A/n- Yeah, yeah. I'm late. Deal with it, I'm too happy right now :P





Seeing Grey - Part LXXXIX - Equilibrium





Even in his pathetic stammering, he held a poise, a drive for continuation that made him stand out as a powerful victor.

In an ungraceful swoop, he finally fell, though the comforting arms of his brother proved to be more forgiving than the rock faces and harsh ground he had collapsed to before.

Easy there, Remus. Caleb said softly.

The boy, the hero, the savior... So carefully he was ushered into the house, everyone looking on in respectful awe.

Can someone go find Theodore?

Right ere, good sir. he answered from a distance. The crowd parted to let him through, and he was allowed to follow into the cabin. The door was shut, and silence filled the room.

Most definitely hit, that he was. the doctor said, almost to himself. With a shake of his head, he left the potion he had prepared in advance on the coffee table and left with a mere tip of his hat.

Remus, it's a bloody miracle you're still in one piece. Romolus murmured to his fallen brother. So gently he was laid on the couch, his head propped upon a pillow. His cloak and robes were stripped away, his battered shirt torn and pulled aside. In a few moments, he was left in his bloodied pants and socks.

The few people permitted in the small home all sighed in regret. They knew it wasn't possible, but each of them regretted that he had to go alone.

Time will heal him, don't worry. Caleb assured the group, the pack knit so closely by so much suffering. In truth, they were all brought together because of the frail body before them.

I still think he's insane. Rhint whispered from the side. She was the only one not comforted by another, the only one left to kneel before Remus and worry on her own. Her hand brushed his bruised and pale forehead, and ruefully and brushed away his bangs.

At the same time, both women quietly pulled their loves away.

Give them time. Shelly said under her breath, her own hand locked to her husband's. I have a feeling we're all going to need time...

She lay her head down, resting it on his shallowly rising chest for a moment.

Why did you go? she asked, though knowing there would be no reply. You knew... You knew that everything would fall apart. This is only the beginning, yet, yet still you went.

As everyone else did, she prayed that he would open his eyes, acknowledge her if only for the briefest of instances. Her wishes went unheard, and for so long it seemed he lay there, so still and cold.



Praise God... He's finally awake.

In unison, a heavy breath was released. The weight harbored by so many was lifted, though no one was foolish enough to banish it.

Don't even try to speak. Romolus commanded lightly, placing a hand on Remus' bare shoulder. It was late in the afternoon, and the dull sun peeked in through the fabric-drapped windows in curiosity. More than one eager child shared the same viewpoint.

His eyes shut in a gesture of understanding, and Remus let himself fall back the slight distance he had risen.

So, it wasn't over just yet.

Well, you did it, kid.

Caleb was smiling, a sad and joyous look all in the same.

It's already in the news, made front page of the Prophet. Shelly added, her own eyes red and tired from the grueling wait. No one knows why the entire Werewolf Registry disappeared overnight.

Without a trace, I'll add. Caleb said. He was proud, so damn proud, and he couldn't even show it right.

Remus let out a deep, guttural sort of mumble.

Everything hurt, everything hurt so much he could barely follow what was happening.

It was tomorrow, he realised. Caleb, and Rom... And Rhint, and the runts.'

He smiled, very slightly, as he felt them curled asleep on his legs. Apparently they must have refused to sleep in their own beds. It was comforting to feel their heat, to know that they were there.

Everyone was there.

It was several minutes before Remus even figured out why his closest friends of the Underground had arranged themselves around his tired form. Flashes of thought from the previous day came to mind, and with heavy hands, he reached to his chest. There was still a singed circle of flesh from where Avada Kedarva should have taken the breath from him.

Feeling alright? Romolus finally asked, breaking the silence.

They all shared an ironic grin, knowing Remus was far from alright, though he had nodded anyway.



Try to pull something like that one more time, and I swear I'll have your head mounted as an office decoration.

HOW DID-

Bite it, Simmers.

Miss Horder snapped at the man irritably, and threw down the three boys she had held up by their robes. They fell to the ground, a mixture of grins and frowns in place, and began to scramble for the couch.

How in hell did you get inside of the city? Our security is-

Much better than the Ministry's. the professor concluded, giving a slightly admiring tip of head.

But then-

A hand on Caleb's shoulder stopped him short, and he was met with the soothing eyes of his fiancé. Caleb, they're our guests.

Precisely how I Apparated. Ms. Horder said with a smile. Why do you think I waited outside last time I was here? I didn't set foot in this shack until I was invited, otherwise the spell would never work had I needed it.

But that's-

Very clever magic. Romolus chuckled, greeting the four outsiders. I figured it'd only be a matter of time before you lot barged in.

James, Sirius and Peter all crowded the couch, though they were careful to not disturb the girl sleeping in the armchair pulled up adjacent. Rhint had never proved to be pleasant when woken, so they were cautious.

Jesus, Moony... We thought you'd been caught.

The headlines, once we saw...

You have got to stop doing this every time you leave Hogwarts.

Behind them, Ms. Horder made herself at home and Summoned a glass of iced tea from the shabby kitchen as she sat down on one of the few vacant chairs. Caleb seemed less than pleased, and had to fight the urge to chew out the intrusive woman once more.

Remus rolled over on his side, and opened his eyes. A weak smile graced his broken lips, and he muttered a very throaty 'lo.'

You know, it's very fortuitous that you're still here. Peter said, swallowing his nervousness. he had never liked being in the Underground city, and even less so under such circumstances. You left your wand there, it was in the Prophet. But it was so mangled there's no way they'll trace it back to you.

Look, kid, Ms. Horder said. Remus finally noticed her presence, and tried to pull the shabby cover over himself better. I'm not going to lie to you like everyone else seems to do. Working for the Ministry in one of the more provocative divisions gives me a heads-up on every single encounter. And you, my vulnerable little student, have created quite the stir.

Calm down. Melhane whispered, gripping Caleb's shoulder tightly. He was threatening to lunge forward again, fearing that the young woman would betray them. The fact that he saw no reason for her to keep their cover made him very skeptical.

So how are we going to keep him from detection? Romolus asked, finally standing still. He had been pacing for so long, it was beginning to annoy the others even. Without his wife to ease him (somebody had to care for the twins, she reasoned) he was slightly neurotic.

It's hard to say. the professor said simply, picking at her nails. She was treating the entire matter as if it were daily chitchat, not looking worried in the slightest at first. With a theft on that scale, I don't see how you're going to keep yourself under cover for more than a month.

Almost long enough. Remus muttered, his voice raspy. James managed to grab a cloth just in time to catch the blood that was immediately coughed up.

To graduate? Ah, I get it now. Ms. Horder said to herself. At this she frowned, and slumped in the chair. If you're trying to protect everyone, Lupin, it's going to be very hard. No matter where you decide to stay, you're going to be found. It's all a matter of what life you're willing to sacrifice.

How can you say that to him?

No one had noticed that Rhint had woken. Clearly, she had been intruding on the conversation for some time while maintaining the guise of being asleep.

If you work for the Ministry, why don't you help us?

This is beyond what I can do, alright? Otherwise it would have been done. I may be his Defense Professor, and an Auror, but that doesn't mean I agree with the Ministry. I think it's a load of dragon-shit how they treat you all.

Rhint shook her head, and fervently she went on. So you aren't going to do a damn thing to keep him safe? He just risked his life, he almost lost it, just for a few scraps of paper! We're all safe from their eyes now, but he most certainly isn't!

I knew what I was doing. Remus mumbled, despite the better efforts of his friends to keep him silent. Determined to overcome what should have killed any other man, he forced himself upright, pushing away Sirius. His bandages fell loose to his lap, and the compression that had covered most of his face now revealed how horrible he looked. Listless eyes, swollen and bloody, stared back at everyone in the room.

I don't care if I'm caught, at this point. I've done my part and used my last chance years ago. I'm just tired, everyone... I'm not going to run anymore.

Moony, come on, you don't mean that. James said in disbelief.

Visibly struggling to stay upright, Remus set down a hand to brace himself. It took several breaths before he had the strength to carry on again.

For your sake, and for everyone here, I wont turn myself in. But this has to end. Not a single one of the Underground expected me to come home without being tracked... I didn't, either. I don't want it.

Ms. Horder was smiling now, unnoticed by the others. Her eyes had a vibrant spark to them, and she was wringing her hands together.

I'm going back to Hogwarts, and I'll stay there, try to graduate. If the Ministry comes for me, I'm not running. I'm so tired of running.

His eyes closed, and Rhint guided him back to the pillow. He said nothing more, unable to find the drive to do so, and merely drifted back into a superficial sleep.

How can he do that to us? Sirius whispered.

He's been on his last straw too long, Black. We all knew it was coming.

Doesn't mean we have to accept it. Romolus muttered.



Her hands were delicate, leafing through each paper so carefully as if they were made of the finest glass. A life had been ruined over the few slices of parchment, though thousands more had been saved. Though to the few close to Remus, the balance seemed unfair.

How long would it have been before you were caught? she asked, raising an eyebrow every so often. It was a startling discovery, and she was very glad indeed that it had been taken from the wrong hands.

A matter of days. Caleb said, his voice barely carrying. He had his head in his hands, fingers lacing through the thick, sandy locks in pensive frustration. Hell, one day later may have determined all of our lives.

No wonder you had to let him go. the woman said with a sigh. She placed the papers back in the folder, and after a pause, handed them back to Melhane. It's a damn shame it had to be him.

No one else knew the complex but me. Caleb snapped.

Ah, so you're feeling a bit guilty, is that it? I wondered what was going on.

Of course I feel like shit! he blurted out, lifting his head up for a moment. His eyes had dulled, nothing of their old life was left. I let that kid... I let him walk right off, knowing damn well he'd either die or be caught. None of us stopped him... I should have gone!

Caleb, you know perfectly well that your body can't handle that anymore. Melhane said gently. No one is blaming you for this, we wouldn't have the nerve or right to. You started this, remember. Without you these papers wouldn't have made an ounce of difference.

At any rate, Ms. Horder said, interrupting the tense moment. Lupin did a damn fine job, I don't think anyone could have done better. He was excruciatingly clever in his ways... Only one witness saw him directly, and under such conditions it's not likely that they'll ever compose an identity.

Stop kidding us. James mumbled from the couch. They had all camped out in the living room, unwilling to leave Remus' side for the night. He's going to be caught, isn't he?

After no more than a second of hesitation, she nodded. Yes, he most likely will. Though I can't say how long it will take.

The handmade clock hanging on the wall let out a rattled and somewhat choppy chime, sounding off midnight.

With a heavy sigh, Ms. Horder stood up and grabbed her cloak.

Hold tight to those papers, Simmers... Being able to track every person infected with the curse is invaluable right now. You don't want them to get that back.

He nodded, saying nothing as she started to leave.

Come on boys, grab Lupin and let's get out of here. The wards are only disarmed for another ten minutes.



Their eyes were following him, that he was sure of. It would be asking for a miracle for the school to not notice his absence, let alone his appearance. Despite Madame Pomfrey's latest round of inventive spells and potions, the bruises still showed, and he still walked with great difficulty.

Sirius nudged him lightly in the side as to avoid hurting him, but enough to make him notice. Understanding, Remus lifted his head up, and tried to smile back at his peers.

As they entered the Great Hall for breakfast, the staring became worse. Nearly every set of eyes fell upon him, wondering why he looked so beaten, or why he hadn't been in class again.

...Gone during the attack on the Ministry, even...

Unusual, though. It wasn't like the others.

...Never did trust him. He's up to something, I don't care what Horder and Dumbledore say.

Looking up at the Head Table, he met the old man's gaze. Surprisingly enough, he didn't look angry, simply relieved to see the young Gryffindor. He was beckoned forward, and forced to leave the comfort of his indestructible companions.

They spoke softly, as the Hall was so silent without the usual roaring chatter. Periodically Dumbledore would joke of something, and begin to laugh merrily. It was only an act, Remus thought, to keep the others from suspecting. Before he left, he was grasped the the shoulder, and greeted with a very warming smile.

I do hope she's feeling well. Send my regards, will you? he asked loudly. Remus understood, and tried to convey his torn emotions back to the old man to whom he owed so much. The end result was a weak smile and a shallow nod.

So, what'd I miss? he asked the Gryffindor table. Shaking off their stares, some of which were not in the least bit friendly, he took a bite of his meal and idly chatted about Quidditch with his friends.

A silent breath was let out, and the Great Hall returned to its normal hum of gossip. Though mingled within, whispers of his name were spoken, and more than one finger was pointed.



But how'd you find out about that registry if the Ministry only unearthed it the day before?

Remus set down his glass of water, and took a moment before he began. He had severely underestimated the strain it would cause to resume classes and normal activity so soon, and late in the day his body was refusing to function quickly.

I had a Vision on it before, though I never paid attention to it. he said quietly, rubbing his throat. The other night, I just... I don't know. It's hard to explain. Something clicked, and once I figured it out...

Sick of standing around and watching it all go by? Sirius asked, surprisingly solemn. He wasn't smiling, nor looking boyishly interested in another exciting tale from his friend.

Yes, basically. I don't think you guys know what it's like to have so much harm done to those you care for, and you just have to stand by and watch...

James, Sirius and Peter all let out an identical groan, and rolled their eyes at Remus.

Of course we do, Moony. James chuckled. We go through the exact same thing with you... You run off, risk your life, and you never even tell us. And when we do know it, you downright refuse to let us into your life so we can help, just because you're afraid we're going to be hurt.

It hurts more to see you suffer alone. Sirius said.

It made sense now, Remus realised with a grim frown. Their somber eyes and saddened glances weren't from the war, or stress... They were for him.

I suppose it's too late to say I'm sorry. he grumbled.

It's never too late.

We can always start over, you know? Just promise us this, Moony. Sirius said, leaning forward and taking Remus' hands. He wanted to be sure that his friend heard this clearly, that the message was clear. Never push us out of your affairs because you think we'll be hurt. We want to help, alright? No consequence could ever be more damaging than watching you carry a burden yourself.

Nodding, Remus cracked a small smile.




Rom, what are you doing here? I said I would be alright by myself over the holidays.

Dancing blue eyes met his own, and after a moment of searching, the young boy was presented with a rather poorly wrapped package.

Merry Christmas, Remus. he said simply.

Pursing his lips, Remus looked from the box- which most likely contained secondhand clothes- back to his brother. We can't afford that, and besides, I'm doing alright. You don't need to go out of your way to help me, especially if it's just to celebrate a holiday. A letter would've worked.

Romolus let out a sigh that froze in the air, and he shrugged. I'm allowed to care about, little brother. Don't be so grim all the time... Accept the fact that I'm gonna be here when you need me, and I'm gonna be a nosey and annoying little prat when you wont let me. Now really, stop staring like that and just unwrap it.

Doing as he was told, he took the snow-covered parcel and undid the stained twine. Inside, once the torn folds of the box had been lifted, Remus wa startled to see Romolus' prized book of magic, and a wand, delicately bundled in a piece of velvet cloth.

Lighten up, Remus, and try to enjoy life a little, okay?





A/n- Alight, first off: Thanks for sticking with me! Heh. Hope you enjoyed, and yeah, toss me a review. I live on um.

Now, for the important bit....


EDIT: So many of you were awesome enough to help out with my problem, that I can say right now I'm an incredibly happy nerd. You all helped tip the 10,000 form requirement and I get my new game in a bit. Thanks so much!


Iggie's done whining for assistance now. So go review.