Title: I Could Still See the Postcards
Author: Roguester
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own Travis, Lily, Ray, or Bridget. But I think the devil does.
Recommended background music: Psychobabble by Frou Frou

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Chapter 6: So Right, It's Wrong

(Travis)

It's like being in a dreamlike state. Except I'm not even asleep. Not even close.

And there's a sort of adventure that comes within this act of waiting: the drumming of my fingers against the desk; the constant checking of the clock; and the repeated tap, tap, tapping of my foot against the floor. The mind-body connection is severed and my thoughts float off to a faraway land, except my brain likes to remain close to home and it doesn't have to travel that far.

Lily mindlessly twirled a pen around her fingers and she looked so lovely even as she stifled a yawn. She gazed straight ahead, pen in hand, as she blissfully occupied the seat in front of me.

Her bandanna was plaid today.

It was green and black and outlined with red and I'm noticing all these things because everything else seems mundane. The classroom is dank, the teacher is boring, and the only thing holding the students together is the imminent ringing of the bell.

I reached over to tug Lily's shirt in an attempt to get her attention. Accidentally, my hand brushed against the exposed skin above her jeans and I felt her shiver at my touch. She stretched her hand behind her back and gave my fingers a soft squeeze. And even though I couldn't see her face, I knew she was smiling at least.

My mind went a little bit crazy after that.

My fingers drummed against the desk and my foot tapped against the floor. I watched the clock intently as I counted each second that passed by. The students grew anxious by the minute and the wait seemed to last forever, but finally after much anticipation – a silence before the mayhem:

... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1.

The bell rang and everybody got out of their chairs. Grabbing my bag from the floor, I followed Lily out the door. I reached forward to hold her hand, but just barely – because under no circumstances should anyone see. I reached forward to touch her hand, but only her fingertips – because under no circumstances should anyone know.

The secret is much too serious this time.

And we can't look at each other. We just can't. Not when people are around. Because just as easily they could find out about us and under no circumstances should this happen. So we waited for the next bell to ring as we went our separate ways towards the opposite sides of the hall. But we didn't stray far because we're much too involved now, and we can't ever go back to how it was before.

Slowly the students dispersed and began making their way towards their next class. I spotted Lily by the stairs and she was fumbling with her bag, looking for a book. Except I knew she wasn't really looking for a book – just like I wasn't really looking for a pencil in my locker. We were both just waiting, really... stalling for time until the halls are empty again.

I reminded myself of how wrong this was, but my legs carried me towards Lily anyway. And before I knew it we were alone in the hallway, inches away from each other and minutes away from forever.

I placed my hand on her waist as I buried my face on her shoulder. My mouth grazed the curve of her neck as she closed her eyes in a silent response. Her hands rested on my chest and she gently pushed me against the lockers, but everything is just wrong – so wrong – that I couldn't even kiss her right away...

Not in the here, at least. Not now. But somewhere else, definitely.

Lily arrived at the station first – three hours after the RFR broadcast ended. She was sitting in my booth when I came in and as soon as I saw her, all inhibitions have been thrown out the window. I steadily walked towards her as she slowly got up from my chair and at that moment, something clicked into place. Something went right. Something so right, it's wrong.

And my lips were suddenly on hers and her arms were around my neck. In an instant we were transported to a place where all that is left is me, and her, and us just kissing and kissing until we'd both lost our minds. Her hands tugged on my hair and the console dug on my back, but I didn't care because the only thing that mattered now is us... just us – kissing and kissing until we'd completely crossed the line.

And suddenly every emotion that I've been feeling this past few weeks increased threefold. Everything was just frantic and mad and perfectly crazy – like Lily and I have been deprived of something true until now. Except nothing about this is true because nobody knows about it. Everything is secret and wrong and I feel like such a jerk because I'm cheating on my girlfriend again.

But it's okay. Everything will be okay because we'll tell Ray tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow. And Bridget too. Can't forget about Bridget.

Yet it's easy to forget when everything is frantic and mad and perfectly crazy like this. And who cares anymore, right? Certainly not me and certainly not Lily. And maybe other people do, but I don't see anyone else here but us. Just me and her. Not caring. Because this is it. This is everything...

Two hours later Lily pulled away from my embrace, her hands still clutching the front of my shirt. She said that it was getting late and that she needed to go home so I regrettably said "okay" and I let her go.

Two hours later I was running back to my house with my heart still pounding in my chest and my thoughts still flowing with exhiliration. I reached my front porch and ran through the door... past the empty shelves... past the big brown boxes... and up the stairs to my room where my father was waiting for me.

My father was waiting for me.

Which is odd because he never goes to my room. Not even for a quick visit. Yet I saw in his eyes a mix of sadness and regret and unspoken apologies and suddenly my heart dropped to my stomach. I knew that look all to well. Not again, Dad... not again.

"I've been reassigned," he says.

"We're moving in a week," he says.

"I'm sorry," he says.

And suddenly, after all the good things that had happened today, I felt like throwing up.

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A/N: Ooooh... 100 intense – NOT! Originally this chapter was going to be one huge makeout session but I realized that I can't write kissing scenes!!! I mean, I may be good at writing thoughts and stuff, but when it comes to love scenes, I totally suck. But anyways, I hope you guys are still enjoying the story. Keep the reviews coming!

P.S. Hey Dani, want some pudding?