Seeing Grey - Part LXXIII - Noir





Where are we supposed to go?

The man, blue eyes sparkling sadly, frequently turned to look behind him as he walked.

I'm not sure. a smaller girl replied, shaking her head thoughtfully. I don't think there is anywhere we can go.

Without even speaking a word, they both agreed to take a break from their long walk.

I guess all we can do is wait for him.

In his nerve, the man nodded, rolling his fingers along the edge of the public bench.

I had the dream again.



I'm serious! he interrupted, looking somewhat offended by the roll of eyes he had received. We can make it work. I swear, if we keep this up a little longer-

If we keep it up any longer we're going to die. the girl said, her face set in a cold stare. Running off one poor man at a time isn't going to change anything in the long run.

If we keep-

Caleb, please. If anything is to change in our world, there would have to be a miracle.

Then dammit Elise, I'll find one.



Slowly, Remus opened his eyes to the faint sound of nearby tapping.

he mumbled, his lips feeling numb.

Startled, he tried to sit upright, but found it impossibly painful to attempt.

he cringed out, letting his head fall back the short inch it had risen. He realised, from the white all around, that he was in his room in the Infirmary. Why he was there, he couldn't gather. The full moon was still yet to come.

he slurred, catching a glimpse of him from the corner of his itchy eyes.

Resting uncomfortably against the back of a night stand, James was sleeping, his glasses crooked on his frowning face. Sirius had taken residence on the floor nearby, a puddle of drool below his head. Remus thought that he could see Peter and Lily slummed onto the bed next to his, their feet getting in the other's face every few moments.

he asked the ceiling, unable to move his head in any direction properly.

Giving an inward sigh, Remus gave up on yelling, and waited impatiently for the nurse to come and check on him.



He looks fine, but with that lot of people... One can never be sure if he isn't suffering from a complication I just can't see alone. I need to get the boy to Mungo's-

Poppy, you know that isn't possible. Dumbledore said quietly. All the while he had been talking, he had forced himself to smile, knowing Remus could at least see the pair from his bed.

Then let me bring in someone who wont report him. the nurse said, quickly looking over at her patient. I'm not going to compensate his well-being because of a silly condition the rest of the world doesn't find acceptable. it is my responsibility to keep these students in perfect health, I will not settle for anything less.

Nodding, knowing he wouldn't win the argument, Dumbledore agreed. We'll need his legal guardian's consent to this.

'E's nah... Remus tried to say, but lacking the volume, he gave up.

Feeling any better?

Sirius smiled, looking out from across the bed. He sat on the ground, his arms folded atop the foot of Remus' bed, still leaning as he tried to wake himself.

Remus made a feeble attempt of a shrug, but it was enough for his friend to read.

We should have listened to you, Moony. he said darkly, his eyes cloudy with regret. You wouldn't have gone back if we had all listened to you.



No, it isn't. Sirius interrupted. We know your precogs are almost always right, James and I should have gotten everyone into the castle.

Be'er me'n th' o'ers. Remus tried to voice, fighting to overcome the lack of response from his body.

Pausing, Sirius pondered the consequences of his own actions, and hung his head.

Dammit Moony, do you always have to play the hero?

When I know what's to happen if I don't...'

he said, a little more clear than before.

Else everyone will be hurt if I back away.'



Mr. Lupin! You are not to leave this-

I'm fine. Remus said, gritting his teeth. Every time he moved, placing pressure on his legs, a pain like fire swept over him. It would normally be enough to send him to the ground in distress, but he was far too determined to free himself of the white prison. I'm going back to class, I don't want to get behind in my work.

Sit down on the bed now, or I'll-

You said I wouldn't be able to move for a week. Remus said, trying to ignore the headache clouding his thoughts. And I'm fine enough right now You were wrong about that, so...

So outraged with a patient defying her, Madam Pomfrey only stood with her mouth ajar.

I'll come back if I'm not feeling well. Remus said, gathering his robes and managing to slip them on.

Without saying anything more, he closed the door behind him, immediately grasping the wall for support once out of sight.

Bloody hell, how do I always manage to nearly kill myself? he snapped.



Remus! Here, let me-

No, I'm al-



Stubborn as ever, Lily smiled as she ducked under his arm, forcing him to lean on her slightly.

There. See, I don't bite. she laughed, welcoming him back to Hogwarts. You always manage to avoid me, Remus.

James is very jealous over you, I don't want to give him the wrong idea.

God, she looks older...' he thought, looking her over. Everything about her seemed to age drastically over the summer, and for the better. He had to remind himself, very sternly, that this was his best friend's girlfriend.

Yes, well, James is a prat. she said, biting her lip. I swear, he's never going to let boys be around me unless we're married. He's so protective.

Remus, unable to help himself, merely smiled. That had been one of the few precogs he had ever felt at ease with. A vision not to be shared, though.

What time is it, Lily? I've been up there for a few days, I lost track of time.

she said, lost in thought for a moment. It's quarter after two, so you have Defense I think.

Memorized James' schedule? Whatever for?

They both chuckled at the truth.

So, why aren't you in class? he realised.

I was just waiting for you. Figured you wouldn't let that old nurse hold you up there for too long, no matter how ridiculously serious the circumstance.

Frowning, Remus tried to find a memory of the night.

What happened, exactly? he asked, simply unable to remember.

Scott Andrews and some of the Gryffindor first years were still out there, and you went back to get them. This is only what I overheard from James or Professor McGonnagal, so it isn't the whole story. she explained, stopping to let Remus lean against the wall. But from what I've gathered, there was already a group of... And well, you...

Took a hit for the team. Remus said, trying to smile. I'm alright Lily, you know.

She gazed back at him, emerald eyes withholding many questions. Someday, one of these days my friend, you wont be. It worries me, Remus.

I'm surprised I've made it this far. he said, wishing he didn't believe his own words.



Sorry I'm-

Playing the damn hero isn't an excuse for missing class. Ms. Horder snapped with set authority as he slipped into the room.

The Slytherins glared at him as if he were their new prey, all eyes watching as Remus quietly fumbled to get himself together.

Slightly stunned, the Marauders gapped as he forced himself in line at the back of the room.

What the hell are you doing? Sirius asked, his eyes wide.

After a moment of listening, Remus declared he was about to perform some simple blocking techniques for armed battle.

You were just cursed by Goddamn Dark mages! Why are you in class? James nearly shouted, attracting attention from across the room.

He braced himself for the verbal lashing, Sirius awaiting the demand to become the new dummy, as Ms. Horder did not tolerate her class being disrupted. Surprisingly, though, she didn't break out into a connipptive fit as she normally would with the Marauders in similar situations.

I wasn't going to ask it myself, Lupin, but please do tell me how in fact a child warded off five Death Eaters.

Death Eaters? a dull Gryffindor girl asked.

Followers of the Dark, it is the name they've fancied themselves. Lupin, she said, motioning for him to begin. I'd really love to know.

Biting his lip, Remus stepped off the wall a pace or so, unsure of where to begin.

I thought...

They'd laugh if he told the truth, that he had precognostic Visions. Surely they'd think him as insane as the Divination professor.



He probably had inside information. Snape said, smirking at his own cleverness.

The class, even the Slytherins, looked shocked at the suggestion that the potential Head Boy would be involved with Dark magic.

How else could he have known about the Dark mages? one girl whispered.

Probably got cold feet on the attack, went to tell them off.

Or he didn't want his pals to get hurt. another Slytherin suggested. I'll bet he really was in on the this, probably was going to march up with those bastards and hit the school if he hadn't-

That's enough! Ms. Horder roared, slamming her hand down on the desk. Her voice cracked through the air, silencing the many rumors now circulating.

If I hear one more word about Mr. Lupin or Dark wizards-

You yourself asked how he survived. Snape dared, the only one in class history brave, or foolish enough to interrupt her fitful yells. Isn't it ironic that he's alive? Dark wizards would show no restrain to killing a random student, as their intent would be to attack. If it were one of their own, however, they would hold back. Punish for second thoughts, perhaps. I see no other possible solution.

Moony would never do that! Sirius bellowed, lunging forward.

Remus grabbed out, his arms forcing Sirius to the ground before he could hit the slimy Slytherin.

Go to hell. Sirius growled, struggling to break free from Remus' grasp. Go to hell you little-

CLASS DISMISSED! Ms. Horder yelled out, moments later threatening the whole of the congregation physical harm if they wouldn't disband.

If I even hear a single word against Mr. Lupin, I promise you, you'll regret it! she screeched as they shuffled out.

Not a chance! she said hurriedly, magicking both Snape and Sirius into the air before they could tear at each other.

As his professor lectured the pair about self control and assumptions, Remus waited quietly. He knew there was a private conversation in store for him.



It's werewolf precog. he said, empty eyes locked on the floor. I saw them, dead. I...

You're still hurt. she pointed out, watching as Remus tried to massage his aching arm. Logically, you shouldn't even be alive-

The Killing Curse has no effect on our kind. he whispered. My... When I was a child, someone from a village I was in tried to dispose of the town werewolf, me. It only knocks us out.

Stunned, Ms. Horder lost her composure. But... No one-

It is our best-kept secret.

...Does he know?

He's speculated since I arrived in my third year. Now, he knows for sure.

He's a bastard for mocking you such. the woman exclaimed. What the hell is wrong with this generation? Starting Dark rebellions for no reason... You know they're already recruiting students.

I've seen them.

He looked up for the briefest of moments, and she captured his gaze. Unable to look away, Remus only shuddered.

So, Snape's involved? Clever bastard, then...

We've fallen into a dark time. Remus said to himself, shaking from the effort of even being awake. I don't think... We'll last, much longer...

Ms. Horder reached across her desk right before his head collided.

she said softly, moving to help the unconscious boy. What the hell am I supposed to do when the enemy is my student body?



C'mon Moony, let's just go while we have the chance. Sirius whined.

Frustrated with the incessant begging, Remus slammed his book shut.

I'm a week behind everyone from having to stay in the hospital wing, and this year's work load is unbelievable.

No kidding. Peter grumbled from behind.

I have a lot to do right now, so I can't play Quidditch tonight.

But Moony, this is the only night in weeks that there hasn't been someone out on watch-

For good reason. James said quietly, finally seeing the logic. We all could have died out there. Maybe, for once, Quidditch should wait.

Mouth wavering, Sirius stared. The thought was too sacrilegious for him to fully comprehend.

Pete, go take him to the kitchens or something. James suggested with a roll of his eyes, shoving the pair towards the portrait.

...Boy has his priorities all messed around. he said to himself.

Can't blame him for trying to distract himself.

Happiness is one thing Moony, reality is another.

In unison, the pair sighed, and stared off into oblivion.

What are we supposed to do about this war? James finally asked, taking a seat across from Remus.

There isn't anything we can do, besides help the underclassmen.

There has to be something.

Like what, run off an join the Aurors? Remus snapped, knowing for certain his friend wanted to do just as much. You'll do no good fighting out there right now, so just wait.

James nodded, understanding, yet wishing logic to be otherwise. I just, I don't know, I want to get involved. Help all the people... The attacks are getting worse every day. Just this morning, another Ministry-

he interrupted sharply, looking up from his homework. I know you want to run off and offer yourself to the Light side, but now isn't the time. We're still children, we have no place fighting a war we don't understand.

You understand it. James said, lowering his clouded eyes, removing his glasses to think. You're already fighting in a war Moony, and you wont let us in.

Mine isn't a battle for you to fight. he replied shortly, his fists involuntarily clenching tight. My war has nothing to do with-

It has everything to do with us, Moony. James said, his voice soft and commanding at once. Any battle you fight, we'll fight. Every time you take up arms against an enemy, he becomes our enemy. We are always going to be involved in your war, whether or not you let us.

Silent, Remus stared at the blotch of writing that was supposed to be his History of Magic homework. Instead of writing an essay on the Mordock Rebellion Reconstruction, his hands had taken over. There, in his own handwriting, was a collection of his unconscious thoughts.

War, essentially, only brings complication. There is no reason for mankind to blindly destroy itself for a greater cause', as there is no excuse for senseless murder. Justifying hatred into something noble will only lead to the destruction of our own self.

If we don't fight, we'll never be able to protect ourselves. James said, diverting his eyes from the paper.

Protect ourselves from what?

The Dark-

No, you're wrong. Remus said sadly. We fight because it's in our nature... Mankind can't live without the desire to destroy itself.



I'm the dangerous beast, and even I can see that much. he mumbled, his voice dying off.

Either way, James went on, looking far too tired. Were going to have to fight this war Moony, that's... That's why I want you to promise me something.



Biting his lip and forcing himself to look up, James frowned. Don't ever let anything come between us, the Marauders. I'm afraid something is going to happen that'll break us apart, and-

I haven't Seen anything. Remus lied quietly.

Just... Just promise me you wont let anything happen.

Remus nodded, not even understanding the request enough to truly agree.

Why do you turn to me?' he asked, his lips not forming the words. I may very well be the one that will ruin us. Trust is far too dangerous, Prongs. Don't hand it out to people like me.'



Remus sighed, forcing his gaze away from the shower of owls that drowned the Great Hall each morning like this. All around, there was the familiar sound of stifled sobs, girlish cries and stunned gasps.

They should just expect it by now. Remus muttered to himself, watching another black-sealed Ministry letter announce the death of a Gryffindor boy's family.

Another orphan for the mass, he mused.

I thought he didn't have any parents? someone whispered, thinking they were out of earshot.

It took him a few moments to recognize the aged owl before him.

Hello, old beast. he said quietly, taking the letter with an exchange of biscuit.

Aren't you going to read it? It's not a Black Write, you know. James said, noticing the lack of official seal.

Hm, I suppose.


Remus,

We're going to need you here over break, there's a huge movement going on outside those castle walls that confine you. With the war sweeping in, all the werewolves of Britain are afraid of being tracked by the Dark. We're overloaded and under-managed here, my friend.

Cheers, and keep that pack of yours close.

Caleb

We're your Sirius asked quizzically, not sure if he liked the sound of it or not.

Prat, don't read his mail. James scolded, though he too peered over Remus' shoulder. One of the many letters that fell out from the folds of the other had very feminine writing on the front, attracting his attention.

Not a chance. Remus said, smiling coyly as he tucked that particular note into his breast pocket. And don't bother going through my trunk tonight, I'm not so foolish as to leave it there.

Sirius whispered.

Halfway through an increasingly more legible letter from the twins, Dumbledore stood up in front of the students and calmly declared that everyone should report for their dormitories immediately.

Calmly, come on now! Professor McGonnagal yelled, unable to stop the younger students from running around in panic of the attack threat.

Rubbing his throbbing temples, Remus stood up, and climbed atop his chair. In one short expenditure of his lungs, the shrill whistle silenced the entire congregation.

Care to try it again, with a little less screaming? he suggested, shutting his eyes for a moment.

Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs to the West entrance, Ravenclaws and Slytherins to the South. Daniel Howarth, Miranda Cemshaw, Anna D'Lamore and Travis Loom, lead your Houses out. Anyone else, line up near me. he said steadily.

One by one, the students began to file along to the four appointed prefects, a small mass of bewildered and confused first years finding their way to the comforting presence of Remus.

He'd have made a fine Head Boy. Ms. Horder said to herself, shaking her head in amusement.





A/n- Yes, this is my random installment. Hope you've enjoyed! And a post script, everyone, good news. School and organized sports are nearly over, so hopefully I'll be back to weekly updates soon enough.

Iggie


(Inevitably, someone is going to ask what Knahi-oph ((beginning)) means. Say it out loud. Then think of of why Remus was annoyed, and link it together.)