Dumbledore's Army

Penance

A pair of blue eyes peeked out under a once bright orange hat, now faded from years of faithful wearing. The brim of the hat bowed down to the table at which the wearer sat, hiding the face from view as a pair of laughing children-well, a boy and a girl who couldn't have been more than thirteen, ran past.

For a second, just for a second, he had thought of those he'd once been inseparable with.

And for a brief second, he'd been afraid that those he'd lost would recognize him.

Ronald Weasley had never been one to hide. Especially not in the last four years, since his graduation, and the fall of Voldemort.

But some things were too painful even for the Ministry of Magic's top Auror to face.

Well, ex-Auror. It was time to retire.

He'd turned in his resignation shortly after being awarded the Order of Merlin, First class for bringing in the last of the Death Eaters, Lucius and Draco Malfoy.

Four years he had been searching for them.

It had been the only thing that had kept him going after he'd lost contact with the two best friends he'd ever had.

His eyes continued to follow the children who were thankfully oblivious to the dark power that had risen and fallen just a few years ago.

If he squinted, the boy's dark wild hair and scrawny figure bore an eerie resemblance to Harry.

He sighed audibly as his mind took him back to the last few minutes with his best friend.

*****

The battle had just 'ended.' They had managed to fight the Death Eaters back after they had recovered from the spell that the entire school had used, and those who hadn't been knocked out by some curse or another had suddenly stopped.

It had to do with Harry. With whatever was going on there.

Ron still shuddered at the memory of the fear he'd felt that night. Knowing what his best friend had to face, knowing that it could go either way, and feeling helpless to tip the scales for Harry, to do something to even the odds.

As the last of the Death Eaters fell away, Ron turned and hurried out of the Great Hall, staggering up the stairway to Dumbledore's Office as best he could. One of his arms was flopping uselessly at his side, much like Harry's had after being 'treated' by Lockhart years and years ago. The other was tightly clutching his wand, tightly enough to stress the wood, but Ron didn't even notice. He didn't even notice that Hermione and Ginny and Neville were still below, covering him from the base of the stairs.

"Harry? Harry!" he yelled, freezing for a moment when he saw the two still figures in Dumbledore's office. "Harry?" he repeated.

Harry looked up at Ron, then pushed himself up using the sword. The two boys stared at each other for a moment.

"Harry?" Ron asked again. He was alive and okay - no, not okay.
Definitely not okay.

Harry gave Ron another look, opened his mouth as if to say something, and then just shook his head. "Goodbye. Tell Hermione - tell Ginny - goodbye, okay?" he asked.

"What - wait!" Ron yelped, realizing too late what Harry had in mind. Dumbledore was dead and half the spells he'd put up around Hogwarts had died with him. Protective spells, including the ones that stopped people from disapparating -

And with a pop, Harry was gone.

Ron sank down, uncomfortably close to Voldemort's very dead body, and waited blankly for the others to come, waited for Harry to come back.

Waited for it all to have the happy ending it should have had.

*****

He supposed, from a certain viewpoint, the ending had been happy. They had lived. Not all of them, but those in the Inner Circle, the ones he considered family, had lived.

They had defeated the Dark Wizard, and he had gone on to become an Auror, a much-respected position in the wizarding world.

He had even excelled at it.

But he had lost everything that had mattered to him. Had watched each of those he loved suffer great loss, and compared to that, the rest meant nothing.

The fact that he had just caught the most notorious-not to mention elusive- former Death Eaters, and the only ones left alive and un-punished was a small consolation.

The fact that he had been interested-no, make that obsessed- with catching the pair for the last four years should have filled the hole in his life. He had achieved the only thing he'd worked this hard at.

But, still, it was merely a small consolation.

His eyes moved over to the girl accompanying the Harry lookalike-who, really, on closer inspection, looked very little like Harry.

The boy's female companion had long, blonde hair-straight and shiny.

Nothing like Hermione's whatsoever.

But still, as it had too many times over the last four years, his mind turned to his other best friend.

*****

"Shh, she's coming," he hissed desperately at Harry, and his wild-haired best friend quickly clamped his mouth shut, the look on his face clearly betraying the laughter he was biting back.

Ron shot him a dirty look as Hermione appeared through the portrait hole.

"You do realize that it's only two weeks away, mate?" Harry asked in an undertone as Hermione made a beeline for them, her homework planner and three books in hand.

Her planner was just like theirs, but did not have to admonish her not to procrastinate, as she never did. It just wasn't in her nature to put anything off-something that both exasperated him to no end and that he found irresistibly adorable.

"What's two weeks away?" Hermione asked absentmindedly, juggling the books as she attempted to settle down at the table. "The exams are next week. Or are you talking about the winter solstice? Because, remember, I'm enchanting the Guardian Amulets three days after the Winter Solstice, as the spell calls for.

Ron stared at Hermione, his mouth hanging slightly open. How was it that he was so nervous at the very prospect of asking her, and she seemed to have no idea that Hogwarts was even having a Yule Ball this year?

"No, actually," Harry began, glancing sideways at Ron, who shot him a glare. But that wasn't enough to stop him. "Actually," Harry continued, pointedly avoiding Ron's eyes now, "We were discussing the Yule Ball. Ron's…"

"Been asked by Susan Bones just now," Ron cut in. "And Harry's asked… my sister, oddly enough," he glared at Harry. Two could play at this game.

Of course, Harry and Ginny deciding to go to the ball together was old news already.

Ron wasn't sure whether to be relieved that his sister was going on a date with his best friend, or angry that his best friend was going on a date with his sister.

Mostly, he wasn't angry, but it would distract Harry enough so that he wouldn't up and tell Hermione that he was considering asking her.

In fact, he was already losing his nerve. Maybe he didn't have to go to the ball at all… Maybe she already had a date.

Krum certainly would have asked her by this time, in fact.

He made a grimace at that thought. Viktor Krum had shown up at the school earlier in the year to take over Flying lessons for Madam Hooch, who had disappeared 'mysteriously' over the summer. No doubt this was part of Dumbledore's strategic placing of Order members at the school. It seemed that a few members of the Order had found reason to come to the school, whether it was for a job that had been 'created' or for other reasons. And so Krum was just one of the many who were, he assumed, there for their protection.

And he'd been hanging around Hermione ever since.

"Ron?" Hermione's voice broke through his thoughts.

He looked up from his quill, which he had been crushing with his hand. Setting the quill down, he quickly hid his ink-stained hand and met her eyes.

"What's that?" he asked quickly, trying to brush away the annoyance that he'd been feeling about Krum.

"I said good that Susan Bones doesn't seem to fit your definition of 'troll.'" Ron frowned, confused at the expression on Hermione's face, and the coldness in her voice.

"But…" he began, opening his mouth to tell her that he had turned Susan down.

But she had already pushed away from the table.

"I just remembered, I have somewhere to be," she said, her expression unreadable.

"But you just got here!" Ron protested, standing up, and trailing after her as she exited the common room.

"Hermione, wait," he said finally, catching her arm as they reached the hallway.

She turned to face him, and again he attempted to read her expression, but again, as always, she was being confusing. "What is it, Ron?" she asked quietly.

He pulled his hand back, suddenly realizing that now he had to do it. Running a hand through his hair nervously, he stared at her for a second.

"I… Well, I was just wondering… who are you going to the ball with?"

She stared at him for a minute, eyes widening.

Oh, now I've done it, he thought miserably. I've let her know that I want to ask her, and she wants to say no, but doesn't know how to let me down easy.

He glanced down at the floor, wondering if there was any way he could bewitch it to swallow him whole.

"I'm not," Hermione's voice came at last.

But that wasn't the answers he'd been expecting. His head snapped up in surprise.

"You're… not-what?" he asked, frowning.

"I'm not going. In case you've forgotten, I've agreed to bewitch all those amulets for the D.A. and anyone else who will take one. And the spell has to be done three days after the Winter Solstice. I'd actually thought you and Harry would be more keen to help. But at least Viktor's agreed to-"

"Vicky?" So that was why she couldn't go with him. He felt his face, and even the tips of his ears, heating up as he suddenly became very angry with himself for following her, and with her for not… well, for not clueing him in earlier that she wasn't interested.

"Don't call him that, Ron," she said in her best 'Head Girl' voice.

"But…" he started, only to be cut off by Hermione again.

"And besides, at least he realizes that there are some things more important than balls and Susan Bones!" she yelled, and then turned on her heel and stomped down the hallway, leaving Ron staring after her, shaking his head in confusion.

Harry's face appeared through the portrait hole, his expression one of sympathy.

"Why do I always shoot my bloody mouth off?" Ron asked angrily, squeezing past Harry. "And you… You encouraged me! Didn't you realize she'd rather spend the night with Vicky than me?"

"Ron…" Harry began, but Ron had already stormed up the boys' stairs.

Ron spent most of the next two weeks avoiding Harry, as well as avoiding Susan, who was trying to spend time with him now that he'd accepted her offer.

Well, he couldn't bloody well have told her no, could he? Then Hermione would think he'd been lying about being asked. Not to mention that if she was going to have a date, he was.

Even if deep down, he felt guilty for not being there to help her with the amulets.

But he wouldn't have been able to stomach Viktor's longing looks or his insistence on garbling her name. He couldn't even pronounce her name correctly! How could she like him?

In the present, Ron grimaced, remembering his own thickness. If only he'd known…

"You're not going to dance, are you?"

"What?" he looked up from the window that he'd parked himself at in the Great Hall, staring as if he could see through the trees to Hermione and Viktor and whatever they were doing.

"I was afraid of that. You'd dance if she was here," Susan continued.

"She who… what?" Ron asked, trying to hide the guilty blush that was creeping up his face.

"Hermione Granger. It's obvious, you know. Everyone in the DA has noticed it." Susan stood up, her face an unreadable mask. "Look… you should have just said that you didn't want to come with me."

"I…" Ron began in feeble protest.

"Never mind. Ernie Macmillan seems to be without a dance partner. I'll go keep him company. If I was you, I'd stop torturing myself and go find her," Susan said, turning on her heel and heading across the Great Hall.

Ron watched her, shaking his head.

"You don't have very good luck with these things, you know," a voice spoke up, infiltrating his thoughts.

His head snapped up so quickly that he felt as though it may come off. He did his best to keep his jaw from dropping as his eyes met with a pair of brown eyes.

"Hermione? Wha… Wait a minute, you said you weren't coming," he began hotly, taking in the dress and the hair and the carefully applied make-up… since when did Hermione wear make-up?

The last time she had, it'd been for that git, he thought angrily.

"Yeah, well, I wasn't. In fact, I can't stay long. Viktor's covering for me with the enchantments. But I had to…" her face darkened, changing to that look she got whenever he insulted 'SPEW.' "Why didn't you tell me you wanted to go with me?" she finally spat out, frustrated. "Instead of going on about Susan Bones…"

"I… wait… what?" Ron stammered, blushing furiously as she confronted him with the only thing he'd hoped they would never have to talk about.

It was bad enough that he had to have feelings for her when she was so obviously uninterested, but now… what-was she trying to humiliate him?

"Ron," Hermione's voice became more insistent, and more annoyed. "Harry told me," she admitted.

"Harry… told… you…" Ron began, already picturing all the ways with which he were going to get back at Harry.

Hermione glanced down at her dress, and then met his eyes. "It took me three hours to get ready. Aren't you going to ask me to dance?"

His jaw really did drop this time. He promptly closed it, eyes searching her face for some explanation. She merely smiled encouragingly at him.

A grin slowly spread across his face as he realized what she was getting at. He stood up and took her hand.

"And I supposed you'd hex me if I didn't," he said softly.

It was Hermione's turn to blush as he began to lead her out onto the dance floor. "Maybe," she said quietly.

"Well then, will you dance with me, Hermione Granger?"

"Yes," she said with a small, relieved laugh, putting her arms around him and leaning into him as they began to sway to a slower tune.

They dance to the next three or four songs-he wasn't sure how many, just that she was there and it was… nice.

"Ron?"

"Hm?"

She pulled away from him slightly, biting her lip. "I should probably get back. The most difficult portion needs to be performed at midnight, and it's almost…"

"I'll come with you." He said quickly.

She looked surprised, but shook her head. "No, it's all right, Ron. We can handle it. You should enjoy the rest of your night. Besides, I don't think it would be very nice of you to desert Susan."

Ron glanced over across the hall, where Susan was currently hanging onto Ernie, the two swaying in time to the music, then glanced back to Hermione, a bemused smile on his face. "I think Susan will be just fine. Besides, she left me. You saw that. Not to mention that I'm not going to leave you alone in the woods with Vick-Viktor."

Hermione looked for a second as if she expected a row to start up, but then realized he was teasing. "Well… all right then," she said softly, taking his hand and leading him outside.

As they reached the garden, which had again been transfigured into a twinkling display of rose bushes and fairy lights, Ron tugged gently at her hand.

"Wait."

She turned to him, eyebrows raised. "What is it?"

A hand nervously went to smooth back his hair, and he fought the desire to lick his lips, which had gone very dry suddenly.

"I… I'm glad you came."

"Me too."

And then she had come closer-or perhaps he had moved closer. To this day, he wasn't sure which. The only thing he was sure of was that it was much more than nice and he would have given anything to stay in that moment forever.

Especially given what came next.

After a long moment, they broke apart reluctantly, still holding hands.

"Well, we should…" Hermione began, peering up at him.

"Yeah." Ron consented, trying to hide his disappointment as she led him towards the forest. "Are you sure it's a good idea to go in there?" he asked. The forest's inhabitants weren't exactly friendly, and had only grown more unfriendly given the events that had happened in the last few years.

"We're only a short ways in, and I've drawn a circle of protection around the area. As long as we're inside that, we'll be fine."

"Okay," Ron murmured, his voice automatically taking on a hush as they entered the forest. They weren't under her protection spell yet, and he wasn't keen to meet up with any of the beasts that he knew lived in there.

"Wait," Hermione whispered, coming to a stop after they had been walking a few minutes. "Do you hear…"

She trailed off as the gentle rustling that had caused her to stop suddenly grew very loud, and the sounds of trees and brush being pushed aside echoed through the forest.

Ron's eyes fell on Viktor, who spotted them at the same time, his eyes widening as he too seemed to hear the sounds.

"Tarantallegra!" a voice cried, and a jet of green light flew at Viktor.

"Viktor!" Hermione screamed, but the jet of light merely seemed to switch direction mid-air and the perpetrator of the hex began to wobble all over as his legs started to move of their own accord.

"It worked," Hermione breathed, now squeezing Ron's hand so tight that he was sure she was going to crush it.

"You mean there was a chance it wouldn't?" Ron squeaked, but already he was on the move towards Viktor and the safety of Hermione's protection spell.

As they neared the circle of protection, Ron tried to pull Hermione closer, but Viktor's attackers had already heard them, and one of them swung towards her, aiming his wand at her.

"Filthy mudblood," the Death Eater murmured, raising his wand. "Avada…" For an instant, Ron had a spark of recognition as Lucius' Malfoy's face was lit by the green light from the wand.

"Herm-o-ninny!" Viktor's voice was the last thing Ron heard as he was shoved out of the way, and a terrible green light filled the air.

"Stupefy!" came Hermione's voice, and then there was silence, save for a few stifled cries.

Ron sat up, still in shock from all that had happened. He blinked, focusing on the two figures on the grass, feeling a small flare of jealousy as he made out the lines of Hermione holding onto Viktor.

And then it all clicked.

"Merlin," he whispered, and was on his feet in a minute, peeling her off Viktor's body. "We need to go see Dumbledore," he whispered, wondering why she was shaking. And then, on second thought, wondering why he wasn't. "Come on, Herm," he whispered, leading her away. For her part, she didn't argue, didn't say anything really.

*****

In the present, Ronald Weasley swiped at a stray tear as he trained his mind to concentrate on the here and now again, as he reminded himself that the two children laughing and shrieking were not in danger, had no idea what it was like to live in a society where life was uncertain-where loved ones could disappear without any warning.

Hermione had avoided him after what had happened with Viktor. He didn't blame her. When it came down to it, Viktor had given his life for her when he hadn't. He'd wondered on occasion if she wished that he'd been the one to sacrifice his life instead. Wondered if maybe that was the real reason she didn't seem to want to be around him anymore.

He tried to make up for it. After graduation, after Voldemort's defeat, he'd signed up to become an Auror. The only thing that had sustained him through the long months without contact from anyone had been the thought of finding Lucius Malfoy and bringing him to justice.

The only thing he could think of to make up for what he'd let her lose that night.

Of course, now he'd done that. And it didn't make up for it. She was nowhere to be found, and instead, he sat in Hogsmeade alone, with nothing left to work towards.