Title: I Could Still See the Postcards
Author: Roguester
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own Travis, Lily, Ray, or Bridget. But I think the devil does.
Recommended background music: Desperately by Michelle Branch

----------

Chapter 5: A Little Bit of History Repeating

(Lily)

Send, send, send. I click the button three more times until the paint chipped off the 'enter' key.

The minutes died down and hope began to falter, but I can't give up just yet – not when I've already ruined the 'enter' key on my laptop. The unanswered calls will remain unanswered until Ray picks up that phone. So for now... for now I'll keep pushing that 'send' button until I hear 'you got mail.'

"Have you spoken with Ray yet?" Travis wondered. And I had to refrain myself from reaching out to him because my palms were already sweating.

"In complete sentences, you mean? No, not yet," I replied. I sent Ray one more email before deciding to take a break. It's out of my hands now and all that is left for me to do is to try again later. Much later when the mood has cooled down a bit.

Except I don't think that it will ever cool down. I hurt Ray badly and I didn't even need to utter a single word to do it. My inactivity alone had done all the damage. But what else could I have said? He told me that he loved me... but what else could I have said?

The truth is, my feelings for Ray have reached beyond the confines of like and love. My feelings for him are solid and constant and forever. Like blood. Like family. And I want it to remain that way because it's perfect. Us – me and Ray – we're perfect this way.

And I could spend hours and hours talking about him, but I've got a history essay to write and no time to waste. I pointed the tip of my pencil against a fresh sheet of paper and started to brainstorm. Except I couldn't stop thinking about Ray and I will never stop thinking about him until he talks to me again...

Thirty minutes had passed and the paper remains empty in front of me. "Gotta think," I muttered, "gotta think of something." But even after hours of racking my brain and wearing out my textbooks, I still couldn't come up with anything. "Don't think too much," Travis finally said, "the key is to write anything and everything that comes to mind, no matter how stupid you think they sound."

I slouched down on my chair and blew out a frustrated sigh as Travis continued to sit comfortably on my bedroom floor. "I mean, you can always revise later," he said with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes at him and went back to work, scanning my notes once again for any grain of information that I could use. There were plenty of ways to explain the justifications behind World War I. I just didn't know which one to choose.

"You know, Travis... you said you'd help me with my history essay," I pointed out to him. But he just shrugged, and grinned, and looked at me with those gorgeous eyes and smugly said, "I believe I just did."

And I don't get it anyway. World War I, World War II, The Vietnam War... they're all the same war. One side gets pissed at another side and they fight it out until violence makes their decisions for them. And it keeps happening because no one will learn from their mistakes. I wish everybody could just forget their past and move on, but I guess nothing is ever that easy...

"History repeats itself," Travis mumbled, "it can't be helped."

Travis got up from the floor and started pacing around. Shoving his hands through his pockets he took one hesitant step towards me and bit his lower lip. "Lily, I need to ask you something," he said, "I heard from Bridget that you used to have a huge crush on me. Is that true?" Nervous laughter emanated from his mouth, and like all the other times that I heard him laugh I was easily swept away.

"Forget it. It's stupid, really," he quickly brushed off, but before he could continue I had already given him an answer. "Yes, it's true," I replied, but as soon as I said it I desperately wanted to take it back. A warm blush crept over my cheeks and I willed myself to disappear, but I'm glued to my chair and I can't seem to move.

"Look, I know we haven't discussed this topic since we last kissed," Travis said, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence, "but I just wanted to let you know that... that you mean a lot to me, okay? And I wouldn't change anything for the world. If... if I could do it all over again, I would. I'd kiss you again, I mean."

And at this time I could no longer breathe. My heart is caught in my throat and I want to scream like mad, but the only thing I could do was blink and say, "Me too." I turned back towards my desk and grabbed my pencil, but all I could think of were my legs and how I couldn't stop them from shaking.

"But we're okay now. Right, Lily?" Travis spoke softly, "I mean... we're just friends, that's all." His shy smile broke something within me and I tried to concentrate all of my energy towards the blank paper on my desk. I wrote 'World War I' over and over again on the empty sheet, but his smile broke something within me and I had to stop.

History repeats itself, but it doesn't mean that it can't be altered. And out of all the times and all the places in the world, I chose this moment to make a difference. With one last glance towards Travis I said, "Yeah... we're just friends." But this time... this time it was my turn to ask, "Are you sure?"

"I don't know," Travis said. And I had to laugh at the familiarity of the situation. With my mind still set on writing my essay, I checked the clock and grabbed my pencil again. It was 9:00 pm and it was getting late, but no one is leaving anytime soon. Travis cleared his throat and took another step towards me, but he seems so close already and I couldn't stand it any longer...

With one hand on my chair and another hand on the desk, he looked over my shoulder to see what I was writing. His breath was warm against my ear and his hands were cold against my arm, but before I could write another word, two things had already caught me by surprise:

That Travis' left ear is pierced...

And that his lips were suddenly on mine.

His breath was warm against my ear and his lips were suddenly on mine. Yet if history truly repeated itself, Travis would have pulled away by now...

But he didn't. Not even close.

---------

A/N: Oh my God. This fic is seriously kicking my ass. I only meant for it to be a one-shot, but look at me now... I'm on chapter 5 and I'm already running out of material! Gah! Writer's block, here I come! Anyways, I just want to take this time to thank everyone who sent in their reviews. You guys rock and I love you forever and ever and ever. Especially you, Caalan!

P.S. Please excuse the major grammatical errors. It's waay past 2am and I'm all sorts of grumpy.