Amor Fictus
Written by Sakki-san
Anything you haven't heard of belongs to me.
Anything you have heard of, doesn't.
"Ran."
"Nnngh…"
"Ran, wakey wakey…"
"Go away…"
"Ran, it's 7:15…"
"What?!"
Ran opened his eyes and saw Yohji leaning over him.
"Yeah, you're late for school."
"Shit!" Ran pushed Yohji out of the way and rolled out of bed. His sheets tangled around his legs and he crashed to the floor. Swearing, cursing, struggling madly, Ran tried to escape his binds.
Only to find that Yohji was sitting on them and laughing.
"Baka. It's Saturday."
"…you…" Ran tried to lunge at his blonde roommate. Unfortunately, the sheets refused to let him go, and Yohji was parked on their place of origin. Grinning like mad. Arms folded. Holding Ran's clothing.
"Ah, angry, are we?" Yohji laughed. "I just wanted you to panic. You're cute when you panic."
"Dammit! Shut and get off me!" Ran managed to turn on his back, twisting his legs severely in the process.
"Nah. Like I said, you're cute when you panic, and you're even cuter when you're pissed." Yohji leaned forward and poked Ran in the nose. "And you're just adorable when you're anything but a cold, icy mask."
Ran blinked, then sighed.
"Yohji, please…"
"Hai, hai." The older man lifted himself from the bed and strode to the doorway. Ran shoved the sheets off his body, stood up, and fell over.
"Shit!!!"
Ran had fallen forward and just about broken his arm in the process. His right arm and hip got the most damage, being bruised almost instantly. Yohji turned and saw this.
"…are you ok?"
"No."
"…awwww!"
Ran stared. That wasn't a good noise.
"You poor thing! Your legs must be asleep!" Despite the sweet tone of his voice, Yohji was wearing the most devilish grin Ran had ever seen him wear. It wasn't often Yohji pulled out this grin; he only did so when he had an idea, and it was almost always embarrassing on Ran's part.
"…don't even think about touching me."
It was too late. Yohji had moved in and swept down like a vulture going in for the kill. He picked Ran up in his arms and scurried off to the bathroom.
"You poor innocent dear," purred the demon. "You're all red in the face! Is your arm ok?"
"I'm fine, dammit! Let me go, Yohji!" Ran struggled in the blonde's arms.
"No, you're cute like this. You're blushing and everything!"
"Hell, wasn't I embarrassed enough yesterday?!"
"Yes," responded Yohji with a wide smile, "But you could use a little more." He walked into the tiny, linoleum-floored bathroom and dropped Ran on the floor. Ran hissed and tried to stand up again despite the pain in certain parts of his body. Yohji left the room, cackling like mad.
He had shut the door and locked it from the outside.
Damnit! Why did he have to install those locks?!
Ran gave a sigh. At least his clothes were here, and he was in the bathroom; he could take a shower without Yohji annoying him. Of all the people who offered to give him a home, why was that stupid flirtatious blond selected?
Must have been the home conditions…
"Oi, chibi!" Someone knocked on the door.
"What?"
"Just to tell you, hurry up. You've got another session with that guy today."
"Nani?! When?!"
"Nine. You've got awhile, but I need you to cook breakfast."
"Damn you…" Ran grumbled as he stripped off his pants and stepped into the shower. He flicked the handle up and to the right for hot water. A shudder ran through the pipes, and suddenly the redhead was met with a blast of freezing water. He cursed the early iciness but was quickly subdued by the hot water taking effect.
Not wasting any time, Ran grabbed the half empty bottle of shampoo and he Yohji shared and squirted some into his hands.
Ugh, he must have put something in this. It doesn't smell right.
A groan escaped his mouth as he rubbed it into his hair. If Yohji was trying to make his hair look different again, like that time he put bleach in it so he could dye Ran's hair blonde, then he'd kill Yohji. Spread his intestines to every corner of the apartment building and throw his head in the river.
This doesn't smell like bleach, though…it smells kinda…fruity.
He sighed and rubbed the shampoo into his eartails individually. They got pretty dirty from being by his face all the time. Ran often found his face in the dirt during P.E., which meant his eartails met the dirt, too. And it wasn't always an accident.
While his hair rinsed, Ran pulled out a washcloth and washed his face. He used the only soap they had in the shower – Yohji's special kind, of course. Washed the soap off, made sure his hair was totally clean, turned off the water and grabbed a towel. He dried his hair and body, wrapped the towel around his waist, and stepped out of the shower.
A few minutes later he was dressed and in the kitchen, cooking up breakfast for two while his hair continued to dry. It felt lighter than usual. As the eggs sizzled in the pan, he decided to talk.
"Ne, Yohji."
"Hm?" The blonde was reading the comics section of the day's newspaper.
"What did you put in the shampoo?"
"Bleach."
Ran whirled, spatula upraised in the manner of one holding a steak knife, preparing to kill.
"Oi!! Just kidding, just kidding!" Yohji nearly fell out of chair when Ran took a step closer, still holding the spatula. "It was just some shampoo of mine. It makes your hair lighter and silkier. See? Feel it."
Ran, still keeping Yohji at bay with the fierce spatula, rubbed his left eartail between two fingers. It did feel nicer than usual…
"…fine…" He turned and went back to the eggs, which were starting to leap around on the crackling pan. They flipped over on his command, aided by the spatula. Then he got to work on the toast.
At last breakfast was ready. Ran and Yohji sat down at 8:00 to eat. For a few minutes they ate in silence, but Yohji broke the ice after a while.
"So. What do you think will happen today?"
"Nn." Ran had gone to see Suzuhara twice after his first time. Each time he'd been a little less solid, but after last night, he didn't know what he was going to do.
"…that's not a valid response."
"I'm surprised you actually said that."
"Why?"
"Isn't it a little out of your vocabulary range?"
"Ooh, I'm insulted." Yohji speared an egg, which spat yellow, uncooked yolk at him. The liquid slid down the greasy white porcelain and settled in the middle of his plate. Ran watched it.
"Hnn…"
"What's wrong, chibi? Tired from last night?"
"…what's that supposed to mea - Yohji!!"
"C'mon, I heard the two of you. You were – "
"Don't even start!" Ran interjected, feeling his face heat up. "We didn't do anything. He got into a low mood and I was just comforting him!"
"By doing what? Screwing his brains out?"
"No!" Ran felt like ramming the fork into Yohji's head. "It wasn't like that at all! I didn't even consider doing that!"
"Sure you didn't." Yohji's lazy smirk seemed to proclaim, 'God's not here. How can I help you?'
"….You….can't…." Ran couldn't even finish his sentence.
"I can think what I want." For a moment, Yohji's eyes went cloudy as he imagined certain things Ran and Ken could have been doing last night.
"Yohji!!"
As abruptly as they misted they grew clear; the blonde smiled and patted Ran on the head.
"Don't worry, chibi. I'll keep your love a secret."
"You better," muttered Ran, only realizing what he'd said when Yohji burst out laughing again.
~~~
For the fourth time, Ran fingered the icy cool handle on the door leading into Suzuhara's office. Last time he'd noticed the gold plate on the door which read 'Professor Suzuhara, PHD'.
Aren't those doctors? He'd wondered. Then again, they had called Suzuhara a doctor…
Gingerly he opened the door. Once again he was greeted with the beautiful, cool wash of blue and air conditioning. Unconsciously he inhaled, trying to take in as much lightly scented, clean air as possible.
"Good afternoon, Ran," said Suzuhara unexpectedly from behind the desk. "Or, really, good morning. These winter mornings come so early, don't they?"
"Sometimes."
"Well, the evenings come early, anyway." Suzuhara tapped a pencil against the desk lightly. "Why don't you have a seat?"
Ran closed the door behind him and sat down on the slanted couch. It was a deep red, not like blood, but more like a purple-red. Maroon. It was a comforting color. It seemed to be made of velvet; he could tell by tracing his fingers along the wrinkles of the time-worn fabric.
"You like the texture?"
"It's nice," Ran said offhandedly. "And it's not the usual color."
"Blood red seems to remind people of its namesake," responded Suzuhara dryly.
"Mm," was all Ran said.
"So." Again Suzuhara tapped his pencil on the desk. "Last time you came, you mentioned your family. They're no longer around, correct?"
"They're gone."
"Right. You didn't mention how or why, though. Most people don't. It's a sensitive topic."
Ran was silent. He stared at the couch without seeing it.
Ever since last night, since Ken had spilled the basis of his life, Ran had been pondering over his own days and nights. They two of them had talked all night, from those early afternoon hours to nearly 10 PM. Time hadn't seemed to matter. Ken had admitted everything that had ever happened to him, from his days as a 3 year old to the present. Everything, from his parent's death (how lonely he'd always felt) to the beginnings of the constant pain he was forced to undergo nearly every night (how much more lonely he felt after that). Ken's problems seemed small compared to Ran's, which were just blasts from the past.
"Ran…what was that picture?"
"What picture?"
"The one with the car and the two kids…"
"…that was…a part of…my life…"
"Ran?"
Ran looked up, suddenly realizing he had been daydreaming.
"…sorry."
"It's all right."
"…I…"
"Hm?" Suzuhara looked up slightly from a pad of paper.
"I…when I was little…we lived in a different city." Ran stared at the floor, which stared back quite rudely. "I thought our lives were going ok, but then…"
There was an explosion. The entire house rocked, and the little redhead fell to the floor. Shocked, unknowing of what he was about to find, a youthful Ran crawled to his feet and looked around in a slight daze.
"N-nani…?"
"Onee-san?" came the light voice like silver bells. A girl wandered in, two blue braids hanging down her back. She clutched the front of a t-shirt tightly, looking at her 14 year old brother in confusion.
"Aya!"
"What was that noise?"
"I don't know," Ran said as he headed toward a door. "I'm going to find out, though." He grabbed the door handle.
Something exploded on his palm. Ran screamed and let go of the handle, clutching his arm tightly.
"Ran!" Aya said, rushing over. "What happened?!"
Slowly, Ran unfurled his clenched fist.
What he saw was a horrifying vision; the skin on his hand was bright red and burned, some places even black. Both children stared at it in horror.
There was something hot on the other side of that door.
"…Aya, get me my boken."
The girl nodded and rushed off, returning minutes later with the long wooden katana that Ran treasured. He brought the sword up, then down in a powerful slashing motion with broke both sword and door alike.
Behind it was a fire.
A pair of crystal blue eyes and a pair of crystal amethyst eyes stared in horror at the destruction of a world they'd grown up in. Flames engulfed every inch of the ground, the walls, even the ceiling. There were no screams, no cries for help other than the crackling of paper and sizzling as cloth melted.
Then, Ran broke out of his revere and tore into the flaming room.
"Ran!" screamed his little sister, wanting to grab him but not wanting to chase. After all, the room had gone up in flames, and if he didn't get out of there soon, so would he…
The young redhead, still clutching the lower half of his broken sword, raced through the room, not caring that flames licked at his arms and legs, scarring him for life. He knew where his parents had to be, where they were going to be. Ran grabbed the handle of the next door, not caring about the heat, and looked in.
There, lying on the ground was his mother, her hair engulfed in a crown of flame like the bandanas she so often wore. The fire had torn across her pale white skin, ripping it open like it was plastic and burning it just like plastic, leaving curling, blackened edges where the flesh had melted into her face. And her eyes were gone; the sockets were empty pits with fire leaping out of them like it was a portal to hell that had been torn open by some demon that was laughing at the carnage it had caused. Her arms had been burnt down to the bone; what should normally be white was already blackened from the scorching heat that now caressed Ran's face and body.
Then there was his father, his strong, muscular father, who was now sizzling like a pig on the spit. His arms had split open along the lines of his muscles and his veins had burst like a too-full hose, sending blood everywhere, staining the walls so much it looked like a bad paint job. As Ran stared, something else exploded with a sound like a gunshot, but whether it was organic or not didn't matter anymore. A piece of the ceiling had fallen on his father and severed him in half at the waist, and Ran could see the intestines spilling out because there was nothing left to hold them back. Half of his father's face was gone, ripped off like the claws of a demon had grabbed hold and pulled, leaving behind a twisted mask of bones and liquefied brain. The brain which dribbled out of the empty eye sockets like it was nothing more than water trickling over a rock.
So horrified by the sight in front of him, Ran couldn't feel the pain of the flames that seared his arms and legs. Had he been younger, or even older, his sanity might have slipped away with a whisper and smile, but he was 14, at an age where everything is just starting to take hold.
"Ran…"
His name, whispered through the flames.
"Ran…"
His name, which he did not hear.
"Ran!"
His name, screamed in desperation for him to hear and come.
"Ran, onee-chan! Run! Please! The roof – it's falling!"
A plea for help.
Ran broke out of his shock, turned, and ran for his life. The explosion he'd heard before was the sound of the solid ceiling above him starting to fall in. He left the room as quickly as he'd come in, images still dancing in his mind's eye. Snatching up Aya and leaving the house was the only thing he was able to do.
Once they were on the watery pavement, Aya screamed and shoved Ran on the ground. His head connected last, and he wondered why she was doing this. Only when she told him to roll did he realize that he was on fire.
Minutes later, he was out. Both children sat on the ground and stared as the flames enveloped their life. Aya was crying silently. Ran was staring, staring, staring at the world he'd thought would be his forever.
"Onee-chan…what now…?"
"…mom and dad…they're dead…"
Aya took the news better than her brother had, and only nodded. Still crying.
"What will we do, Ran?"
"…leave."
It seemed like the right thing to do. Go to the police, tell them what happened, and then leave. Have a funeral, of course; the two children discussed this lightly until they heard the screech of a car coming to a dead halt next to them.
Someone jumped out. Ran couldn't tell who, but their face was twisted with anger and cruelty. They weren't worried. This wasn't a passerby who was horrified by a flaming house with two children in the front.
This had to be the person who caused the explosion in the first place.
Ran leapt up and seized his sister. They disappeared into the shadows, but footsteps followed them.
"Damn you! I'll kill you!"
"Get back here! You can't run forever. You can't hide at all!"
Aya clung to her brother tightly. Ran stared through the cracks in the bags of trash, unaware that the huge blisters on his arms had begun to seep with blood and pus.
"I'll find you, and you'll pay."
"You'll scream like you've never screamed before!"
Ran tugged gently on his sister's arm. They had to move.
"I don't care if the cops come. I'll get my revenge."
"There you are!!"
The person stood over them, hidden behind the bags of garbage. Face shadowed face gone fire burning people screaming.
Ran seized Aya and the two of them ran, ran, ran ran ran. The person tried to chase them.
"Go on! Run! Run, you little bastard! You can't get away from me!"
"I'll catch you. I'll run you down and make you pay!"
Suddenly, there was no one behind them. The two stopped and glanced around. Where was their pursuer?
"Aya, go. Please go. Get to the police," urged Ran.
"Ran…"
For a moment, their eyes locked. It was as if they knew this would be their last moment together, their last moment -alive- together.
The moment passed, and Aya slipped from her brother's arms and took off down the street. Just as she did, however, there came the sound of a car barreling down the street, tires screeching. Ran whipped around
and found himself face to face with the neon headlights of a car. His eyes grew wide in that instant. Death's slimy hands reached out for his face. He couldn't move.
Something hit his side. He staggered out of the path of the car only to see
"AYA!"
Wham.
Ran clung tightly to his legs. Tears streamed down his face. One hand clutched his skull like it was the last thing left in the world that belonged to him. Suzuhara was sitting next to him, trying to get him to calm down.
"Ran. Ran."
"She…she pushed me out of the way…she was killed…because of me…because I wouldn't move…"
"You were terrified! It wasn't your fault, Ran."
"I could have moved…I…I could have…"
"Ran, sshh. Calm down. Relax." Ran slowly stopped clutching his head so tightly and ceased rocking.
"She…she died because…of me…"
"Ran, it wasn't entirely your fault. You could have moved, but you were scared." A hand gently massaged the back of Ran's neck. "Anybody would be frozen with fear if they had just seen what you had."
"Like a deer in headlights," responded the redhead bitterly. He withdrew his hand from where it had been on his head and stared at the few long hairs that were tangled in his fingers.
"That's a crude example, but true." Suzuhara stood up and went back to his computer. "Would you like me to call your friend for you? You can stay here until he comes."
"…sure." Ran felt a little better at that. He didn't know what he'd do if he was alone out there.
Within ten minutes Yohji was at the door, panting heavily. He must have really run up the stairs, Ran thought.
"Emergency?" coughed the blonde.
"Yes…I need to talk to you." Suzuhara took a confused Yohji outside and shut the door most of the way. The two talked in low voices which Ran could not hear. Instead of trying to eavesdrop, Ran lay on his back on the couch and stared at the plaster ceiling. It looked nothing like the one from home.
Home.
Yohji reentered the room, looking pale, but not nearly as pale as Ran. He walked over to the redhead and offered him a hand.
"Let's go home, kiddo."
"…yeah."
The two walked from the office, Suzuhara scheduling another appointment for Ran in a little less than a week.