A/n- Alright people, screw. I decided to go a little odd with this one. More will be explained in the second part/93, so you'll have to hold tight for a while. Only one more month of school and then I'm free to write.




Seeing Grey - Part XCII - Security




He looks a mess.

Don't they always? Caleb muttered dismally, turning away from the battered child. With a small sigh, he shook his head and let his new wife lead him off down the camp's main trail.



Eyes snapping back to attention, Remus was startled at the sharp, but fairly quiet outburst. He knelt down, closer, and then his eyes went wide.



In... In my pocket, please, I need- the boy stammered, struggling to breath. His hands limply went to his chest, trying to grasp something that wasn't there.

Remus sat motionless, too stunned to react. Another outburst from the boy finally sparked his mind into working.

Is this- he started to ask, but the tiny vile was grabbed from him. Small, pale hands plucked the cork stopper off, and the boy downed the vial. Blood-red liquid crept down the sides of his mouth and across his dirty cheeks. His chest rose unsteadily, high off the blanket that had been laid down for for him, and a frightening, airy gasp echoed with each breath he took.

Remus tried to ask, his mind torn. He was so concerned, as the boy looked fragile enough to break at the slightest touch. But his senses were in an outrage.

The most startling eyes Remus had ever seen finally peered up into his own. Swirls of red amidst a sea of deep amber, haunting and endless. Remus shivered. His left eye was of the purest, most unnatural shade of ice blue he had ever seen in nature, let alone on a person. A white crescent scar curled his brow and cheek, breaking at his blue eye. Remus wanted to ask, but couldn't find words.

Can you... Can you please, I need water... he said. Remus couldn't tear himself away from the unblinking stare.

How did you find us?

I've been looking for years. It's been... So long. he said faintly, his quiet voice cracking. Remus wanted to know more, but he knew the boy's body was giving out. He Summoned his flask of water, which was gulped greedily in a frenzied rush.

Water dripping down his front, mixing with the thick potion, for the first time it seemed, the boy let out a breath. It was as if he was afraid to let any air escape, for fear it wouldn't return.

He thrust out his hand, rather high for it to be shaken. Remus understood the gesture, and lightly sniffed. His mind erupted once more. He wasn't wrong.

Remus Lupin, as you know. he said, almost to himself.

The boy nodded, and started to mumble something, but the sounds drifted past Remus like a cool wind. Such bright, dizzying ice in that eye...

Please, make sure they find her. he muttered weakly, coughing after a moment. He pushed Remus' offered hand away, curling up slightly as his body convulsed. He shook his head several times, trying to motion Remus away.

Respecting his privacy, Remus waited only long enough to see that he was alright. Only half the distance to his own hammock, Rhint crept up on him. She looked and emitted an aura of agitation, and was jittery on her feet.

Something wrong? he asked slowly, his mind still slightly blurred.

Rhint frowned, furrowed her brows, and backed away slightly.

That woman from your school is here. she said uneasily, wringing her hands together. And she brought that boy with her.

Oh, God. Remus muttered. He knew his friends would be trying to find him, but not Ms. Horder. His stomach lurched with a pang of guilt, and he felt nauseous very suddenly. Rhint put her hands on his chest and back right as he started to fall forward, supporting him quite easily.

Go to the medical field. she said promptly, in such a tone that he couldn't utter a protest. Not that he wanted to open his mouth; he was feeling quite sick...

Figuring he would head in that direction to satisfy her iron-willed request and later turn off, Remus nodded briefly. She walked with him a few paces, stopped as she heard a faint call of her name from the main camp, and parted with a kiss to his cheek.

Hey! Hey, please, don't do that! She isn't going to- No, please, don't! Just back off and- NO!

Remus cocked his head back, and saw the boy with the cyan eye calling out. He was sitting partially upright, resting all his weight on his horribly thin left arm, waving the other frantically. Curious, Remus started to go in that direction, forgetting his professor and his nausea.

Just let her go, please! the boy, Roufuss, called out. His voice was rather frail, and raspy at the volume he was attempting. As Remus neared, he could see the boy's chest heave with each urgent shout. He was squirming on the cloth cot, looking as though he desperately wanted to leap from it.

For what, Remus didn't see right away. Once again he found himself transfixed by the icy eye, until he smacked into something very solid.

Mr. Lupin, sir!

His vision temporarily gone, Remus relied on the voice to keep his place. A hand reached out, grabbed him by the forearm, and he was jerked away. When the black veil was lifted from his eyes as his head eased, he found himself behind a quartet of sturdy men from the Underground. A slightly younger man was in front of them, and fighting with all his might to keep a sheer black horse calm. Ropes had been tied about its neck and muzzle, and the creature was rearing furiously.

What's he doing out here?

Not one of ours, sir! one of the men, a burly fellow in his fifties, called. The horse reared up again, kicking out at the group. Someone reached for a wand, but Remus grabbed his hand.

He's not one of ours. he said quickly, hearing the young boy's calls echo in his mind. Disarm yourselves!

Two of the men looked back in disbelief, but did as their respected leader commanded. Pushing ahead, Remus broke between the two men guarding him, and shoved aside the man holding the horse. For a moment, his heart fluttered, seeing the beast before him. It was not large at all, and rather diminutive for a horse at all, but there was such ferocity in the animal's eyes that he couldn't help being struck with flight fear.

he said softly, holding the rope to the horse's muzzle very slack. He didn't let go, only to keep it from bolting. There was no intention for him to restrain the creature.

Mr. Lupin, sir, you should-

he snapped, though not harshly. After a moment of silence, broken only by the boy calling out once more, the horse settled. He lowered to all four, his hooves dancing lightly in agitation on the dusty ground.

Roufuss, is this your horse? he asked gently, though loud enough for the boy to hear. Two black ears pricked forward at the name, and a small spark ignited in the horse's eyes. With his rage gone, he realized his master was nearby. It let out a delighted whiney, and tugged, almost playfully, at the rope Remus still held.

You'd best come get this animal before he decides to kick one of us again. one man said resentfully. The boy didn't reply.

Remus, now smiling, removed the tie from the horse and freed it of the other ropes. A hand on its neck to guide him, they walked past the stunned men and to the isolated cot of the medical field.

As the black horse neared, his steps became urgent, and he whinnied once more. Breaking free from Remus, he trotted clumsily, and found his owner. Remus was amazed as the horse stopped, and bent its knees slightly. In a moment's time, it was on the ground, a position that defied all instincts any sane horse should have.

What in... he muttered in awe, watching the horse nudge the tiny boy with his muzzle. Roufuss, who looked much happier than before, wrapped his arms around the horse's neck, and then the animal started to move. In one sweep, he craned his neck and swung it back sharply, helping the boy onto his back.
They shared a long pat and quiet words of welcoming, the boy leaning against the mane in contentedness.

Mr. Lupin, should we have that animal-

Leave it, he's part of the Underground. Remus said shortly, watching with intrigue. Why hadn't the boy gotten up to help his companion?

He had no time to ponder, however, as a very unenthused woman stepped into his line of vision.

Mr. Lupin, a few words, if you will. she snapped, almost yelling. There was a trail of several Underground men and women behind her, all with faces full of outrage.

One, in particular, made Remus' stomach swirl again.



I would have thought you wiser than running away again, Mr. Lupin. Dumbledore said solemnly, his eyes devoid of their usual cheerfulness. Remus turned away, looking instead at the pebbled at his feet.

I'm not running, sir. This is my choice.

You choose filth, despair, and persecution over your friends, security, and all you wanted? Horder interjected, her face blank. The Ministry is after all of you, and they're damn close to finding this entire nomadic pack. Even the Dark One wants you for his own. I've heard tell of slaughtering, suicides by those unable to stay sane through the whispers he spreads at every moon. You choose a life plagued with hatred, when you could have so much more?

He took in a breath, closed his eyes. Every night he went through this in his mind, but here it was before him once again.

Celia brought me here because the Ministry is coming tonight, Remus. Dumbledore went on. Some whispers spread through the small crowd that had gathered, and more than one person started to run off to tell word. Caleb wisely stopped them short and instead hustled everyone away.

It's graduation in the morning. Ms. Horder said, her tone almost lifeless. She didn't sound angry, and hardly looked it. This unsettled Remus. You need to come back, if only for that.

he asked, looking up. I worked, as hard as I could, and it was in vain for part. I'm never going to be able to fit in with the rest of the wizarding world. A Hogwarts diploma wont do me a damn thing to keep society from shunning me. At least here I'm with kin.

What about Black, and Pettigrew? Potter and Evans? Don't you care about them at all?

His stomach lurched again; so that's what this was all about. He hadn't even been aware of his precogs, he was so used to ignoring them. Part of him had been dreading this all along.

They're about the only thing that makes this difficult. he replied with gritted teeth.

Remus, we know you're life here isn't easy, and I wouldn't begin to say that life in our world would be any less difficult-

I can take the problems, that's not it. he snapped.

Then why are you so torn, Lupin? Ms. Horder asked, leaning forward, elbows pressed to the fallen tree they used as a table for water flasks. If you can handle the pain and prejudice outside, why do you run?



You're damn noble for running this nomadic troop of those in distress, but it's a guise, Lupin, I can see through this. You may love all the people here, and want to help with every ounce in your soul, but if you're so damn positive you can take the pain outside, why are you torn?

Celia, that's enough. Dumbledore said quietly, his hand on her shoulder. He pulled her back slightly. She rolled her shoulder away indignantly, and frowned. Her eyes locked with Remus' and she carried on regardless.

This world is eating itself away, kid, and you have the potential to help change it for the better. Staying here is only going to bring your downfall, and you know it. The Dark One wants your kind for his pets, the Ministry wants your kind for being of Dark blood. You can't escape both.

And what of everyone here? he asked, his voice shallow and empty. The young girls with tattered clothes, young boys who an barely survive their own monthly curse... The elderly who've seen far more than any human should, the women who suffer for their lost family... What of them? What of all we've done, Caleb, my brother... Will it just be in vain? His voice raised, a flush of passion washing over him. We fight our own bodies just to keep a heartbeat, scream in our own minds for a glimmer of hope that someday the pain will cease. Living through gunfire, curses, bloody wounds so deep you don't want to heal... Even the small ones are left alone for all that suffering, struggling to keep alive as they travel place to place.

Romolus cringed, feeling the sorrow his brother had lived on his own.

Do you want me to abandon everyone, all these people who have worked so hard and look up to me now? I can't just leave them here to die by the hands of a mage, Dark or not. No one will ever accept us except ourselves. This pack is all we have, and whether or not I want to be I'm something of their leader.

Ms. Horder smiled softly, and shook her head, tresses of hair shadowing her tired face. Why do you think they admire you, Lupin? Because you can fight, because you escape?



You've done something they haven't ever had the chance to. You can walk out, freely, and have a place in Hogwarts. Waiting for you are four people who would give anything to see you again. Lupin, don't you get it? They're waiting for you to break the rules.

I think she has a point, Mr. Lupin. Dumbledore said, nodding to himself. So many small children here, it astounded me at first. and they all smile in awe as you walk past, whisper in delight about your parades at Hogwarts. I don't mean to unsettle you, but many of your pack, the adults as well, wish very much to see you graduate.

Confirm to them that there is hope. Horder continued, leaning close again. She forced him to meet her eyes, and Remus swallowed tight. Leaving may render them defenseless, but what's security without hope for freedom?

He let his head fall downwards, limp on his neck, willing his eyes to stop welling up. Stop it, you have to...

If I go back, the Ministry will come after me.

Remus, they have you tagged and tracked. Ms. Horder said almost absently, as if it were the latest weather update. Stand and fight, but don't let them take you with your head down in shame.

His eyes welling up, Remus nodded, knowing it was something he would finally have to confront.

We'll leave as soon as you're ready.

I may never be ready for this.'





A/n- I'm sorry for the delay, and I wish I had a better excuse. I cut the chapter short and the next one will be more of 92 part 2 than chapter 93. Figured you guys needed something for now.


More when it's done.