A/n- I'll cut to the chase, you've all waited long enough. XP



Seeing Grey - Part LXV - Moenibus Munire




Remus,

It's Richard again. If you're reading this, please write back. We can't find your brother or Shelly, and now you're keeping yourself hidden from us. Please, come and visit us! You're always welcome in our home.

The Hollens

So, are you going?

Remus turned around, and glared something violent at Caleb.

Do you enjoy peering over my shoulder and reading my letters?

Caleb replied without a trace of sarcasm. It's very entertaining.

Remus rolled his eyes, and threw the letter into the trash. Aren't you supposed to be in the Med building? Broken ribs or something? he asked in hopes of sending the man off.

Melhane's off shopping, in laymens meaning I can do as I please. came the cheerful reply. So, really, why don't you go visit? They are your family after all.

They're my brother's family, not mine. And I don't feel up to visiting. Remus muttered.

Well, too bad. Caleb interrupted, planting a hand on Remus' shoulder. You have been nothing but a depressed mess lately, and we're all sick of it.



We're tired of seeing you like this, it's very discouraging. I already wrote them and said you were coming.

You what?

You need to get out. Caleb declared, oddly delighted to see the look of betrayal on Remus' face. You'll be there tonight on your own will or by mine.

This is cruel. Remus growled.

Isn't it, though? Caleb grinned.



Remus! Good to see you son, good to see you! Mrs. Hollen said enthusiastically, welcoming him inside by whisking away his cloak and ushering him to a chair.

I can't stay long. he said by way of greeting, not removing the frown from his face. Frankly, I have to be going shortly.

That's alright dear, any visit is a good one. she said with a warm smile. After a bit of shuffling about aimlessly, she laid a tray of cookies on the coffee table and invited him to dig in.

He shook his head, and took in a long breath.

Have you heard from Shelly? he said, asking the question that they both wanted.

No... Remus dear, do you know what happened? she inquired, biting on her lip. I'm... I'm afraid that...

Yes, I know what happened. he interrupted, cutting her worst fears short. Remus remembered that the Hollen's first daughter had been killed by Dark mages a few years previous, and he knew the mother was thinking the worst for her surviving child. Shelly's alive, don't worry.

Relief gushing from her face, Mrs. Hollen broke into a wide smile.

Then why hasn't she returned our calls, or owls?

Remus closed his eyes, and wished he didn't have to play Hermes. Shelly... She lost the baby. Miscarried.

He wanted to lock his eyes away from the look of horror on the mother's face, but felt it his duty to meet her gaze.

A band of werewolves attacked, she miscarried from injury or stress.

How... H-how did you-

I had a brief encounter with Romolus. he said shortly. Shelly ran off, he told me.

Then, why hasn't Rom...

He's indisposed. Remus explained, his mind torn between the need to comfort and the desire to run away. I haven't heard from him since.

Mrs. Hollen nodded her head, unable to find words to fit her grief.

I have to be going... I'll write if I hear from either of them. he said, dragging himself to the coat rack. With a short nod and an unhelpful look of pity, Remus closed the door behind him.



How the hell... Remus asked himself, gently setting his feet on the damp ground. He blinked, wondering briefly if his tired eyes were playing tricks on him.



He was sure, quite positive really, that he had set out for James' mansion, a chance to break away from the constant headache he was living. The predicament of the moment was that he now hovered lightly over the ground that just happened to preceded the old battered shack in Canterbury.

His mouth curled into a sad smile, and he let out a sigh, one withheld for years on end.

Hello again, Elise. he said with a wave to the gravestone residing in the back of the property.






Remus leaned back on the rickety couch, and took a second to clear his mind as he stared at the cobweb ceiling above.

What the hell do I do now, Elise? he questioned. He rubbed his calloused hands across his eyes, and wondered why he felt like crying. How do I get out of this mess... Please,... I don't know what to do anymore, that's what scares me the most... I can't be alone again.



Remus awoke to the sensation of extreme fear. Instinctively, he grabbed for his wand and evoked his canine abilities to inform him further.

What the? he asked himself, thinking something was horribly awry with his nose. A moment later, his doubts were answered as his front door flew open.

Make one move and-

Remus stared.

The intruder stared.

Both of them rolled their eyes at God.

You have got to be kidding me. she said sarcastically. This is some sick joke my boss is playing, right?

If it is, I wasn't told. Remus said casually, setting his wand down on the makeshift coffee table in front of him. So, you're back working for the Ministry?

Ms. Horder frowned, and nodded briefly. She hadn't lowered her wand yet, a very unnerving indication for the unfortunate few who found themselves at the other end. Dark Arts Defense Squad. she said quietly, still staring at Remus.

Er, want to sit down? he asked, now worried that she was still armed and he wasn't. The fact that she declined without words increased his tension.

You wouldn't happen to know a man by the name of Simmers, would you? the young woman asked, stepping closer. We've been tracking him for a few years... And the other day...

Remus tried to look innocent as best he could, but apparently it was not enough to fool the professional. Before he could lean forward to grab his wand, he found himself on the wrong side of a trained Auror.

Make one more move kid, I promise you'll regret it. she warned, the confused look gone from her blue eyes. I came here to bring back who's been busting our werewolf capture program, and I intend to finish that particular assignment.

By bringing in your own student? Remus dared. I don't think you can. You know me too well,

she interrupted with a threatening flick of her wand. I know you well enough, it makes perfect sense. So spill it, kid. How the hell did you get involved in the worst bust program against the Ministries?

Remus swallowed, his voice caught in his throat. Ms. Horder on-duty was quite different from the cynical woman that used to laugh at foolish boys from Hogwarts.

I was caught. he began, very slowly leaning back on the couch. Ms. Horder moved closer, and carefully snatched his wand off the table.

And our good friend Simmers weaseled you out of Ministry hands? she guessed, not waiting for a confirming answer. Well kid, you're in a hell of a lot of trouble. My Squad has a warrant out for your capture, then.

Then why haven't you called them in? Remus asked, eyes narrowed to dark slits. If you truly wanted to, I wouldn't be here right now.

Where you involved in the last raid or not? the Auror asked tightly. I like you Lupin, I don't want to see your life be ruined because of a few bad choices.

Remus smiled, and let out a small laugh. My entire life has been a bad choice. One after another, and it can't possibly be ruined any further... No, I don't regret a thing that's happened with the Ministry. They're the ones that are making bad choices where I'm concerned.

Where you, or where you not, present? she repeated, standing right above him with a very serious glare affixed upon him.

Remus admitted almost mockingly. I was there. I simply had a blast, too. Trying to get twenty-some werewolves out under fire and all. Guns, you know. There was a four year old girl crying the whole time, and a ring of four men who killed my brother's child the previous night. I had a blast, Ms. Horder. You see, everything that's happened to me has been wasted effort. he continued, meeting her gaze without fear. Everything I've done has been to keep my family together. It hasn't worked. Remus declared, letting a lifetime's worth of misery spill out. It had been too long, so long since he had told anyone. My father tried to kill me when I was nine, and I slit his throat while I was half-transformed.

She shut her eyes for a moment, and the wand lowered barely an inch.

My mother couldn't handle it, her son being a murderer. So my brother, only two years elder, fled with me. We stole, we lied, and we fought just for a scrap of food and an empty shack to sleep in. I was happy like that, sad as it seems. Those were the best years of my life! But no, like everything that's happened, it didn't last. Romolus went off to Hogwarts at request of the old Headmaster, and I was left on my own ten months a year.

You cou-

She wouldn't take me back, I tried. he explained, still laughing at himself sarcastically. His werewolf precognitive senses were pulling scraps of conversation into his thoughts before they were spoken. My own mother slammed the door in my face and denied me a place to live. She died too, like everything else.

He shook his head, and shrugged at the woman.

I'd lost everything. he admitted. So when the Ministry caught me, I didn't want to escape anymore. Why go back to the world that felt it necessary to destroy my life whenever I managed to grasp onto a little joy?



Some brave kid, really he was only a kid, got me out. I was thrown here, in this very house. He waved his hands around to emphasize the moment he arrived in the tiny shack. I met a girl, fell in love, and she died. Want to know just how she died?

Ms. Horder tried to say no, but the words never made it. The boy continued on in such a frantic frenzy, crazed with his words. It was as if he felt they would destroy him if he didn't force them out now, that they'd be locked inside forever.

You. Your squad of protectors' shot her, many many times. I carried her back to this house, bloody as hell itself, and watched her die. Remus knew he was crying now, but he took no action to wipe away his tears. I couldn't stand it. Watching all the rescued ones come back, I couldn't stand it any longer! Having to watch innocent people walk in your front door, mangled beyond recognition and too scared to go out in public. I still can't stand it.

So you tried to stop it? Ms. Horder asked, her voice taking on a gentle tone Remus had never heard before. It had been years since he'd heard that tone. Never before had it come from one who tracked his kind as prey.

I had to do something. He tried, but one can only do so much... After a while it was my game. As soon as I left my false little world of security, once school ended for the holiday', it was right back to living a lie. Taking on another identity and saving a few, it numbed the pain. It was normal, consistent. I had a home and people who accepted me for who I was...

Remus heard the wand fall to the ground, and felt the comforting weight next to him.

It changed. he said simply, welcoming the arm about his shoulder. An unfamiliar warmth, one he wouldn't allow anyone to offer before.

My brother was there... I couldn't tell him who I was, but I could be with him. It was nice. But, it changed. Remus took a moment to catch his shifty voice, and finally took notice that the Auror sent to capture him was now embracing him. Rom's wife was attacked on the full moon. She miscarried, and she was too scared to stay near my brother. Where Rom was, I would be. She knew I was one, one of those who stole her son.

It's not your fault, she said quietly.

Romolus was... He snapped. The only thing he had was gone, and he needed revenge. Remus muttered, his words unsteady and his face changing so rapidly it was hard for the woman to tell what he was feeling.

The raid?

I was there helping them escape. Remus mumbled. But Romolus showed up, with a gun. He knew how to kill us, he knows everything about us. He grew up raising one. Remus said with a sick laugh. To him, I was just... Another monster. I was in the way again. He wanted them dead, and that included me. But I couldn't let him hurt them, so-

Come on, I'll take you home. Ms. Horder interrupted, not wanting to hear the rest of his rueful tale. Tell me where to go Lupin, you shouldn't stay here any longer.



Stop there, intruder.

Wonderful, they have guards. Ms. Horder mumbled resentfully, rolling her eyes at the large man. Look, I'm not one for lengthy conversations, so how about we skip the shit and get to the point. I work for the Ministry, in a dispatch unit that would simply love to know of this town. Second point, I've carried your less-than-lightweight buddy here all through the forest, thanks to your lovely Anti-Apparation Field. Now please, open your pretty gate and let me get on with my illogical existence.

The guard, a very burly man that could take the small woman down easily, blinked in confusion. Twice he peered around the strange lady, trying to figure out if Remus was truly the boy slumped across her back.

she said loudly, snapping her fingers in front of his face. Gate, want to try opening it for me?

With no response, she brushed past him, and lightly tapped it, checking for any protective charms. Shrugging to herself, she flipped a small clasping lock, and allowed herself entrance.

Pretty shabby place, I'd suggest hiring someone to fix it up. she said jokingly, looking around the small stretch of road than ran between the rows of buildings. Oh, hello? she called, waving with her free arm at a passing girl. The small child ran off with a terrified look, slamming a door behind her.

Alright. I never did like kids anyway... Ms. Horder muttered, trying to find someone nearby.



You'd be Caleb Simmers?

Who's asking? he questioned through the door crack, not allowing her passage into his home.

Celia Horder, Special Forces Auror, Second Class. Member of the Dark Arts Defense Squad, you know, the ones that deal with Dark cases, like the werewolf crisis. she said with a mocking salute, fully intending the anger the man. It was her small counteraction for all the paperwork and headaches he had caused her before.

Caleb blinked, and finally took notice of Remus slummed next to the door. With a fitful string of swearing, he ripped the door open and grabbed Remus' collar.

He isn't going to wake up conventionally. Ms. Horder informed him. Little git wouldn't exactly tell me where to go...

Veritaserum is Ministry regulated. Caleb said, his wand drawn immediately.

Oh, come off it kid. she said, not letting him protest to being called kid'. I am part of an elite squad of mages, you honestly think I don't know alternatives?

Just wake him up. Caleb grumbled, his hand still gripping Remus' robes.

Shrugging to herself, Ms. Horder removed the spell and awoke a very disgruntled teenager.

WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? WERE YOU THINKING?

Remus rubbed his eyes, trying to make some sort of comprehension out of the moment.

How the hell could you ruin us like this? Caleb shouted, pulling him inside the house. A second later he slammed the door, promptly locking out the confused Auror.

I'm, here?

Damn right you're here! he yelled. You brought a Godforsaken Ministry officer to my front door!

Outside, behind the protection of the dense oak door, Ms. Horder chuckled to herself.

I guess I should be ashamed of enjoying this, she mused to herself, finding a comfortable place on the wall to lean against. but I'm not.



Oh Jesus, are they going at it again? a woman asked, setting down a brown paper bag of groceries at the top of the small porch. Ms. Horder, relieved of her official Ministry robes for fear that she'd be mauled, gestured a yes.

You must be new around here. I'm Melhane. she introduced, pulling her dark hair behind her ears and out of her face. I'm terribly sorry, they get like that some time... Almost like brothers, aren't they?

More like a married couple. Ms. Horder said with a guilty smile. It's not a problem, I've just been out here admiring the city.

Melhane nodded, and looked around with grim dissatisfaction. There's still so much more to be done. I fear it will never be suitable to raise the children...

Oh, you have kids? Ms. Horder asked. It was a divine hatred of hers, small humans. At the moment she wished the information so she could avoid the brats at all costs, though she was misunderstood.

They aren't mine, they're Rem... Well, it's complicated. she said, scratching at her head with a carefree smile. But oh, they're adorable little dears! Twins, you know. Poor things though, the Ministry executed their parents over a year ago. We've been taking care of them since Caleb and Remus pulled them out. You've met Caleb, I take? Melhane said very quickly, eager to make what she assumed was a new arrival feel at home.

Ms. Horder confirmed, curious in a sense of her profession. Is he the one that started this city? Remus only told me a little, I found him rather shy of talk.

Oh, yes. Caleb started this many years ago, when he was eleven I think. He was captured at ten and held as a test subject, all sorts of horrible experiments. When he escaped, it became his life goal to help as many of us as he could. Remus is following his footsteps, as you know. Started a while ago, with Caleb of course, but he's been working on his own recently. Melhane confessed, smiling in admiration. Just the other day he saved over a dozen in quite a raid.

Really? How wonderful. Ms. Horder grinned, fingering her wand in her pocket. So, tell me more about their trips, they sound very exciting.

Well, I haven't been around as long as the others, but fr-



The door slammed open, exposing a red-faced and very agitated Caleb.

Caleb! Be polite, we have a guest! Melhane snapped back with a sour look.

Oh, very cute. he shot back, thinking it a joke. Whatever the hell your name is, Serena or whatnot-



-in here now.

What is wrong with today? Melhane interrupted, stepping forward and glaring right at her boyfriend. You've never been this rude to a new arrival before!

Oh, you think this woman is a new arrival? Caleb laughed cynically. No, you misunderstand Mel. She's not one of us, not at all.

What do... You mean? she questioned, looking back at Ms. Horder in confusion.

She's the enemy Mel, she's the one that bloody well kills us. And our little hero boy led her right here.

Behind him, Remus blinked, and slowly gazed from his mentor to his teacher. As realization dawned upon his night of ignorance, he hung his head in shame.

I'm... Sorry. he whispered. I'm really sorry!

He ran by, brushing past Caleb and Ms. Horder before either had ample time to react.

That kid is just not having a good life. she muttered with a frown.



A/n Oh Lord above... I'm alive! Yes, I have endured Hell Week. For those unfamiliar with my school (all of you, I pray) Hell Week is the first week and a half of bootcamp-esque conditioning for school sports. It sucks, I'm miserable from it, and unfortunately I made the lacrosse team. I think I'm going to quit now that I've endured 33 hours of training. Yes, I'm insane.

Anyway, so sorry for the HUGE and painful delay in updating! I'm truly truly honest-to-God trying to get these chapters done quicker, but it's freakishly difficult right now.


In other news, SG's 1 year anniversary is rapidly approaching! A few of you, Lynx namely (love ya!) have been reading this since its date of publishing. For this special edition I plan a surprise, hopefully, so keep your eyes open.

Iggie, who is very sorry for all the unnecessary lay overs.


Title Meaning- Moenibus Munire means to wall up, as with stone. Metaphorically, it's Remus holding everything inside for too long, ie pent up emotion.