Amor Fictus
Written by Sakki
Anything you haven't heard of belongs to me.
Anything you have heard of, doesn't.
8:30 PM
One week later.
Ran walked in the door to his shared apartment and smelled trouble instantly.
Firstly, there were no lights on. There were always lights on in the apartment, even if Yohji was asleep. Actually, that usually attributed to his being asleep.
Secondly, the TV was on, blaring some loud movie. Ran was unable to tell what movie it was from where he was standing.
Thirdly, the freezer door was hanging wide open. While this wasn't something uncommon in their apartment, there was a bag of frozen peas on the floor, which indicated that someone had opened the freezer door very, very fast.
Cautiously, Ran stepped into the living room, half expecting to see a couple dead bodies and a psychopath chewing on a dismembered arm.
Instead he was greeted with the sight of Yohji sitting on the couch, a spoon in his mouth and a container of ice cream in his hand, staring at the TV in some kind of trance. Ran suspected a mental breakdown and flipped on the lights.
"AAUGH!" Yohji cringed away from the lights and dropped his spoon. "It burns! It burns! Turn them off!"
Ran hit the switch and glared through the dark.
"…Yohji."
"Ahh, that's much better…"
"Yohji. What the hell are you doing?"
"I'm watching Blade II. That should be obvious enough."
"In the dark."
"Yes."
"With a carton of ice cream."
"Of course!"
Ran looked at him with a mixture of hatred and pity before turning around and heading for his room.
"You are such an idiot."
"Why don't you join me?" Yohji waved his spoon airily, knowing Ran wouldn't see it. "You could use a change in routine for once. Outside of going to the store, I mean."
Yohji had been proposing this as a jest, not seriously. So it was shocking when Ran actually hesitated in the hall and then turned to come back in the doorway.
"You have to get me a spoon, then."
Silence.
Then:
"Who are you and what did you do with Ran?"
Ran rolled his eyes.
"I'm an FBI agent infiltrating this apartment complex, looking for drug dealers, and we kidnapped and killed your friend in order to keep him from talking."
"Holy shit, you guys took long enough." Yohji grinned. "The marijuana farms are two levels up, rooms 421 through 440, the ecstasy dealer is on the first floor, and the landlord only accepts fine opium as rent payment."
"That's interesting. We've had reports that you've got a meth lab in this room. Mind if we look around?"
"Check the kitchen, second drawer from the left."
"Lazy ass." Ran went into the kitchen and pulled out a spoon, then returned to the living room where Yohji was still giving him a skeptical grin.
"What brought on such a change in personality? You usually just throw something heavy at me when I ask if you want to watch a movie with me. Especially one like Blade II."
"Hn." Ran climbed over the back of the couch and dug his spoon into the ice cream tub.
Two hours and forty nine sarcastic comments later, Yohji shut off the TV and said, "I didn't think the special effects were that bad."
"You're untrained." Ran tossed his spoon in the general direction of Yohji's head and missed. Yohji snorted in response.
"I'm untrained? What's that mean?"
"It means you're an idiot."
"Now that sounds more like the Ran I know." Yohji stretched out on the couch. "You've been acting funny lately, especially tonight. What made you so…sociable all of the sudden?"
"It's none of your business."
"Is it your boyfriend?"
"No!" Ran kicked at Yohji from his end of the couch.
"Oh ho, so it is!" cackled Yohji, sitting up. "Denial means instant yes!"
"Shut up!" Ran spat back, groping for something to throw. Damn his spoon for being so out of reach!
Suddenly, Yohji had managed to throw himself across the couch and nearly pin Ran down. Even though all the lights were off, the city outside was glowing orange, which went through their window and managed to illuminate the room just enough for Ran to realize what happened.
"Yohji, get off me." This was not an uncommon event, except that Yohji wasn't grinning.
"Not until you tell me what you and your boyfriend did to make you so sociable."
"We did nothing!"
"What about that dance last week, hm? You came home looking all flushed and happy…"
"How would you know?" Ran asked incredulously. "You were with some girl!"
"Yeah, but she wanted a peek at you, and considering what you were wearing, I got pretty damn jealous…"
"Shut up!" Ran shoved the laughing blonde off him and sat up. "It was your choice in clothes, anyway…"
"So? She wanted to jump you in the hall. I told her you were gay, though, but it didn't change much…"
"Fucker!"
"Oi, oi, relax, Ran. Ever heard of joking?"
"All the goddamn time," snarled the angry redhead, standing up and heading for the door. Yohji watched him go and sighed.
"If only you'd be more like this all the time…then maybe I'd get some straight answers out of you."
"I heard that. No, you wouldn't."
"Damn."
~~~
It was nearly midnight, and outside the warmth of apartment buildings or strategically placed industrial buildings, it was raining. Dark, heavy clouds hung over the buildings, looking as though they'd rather explode and drench the city in one massive tidal wave instead of letting out tiny droplets 500,000 at a time. A few poor unfortunate souls rushed from building to building in an attempt to keep dry. Others just sat in the rain, as they had been kicked out of their respective doorways for the night.
Ran and Ken were not of those poor unfortunate souls.
Ran was sitting at his computer, in his room, with the door shut. It would have been locked except that it didn't have a lock. So he'd jammed his basket of dirty clothes under the handle and sat down at his desk, ready for a night of insulting people who were too stupid to realize what kind of mistakes they made when they existed and illegally downloading music for his personal use.
Ken was lying on his bed, earphones on, CD player blasting, staring out the rain-streaked window with bored and slightly depressed eyes. He was still completely dressed, as if it was twelve hours prior to the current time. All the lights in his room were off, so he was getting an orange-hued glow from his window instead of a fake golden glow from his floor lamp.
Every once in a while, Ran would glance to his right, out the permanently latched window that was being barraged with raindrops. He eventually sighed in irritation and picked up his earphones. The rain was getting on his nerves; did it have to be so…repetitive?
Ken couldn't have heard it anyways.
The two of them did completely different things for about half an hour, whereupon Ken hit the 'next' button on his CD player and Ran double clicked on a song he hadn't heard before at exactly the same time.
Interestingly enough, they both wound up listening to the same song.
I'm so tired of being here…
Suppressed by all my…childish fears…
Ran pushed the right earphone into his head in an attempt to listen out of it better, since it wasn't working very well.
And if you have to leave…
I wish that you would just leave…
'Cause your presence still lingers here…
And it won't leave me alone…
Ken shifted on his bedspread, suddenly quite uncomfortably aware of a sharp pain in his chest. This song was starting to remind him of himself and the way he acted about Ran – he was always so naïve and useless whenever something came up that embarrassed him. Which was, surprisingly, a lot of things. And he was always thinking about Ran. Hell, right now was proof! The first thing he thinks of while listening to a song is the only guy he's ever liked. He wondered briefly if that put him under the 'obsessed' label.
These wounds won't seem to heal;
This pain is just too real;
There's just too much that time cannot erase…
Ran rubbed his right temple, feeling a headache coming on from the loudness of the music. As he reached out to turn down the volume, the sleeve on his t-shirt slid up and his burn scars became painfully visible. He stopped and looked at them for a moment as the song played on.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears;
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears;
And I held your hand through all of these years;
But you still have…
Ken's eyelids drooped.
…all of me…
Ran shook his head and turned the volume slightly lower. That was all in the past. There was nothing he could do to change it. Aya-chan had been a beautiful girl with a hopeful future, but his father had destroyed it through stupid bets and then she sacrificed herself to save Ran.
She was so still, the way she was just lying there, as if the rain couldn't make her move in death, so unlike the way she had acted in life, when she was always moving around, and how her last movement had been to push him out of the way, he wondered why had she done that if she knew she had so many more years left than he did?
He slammed a hand down on the keyboard, causing the file player to implode and an error message popped up.
Ken rubbed the side of his palm and continued staring out the window, his eyes nearly shut now. Music had an anesthetic effect on him, especially sad songs like this one. Especially songs that reminded him of someone he loved…like way back when he was a kid and his parents had just died, and at the funeral he'd heard someone singing and he'd burst into tears because it had been so sad. Ever since then he couldn't handle himself when he heard that song. He'd leave the room, or hide his face, depending on what mood he'd been in before. And sometimes someone would ask what was wrong, and he might mention that he'd heard it at his parent's funeral, and they'd suddenly get quiet, and he wondered why they did that every time, after all, he wasn't opposed to talking about it, it was like death was a bad things to talk about, but it happened to everyone eventually, didn't it, so why were they so hesitant about…talking about it, when they were so content with carrying it out?
Briefly he drifted into a dreamland that had been unhindered by school for nearly a week.
~~~
"House of pizza, how may I – gaack!"
A series of loud thumps and swear words emanated from the earpiece of Ken's telephone. Then:
"Hello?"
"Er…Ran?"
"Ken?"
"Yeah. Uh…what just happened?"
"Guess."
"…something that involved pain directed at Yohji?"
"I'd call it aggression."
Ken shifted so he was putting his weight on his left leg. Lately his right leg had been feeling weak, so he thought it would be better if he didn't stand on it for too long.
"Well, uh, I called to see if you were up for going out later today or something."
"Going…?" There was a slight pause, and another thump. "Where were you thinking of?"
"Maybe a restaurant or something. Or we could go to a park. Just something little – I can't go too far from the apartment."
He heard another silence, but this one was tense. Nervously, Ken cleared his throat.
"So, um, why don't we meet at the park near my place? You remember how to get there, right?"
"Y…yes. I do. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."
"Alright. See you then."
Ken hung up the phone with a click and stared at it for a while. He shouldn't have said that. It wasn't right to make Ran worry so much, especially after all the stuff he was almost saying but never really said.
He moved into the entryway and slipped on his shoes and jacket. Then he left the apartment, making sure that it was locked before he went down the elevator. He ignored the other man in the elevator.
He had fifteen minutes; he didn't need to hurry. Ken took a quick run down the gas station near his apartment building and bought a bottle of water. The walk back was taken with deliberate slowness, with Ken sipping water and watching people around him as he went. They were all very much alike.
Calmly, he walked into the park and took a seat on a nearby bench. He didn't expect Ran to show up for some time, so it was a bit of a shock when the redhead appeared in front of him within five minutes. Ken shook his head to clear the dizzy feeling from it and looked up.
"Hi…you're early."
"Felt like it." Ran didn't sit down. "What's wrong?"
"Huh? What do you mean, what's wrong?"
Ran's eyes narrowed. "I'm not stupid. You could go as far from your place as you wanted yesterday. Why not now?"
"I…well, er…I don't know, but…just sit down." Ran did so hesitantly, and Ken offered him the bottle of water. "Want some?"
"No thanks."
The two men sat in silence for a while before Ken broke the silence, as was to be expected.
"It's cool that school's been cancelled for a week, hasn't it?"
Ran gave him a cool look and raised an eyebrow.
"It's because someone's dead," he said flatly.
Ken blanched.
"I didn't know that."
"Don't you watch the news?"
"No, not often." Ken felt a slight blush rise. "I spend my time in my room."
"Hn." Ran looked back toward the hedges across the park. Ken took a deep drink from his water bottle and nearly finished it off.
"Do they know who did it?" he asked, wiping his mouth off on the back of his hand.
"Not a clue." Ran's eyes narrowed, two slits of hardened amethyst. "I wouldn't doubt…"
"…wouldn't doubt what?"
"Nothing."
Ken shrugged and finished off his water. He stood and was about to go throw the bottle away when another question, which he should have thought of earlier, hit him.
"Who was killed?"
"Schuldig, the German teacher. They don't know why he – "
Ken hit the ground in a dead faint.