I'm such a sap for my good friend-come-reviewer kizna. I'm also suffering from writer's block on everything else I should be writing, so here's another chapter, in which I get to poke fun and parody self insertion fics. Be prepared to be immersed in my odd little bubble of a world.
Sheik had finally finished explaining the situation to Link, who, all things taken into account, was managing the oddness of it all rather well. The explanation had taken at least triple the time it should have done, as the girl had leapt in every couple of minutes with a witty comment or a question, which had thrown the Sheikah off the point time and time again. Not to mention her obvious sideways look at the Hero himself, which had made the young warrior very nervous, meaning that he often had to ask Sheik to repeat himself.
Yet, at last, all the talk was over, and they made ready to exit the temple of time and begin on their quest. Merrily, the girl began skipping off down the central aisle, and Link was astounded that she didn't trip over the excessive amount of chains and scarves on her person. Navi immediately abandoned him for the girl, and he felt a little disheartened. The two females laughter rang out in the cavernous vaulted ceilings of the place of worship, and looking over his shoulder, the Hero was able to catch Sheik rolling his eyes in exasperation.
Looking back in the direction that he was walking, he saw that the girl had stopped at the front doors of the temple, and was leaning heavily against the dark wood, awaiting his and the Sheikah's arrival. She tapped her feet on the floor (he couldn't see them, but he was able to distinguish the little tap each time her shoes touched the stone). Finally, when he had managed to reach halfway down the aisle, she peeled herself away from her leaning post, and urged him and Sheik on raucously. "Come on! I want to get out of this place before night falls and even more of those red-heads," Navi dipped down and whispered in her ear, "Re-deads?" the girl queried. "Really? Hmm...no wonder the guys in the games club were laughing at me..." she shook her head and smiled, and then looked up again. "Anywho, as I was saying, more of those re-deads," she leant heavily on the word to prove that she had, indeed, said it correctly, "will come out, and considering I don't have a weapon, and my running leaves much to be desired, I'd like you to go out there in front of me please."
Link just sped up, though hadn't understood half of what had been said. the girl spoke much faster than anyone else he had ever met before in his life. I wonder if anyone's able to understand her at all? He thought, even as he drew level with her. Only a second or so later, Sheik had also joined the party, meaning that all four of them were standing ready to exit the temple altogether. Navi had once again returned to inside Link's hat, and he felt slightly comforted to know that she hadn't abandoned him just yet. The girl, on the other hand, seemed to have lost all interest in him, as she had turned to Sheik, and begun to speak in her gabbled way, keeping her voice low as she did so.
Sheik nodded a couple of times, rolled his eyes, batted away her hands as she attempted to prod him in the stomach, and generally acted in a rather brotherly way to the girl, finally saying, "I suppose so. That would mean it'd be easier, and, well, if you get caught, it's not exactly that much of a loss..."
"Hey!" she protested, though there was a smile on her face. "Reckon you could just, I dunno, lend me something 'til I can get the cash?"
"Cash?" the Sheikah repeated, the word sounding even stranger when he tried to say it, than it had when the girl had said it.
"Yes, cash. Dinero, currency, notes, money you moron!" she hissed, sounding highly amused that he hadn't understood her meaning. Link felt glad that he hadn't been the one to question her, as he felt quite stupid enough already...especially considering he'd understood perhaps only twenty per cent of what she had said since he'd met her. She was very odd...
"If I'm the moron, how come you managed to electrocute yourself and end up here?" Sheik countered smugly. The girl raised her hand, opened her mouth, and then dropped it again,
"Good point," she muttered, blushing and looking at the floor in embarrassment.
"Sorry, but it's just such a cliché thing to do..." he said, bending down so that he was on her eye level. Once more, Link felt left out, and was glad when Navi came out to sit on his shoulder, and started filling him in about what had happened in the seven years whilst he'd been asleep.
Helena, meanwhile, was going over her method of entrance to Hyrule in her head. As she did so, the flush on her cheeks deepened, and Sheik actually began to feel a little sorry for her (for the first time he could remember). It couldn't be easy being a chubby teenager with braces, hair that would do a crow's nest proud, and a penchant for being too excitable, which more often than not got her into a lot of trouble. Like that time she attempted to write a serious Lord of the Rings story, but nearly killed herself when she red it through and found all those clichés...
Sheik's comment about my method of entrance into Hyrule had cut me more deeply than I'd like to admit. After all, what a stupid, over used way to get in! I couldn't believe I'd done it, to be honest. After seeing the plot device used so often, you'd think a girl would learn that there must be something more original than that, but, oh no, I just had to plagiarize everyone else, and nearly fry myself to death in the process!
This probably makes little sense to all of you, so I suppose I should explain...
I'd just managed to procure the game cube from my brother, who was trundling back off to university for his third year. I'd exchanged it for my gameboy advance and three Zelda games (Oracle of Ages, Oracle of Seasons and that funny Four Swords thing that I'd never actually bothered to try out.) So, being overly merry, plus wanting another excuse to procrastinate from writing my history essay about Weimar Germany's weaknesses, I decided to set it up.
I'm no technical genius, it must be said. Wiring things up is a highly daunting prospect for me. So, like the resourceful child I am, I actually went and sought out the manual that came with the console to ensure that I was putting the right plug things in the right plug thingies. Not that that makes a blind bit of sense...ah well... As I was saying, I was connecting the thing up, and having a whale of a time as I went about, singing along to whatever Windows Media player threw my way. When it was at last connected correctly, I rummaged around in the games I had been left.
And, I swear my heart stopped when I saw that beautiful, shiny, snazzy gold case! (This would be down to the fact that it was Zelda, but also down to my magpie-like tendencies to like shiny things.) And, when I took it out of the bag and saw the words 'special edition' inscribed at the top, my heart stopped again. This meant I sort of keeled over and semi-fainted for a few seconds, since not enough blood was going to my brain. That's what happens when you use the same clichéd reaction too many times in a row I suppose.
However, I must stop divulging from the point! Immediately, as the N64 had decided to give up on me, I ripped open the case, and jumped for joy when I found I could play the old Ocarina of Time, and the brand spanking new Master Quest! I popped the tiny disc into the console, pushed the on button, and watched as the fuzzy black and white dots on my TV screen turned into the selection screen. Feeling daring, I clicked upon Master Quest. (OK, not daring, just a little cocky in my gaming abilities by this point.) In I go to the start menu, and I immediately go into the options menu to turn the ruddy focus switch onto 'hold'. Because I've never been able to abide the switch method.
Then, I click down on a new game slot, and type in the customary 'Dustbin'.
Yes, Dustbin.
Don't look at me like that. It's a long running joke that I found highly amusing when I first used it as a game name, and it stuck ever since.
So, I typed in the name, scrolled down to press 'End', and it flipped over to show me a new game file. Scroll up, click on the game file, see the usual three heart containers, and wahey, away I went! The screen went black, and launched into the opening credits. I saw Navi, and that usual feeling of love and hatred combined flickered in my stomach. I settled on love when she did that adorable running into the fence thing she does. Yes, I'm a sucker for the clumsy people...
Link appeared on the screen, and my usual compulsion to say 'aww' in a ridiculously loud voice overtook me. However, at that very moment, my mother decided to come back home, and I knew that she would be mightily unamused if she found out I wasn't doing my work like a good little student. So, hurriedly, I shoved my controller under the desk, wiggled the mouse on my computer around to bring up my half finished essay on the screen, and then leant over to turn off the game cube.
As usual, being the forgetful and foolish person that I am, I forgot that I'd left my coffee mug teetering on the edge of the computer desk. As I leant over, I caught it with my elbow, and down the coffee went onto the four bar plug socket thingie to which the game cube was plugged. This thingie being what I usually use as a footrest, the coffee conducted electricity into my feet (I never do push the plugs in properly), and I pretty much squeaked/swore in one. Then, mentally cursing my own stupidity and my slovenly study, I tipped off my chair and it all went black.
And then...well, and then I woke up, saw a rather lovely indigo clad man standing over me, looking rather on the shocked side. Sitting up, I winced, looked down at my foot, and saw that I had a rather fetching set of burns on it. At a cough from the man in indigo, I looked up again. "Yeah?" I prompted, wondering if this what was being delusional was really like...
"Would you, by any chance, be the author that goes by the name of canihavea-soda?"
"Uh...yeah...why?" I asked, now putting my ever-cold hands over the burns on my foot to try and soothe them.
"Thought as much." With that, he knelt down and glared at me. Naturally, I turned into a quivering fangirl at this point.
"Pretty," is all I remember muttering, before he sighed derisively, put a hand on my shoulder, and told me to go to sleep. And, well, you never go against what a pretty guy tells you to do, so, I did.
That's about it really. Terrible way to get into Hyrule, but a grand way to get out of doing your work, eh?
I am the queen of slow moving stories it seems. We're still not out of the temple. As I said, this was to try and get rid of my block. Sadly, I don't think it worked, but hopefully this should reinforce people's belief that I am, in fact, still alive.
Blah. I'm a clichéd fangirl through and through.