Title: I Could Still See the Postcards
Author: Roguester
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own Travis, Lily, Ray, or Bridget. But I think the devil does.
Recommended background music: Promise by Matchbook Romance

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Chapter 10: Postcards From Home

(Lily)

I struggled to find closure and failed miserably. Then again, it's only Saturday.

Travis left yesterday, but I didn't go with him to the airport because I couldn't bear to see him leave. Seeing the packed suitcases was painful enough so I stayed behind and left Ray and Robbie with the necessary farewells. I mean, it all happened so fast. We didn't even get the chance to discuss how his departure might affect RFR. Nobody even bothered to talk about it. There just wasn't enough time.

I sat cross-legged on my bed, trying hard not to cry. I mean, it all happened so fast that I didn't even get the chance to be pissed off at the world. There was no huge drama, no huge fight scenes... just tears. Lots of tears. And I don't think anything else could suck out louder than this. So here I am, sitting cross-legged on my bed, trying to figure out exactly what I was feeling.

And I came down to this conclusion: I'm depressed. Yes, I'm depressed. And... unsatisfied. I mean, is this it? Is this the big finale? It's all so... anti-climactic. There has got to be more to this than just a simple goodbye. There has got to be more to this than just... this.

I flipped through some CD's that were laying on my desk and started to panic. Travis didn't even teach us how to operate his equipment! RFR can't go on the air if none of us knows how to operate all those switches! I can't believe that Travis didn't even think about the future of the station. How dare he leave without telling us how to work the console. How dare he.

And you know what? I really hate him right now. I really do. I hate him for leaving Roscoe and I hate him for making me feel like this. Like I'm depressed, and unsatisfied, and helpless at the same time. Because no matter how hard I try to hate him, I just couldn't... I couldn't hate him. And I don't hate him, I just –

"Lily, sweetheart, a package came for you," my mother peeked through the door and tossed a small box at me, "Come down for dinner soon, okay?"

I nodded at her and carefully inspected the package. It was wrapped in the usual brown paper and it had my name and address on the front. I wondered where it came from, but it didn't have the sender's name on it. And who delivers mail at 6pm anyway? I raced down the stairs and called after my mom who was setting the table in the dining room. "Who gave you this package?" I asked, "And when?"

My mom just looked at me as if I was supposed to know who the package came from. "Why, Robbie came by just now to drop it off, honey," she smiled, "He said it was 'express' delivery."

Confused, I walked back to my room and sat down on the floor. I held the package in my hands and gave it a little shake. When I didn't hear any sound, I began to unwrap it. Bit by bit, I peeled the tape off the brown paper, careful not to rip anything. And it's stupid, really. I could just easily tear off the wrapper and save some precious time, but I didn't. Instead, I opened the package slowly... like it was fragile and important and valuable. Like I was expecting something big... something that says, 'Wake up. This is only a dream.'

So bit by bit I peeled the tape off the package, holding my breath as I revealed its contents...

Postcards. Lots and lots of postcards. Fifty, I think. Or maybe even a hundred. Just a thick stack of postcards sitting right in front of me. My hands began to shake as I folded the brown paper wrapper and set it aside. With lips pressed tight, I supressed a delirious sob: Travis' last words to me were, "I'll send you a postcard." And as soon as that realization hit me, I started to tremble all over.

Bit by bit I flipped through the postcards, holding my breath as I read their contents. Bit by bit I flipped through them as the dried up tears begin to sting my eyes again.

Dear Lily – I know I said that I'll send you a postcard, but I guess I went a little overboard. I hope you don't mind. Love, Travis.

Dear Lily – Miss Communication says: Smile. That frown doesn't go with those pants. Mmmkay? Love, Travis.

Dear Lily – Remember the first time we kissed? I said that we both lost our ways. Well, I've found mine. I've found my way – with you as my compass. Love, Travis.

Dear Lily – Come over to Ray's. He misses you. Love, Travis

One by one I read through all the postcards – fifty of them, I think. Or maybe even a hundred. I scanned through each message, re-reading them over and over again until I stopped crying altogether. Some of Travis' words were sweet and others were just downright silly, and I couldn't help but smile because I felt like he never really left me.

I took the final postcard and held it firmly in my hand. Curious to see which country it came from, I turned it over. But when I finally saw the picture on the back, I felt like crying all over again.

The postcard was from Roscoe.

And I kept thinking to myself, "Wake up! This is only a dream!" But somehow, someway, I knew that I was wide awake. I grabbed the other postcards and turned them all over, and to my surprise they all came from the same place: Roscoe, Roscoe, Roscoe. Each one of them from Roscoe. Everywhere Roscoe.

I looked down at the postcard that I was clutching in my hands and read its contents once again: Dear Lily. Come over to Ray's. He misses you. Love, Travis.

"Come over to Ray's," it said, and without any second thoughts I gathered all the postcards and bolted out of my room.

I ran and I ran as my heart pounded in my chest. I tried to hold my body up as my knees began to weaken, but my heart pounded anyway and I felt like choking. Within minutes I found myself standing in front of Ray's house and I stopped on my tracks because I didn't know what to do next. Within minutes I was out of breath and I stopped on my tracks because I saw Ray and Robbie waiting for me in the front porch.

"It was all my idea," Ray said with a grin as he carefully stood up to open the door. "Just a small part of my brilliant, but VERY evil, plan."

He motioned for me to come in, but I stopped short of the threshold because I felt lightheaded all of a sudden. With a slight push from Robbie, I finally budged and as I entered the door my heart dropped to my stomach.

I mean, there he was. Standing somewhere between home and hell, I'm sure, but a place unfamiliar to him nonetheless. Somewhere that's supposed to be Germany, as his father so graciously informed him, but a place now too insignificant to even matter.

I mean, there he was. Travis – my Travis – in the flesh... standing right in front of me.

And I could see Ray and Robbie sitting by the stairs giggling and nudging each other in amusement. They were grinning like mad and beaming with pride, and I don't know what it was, but their laughter really struck a chord. "Meet the new border," Ray finally announced, and as I punched him in the arm a heavy feeling was lifted off my chest.

The next thing I remember was me running up to Travis, wrapping my arms around him in a fierce embrace. The next thing I remember was my body crashing into his, knocking off the postcards that were tightly clutched in my hands...

"I thought you were gone," I finally said. "I never really left," he quietly replied.

And there were postcards. Lots and lots of postcards. Fifty, I think. Or maybe even a hundred. Scattering down, light as air, all over the place and into our deepest memories.

(stay tuned...)

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A/N: Tee hee! So Travis didn't leave after all. If you go back to Chapter 9, you'll realize that I never really indicated that Travis was in Germany. As a matter of fact, that whole time he was writing to Bridget he was staying at Ray's house. I mean, it's definitely the place between home and hell, don't you think? At least in Travis' case ;-)