A/n- Can you believe it? 80 chapters... I'd better watch out or this may get longer than the Draco Sinister series itself.




Seeing Grey - Part LXXX - Scarlet River





Unbearable.

He hadn't needed the reminders, the short whispers and a broken letter from his brother. He knew well in advance.

Had he any sane thoughts left, he would complain about the inconvenience, how the full moon wished to appear right before his break. And it returned with a vengeance, it seemed.

Curled up much like an animal or injured child, Remus Lupin lay on the splintered wood of the Shrieking Shack. His arms were entangled together, and his shaking legs were puled up to his chest. Almost as if he were unfamiliar to the habit of breathing, he took in a strangled gasp of air on an irregular basis.

Obviously, something was wrong.

The moons were never this despicable, not even seasonal moons or the rare occurrences with celestial interference.

No, this was decidedly worse than before.

It would be several hours before he would transform, he realised, as another wave of pain washed through his searing body. The affects of the moon had come early, much too early, and Sirius had enough sense to rush him down before detention.

Oh, how he wished they hadn't been so keen to hassle Snape, and in front of McGonnagal.

No, he would spend this night alone, there would be no comfort for him. His head exploded again with that thought, his final thought, as a thousand rooms of grotesque instincts burst open.

The human portion of Remus Lupin was locked away, now replaced by something savage, something unholy. Inwardly he screamed, wanting to drive away the new thoughts of madness, the disgusting urges of the wolf that engulfed his mind. But there was only a hollow silence, and the ragged intake of his own lungs upon period.

For a tortured night, he almost wished his body would just give up.

No!' he shouted, again and again. Before tonight there had been a system; for years there had been! Quietly he would drift off, his sanity locked away into its own private quarters. He would endure the short suffering of the transformation, and then there would be the nothingness.

No, something was wrong tonight, terribly wrong. Even the wolf knew this. It released solemn gurgling noises, inhuman yet foreign to the ears of beasts.

His skin peeled away, each layer breaking leisurely, unlike the swiftness of before. All too slowly the fur appeared, edging up his forearm and legs, but then it stopped.

The searing pain was all too present, but the wolf faded. Remus Lupin again had to endure the overwhelming pain, though he had never been aware like this before.

Someone... Someone help. he pleaded, sobbing dryly. The air wouldn't come, and his chest heaved in drought, begging for release.

Someone, anyone. he spluttered, his head brimming with numbness, deft ringing that railed through his being.

In a pathetic attempt he struggled to the door, only to collapse in a heap, whimpering and unable to go any further.

Prongs, Padfoot, Wormtail... Someone, please.

A trail of blood leaked into his hazel eyes, though he could not feel from where it came. Blinking once, he gazed up at the blurring ceiling, and closed his eyes.

Please, someone, come down here.' he thought dizzily, his awareness fading away again as he felt his tail coming forth. Anyone.'



Moony! Moony!

Sirius, stop yelling! Peter whined, furiously trying to silence him. If we get caught-

Is that all you care about? Sirius snapped, turning on the smaller boy. I for one am more concerned about Remus, and his absence!

Padfoot, calm down a little. James muttered. We just got out of a nine-hour detention with Filch, I'm none too keen about getting caught either. Let's just find Remus quickly, and find out why he wasn't in the Shack this... Morning...

He trailed off, brown eyes going wide behind the fogged spectacles.

he shouted, his voice cracking as he staggered backwards.

Sirius, who had been glaring at Peter (and the same went for the glowing coward) looked dumbly at his friend.



RUN! Transform and RUN! he bellowed, and in one graceful sweep, he transfigured himself into the stag mid-step. No sooner had he said this, Peter had followed suit without question, scurrying off to catch the great beast in flight.

But what's- Sirius gapped, blinking in confusion.

A second too long he waited, and he now found himself knocked to the ground, the very breath forced out of him.

One. Then another.

He opened his eyes, and found the source of the two drips of liquid he had felt on his face. A frantic wolf bore down on him, its fangs dripping with blood.

H-Hello Moony. he whispered, afraid to move an inch. He slowly took in a breath, quite a challenge with the wolf's weight bearing down on him, its paws...

No, they were hands, almost. And there was a peculiar flatness to the face, the snout seemed different. And the eyes had retained some of their human features.

Moony, ol' mate, you in there? he asked.

The wolf growled, a throaty noise that seemed to be mingled with a fractured word. The blend made it impossible for Sirius to interpret it as either language he knew.

C'mon Moony...

Slowly, to show his defense, he put both his arms up (though one was holding his wand, tucked into his sleeve). He rubbed his head where it had impacted with the ground, and felt a trickle of something sticky.

You should rightly be changed back by now, shouldn't you? he asked, inching backwards. The wolf, who seemed to be fighting some internal battle, took a very ungraceful step backwards, his mixture of paws and legs
tangled together. Again he released a painful noise, blood gurgling in his throat and dripping out.

"Dammit, you're hurt!" Sirius realised, taking an instinctive move forward. The wolf
seemed to regain control, and growled promptly.

"I'm only trying to help, Remus. Let me take you over to Hagrid, maybe? I don't think Madame Pomfrey can do you much good while you're like this." he barked out, wishing he could do more than just plead with an injured friend.
Slowly, all too slowly, the wolf lowered it's head, sinking it down to rest on it's partially human paws.

"I have to call the other's back." he informed. Wearily, Sirius thought, the wolf produced the closest thing to a nod he had ever seen from an animal.

"It'll be alright. Just wait, you'll see. Nothing's wrong."



"HAGRID!"

"Blimey, what's all tha' commotion about ou' there?"

"HAGRID! Open up Hagrid, please! This is an emergency!" Sirius bellowed, ramming his shoulder into the door. He didn't have a free hand, as it took all his coordination just to hold the heavy dog.

"Fang, ge' down Fang!" he heard the half-giant snap, while there was a distinctive growling from inside the cabin.

"Now, wha's all this ruckus- Sirius Black, what have you been doin' in the Forbidden Forest?" he roared upon seeing the beast. "Ye gonna get yerself killed if ye go 'round pluckin..."

"Hagrid... This isn't one of the wolves." Sirius said quietly, pushing his way into the cabin. Fang growled even louder, and the great boar hound attempted to bite at Remus. Hagrid grabbed him by his collar, and hoisted him outside the door.

"Remus wasn't in the Shrieking Shack, you see, so we went looking for him. And James found him out in the wood, he hasn't turned back yet and the sun's been up for hours!" he said very quickly.

Blinking, Hagrid took a seat.

"Well, I knew tha' Remus was a werewolf, but I never... I never seen this before, Sirius. Unnatural, you know, with the moon bein' down an' all."

"Can you do something?" Sirius asked, setting his friend down on the cleared table. In proper light, he could see that it was worse than he had thought. Bits of human flesh had emerged, patches of skin scattered about his body. His paws were definitely trying to change back to hands, as the fur had retreated and the fangs had started to come in. And... His eyes, they looked far too strange on a dog like that.

"Well, Sirius, dunno what to tell ya... I think it'd be best if ye take him along up ta Poppy, seein' as she's the-"

"I can't just take a half-wolf up to the nurse! Someone will see!" he pointed out, looking around. James and Peter hadn't answered his call.

"Oh, I dunno 'bout that! Most o' the students will be gettin' their things together, ta leave, ya know."

"Padfoot, are you in there?"

"Sick, Fang, geroff!"

Relieved, Sirius immediately opened the cabin door, and hustled his friends inside.

"Something's wrong with Remus." he said, motioning to the animal sprawled on Hagrid's dinner table.

"We know, we went and told Lily-"

"You did what?"

"She's smarter than we are, alright? She went down to the dungeons, II think she needed to have something brewed before she came up here or something-" James continued.

"Going to tell the whole bloody school?"

"She might know a way to fix it! She didn't seemed surprised when I told her Moony hadn't changed back!" James said loudly over the constant interruptions.

Sirius, falling silent for a moment, looked over at Hagrid.

"Isn't there anything we can do to help him?" The wolf that was once Remus Lupin let out a small whimper, and tried to curl itself up even more, its body convulsing.

"'Fraid not, Sirius."



"Where... What's going on?"

"Return home, and you shall face your reward."

"I don't have a home!" Remus yelled out, wishing he could see in all the darkness, or find where the odd voice was calling from.

"Your master awaits your return, come now and find the peace you wish for."

"What..." He trailed off, feeling himself collapse. his head hurt, throbbing, pounding out the sound. Only the chanted phrase broke through.

"Return, return home, your master awaits your return."



"Remus! Wake UP!"

Dismally, the three Marauders gave up on yelling, as all it had accomplished was giving them all their own headaches to worry about. Hagrid had left several minutes ago, to see if Dumbledore knew of any similar situation happening before.

"Yes, because Hogwarts has so many werewolves running about." Peter had mumbled, feeling it a forlorn attempt.

"What the hell is HE doing here?" James barked, almost wanting to knock the boy out before he explained.

"Your little girlfriend sent me down here, saying I would be able to fix something." SNape said calmly, though looking very displeased at the outburst. Managing to catch a glimpse of the table, he perked up.

"Seems your beast hasn't recovered." he said with a smirk. James grabbed him by his robes, and held him up off the ground several feet.

"You filthy little slime-haired bastard of a-"

"James Potter, you let him down this instant!"

Paling, the Gryffindor complied as Lily Evans made her way through the heavy snow.

"He can help Remus, and I'
m sure you want that, correct?"

"Of course, but-"

"Go outside." She pointed, and after a grim shake of his head, James left the cabin.

"I'm sorry he's a twit," Lily said, turning to a very pleased Snape. "but will you help?"

"If they'll leave." he declared, motioning for Peter and Sirius.

"I'm-"

"Sirius, please." Lily asked, frowning and giving him an impossible look to resist.

Flustered, he shook his head, mouth hanging open. A second later Peter had dragged him out of the cabin, complaining about futile women and their stares.

"What's wrong with him, though? You never explained." Lily whispered. Outside, all three Marauders had their ears pressed against the door hopefully.

"He's being Called."

"Called?"

"By the rightful controller of his kind. All those with the curse are bound to be trapped like this until they answer."

"Answer... Answer what?" Lily asked, eyes concerned as she looked over Remus, or what she knew to be him in another form.

Sighing, as if Lily were asking foolish questions, Snape bent over the wolf.

"He is a Dark creature; the very blood of those who defile our world ruin through his veins. His kind is sought after by both sides. One to kill, and one to recruit."

"You mean..." Green eyes wide, Lily put a hand over her quivering lips.

"The Dark One wishes to call his creatures into service." Snape said simply. "A very opportune time, you see, with everyone going for holidays the departing werewolves would not be noticed. The Ministry would have a hard time catching any during this season... Yes, he is most definitely under the affects of the Call."

"How does-"

"Sh!"

"But how does he kn-"

"Be quiet!" they hissed, trying to shut each other up outside the door.

"Can you help him?" Lily asked, looking almost tearful.

Without answering, Snape took off his cloak, and rolled up his left sleeve.

"Say nothing." he warned to Lily, though he knew she would never tell. It was commonplace for her to see such things.

Methodically, he touched his right hand to the mark, closing his black eyes as he did so.

What's he doing to Moony? James growled, peering through the keyhole on the door. Sirius shoved him out of the way, and soon Peter as well.

Dunno, be quiet! James snapped, shoving the two away so he could get a better view.



Remus, why are you waiting?



Come on Remus, he's calling. it's time to go join him.

Why... Caleb, why are you-

Don't you see? He can end the suffering for us.

We're treated as equals.

What are you doing here Rhint? It's dangerous, these are Dark wizards!

You don't understand Remus, we're treated perfect! They don't hate us, we're better than some of them! With Master, we can be better than those who betrayed us.

Rhint, please, you don't get it. These people are only using you, and you too Caleb, they just want you to betray Dumbledore-

What's he ever done for us?

Rhint, Caleb, PLEASE! These aren't the kind of people you should side-

Time to come back now, beast. Your prat friends are straining my self-control as it is. I suggest you wake up.



Slowly, he opened his unswollen eye, and the light shot through his mind.

Don't go with them... He's not your master. he muttered weakly, the two Slytherins appearing to him as his fellows.

Well, seems the dirty blooded beast can at least see what I couldn't. Snape whispered, and for a moment, Lily heard shame in his voice.

Should we take him up to the school? He looks awful. she said quietly as the Marauders burst into the room.

He should live. Snape said with an air of displeasure, stepping out of the grimy cabin as if it was going to kill him soon enough.

Hey Snape!

With no response, Peter chased after him.

Thank you. he offered, smiling.

Snape did not turn around, nor did he show any recognition for some time.

For what? I was never here. he said distantly, and departed for the castle, still clutching his forearm.



If you need anything, we're in the dorm. James said, clicking the door shut as he left.

Nodding far too late for it to be seen, Remus slid out of the many layers of robes the nurse had piled him with, tossing each on the floor in a large heap. Standing in just his boxers and white shirt, he saw, for the first time, the full extent of his misfortunate transformation.

The tall mirror on the Gryffindor boy's bathroom wall allowed him a view of himself, a sight he nearly cringed at. Before, there were faint tracings of old scratch marks, many that would fade after time, a scarce few that remained. he was almost certain that the new gashes would forever be a reminder of the Dark Lord's influence over his kind.

Wincing, he tugged at the stubborn end of a white bandage, slowly uncoiling it from around his torso and right shoulder.

Straight across his back, five parallel lines ran down, and he could not even see their end from the view he had. Another similar gash, though not as deep, ran across his chest and right forearm.

I could have killed myself. he said quietly, using his voice for the first time. He was not afraid to be heard, since all of Gryffindor had went home for the holidays. No one seemed eager to stay after another wave of attacks had been announced in the Daily Prophet.

Blinking in confused silence, he looked down, cringing at the river of scars that covered his stomach. They were simple to see through the shirt, as it was now staining red with the barrier removed. His legs proved no different.

Lips pursed in pain, he set his crutch against the wall, limping unsteadily towards his own shower. Immediately he grabbed hold of the special golden knobs that had been installed just for him.

he muttered, trying to fight the sickening desire to keel over. I wont.

He let out a small whimper as the water turned on, pounding down onto his wounds like stones.

Don't be weak. he ordered himself, and though he wouldn't admit it, he could still feel the wolf present in his thoughts. You have to go see if the Underground is alright. Don't be weak.

He repeated this to himself over and over, staring at the red dripping down the drain. His bandages loosened, and soon joined the scarlet river, slipping to the bottom of the stall.

Just fight it. he whispered, eyes shut tight with pain. Oh, how every cleave of skin burned!

Stand back up again, and fight it. he told himself, opening his eyes to watch the water flow, watching the dirty blood flow free from himself.

I'll start again. he promised, and with shaking legs, forced himself upright.




A/n- Yeah, a weird chapter... I wrote this on my not-so-great vacation, so pardon the total oddity of it all.

:-)

Iggie



Explanations: Inevitably, someone is going to be confused. So I'll answer any questions before they're voiced.

On Remus' mis-transformation- Voldemort controls all the Dark creatures (lycanthropy is a Dark curse, remember, even if it wasn't necessarily created by Dark wizards). Therefor, he can lengthen the transformation effects to his liking. More on this will be explained later.

On Sequel'- Well, it seems some people haven't figured it out. THERE WILL BE NO SEQUEL. Is that clear enough? I'm sorry, but Seeing Grey is not going to become a series on Lupin's life.

On Me Writing Really Fast- Yes, people have wondered how. I always post within a day of completing a chapter, so naturally one would think something's wrong with me. Nah, I just write really fast. It's that simple!