A/n- Gah. Finishing the evil chapter and tying some loose ends here. Bear with me.





Seeing Grey - Part LXIX - Window Pain





Remus awoke with a start, his eyes wide open.

What happened last night?' he mentally asked himself. He was quite certain he wasn't drunk. But...

Slowly, he removed himself from the bed, looking around. Woods. Ah yes, the girl.

Girl.

He looked back, and was frightened to find her contentedly sleeping where she shouldn't be: his bed.

Trying to recall even the smallest detail from before, Remus only drew up a blank.

Cold... He realised he wasn't wearing his shirt. Or his pants. Ah, there they were. On the girl again.

Bloody hell. he said to himself, his eyes wider than before. What happened?

He sat himself down on a fallen log by the dead fire, and racked his brain for information. Unfortunately, it was too early in the morning, and e was far too tired to remember that nothing had happened. Instead, he feared otherwise.

This is bad... There's a girl wearing my pants and my shirt, in my bed, in the middle of nowhere... he muttered, his brain still unable to produce logical thoughts or memories that would settle the situation. I don't remember last night. Come on Moony, what happened?

He looked around, rocking back in forth with nerve, and noticed with a startle that there was another set of clothes lying in a pile nearby.

Remus let out a very unhappy yelp.

At the most inopportune and worst time possible, Remus remembered something Sirius had told him.

Aw, bloody hell. he grumbled in dismay, his head falling forward to his hands. This is not happening... I don't even remember her name!



Some time later, Remus was shaken awake. He had fallen asleep staring at the pile of embers in remorse during the early morning hours.

Sorry about last night, you know. the girl started, sitting down next to him.

Still wearing his pants.

Wasn't a dream...'

I don't know why I do that sometimes. she continued, running her fingers through her hair in attempts to comb it out.

Er... I... Remus stammered.

Ah, shit. Are you sick? she asked, frowning. I should probably give you your shirt back, no? Now, where'd I toss mine....

The girl, still wearing Remus' pants, wandered off in search of her clothes.

Remus slipped off the log, and just decided to jut lay in the dirt. Maybe he would die there, if God would be kind enough to answer his current prayers.

Remus, is something wrong? You're pale.

This isn't happening. he moaned.




So when were you bitten? Rhint asked, walking a distance away from him, hands always in her pockets. Remus had the feeling she was still clutching her knife, although she hadn't pulled it out on him since daybreak.

I was about nine. What about you?

Four years ago. Someone my brother knew had it, he got to me one night. she said bitterly. Here eyes were shut tight, as if she was in pain from just remembering the past.

It's all right, I didn't mean to pry. Remus said. After a few steps, he caught sight of the edge of the forest.

Want to get something to eat? There should be some restaurants around here, and we've an extra hour to waste.

I don't have any money. Rhint said quietly.

Neither do I.

Both smiled to themselves, and walked off to find a diner to terrorize.



Er, last night... Remus began, stopping before he reached the out-of-service telephone booth in Liverpool. Did I, um, do anything?

Rhint blinked, and waited for him to elaborate.

Like... Us, I...

You don't remember last night? she asked with her slightly off accent, sporting a confused frown. Oh, well, you got sick I guess, you were sneezing all night. It woke me up a few times.

But did...

It was impossible for Remus to find the words, or the courage to speak them. At the moment, he would prefer to be facing Ministry gunfire or stray Unforgivables than what he was attempting there.

Apparently, his burning red face spoke the unspoken for him.

Oh, Mother of God, no! she burst out, torn between disgust and amusement.

Part of Remus was yelling out in relief. The other, well, it wanted to die with all it's heart.

I cannot believe that you thought- Oh, man, I needed that. I haven't laughed in years, not like that...

Glad you're amused. Remus managed to choke out, his entire body seizing up in humiliation.

Oh, come on chap, don't feel bad. Hell, I was wearing your clothes this morning. she said with the slightest grin she could manage. In a short while, she burst out laughing again, unable to hold back her amusement.

An honest mistake...

We should get going. the flamingly red Remus mumbled, trying to hide in the glare of the morning sun. Should ring soon...

Before Rhint could snigger any longer, the supposedly broken telephone let out a sharp, annoying buzz. Desperately remus reached inside, and grabbing Rhint by the wrist, answered his ticket home.


This place, it's amazing. Everyone here is...

Every last one of them. Remus confirmed. He pointed way down the road, to where Caleb's house stood proudly on it's own lot. That's where I live.

Where am I going to stay? she inquired, mouth still open in awe. For once, she was no longer holding her knife. She felt no threat.

Not sure. Let's go find out, shall we?


She can shack up at Mel's place for now. Caleb said with a shrug, eyeing the girl over carefully. Oh, yeah, Lupin...

You've got to be kidding me. Remus picked up, his shoulders hanging down sadly. You let her move in?

Aw come on kid, give me a break. Caleb defended, though not bothering to hide his smile. I needed help with the brats.

No, you wanted a more convenient way to sha-

-so you'll have to room elsewhere until we settle in. Caleb interrupted, cheeks tingeing red.

Did I do something wrong? Rhint whispered, standing up on her toes to reach Remus' ear.

You managed to escape my grasp for three years. Caleb said, wondering why she wasn't keen on her own capabilities. A while back I received word of you, but you always got away.

I have a habit of running. she said, almost apologetically.

No worry, whatever you run from can't get you here. Caleb said with a warm smile, something she wasn't used to nor had the experience to respond to.

Well, I'll show you to your place. Remus said. If you want, I can get Melhane ot take you down to the shops to get some things, so I can have my shirt back. he joked, plucking at the massively oversized garment.

Rhint smiled wide once more, and without explanation, kissed him once on the cheek before she ran outside.

Caleb let out a snort, and winked at his friend.

You aren't supposed to shag the rescues, you know. I think it's against policy.

Remus, his face almost that to match a neon sign, sputtered something incomprehensible.

Go on, your girlfriend is waiting.

S-she isn't my-

Just don't do anything while the twins are within range. Oh, locking doors helps too. I'd rather not walk in on anything.

WE DIDN'T-

Caleb smiled, fully understanding the situation but not letting on as such.

She's pretty cute, you're lucky.

He winked once, and promptly left a flustered Remus alone.

What did I do to deserve this, huh? he asked God with a solemn face. Why me?



Lupin, ah, good to see you back. the old man at the mail counter said with a grin. You're box 212... And 213. He chuckled, unloading the massive pile of letters that wouldn't fit into one compartment. Maybe you should get Simmers to empty your box from time to time, since you're gone so often.

Remus nodded, and stuffed the mass of parchment into his robe pocket, tuning to go and smacking into Rhint.

I don't know where anything is. she explained, having followed him since he had woken up from her living room floor an hour ago. She noticed the letters, and inquired upon their origin.

Er, some are from my friends-

You have friends on the outside?

-and the rest are from the Hogwarts professors.

Rhint swallowed once, and went silent.

I'm on my last year... he said, feeling guilty for not having informed her. It ends next June, then I'll be here-

How are you attending? she asked quietly, looking a mixture of jealous and hurt.

Rhint? Oy, anyone here- Ah, you must be Rhint.

Melhane has popped into the post house, looking far too cheerful and overly dressy.

Caleb said you might need some things from town, and I was already on my way. Would you like to come along?

I haven't any-

You're welcome to use our funds. Melhane interrupted quickly. Some of the people here have donated portions of their accounts to the newcomers fund.

I really wouldn't... I couldn't, not someone else's-

Rhint, this isn't like the rest of the world. Remus said gently, breaking her off before she fell into her sullen state. Every one of us has been through the same situation at some point. It's help, not pity.

Come on, let's go get you some proper clothes. Melhane said with a perky smile. You look far too shabby in Remus' shirt like that.

Found yourself another sort of trouble, eh lad? the old man asked with the same smirk.



You've been through the gates of hell and back, but you just found the heart of it all right there. he said with a nod tot he door.

Ah... Yeah. Remus said with a smile, scratching his head idly. Suppose so.




Remus,

It's been too long Remus, we're worried about your brother. Shelly says you know what happened. Please, please tell us where he is. You two are family, I can't stand having things this way. Tell us what is going on!

Remus crumpled up the letter, and tossed it into the roaring fireplace. For the past fifteen minutes he had been disposing of such letters. The Hollens has sent at least ten of the same nature, urgently requesting his reply or information.

Shelly hadn't sent one herself, and there was never mention of an apology.

Quite a load of mail for a loner. Garade mused from the open window, leaning on the shabby wooden panel.

It's all from the same family. Remus muttered, filing through three more short scrolls labeled from the Hollens. I'd reply, but I don't know what to say.

Oh? What's the problem?

I think I killed my brother. Remus said, biting his lip to one side thoughtfully.

You... Romolus? Jesus, you two- what the hell happened?

The last major rescue. Remus explained, having long since swallowed his discomfort. My brother was there, and to make a long story, he was drunk and in mourning. I got in the way, and I wasn't going to just let him kill off the others. So...

You killed your brother? he gapped.

Are you dense or is it really that hard to imagine? Remus snapped.

Bloody fuck Lupin, he said, drawling out every word. I know you are one hell of a beast when you have your sights set on a goal, but... Never in my life would I have imagined this scenario.

He might not be dead. Remus said with mild optimism. I only remember casting a spell, whether he's alive or not I don't know. My letter was returned, though it could have just been him.

Why don't you go find him? Garade suggested, more than surprised he was being so calm about the situation. You're more than capable of tracking him.

Rhint will kill someone. he said with a shrug. She trusts me somewhat, and still she nearly pulls a knife to me every time I move too quickly. Besides, there's too much to be done around here-



Both looked away, and found Caleb at the door.

If you ahd told me before, I would have made you go. he said with an odd force present in his voice. he looked out to Garade, and the boy immediately withdrew.

I know you too damn well to let this go. Caleb snapped. This is going to eat at your sanity, so go find-

Leave me alone. Remus muttered, rolling his eyes.

If you don't go out, you're going to get crazy again.

What gives you the right to think you know what's best for me? Remus asked.

YOU don't even know what's best for you! I sure as hell know that waiting around and avoiding the truth isn't going to help any. Caleb answered, frowning.

I'm not avoiding-

Don't bullshit me, too late for that. Caleb interrupted, setting his cane at the door as he finally walked in. Like it or not, I know how you think even if you aren't aware of it yourself.

Remus turned away, staring at the broken window pane by his desk.

I don't want to know what happened. he admitted.

Of course you don't. Caleb said, sitting down across his friend. There's a hell of a lot more to the story than you'll ever confess to me, but if you turned wand on your kin, there's no way you would want the truth.




His head upturned, looking somewhat appreciative towards Caleb, Remus wondered when his friend had grown so wise.

Forcing you to help yourself. Caleb answered the unspoken question with a dark gaze. I have no time to be a child any more when there's you and the entire populous to look after.

I'm sorry, for being such a fool.

Get it out now while you still can. Caleb said whimsically. Once you leave those castle doors for the last time, that's it. Lost forever...

Remus nodded, staring at the glass before him. Inside, for a brief moment, he saw his brother staring back at him smiling as he used to in the past.

Always there for me... Remus mumbled, lost in the few memories he cared to recall.

You need to ask yourself what you want. Caleb suggested, standing up unsteadily. Until then, well, I'll be here in place of him. All of us will be.

Thank you.


Romolus, what should I do if something happens to you?

Nothing will happen. he replied matter-of-factly. I'll always be around as long as you need me.

But what if- What if you get in an accident, or hurt yourself in Quidditch, or something explodes at Hogwarts or-

He chuckled, and shook his head to the little boy tugging on his sleeve.

I'll be fine Remus, honestly. Nothing is going to happen to me at Hogwarts, nor anywhere else for that matter. he explained, smiling all too optimistically. Remus grumbled, showing his dislike for such a look he didn't believe in.

No Rom, really! What if something does happen? Cause I... I wont have anywhere to go, not with...

You'll be fine Remus, and so will I.

He waved goodbye, still smiling stupidly as he boarded the Hogwarts Express.


Not once did he answer the question. It was asked time and time again, but never once did the worried child receive and answer.


I guess that was one thing you never could tell me. Remus told the reflection staring at him, one looking particularly like Romolus. Maybe... No, you were right. There isn't an answer. That was something I needed to figure on my own, brother.

He sighed solemnly, and turned away from the misty image that nodded, still smiling stupidly, eternally.



A/n- Alright, happy about the double post? I'd better get TWO reviews, everyone! :-D

Iggie