Alright well you are probably wondering why this is in my file.. well, I am starla17 and the rest of my works can be found at but since I have lost my login info :(( I cannot add chapter 2 to this crazy story there. Therefore its now here and you should review it gratuitously

thanks :) enjoy

A NEW PAIR OF SOCKS

Chapter One

p.s. thanks for all the reviews!! You people are awesome

It was a beautiful summer morning, 40 more days until Harry returned to Hogwarts. Maybe Harry should have been happy as the sun streamed through his window on him. But, surprisingly, he was not. No, he was somewhere in between total and complete depression, and moderate contentness. He was asleep.

"HARRY!" Vernon spewed in Harry's face at 4:52 a.m. He ripped the blankets off of his bed and held him by his collar. "HAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRY!" Harry swore that Vernon's face was turning a new shade of green. He cleared his gargantuan throat, a long process taking 5 minutes, and said, "We're going to get Dudley a new pair of socks."

Harry was boggled. His eyebrow twitched.

"And.. er.. uh.. This involves me because.."

"You're staying. Home. Alone." The veins on Vernon's face systematically popped, one at a time.

Harry remembered what had happened the last time he'd been at home alone. He'd escaped his room, and gone downstairs to get something to eat. He was feeling particularily hostile towards Dudley that morning, and felt an odd twinge as he reached for his sandwich. When he returned upstairs, Dudley's room was overflowing with various items of the pink persuasion. Pink balloons, pink walls, pink bedspreads, and even a fluffy pair of pink slippers that would not even fit Dobby. Even better, the TV had changed from a regular, hi-tech looking machine into a Barbie™ exclusive slumber party TV, with the exlusive Barbie™ slumber party cable attachment. All the channels showed Barbie's™ Exclusive Slumber Party Adventure In Which Barbie Saves the World and Takes Over the Minds of Young Children™. While Harry was pondering as to what a Barbie™ was, the Dursley's pulled up into their driveway. Dudley was certainly not impressed with the, er, renovations to his room. Vernon was furious, and naturally blamed it (as he blames everything else) on poor Harry. Harry was sentenced to 5 days of foodless existence, and a watching of Barbie's™ Exclusive Slumber Party Adventure, while wearing a pink feather boa, each night. Harry noticed, over the next 5 days, that Dudley actually seemed to like the room, and felt a little nauseated. And very amused.

Anyways, back to the current moment.. Vernon threw Harry violently back onto the bed and trudged off into the hallway, where he slammed Harry's door and began to drill a new padlock onto it.

Harry rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, but unfortunately, Harry is the world's greatest insomniac. He listened as the Dursley's drove off in their ugly little car, and off to buy some new Barbie™ socks for their Barbie™ son!

And Harry was plotting on how to get out of his room..