Seeing Grey - Chapter LXXV - Imminent





All students are to report to their dormitories immediately. No exceptions. Repeat, all students please report to their dormitories immediately. Thank you.

Remus groaned, rolling over on his side with a grimace. The full moon had been unusually violent on him. Or, he reasoned, James, Sirius, and Peter gone had been difficult. They hadn't shown up the night before, and he was left to furiously scratch and bite at himself.

he said raggedly, his voice mangled beyond recognition. After a long minute of staring, trying to focus his aching eyes on anything at all, he pushed himself upright.

Where are you guys? he asked in pain, edging away from a pool of his own blood that dripped across the floor, flowing from more open wounds than he could feel.

Eyes shut tight, he spit out a mouthful of blood, disgusted with himself.

Can't... Leave. Remus murmured, wanting to comply with the announcement he had heard from the castle.

Giving up, he allowed his body to collapse to the floor again, too exhausted to strain any longer. The blackness engulfed his mind once more, and he slipped away.



Mr. Lupin, Mr. Lupin!

Opening one eye, Remus groaned at the painful blast of sunlight.

Mr. Lupin, come now, we have to get you back to the school. Madam Pomfrey said in a hush, hurriedly pulling him to his uncooperative feet.

Wobbling about as if on a boat swaying on the violent sea, Remus tried to support himself. After several failed attempts, he slumped back down to the ground, out of the nurse's hands.

Mr. Lupin, please, the school is-

Locked down, I know. he groaned, grimacing at the sudden ringing in his ears. His senseless hands pounded at the ground of their own will in primitive reaction.

Calmly, the experienced nurse took his hands into her own, trying to soothe the rest of his human mind into a state of function.

If you can't walk Remus, I'm going to have to conjure a stretcher for you. she said softly, though a twinge of urgency present. I have to get you up to the school.

Nodding, he backed his quivering arms to the splintered walls of the Shrieking Shack, and forced himself upright inch at a time.

You really do beat yourself up sometimes. she said with a disdainful tisk, allowing him to lean on her without regard for the blood.

Can't be helped. he murmured, fighting a losing battle to keep his mind clear.



Where was he this morning?

This is the second time, you know.

Maybe the Professors were wrong about him.

Must be involved, I mean, how couldn't he be?

Moony, we tried-

Remus shot his friend a silencing look, not wanting Sirius to speak of his ailment in public. The Great Hall was far too quiet for conversation of it.

It's alright, I'm fine now. Just had to go down to the Hospital Wing, that's all. he said, intentionally raising his voice so the surrounding tables would catch his excuse.

You look terrible. Lily said, quickly sitting down across him. James looked rather hurt that his wistful smile had been ignored.

Last night was not very pleasant. he agreed, catching sight of his torn face in the gold plate's reflection. Madam Pomfrey had carelessly overlooked the cuts and scratches in her hurry to get him down to lunch. Obviously, she had been warned by Horder that the students suspected him of foul play.

What were you up to out there?

Allen Hawthorne, the Ravenclaw who had been named Head Boy in his place, had his arms crossed. As Remus was now growing accustomed too, he displayed an openly suspicious look.

Out where? he asked dryly, waiting for the food to appear. For whatever reason, Dumbledore hadn't called for the meal to begin yet.

He's looking at you.' his conscience told him. Watching you.'

I've been sick for a long time Allen, you know that as well as my dorm mates. I'm often out of classes we share. he reasoned, looking up briefly.

Apparently, this went well as an explanation. For all warrant it should be, Remus certainly looked under the weather.

You'd be wise to not go missing early in the morning when there's been an attack warning for the nearest town over. Allen said thoughtfully, still frowning. I trust you enough, more than most people. I don't think you're foolish enough to be involved, but... You've been gone twice during Dark warnings. People suspect, and rumors spread.

And they're only just that, Allen, rumors. Remus said, nodding his head in a self-affirming manner. You would be wise to disregard them.

Immediately he left, and the lunch appeared before them.

Passed round one. he mumbled to himself, casting a sideways glance to the smiling Headmaster.

You can't do this forever, Moony. James whispered, stirring his soup dismally.

I know, but I have to try. he sighed. I've been living on borrowed time for too long, but I have to keep trying...

I don't have a choice anymore.'



God damn bastards. Remus grumbled to himself. Absently he rubbed his left shoulder, trying to coax the sting from the impact to disappear.

Watch yourself back there, Remus! Kaylie called as she flew by. She had her bat poised high above her head, ready to strike back the Bludgers the Hufflepuffs had insisted upon pelting at the lone Keeper. For a practice match, the teams were playing well beyond their normal intensity.

They're rightly trying to kill you! James said in disbelief, never having seen such foul play from the normally docile team.

Their Keeper, Ivorson, lost his father in a Ministry raid! Remus called as he flew above. I think... This is a match of revenge.

James hissed, flying in a sharp circle around the golden posts, eyes ever-watching.

You know damn well half this school thinks I'm with the Dark.

Cursing under his breath, James leveled himself with his Captain.

he began, frowning solemnly. this just isn't right.

Twelve yards above the first. Remus interrupted, flinching as Sirius pelted a Bludger into one of the yellow blurs.



The Snitch, in fifty six seconds it'll be twelve yards above the first goal post here. he repeated with a shake of his head. I never use my Precog for cheating like this, but they ended fair play a while ago.

James nodded, and flew out to distract an incoming Chaser for the time being.

Why can't the world just leave me alone for once? he groaned as the Chaser slipped through, fully intending to take Remus down at all costs.



Mr. Lupin, may I see you after class for a moment? McGonnagal asked as the bell sounded.

Groaning not from the exhausting class work the rest of the students had complained about, Remus nodded his head. More than one Slytherin waved with thankful grins as they departed, leaving him behind.

Yes, professor? Remus asked wearily, not letting himself meet her mixed gaze. It was one of pity, sympathy, though all he saw was accusation.

Some of the students...

Suspect me of being involved in the Dark movement, I know. he said bitterly. It's been going on since the end of last year.

With your absences, it does present a very questionable image, Remus. she said, using a gentle tone of voice he had not often heard from her. I'm concerned-

I'm fine. he interrupted, forcing himself to look her in the eye and smile to some extent. All my work is on time, and most of the Gryffindors are with me, my friends anyway.

I'm concerned that with this stress, the young professor went on, shaking her head sadly. with all of the trouble you already face, I fear that you may not be as cautious-

No one is going to find out about my curse. he assured, wishing he believed what he said, wishing it weren't already a lie.

Mr. Lupin, will you please let me finish? she snapped, though not in a way to tell him off. With a nod, she continued. I'm more concerned for your personal well-being at the moment. The Lord knows you have more burdens to handle than any man should, let alone a child... I would suggest that you change some of your habits soon, to possibly lift any alarm.

Hopefully, he produced a true grin, his eyes losing their present emptiness.

Casting him a thin smile, Professor McGonnagal went on. If you would perhaps take a few days off every now and then, outside of the lunar cycle, it will lessen the chance of someone recognizing a pattern.

Useless. Snape could tell anyone he pleased.' he thought to himself, but decided to try it regardless of the Slytherin he so despised.

As I heard last year, you have somewhat of a family...

She trailed off as his cheeks went red, recognizing the embarrassment enough to be brief.

Perhaps you could pay them a visit.

Thank you, but my schoolwork-

You are the head of your class, Mr. Lupin. she said quickly. I dare say it wouldn't be difficult to arrange something that would fit into this schedule.

Beaming, Remus nodded, thanking her repeatedly as he fumbled out of the room.

It was a hopeless cause, he reasoned. No one would believe the vacation, and more rumors would surface if there happened to be another attack in his absence.

I just have to get away from this place. he muttered to himself as he passed a group of wandering second-years in the hall. Get away from these people...



Are you nearly ready?

Why exactly were you assigned to take me?

I have to stop by the Ministry this week to file some of my work. Ms. Horder said, trying to give him the hint that they needed to be off soon.

On what?

Nosy little prat. she laughed, shaking her head. I work weekends, filing work on the Dark movement increasing. I still work in the Defense Department, regardless of my status as your professor. My old sensei, Ryosuke, he is my partner.

So that's why you had him come in. Remus mused, shoving as few days worth of his older Muggle clothes into the last space of his satchel. Slamming his trunk lid shut, he took one final sweep of the dorm, and joined his instructor in the Common Room.

No, I had him come in because I'm concerned with how many in your class are involved.

I only know of a few. Remus said to himself, climbing through the portal.

There's more than a few. Ms. Horder snapped, resentfully, disgustedly. Far more... You would be surprised, if I could tell you. Since they're still minors, they have a certain degree of protection. They can just wait until graduation, I'll wipe those filthy little grins...

Remus smiled to himself, amused at how passionate she was getting. Out of the presence of others, she was little more than an angry student herself, firmly affixed to a single belief.

Ryosuke raised me, you know. My mother died when I was still in Hogwarts, he adopted me. Always joked I was his favourite student during my martial arts classes, I never dreamed he would become my parent. she admitted.

What happened to your real father?

Her eyes flashed for a moment, a look Remus knew very well.

He killed my mother. Threatened to slit my throat if I told anyone, but I knew better. Ryosuke had him sent to Azkaban three days before my birthday.

Nodding in response, Remus led way out of the castle. He wasn't sure why his professor was telling him this, though he felt obliged to listen. She knew his unfortunate past, possibly she felt it necessary to share the same.

That's why I took up arms against the Dark, to keep people like him from hurting anyone.

People like me? he asked quietly. Creatures of the Dark, you know... My kind is known for killing and causing nothing but the pain you can't stand.

It's better to fight for the helpless than against. she replied, not finding it in herself to meet his gaze. You can't control what you are, I think it's wrong for us to try and control you.

We need control. he said distantly, thinking of all the times he had acted out of anger, felt the primal urge to taste fresh blood.

You need freedom more than anything. the professor finished, waiting on the Hogwarts steps as a carriage pulled up steadily.

We all need freedom from the Dark.





Smiling at the completely baffled look on his face, Remus wedged the door open and bowed his head to Caleb.

So, how is the mighty werewolf saint healing? he asked, tossing his satchel at the door. For a moment he paused to look at it, finally admitting that his old traveling companion could use a replacement.

Glancing at his watch, which displayed the date ticker in a corner, Caleb blinked in confusion.

You're supposed to be in school for another month and a half. he observed, tapping at his timepiece to make sure it was working properly.

I know. Remus said with an awkward shrug. Because of less than pleasant circumstances, the teachers granted me a leave.

You're face is... Mangled. I take it the Cerbick's Moon didn't agree with you?

Among other things. Remus hummed, calling for the twins.

Oh, they're across the street again.

Finally found friends, I see. Looking through the window, he watched the two not-so-little boys race after another child their own age.

Our last salvage trip pulled a mother with one left... I didn't get there quick enough to save her daughter. Caleb said in a dark manner, regretting his injuries. I don't move as quickly as I used to, not with this damn leg.

He indicated his past injury which had burdened him with a cane.

So anyway kid, how long are you staying?

Three days... he muttered, looking around the room with a wistful sort of smile. It's good to be back here. I only start to pine for it it once I've been gone, though. Have I missed a whole lot? Remus finally asked, turning back to face his friend.

Caleb, I can't find... My... Oh, hello Remus.

Blushing red, Remus immediately turned away from Melhane. Seeing his friend's girlfriend clad only in a towel was not one of the first things he had wished to see upon arrival.

Uhm, yes, you have missed a little... Caleb started, his voice trailing off unsteadily.

Oh, don't be a prat. Just tell him! Melhane chuckled, hurrying back to the tiny bathroom to find a robe.

Uh... We're engaged?

Snorting to himself, Remus shook his head.

Not this again. he laughed. Caleb, don't bother, I'll just... Go. came his quick interruption. Gathering up the battered satchel once more, he waved blindly as he shut the door.

Sure has grown. he said to himself, smiling in admiration as he walked the main street. What started out as a dusty way of a few scattered homes, little more than wooden shacks, was now a gravel-paved line of nearly respectable houses. Those who had found resource and ample help had even fashioned themselves brick chimneys.

Hello, Rhint? he called, letting himself into the re-roofed home across the pathway. Are you here?

Quietly, as to not disturb her if she was sleeping, Remus tossed his belongings on the single chair of the first room, tiptoeing his way around.

Who is-

he said tightly, stopping dead in his tracks. She was pressed against his backside, a wand forced against his throat.

Immediately she dropped arm, and turned him around by the shoulder.

she asked, squinting horribly, even though he was only a foot or so in front of her. A delighted smile slowly crossed her features, and she bowed her head in apology.

I'm sorry. she blurted out. Caleb took me along on a Ministry raid, my eyes have not recovered yet.

You're hurt? His voice was rather urgent, and he momentarily brought his hand to her pale face.

I'm alright. Instinctively, quickly, she backed away from his touch. She nodded her head in apology for the reaction a second later. A wall was blown away, I was too close. I can't see very well.

Have you-

Theodore said that I would be fine in a week. There isn't any medication here for it, but I'll manage.

Sensing his frown more than seeing, she tried to settle it with a falsely produced smile of her own. So why are you here? It's still quite some time before the winter holidays.

My professors gave me a short vacation, a recovery of sorts.

Furrowing her eyes to little more than grey slits, she tried to look at his face clearly.



Hesitantly, she put a finger to his cheek, and brushed over the largest gash.

It's ok. he said as she drew her hand back, looking as worried as he had.

We both have some healing to do, then.

Come on, I didn't escape my prison just to recover from a few menial cuts. There's much more to be done.

Such as?

Remus paused for a moment, wondering if Diagon Alley would be safe. His thoughts were interrupted by a harsh rap at the door, followed by a quick shout.

Lupin, are you in here?

Shaking his head, Remus put his hands up, hoping Rhint would silence Garade before he was caught.

He's right- she called back, stopping as he peered in.

Caleb wants you.

I was just over there. he groaned, thoroughly discouraged.

Yes, and we just got a raid call. You're supposed to come as well, McCalister.

Can't you just leave us alone? he said without thinking, regretting his choice of words instantly. Garade broke into a massive grin, suggesting more than he could voice.

Well, if you need your privacy, I suppose we can lend the schoolboy a free-

Making improper use of a curse he had picked up from Ms. Horder, Remus rid himself of the pest.

I hate that boy. Rhint gritted, frowning.

He's absolutely charming compared to some of my classmates. Remus said to himself.



There's a Slytherin... Someone from a different House, you know Houses, right?

Caleb told me, once. Go on. She motioned for him to continue.

To say that we don't get along would be a severe understatement. Remus explained. He knows of what I am, and uses that knowledge to his advantage at every opportunity. That's part of the reason I'm here. he said, offering a simple shrug.

Well, whatever brought you back home, I'm glad. she said with a crooked smile.

So, you've accepted this as home, then?

Nodding to herself, Rhint opened her hands in gesture. I haven't anywhere else to go. You, this little house, and this dirty street are all I have anymore.

It shouldn't be this way. he mused sadly, wishing beyond all hope that things were different for his companions of the curse. So many were among the most undeserving. None, he thought to himself, deserved to walk the path of hell, trapped between two worlds of imminent cruelty.

From the window, through its cloudy pane, Remus watched the twins scurry by in their game of chase.

We're always the ones being chased. he said out loud. For once, I wish they would accept us and end the hunt.

It's against the nature of our lives. Rhint whispered, almost fearful of her past memories. I thought I was the only one confined to the streets and the pains of an uncaring society... We're all shunned at some point.

I'll end that. Remus said slowly, an old determination rising in his voice. I swear, by the life of me, I'll out an end to that. I don't know how, but... Dammit, we should have so much more than this.

Should we? she asked, looking up at him, eyes empty. We're the beasts of this world, even God shuns us as demons. We're unwelcome in church, at schools, even on the streets among thieves we're unwanted. I think, beyond these walls, there is nowhere for us to turn.

You're wrong. Remus declared softly. There are a precious few who may have it in them to accept us.

Shaking her head, Rhint took his hand between her own. They can't accept what they don't understand. We're always going to be looked down upon, one way or the other. I don't see how it's possible for it to be any different.

I'll make it different.









A/n- Well, I've been a busy little non-attentive student... These past two chapters were the byproduct of failed attempts at studying. I give up o.O

A disgruntled, tired, dazed and brain-fried Iggie