Now it's time for part 3 of the only Genobee parody that i know of! Hehehehe

Disclaimer: Don't own Armored Core, or Evangelion, or Genobee, Hell, I don't even own Raven. (Sniff) Oh yeah, I don't own frivilous lawsuits either, but I'll bet I could have made tons of money if I copywrited them before those people started abusing the legal system.

Chapter 3 of Genobee's Minor Adjustment:

Genobee in the Big City

OR – Why the hell are Evangelion characters in here?!?!

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"Sir, we've just discovered a problem with the test subject." The second surgeon, looking like he'd seen a ghost, well, several actually, said to one of the crest operators.

"What is it now? We've had enough trouble with the combat troops splitting off from the headquarters... what could possibly be so horrible that it needs-- wait a minute... there's a problem with the test subject?!?! SHOW ME RIGHT NOW!!"

The second surgeon walked over to the computer in the middle of the room. "Well, when I started testing his mental readings against classical music for no particular reason, I discovered this." As 'Ode to Joy' played, the waves on the graph grew bigger and bigger until one part of them went completley flat.

"I see..." The operator said gravely, "and just what does this mean?"

The second surgeon looked around the room carefully, then leaned over to the operator and whispered something into her ear. The woman flinched, then all the color drained from her face. "You don't say..." she said in a hushed voice, then laughed weakly. "Well, let's think about it, what are the chances that he'll ever end up listening to ode to joy?"

The second surgeon shrugged. "Well... slim to none I'd say, but--"

"But nothing. Those are good enough odds for me. C'mon, let's go get a drink. I really need one after all of this bullshit with the military divisions." The operator threw her arm around the surgeon's shoulders despite his protests, and she practically dragged him out to the bar.

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"Well, it seems that you've suffered 60 hearing loss in the right ear, and 50 in the left."

Raven scoweled as he heard the report. After being subjected to a battery of tests, they locked him in a soundproof room and forced him to raise his hand whenever he heard a bleeping sound over a pair of headphones. Despite the fact that he had raised his hands many times, it seems that he had missed some of them. Damn you Genobee... The man thought darkly. First you rob me of my hearing... and then you... wait, nevermind. Anyways, I hope your spoons get stolen you bastard.

"ds." The doctor finished his droning rant, and Raven snapped out of his trancelike state.

"What was that again?"

The doctor shot him a condescending look, which caused Raven to glare at him and grind his teeth. Looking to all the world like a royal stuffed animal, the doctor started droning again. "The damage to your hearing requires two hearing aids."

"Well gursh." Raven said acidly. "How much is it going to be?"

"About... 200,000 credits."

"WHAT!?!?" Raven exploded, jumping to his feet. "EVEN THE BEST FUCKING CORES FOR AN AC COST LESS THAN THAT!!!" He snarled in the doctor's face, and the man paled visibly.

"I-I-I-I-'m s-s-s-s-sure we can w-w-w-ork out an arrangem-m-ment-t-t-t." He stammered, the droning voice long gone. Raven just growled.

"How about this?" His voice dripped with acid again. "You give me them, and I'll let you live."

The doctor shook his head. "Even if it means my life, that is too high of a cost to ask of me. I can't give you those for free, think of all the money I had to spend for medical school!"

"Fine fine. I'll give you 10 dollars for 'em."

"10 DOLLARS!?" The doctor's face drained completley. "But... dollars are priceless in this day and age! How did you manage to come by TEN of them?!"

"Mmmmm..." Raven smiled mysteriously. "I have my ways. Now, when can I get those hearing aids?"

"I'll have them ready for you in ten minutes!" The doctor dashed off frantically, his greedy heart thumping at the thought of 10 whole dollars being his.

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"Wow!" Raven marveled. "I can actually hear again! Even though these things are a bit uncomfortable..."

"Wear them for a week, and you'll barely know they're there!" The doctor said triumphantly. "Now, can I have that 10 dollars now?" He tried to give Raven the puppy dog eyes, but the fact that he was old and bald made it look disgusting rather than appealing and cute. Raven closed his eyes and turned his head. "Not yet, let's get all this crap done first."

"Fine fine..." The doctor grumbled, and Raven filled out all the required forms.

"Alright." He stated, signing the last one. "Here's your 10 dollars."

"Oh goody goody goody!" The doctor clapped his hands together like a small, greedy child as Raven handed him the 10 dollars.

"Later." The man walked out the door, leaving a very excited doctor in his wake.

"Wowweeeeee!! 10 WHOLE DOLLARS!!! MINE!!!!" The doctor jumped for joy, holding the note in his hand. It was just then that he noticed that it felt odd. He rubbed it in his hands experimentally, then brought it closer to his face, confirming his deepest fear.

The 10 dollar bill was a counterfiet.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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Raven winced at the piercing cry, uttering a silent prayer for those near the building as the glass shattered under the stress of the doctor's wail.

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"Hahahahahahahaha!" Genobee blasted aside a Mirage MT, the hapless unit exploding under the stress from the grenade colliding with its generator. "I R GDO U CANNTO SPOT ME!!" He shouted, the laserblade on his left arm taking care of another MT.

Ever since Mirage had tried to invade Bayload City after Crest had taken it from Navis, Crest MTs, helped by Genobee, had been fighting a losing battle against the overwhelming waves of Mirage MTs. Only two crest MTs and Genobee were left to combat the waves of Mirage fighters still coming into the city.

One of the crest MTs fell under a hail of gunfire, the pilot screaming as his life was cruelly cut short in the corporate warfare.

"Damn you Mirage! I shall have my revenge!" Genobee screamed as he plunged his laserblade into the cockpit of another MT. The MT right behind it met its end at the hands of Genobee's rifle, the rapid-fire weapon pounding the weak machine into scrap. "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" He screamed at the rest of the assembled Mirage MTs. "I SHALL KILL YOU FOR MOTHER RUSSIA!!!!!"

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Raven's cell phone rang, and the pilot jumped in surprise, swearing loudly as hot coffee spilled all over his pants. "Damn McDonalds! I'm SO suing them for this after I get done with whatever this caller wants!" He quickly picked up the cell phone and pressed the 'on' button, getting rewarded with a blip as the piece of machinery activated. "Hello?" He tried to keep his voice as pleasant as possible, despite the searing hot coffee on his pants and legs. "What? I see... I'll get to it right away."

Coffee and suing McDonalds long forgotten, Raven jammed his foot down on the gas pedal, sending his car speeding off towards a distant destination.

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Genobee laughed joyously as another MT exploded from the grenade launcher's fury. "Hahahahahahahaha! DIE DIE DIE!!!" Genobee screamed as one MT after the other fell to his ultra-cheap weapons. As their numbers dwindled further, the Mirage fighters fled over the hill.

"HA! Cowards!" He crowed after them.

"AC IHateDualFace identified."

Genobee looked oddly at his computer, hoping that it was malfunctioning. His hopes were wiped out like a costal village against a tsunami as an AC trooped over the hill, looking as battle-ready as ACs can get.

"Beat me if you can!" Genobee taunted, shooting a grenade launcher, then jumping behind a building. He flipped on his battle music, which was 'push the little dasies' by Ween. Remembering the earlier tactic he had used against the two ravens that bothered him, he flipped his comm so that it was transmitting to the other AC. He was rewarded by a scream of agony, and smiled.

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Raven screamed in agony as the music that had cost him 55 of his hearing flooded his cockpit. Then he remembered that his hearing aids could be turned off. Reaching up, he did exactly that, leaving them in his ear to act as earplugs.

"La la la... I can't hear you." He laughed, then pulled a music trick of his own. Reaching up to the built in CD player of the AC, he turned on Cradle of Filth's "Cthulhu Dawn", headbanging as the death metal filled his cockpit. He too flipped the switch that moved his music to an open channel, and smiled as he could dimly hear Genobee's scream of agony.

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Genobee screamed in agony as the death metal flooded his cockpit. Oh my god that music is horrible! So fast... so heavy... so depressing!!!

"Damn you Raven!!" He yelled. "At least we know our music is equal! Come out and fight me like a man!" Genobee flipped off his music, sighing in relief as Raven did the same. Both middleweight ACs stalked out into the middle of the street, their weapons at the ready. Genobee flipped a grenade launcher over his shoulder and launched a blazing fireball at Raven, who's AC simply boosted to the right to avoid the massive weapon.

Raven laughed and shot a grenade blast of his own back at Genobee, who couldn't dodge in time. The blast struck Dual Face in the core, sending the black AC soaring backwards and crashing into a building. Genobee swore as he bit his tongue, spitting out blood in contempt. "You'll never beat me!" He snarled, wrestling his AC out of the wrecked building.

IhateDualFace jumped backwards, unleashing another grenade shot, which Genobee easily dodged. The white AC opposing Dual Face unleashed a volley of missiles, only two of which his Dual Face. Genobee laughed and launched his AC forward, going for the blade charge tactic.

Raven stepped his AC aside and whirled around as Genobee's AC boosted past him, unloading a series of rifle bullets into Dual Face's side. The impact of the attack caused the black AC to lose its balance and topple to the ground, yet it rose again quickly despite multiple rifle attacks. Both machines pointed their rifles at each other and readied for another round of fighting.

"AC Unit 02 Identified." Both AC's computers sang tonelessly at the same time.

Both fighters looked at the new contact on their radar with baffled looks in their eyes. "What the hell?"

"GENOBEE!!" The pilot of Unit 02's voice roared over the comm, causing both Ravens to wince. "You owe me a lot of child support!" Both of the other ravens identified the voice as belonging to a female as the red AC stomped forward, going straight for Dual Face.

"I knew I should have stayed with Shinji! But nooooo, I had to break up with him for you! And then you..." The female growled as the red AC smashed Dual Face backwards, then flipped it over and grabbed it by the scruff of the neck. "Nevermind... I'll have my revenge on you yet..." she ranted as Unit 02 walked off, Dual Face firmly clenched in its fist.

"I'm a mercenary..." Genobee sniffled as his AC was dragged off by the raging Unit 02. "I'm used to betrayal..."

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Two people with blue hair stood outside of Bayload City. One was an older man, and the other was a younger woman. The man's hair was almost navy blue, while the girl's hair was of a lighter variety, closer to the color of the sky.

"What do you suppose her problem is?" The man's voice deadpanned as he looked at the woman.

"I do not know." The woman spoke quietly, shrugging as she talked.

"Well, I guess we'd better call Shinji. He's been worried sick about her for three days."

"Shinji will be fine. Asuka will return to him."

"True. There she is now." Both the man and woman watched the Black AC being dragged away by the red one. "I'm going to call Shinji now... He'll be glad to hear that his wife is safe." The phone accidentally slipped out of the man's grasp, and the woman bent to pick it up. "Thanks Rei."

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Raven's AC stood firmly rooted to the spot, its pilot rather stunned by the turn of events. As he thought about what just transpired in front of him, a thought suddenly hit him.

Oh yeah. I forgot to sue Mcdonalds.

To the Readers:

BloodyKitsune - I should give you another medal. I swear, you've reviewed my stuff so much I could faint or something. No, that's not a bad thing! I'm a review addict, so keep them coming! (Coughcough)

Mr. Zeeky - I know who you are, and I know where you live. WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! (Thanks for the review buddy)