Disclaimer: Don't own Nexus, Don't own Genobee, and my hands can't hit what my eyes can't see. (Sorry, sad attempt at humor there.)
Have fun reading this grossly exaggerated parody of Genobee.
Chapter 1 of Genobee's Minor Adjustment:
Genobee Saves a Raven
OR – The Chain Letter of Doom
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Genobee was very bored. Despite training, meditating, singing, loitering, soliciting, and illegally downloading music, he couldn't seem to get the feeling to go away.
"Man... there's nothing to do around here..." As a few crickets answered his unspoken plea for some excitement, he swore and snapped his fingers. "That's it, I'm going to see if there's anything I can do in Dual Face!"
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As Genobee got in Dual face, he noticed that he had a message waiting for him. Hmmm... it's from... hold on, who the heck is this udaman200284 guy? Man, what's up with all this junk mail? I'm getting tired of it. After quick cursory glance at the message, which mentioned something about dying if he didn't send it 100,000 other people within the next 30 seconds, he deleted it without a seond thought.
Life used to be so great before the Raven's Ark came along... Global Cortex was so much fun—wait a second, I was never in Global Cortex. ARGH!!!
Genobee fought back the obviously fake memories, and violently burst Dual Face out of the hangar. As various parts of the gantry that was holding the AC rained to the ground, Genobee activated Dual Face's boosters and slammed through the doors that led to the outside, screaming "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MOTHERLAND!!!"
One of the technicians in the garage looked at the violent spectacle, utterly confused. He turned to his buddy, who looked just as confused as he did. "What the heck is that guy's problem?"
His buddy shrugged. "Dunno, must have been that 'send this email to 100,000 people in 30 seconds or die' chain letter that's been going around. Getting it caused me to go nuts too."
The first technician laughed. "Yeah, I hate chain letters. Did you send it to 100,000 people like it wanted you to?"
The other guy shook his head. "Nah, how could I? I don't even know 100,000 people!" Just then a flying piece of rubble crushed him, and his friend was left standing there, stunned.
"Mike? Mike!?!?" When the first guy realized that his friend was dead, the traumatized technician ran off screaming, and the first thing he did when he got home was blast his cable modem at point-blank range with a 22-gague shotgun.
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So. I violently burst my AC out of the hangar while screaming AHHHHHHHHHH MOTEHRLAND!!! And now im stting here in the middle of the desert... and I STILL have nothing to do. This calls for some music!
Genobee's figners quickly found the built-in CD player, and he toggled over to the song he wanted in a matter of seconds.
"OH YEAH!!!" He screamed, and started headbanging as the song "Push the little Dasies" filled the cockpit. "WEEN ROCKS!!!" Genobee recklessly shoved the control sticks to his AC around, making Dual Face do some crazy mecha dance.
Dr. ? And Ammo watched Dual Face's crazy dance from inside Raven's Ark HQ.
"What do you think his problem is?" Ammo asked Dr. ?
"Dunno, but I'll bet it's that chain letter that's been going around." The doctor pushed his glasses up his nose, then turned around and started to walk away. On the spur of the moment, he stopped and turned to Ammo. "Hey, want to get some ice cream?"
Ammo gave Dr. ? A grateful look. "That's probably the sanest idea I've heard all day..."
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"TIME WILL TELL!! IT MIGHT EVEN BRING A WEDDING BELL!!!" Genobee screamed in tune to Ween's lyrics as his AC danced towards the distant bayload city. "GIRL IT'S TRUE!! THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD'LL BE SMILING WITH YOU!!" Suddenly, his AC's computer bleeped. "Hey, what's this!??" He noticed that there were four blips against one, and the one blip seemed to be losing. "Someone's in trouble! SUPER GENOBEE TO THE RESCUE!!!" Genobee shouted as he activated Dual Face's boosters, rocketing off towards Bayload city.
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"Damn." Raven cursed as his 20th rifle shot missed the MT horribly. "I knew I should have brought better anti-ECM equipment."
The four hovering MTs in front of him shot waves of rifle fire at him, and he was hard pressed to dodge the projectiles. He might have had a chance to dodge them successfully, but at that moment the most horrible song he'd ever heard seeped its way into his cockpit, and he screamed and clutched his ears. The distraction let the MTs pound his AC, which fell to the ground as its AP reached 0, emitting a cloud of gray smoke.
"OH MY GOD!!" Raven desperatley screamed, not caring who heard. He clutched madly at his ears, trying to block out the horrible melody. "SOMEBODY MAKE IT STOP!!!" A thin trickle of blood leaked from between his fingers, making him press his hands against his ears even more desperatley.
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"OH MY GOD!! SOMEBODY MAKE IT STOP!!!" Genobee grinned, seeing the AC getting pounded into the ground by the MTs. Here was finally his chance to show off, and better yet, not be bored!
"Super genobee to the rescue!" He cried, his AC leaping off the top of a nearby building and plummeting towards the ground. "Genobee shall save you from the mean MTs!!" He squeezed the trigger of his rifle, five rounds putting down the first MT. The second MT met its end at the hands of his grenade rifle chased with a blade wave. The third and fourth looked at "Super Genobee" and ran, screaming. Genobee frowned, he could swear he heard something about a chain letter in the screams.
Genobee supressed a shudder, remembering the chain letter from earlier. Surely a stupid chain letter couldn't harm Super Genobee!
"Super Genobee saves the day again!" He cried, momentarily forgetting that it was the first time that he had "saved the day." Dual face jetted off, leaving a battered and broken AC in its wake.
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"Damn that bastard!" Raven stood on top of his broken AC, nursing his damaged ears. "His crappy music must have fried my nerve endings or something, now I'll need hearing aids!!" Raven threw his helmet down in frustration, and growled to the uncaring ceiling of Bayload city, high overhead. "I'll get my revenge on you Genobee! I swear it!"
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"Another Day, another raven saved." Suddenly his cell phone rang, and Genobee bent to pick it up, taking his eyes off the viewscreen for a second. There was an angry yell over the comm, followed by an equally angry remark.
"Hang up and pilot asshole!"
Genobee flipped the bird at the other AC, then flipped the comm so he was transmitting to the other AC, getting rewarded by a horrible scream of anguish as the second raven was exposed to Ween. After completing his revenge, he turned off the music, as well as the comm, and answered the phone.
"Hey, Genobee!"
"Oh, hello Agraya. What's going on?"
"Well, I was wondering if we could get together later tonight. Crest gave me this assignment, and I'm not sure if I should take it or not..."
"It's all good. We can talk it over later."
"Alright... thanks Genobee... by the way..." Agraya switched over to a seductive voice. "There's something else I want to talk to you about..."
Genobee fought down a slight wave of panic. "Uh... Agraya... I'm your brother..."
"Oh." Agraya said stupidly. "Sorry... forgot about that."
"It's alright, there's nothing wrong with STML."
"Where do you want to meet?" Agraya either missed or ignored the STML comment.
"How about that one italian noodle place?"
"Sounds good to me! I'll be there at 6 alright?" Agraya hung up, and Genobee followed suit.
"Alright!" Genobee shouted and grinned. "It's time for Super Genobee to enjoy an italian noodle dinner!"
Another angry shout sounded as Genobee narrowly missed colliding smack into a second AC. Genobee just frowned at the other pilot's angry remark, then flipped on Ween again, trasmitting the song to the other AC's cockpit. He was rewarded with yet another tortured scream of agony.
You know. Maybe life isn't so bad after all...
No, Genobee probably isn't REALLY like this, but this IS a parody. Keep an open mind. Anywho, I know exactly what im going to write in the future, but actually writing it is a different task entirely, don't look for updates to this often.
WOOHOO!!! 130th AC fic!! SCORE!!!