A/n- Personally, I hate summer. It's horribly dull... Since I have nothing better to do, I whipped this up for you today. Enjoy!





Seeing Grey - Part LXXVIII - Legion




You know we're not supposed to be outside after lock-in. Peter said, looking up as Remus walked by.

Something important to look for. he muttered in response, as if that was a valid excuse.

He knew, or rather his conscience preached, that being out after the designated lock-in hour was foolish, not to mention dangerous. The attacks were becoming more and more frequent, and were slowly marching their way towards the castle area. Nearly every wizard town outside of Hogsmeade had been hit, and the professors were close to obsessive about their lectures regarding being out of dorms at night.

But, Remus argued back to his worried self, this was more important. This was the chance to make a difference.

Throwing away any caution, Remus had gathered his satchel, a Herbology book stuffed with papers, his wand and the now too-small cloak his friends had bought him several years ago. He hurried past the Marauders, the only ones awake at such an hour, and slipped through the portrait hole and into the quiet halls.

McGonnagal, considering him more of a Prefect than Remus would allow himself to be, had entrusted him with the list of where all patrolling staff would be at night if an emergency should arise. Without any guilt at the moment, he used the schedule along with the Marauder's Map to edge his way outside, away from any prying eyes.

he whispered, once a safe distance from the glowing castle windows. Using the faint light to guide himself, he edged towards the Forbidden Forest, the grounds he knew all too well.

Should be... By the Elderwood trees. he read off, skimming a yellowed page in the old Herbology book he shouldn't have. Another guiltless act, using his Restricted Section pass to gain access to books to fuel his ploys. How foolish the professors could be, as surely they wouldn't allow even half of his check-outs.

You should not be out here at night, friend of wolf. a passing half-dog howled, racing through the thick wood before Remus could bark a question. It is dangerous here!

It's dangerous everywhere. Remus said to himself, shrugging off the ordeal. The creature had sensed his inner-struggle with the curse, under light of the near-full moon, and wished him to be gone.

Fixed into a set mind frame, Remus went back to work, searching for the smallest of roots in the dark.



Digging into the damp earth, Remus pulled up a handful of rock and plant, though he cursed with the results.

Dammit, this stuff has got to be out here somewhere. he grumbled, wiping his muddy face. For several hours he had been out in the forest, forcing his blood-caked hands into the ground again and again.

This has to be the right tree. he snapped, grabbing his wand from it's resting place on a branch above him. Flipping through the book, he read the page for what seemed to be the hundredth time, and pursed his pale lips. It should be here, else...

Trailing off, he closed his mouth and sat perfectly still. The corners of his ears twitched once more, as they always did when tracking a faint sound.

It's a mile or so north of here, a few minutes more.

You said that half an hour ago.

Remus thought his heart had stopped, or was pounding so madly that he could no longer feel it. A cold rush of realization washed over him, sending a wave of ice throughout his entire body. Shivering, he closed the light on his wand, and buried his belongings under a pile of upturned soil.

They're attacking Hogwarts.' his mind said to him, over and over, never-ceasing as he ran with a stealthy silence. With a grace that seemed awkward and foreign for a human being, he crept through, darting in-between trees hypnotically, never once snapping a twig beneath his feet. I've got to warn the school.'



Don't move.

Obeying the harsh command, Remus stopped, and swallowed. His throat felt dry, unwilling to comply.

What are you doing out here?

Surely... Surely his sense was betraying him, it had to. Could it really...

What are you doing here? Remus asked in disbelief. Jesus, I never would have thought... I mean, I knew your brother, but-

You have to go.

Behind the mask, underneath the black hood, Remus knew who he was speaking to. It was the same scared voice he used to know, the same tone of wavering ideal.

Why are you doing this? he asked quietly, letting his hands fall to his sides.

The black figure stood still, his wand still outstretched. Remus knew there would be no spell cast against him so he put his own weapon away.

You know this is wrong, I'm sure of it-

You don't know me anymore, Remus. he interrupted, voice coarse and devoid of any true emotion. You just wouldn't understand.

You're right, I probably wouldn't. I sure as hell don't know why you gave up hope, and let yourself fall to this.

Shut up! he yelled, waving his wand sharply, a stream of faint green light issuing from the tip. Just shut up! You don't get it, alright?

Remus nodded, his face set coldly. I'll never understand why anyone, especially someone like you, would just give in altogether. Where you so afraid of dying that you let yourself fall to this? Surely you don't agree with-

Just go, before I kill you myself. They're going to attack the west entrance, so if you want to be spared, avoid it. came the stone reply.

Behind the mask, Remus knew he was crying. It was a fact he knew as well as any.

Are you going to keep running away from reality? he asked, taking a cautious step forward. Can you possibly hide it any longer? Or are you going to continue this lie?

Shut up. the figure whispered, no longer the intimidating black Dark mage. Now he was only a lost soul, one Remus knew to lead.

There's still time to fix it, you can still come back.

They'll kill me, either side would readily take my life... Wouldn't think twice of it.

I wouldn't. Remus said firmly, moving closer with each word. Soon enough, he was only inches in front, his hands resting on the shaking shoulders of his supposed enemy. We wouldn't, we still forgive. You know that, right? You know that there's always time to amend, and come back?

Carefully, he lifted the mask up, and nodded. The face was laden with scars, wounds engraved over time, now burning from the salt of tears.

Come on Alex, we'll go tell Dumbledore, and everything will be alright again. he suggested, waiting for his old friend to meet his gaze.

Two lifeless eyes, flooded with misery and a myriad of regret, looked up. He seemed blind, unable to see anything clearly, the clouded pools gazing off into an unseen horizon.

It's too late. he whispered, his voice cracked. Slowly, he raised his arm, pressing the wand into Remus' side. Go. They're coming.

Alex, we're going together, now. he insisted, pulling at the colourless robes. I'm not le-

Go! You have to warn the castle now, they're coming!

Clutching his forearm, Alex turned around, and disappeared in a whirlwind of darkened mist.

Shaking his head disappointedly, Remus started back for Hogwarts with a heavy heart.



Louie's Listers. Remus whispered, the stone gargoyle jumping to life. He ran up the stairs, taking them three at a time and nearly tripping several times.

Headmaster, sir, I need to speak with you! he yelled, pounding on the great oak door that led to Dumbledore's quarters.

Coming, coming... What is- M. Lupin? he asked quizzically, adjusting his glasses to see if he wasn't dreaming. Is there a probl-

There's a dozen or so Dark mages in the Forbidden Forest, sir, they're coming towards the school. he blurted out, barely containing himself. The west entrance is their target.

Without asking how he knew such information, Dumbledore nodded, and brushed by.

I'll take care of this, Mr. Lupin. he said, straightening his crooked night cap and broomstick pajamas. I'll have to ask you to remain here until I return.

Silent, Remus watched the old wizard hurry down the spiral stairs, his eyes no longer glittering cheerfully behind his glasses. There was a cold rage Remus had not often seen.

Alex... Why didn't you come with me? he asked out loud.




Sir, this is an outrage!

He was gone again! How can you just overlook how he's conveniently' absent every time there's something involving the Dark Arts?

There's no way it's a coincidence Headmaster, he was out in the Forbidden Forest at three in the morning, by himself.

Dumbledore cleared his throat, staring at the small pack of upperclassmen gathered outside the entrance. There is to be no further discussion on this matter. Mr. Lupin has my full and unfaltering trust, I expect you to hold the same.

But sir-

Report back to your assigned locations, and take a head count again, if you will. he said firmly, indicating the conversation was over. Fuming, the pack of Prefects marched off, grumbling to themselves about traitors.

Mr. Lupin, you do realise that this puts you in a rather tight situation. Dumbledore said sadly, turning to face him. His eyes still hadn't regained their sparkle, making him look far older than he was.

Remus said, swallowing tightly. I don't care though, sir, I did what I had to do.

But why exactly were you out there tonight? You could have been killed.

There was obvious resent in his tired voice, a pain Remus didn't fully understand.

I needed to find Hollowvine root. he explained, wishing he still had the Herebology book or journal to defend himself. You see, sir, I've been trying to find a cure, and I needed Hollowvine... I don't know if you'll believe me or not, sir, but I've had several leads on breaking the curse. Collecting the Hollowvine could only be done at night, when there was a lot of moonlight. Since I can't go out on full moons, I went tonight, so I could crush the root and use it later... Remus trailed off, unable to explain himself accurately. Dumbledore would surely think him a fool and a liar, at any rate.

Surprisingly, he nodded. Though I can't agree with your timing, your objective was very noble. he said, trying to offer a smile that wouldn't seem empty. Though, unfortunately, that will not serve well as an excuse to the public.

Either I tell them I'm a werewolf, or they assume I'm a Dark wizard. Remus sighed, hanging his head. I don't really have a choice.

I'm afraid not. Dumbledore said gently, a silence following afterwards. eventually, he sat down at his desk, and leaned back in the great red chair.

Am I correct in assuming that you met with one of the potential attackers?

Cringing, Remus nodded. I don't think he was there by choice, Headmaster... I'm almost certain he was forced into joining with the Dark army.

Now why would you say that?

I know him. Or at least, I used to know him.



Albus, are you in there?

There was an impatient knock on the office door, followed by another shout from some agitated man.

Dumbledore said with an apologetic sigh. You'll have to slip your way out, I rather suspect you don't want to be put under file with them for making the initial discovery.

Shaking his head, Remus eased out of the chair, his body feeling like a block of lead. The incessant banging on the door mingled in with the throbbing in his head, the pulse that raced through his entire body, setting it alight with numbness.

Mr. Lupin, are you feeling alright? Dumbledore asked, standing up in his chair. Remus looked quite ready to keel over, his knees shaking, his face white and expressionless.

I'm fine.



Mr. Lupin, are you in here?

Looking up, Remus saw Madame Pomfrey standing in the portrait hole, peering around the room. Mr. Lupin?

Avoiding the pack of Gryffindors that would not leave him alone, he pushed his way through the mass and answered the call.

Oh, well, here's you medicine. I'm sorry that it took so long, dear. I should have sent you back to your dorm if I had known it would take all night to brew. she said, loud enough for everyone around the hear. I do hope you're feeling better. Find Professor McGonnagal to bring you down to my wing if you need anything, or if your symptoms worsen.

The nurse winked once, and quickly left the busy Common Room.

Oh... You really were sick. a third year girl exclaimed, her face going red with embarrassment.

I told you I wasn't lying. Remus muttered, trying to keep up the act. Dumbledore had obviously informed the nurse of what had happened, and sent her down to give him a plausible excuse for being out at night.

Moony, you wouldn't go to the Infirmary if you were near dead. Sirius said with a short quirk. So what were you up to?

He was out in the Forest last night. Peter said, keeping his voice down so no one else would catch their conversation. Went out with a book and-

Look, don't worry about me. Remus interrupted, walking by. Nothing happened. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need some sleep.


Remus sat down on the bed, welcoming it's comfortable give. Idly he sniffed the vile Madame Pomfrey had given him. Little tufts of smoke eddied upwards, making him tired on the spot.

Can't hurt. he mumbled. Although he had long since sworn against Sleeping Droughts, he felt too weak to resist temptation just this once.

The vile crashed on the floor, his hand dangling over the side of the bed as he collapsed awkwardly. A thin smile across his lips, and Remus Lupin entered another world, one in which he could relax at last.



Look mum, I don't even need my hands! Remus laughed, letting go of the bicycle handles. His mother, her pale and gentle face covered by the shadow of a large straw hat, clapped her hands at the display.

Just don't fall now, Remus. she warned, smiling at her son lovingly.

The little boy returned the grin, wobbling slightly as he tried to wave. A second later, he toppled to the ground, elbows scrapped on the pavement.

Remus, I told you to be careful. the mother sighed, shaking her head as she stood up. Collecting the crying boy in her arms, she kissed his forehead, trying to soothe him.

Come on Remus, don't cry. the older boy offered, stopping his own bike alongside of Remus. get back on and try it again, else you'll never get it perfect.

Nodding, the seven year old climbed back on his shiny red bicycle, and gritted his teeth in determination.

Again he fell, though this time, he awoke to a different sight. He was no longer four feet tall, and there were no red marks on his stubby elbows. Instead, he bore the white scars he hated so much.

Daddy, you're drunk again!

You don't know a damn thing ya little fool. Now move, and shut up.

You're gonna hurt Remus! Daddy, stop it! the boy pleaded between sobs. There was a loud smack, and the door creased open. Romolus' crying grew louder.

Daddy, stop. he begged, unable to yell after the impact. Please Daddy, don't hurt him. He didn't do anything.

I said be quiet!

Another smack.

Curling up, helpless, Remus waited for his turn, knowing it was to come. It was the same every moon. Romolus would cry, Daddy would yell, and in the end it was always the same. Come morning, Remus would be covered with bruises that the wolf hadn't caused.

Shutting his eyes, Remus let the world drift away.

You killed him... You ruined my life, and now... And now you've killed him!

No, I swear I didn't. Stop this Rom, it wasn't-

You ruined everything! Wasn't it enough for you to take away my own life, spoil everything? Why did you have to kill him?

I didn't, I promise I didn't! Please, you have to understand!

You ruined everything!

Moony, Moony!

I swear I didn't...

Come on Remus, get up!

There was a sharp slap across his face, the sting lingering for only a moment.

Sirius, you dolt, you didn't need to do that! Peter scolded, frowning.

Eyes opening, Remus groaned.

How long have I been asleep?

It's noon. James informed him, looking relieved. That Sleeping Drought was two doses, you prat, and you drank it all at once.

Couldn't resist. Remus mumbled, sitting upright. His head felt heavy, clouded by old memories of betrayal.

Bad dream or something? Sirius asked, going through his own trunk in search of candy. You were talking in your sleep for quite a while, I guess. We just got out of class, but one of the first years downstairs said the dorm was haunted.

Why didn't you wake me up this morning?

We tried, Peter said, grabbing a lemon drop from Sirius. but you wouldn't.

We told McGonnagal you were ill, and she didn't pester us any over it. James assured.

Sporting a genuine smile for once, Remus laid back down. He closed his eyes to block out the painful shock of light, and listened as his friends went into detail about earlier mishaps and student reactions to the near-attack.

At least I did something right for this school, I sure as hell owe it one. he said to himself.


A/n- Slight problem with some of the addresses I have on my mailing list. If any of the below belong to you, or look close to it, contact me at Alyssa@infiniterpg.com


skraku@swirve.com

sasina_sasina@hotmail.com

skylorns_lil_4sky_orli@hotmail.com

vip0987@yahoo.com

shadowstar@cliffhanger.com



Thanks, and sorry for any problems that may have occurred to anyone.

Iggie



Fic of the Day (Returns!): Slipping Away by Moondoggy- Depressed Sirius. Remus trying to cope... Suicidal themes oh my! A great angst story that never ceases to tickle my good-taste sensors. HIGHLY reccomended peice of writing.