE!)
Storong! Too...storong! Okay. Now lets talk about jumping. You can jump using the x button. Some characters can double jump. Not Shady Guy though. We don't want anyone seeing what's up that raincoat. Believe me, I still have nightmares. Now, jump past the barricades to your next objective. If you forgot how to change the map, it's the L2 button. If you can't see the map, I can't help you. Turn the machine off...and walk away.
(Shady Guy then starts jumping to the next objective)
Oh, here's an interesting trick. If you press x then triangle, your character will do a slamming shockwave attack that will knock anyone down within a certain radius, provided you hit the ground. If you press triangle then x, you will explode.
(Shady Guy jumps and does his shockwave attack, which is a butt bounce. Sure enough, it creates a shockwave. He resumes jumping to the next location.)
Okay. Now lets talk about your ranged attacks. By holding the R1 button, you can shift into your first-person, sniping stance. Remember that you can't move while in this stance. You see those skeletons? Try taking them out with your ranged attacks. You can't miss them, they're standing in front of those big bull's-eyes.
(Shady Guy aims at one of the skeletons. He then throws a porno CD at it. It hits the skeleton)
Skeleton: Oh GOD! It crushed the bone! It crushed the bone! Why did you shoot me! Every living moment is agony!
Yeah...you had better get used to that. That pretty much covers everything you need no know in order to survive in the battlefield. If you ever want to review these lessons or just want to see me again, who can blame you? This tutorial is always available on the New Game screen. You can only play it with the Shady Guy though. Okay, that's just about it. Goodbye! (A new objective flashes on the screen) I said...Goodbye. That means...see ya later. That means, there nothing more here, you can go now. That means get out...now. That means get lost!
(Shady Guy moves up to the mysterious objective)
You just couldn't resist could you? Fine, I guess I had better say something. You see that little gauge above the hit point? It fills up periodically. What is its use? That's your alter ego gauge. When it's filled, you can transform to your author's alter ego. The alter ego varies from author to author. When activated, that gauge will slowly drain. When it's empty, you will return to your old form. The alter ego is basically your current author with two times the defense, two times the attack and two times the bitchiness. Remember that the alter ego's attacks are different. You'll have to learn them again. We'll leave you with a couple zombies to practice them with. Finally, to activate the alter ego, wait let me get in the bomb shelter.
(Footsteps, heavy metal door pulling and closing. The narrator speaks through a megaphone)
HIT THE R2 BUTTON!
(Time stops and a great energy surges through Shady Guy. Power fills his body as he jumps
Shady Guy: AUTHOR CHANGE!!!!!!!
His body is glowing as the raincoat flies off and the head starts to mold.
Shady Guy: SHADY GUY AUTHORVOVLES TO....
He lands
Shady Guy: PLAVE!
Kenshiro wearing a fish head mask replaces the man in the raincoat and fedora. He moves up to the enemies and dispatches them with trademark fist of the North Star attack. Finally, before the gauge is empty, he approaches the last skeleton and uses his Author Musou
Plave: YOUR ALREADY DEAD!
He begins pummeling the skeleton with a rapid punch succession.
Plave: WATATATATATATATATATATATA...
Ends with one last crunching blow
Plave: TAAAAAAAAAAA!
Enemy explodes
Plave: Sukibe Shinken (Fist of the Porn Star) has no equal!
Well that's it for the tutorial. Now get out on the battlefield and create your legend!
GAME OVER