"Where do you come from, stranger?" his soft voice echoed in my ears.

"Where am I in the first place?" I asked, ignoring his previous question. He stood, speechless, for a moment.

"You're in Mirkwood, my lady."

Taking a risk at moving my neck, I turned my head to face him. To my relief, nothing cracked.

"Yeah, right." There was a notable pause. "You are crazy. And you'll have me believe that I fell on my bum three times today, to land in some kind of totally non-existing world from a book? With elves and trolls and big elephants with giant horns?"

He stood there, rather surprised at my sudden outburst. This kind of situation made me nervous, and by situation I mean being stuck in a place I don't know, with people I don't know, for a reason I don't know.

"This is so stupid ... is it a prank? The guys from college... and the one that looks just like Orlando Bloom! You guys wanted me to go nuts? Punish me for complaining about Val's obsession all the time? How did you do this? Why me?" I was sitting up now, shooting my questions one after the other, barely taking the time to breathe in between.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, taking his 'hey-look-at-me-I'm-an-elf' role too seriously.

I had to laugh. It was just too stupid to be true. I couldn't be in Middle-Earth. I just couldn't. It wasn't possible... how could it be possible? "Okay, alright. I stepped right into it. But now, I really want to go to a hospital for the head, and I could use a bath soon. So suck it up, and get me out of here."

His eyebrows shot up, and his jaw dropped slightly. He surely wasn't used to be talked to this way, it was obvious. Either that, or he hadn't understood half of what I said. "I beg your pardon, my lady?"

"Stop lady-ing me. It's not funny anymore. Get over it." I was getting annoyed. It was all about men; never knowing when to stop and move on. Meh.

I stopped for a moment, and my practical mind had to analyze the whole thing. Suddenly, it occurred to me that it wasn't a joke. Or rather, that it couldn't be a joke. My friends, or the friends of my friends, wouldn't have let anything happen to me, especially not a broken bone or a cracked skull.

I looked at Legolas, or at least at the guy who pretended to be Legolas, and sighed. Maybe it was possible, after all...

"So... you fell."

"No, I'm just dropping by! Of course I fell, you stupid."

I heard him sigh and he rolled his eyes. He wasn't used to attitude coming from a woman for sure. And after I calmed down, he tried to assemble the facts, but only ended up with two things: one, I'm from another world; two, I'm insane. The first statement was pretty obvious, while the other owned him a black glare.

I jumped up on my feet, my head getting better with every passing minute, and waited as he eyed lazily my body from head to toe. I might not have been the most self-proud person in the world, but to have him check up every inch of my body made me feel rather uncomfortable.

"What?"

He kept on inspecting, and seemed to check up every stitch, every particle of dust of my clothing. I cocked an eyebrow at him, and he frowned in return.

"You really hope to be received into the King's chamber in those garments?"

"Honestly, no. But since you'll be right next to me, he won't have much of a choice, will he?" I shot back, smiling proudly to my poor confused self.

I mean, take my place. Figure you ended up in... um... let's say Yeti Land. What would you do (besides being chased by an avalanche or an angry Yeti and possibly being eaten)? Well, it's not the best of all examples, but you probably get my point. The kicker is, you'd be lost, uncomfortable and disoriented. And to add to my current disorientation, I had to follow Legolas through that maze of a palace he lives in.

When he knocked on a remarkably high and imposing maple wood door, I felt a pang of excitement in the bottom of my stomach. Not knowing why, I quickly chased it away and proceeded to scan the surroundings. It pretty much looked like a hallway, though not really decorated. To my left and right, two different paths and several ranks of doors. Behind me, a double door, yet this one was not just big: it was huge. The wooden frame was carved with delicate and curved patterns, sometimes with a bird or a forest animal. Both doors were wide open, and from the foliage and dirt paths beyond it, I could tell it was the main entrance door.

While I was admiring the sculptor's work, I didn't notice Legolas entering the royal chamber. I felt a light tugging on my arm, and the next second Legolas had pulled me into the room. It was kind of dark despite windows and candles, except for where a throne stood. And sitting on this throne, anyone could have guessed that there was a king. But at the moment, there wasn't any. In fact, the king was standing next to a window, gazing through it and watching the running waters splash playfully on nearby rocks and patches of grass. It looked like fun.

"Well, what have you brought me this time, Legolas?" He asked, still watching the water drops.

He was tall, large and held himself like a king. His long gray hair, tied and braided, was topped by a thin crown of intertwined silver laces. With strong jaw and high cheekbones, he looked a bit like his son; only he had deep gray eyes that seemed to tell their own story. Despite his advanced age and stern allure, he laughed lightly when Legolas found himself out of words.

"Dude, if you think I'm one of those girls you bring home just for one night, you've got it wrong, to a point—" I pointed menacingly at the king with my index finger.

"Amy, please," Legolas cut me and lowered my hand before whispering in my ear, "he still is the King and you still are the intruder."

And I stood there, my half-opened mouth indicating that he was right. God, what kind of mess did I put myself in? Maybe he was cruel? Or a sadist? Maybe he had a no-pity policy?

I raised an eyebrow when the King himself simply laughed. I couldn't believe it. The King of Mirkwood himself was snickering at me.

"Fell?" The King said, slightly amused.

"Yeah... kinda. In fact, I was like sucked into this world... do you see what I mean?"

"Not at all." Father and son both replied.

Within minutes, we were all three sitting at a heavy wooden table and lively talking about... well about me. The King had come to the conclusion that I was some kind of time-traveler; only I wasn't traveling in time, but between worlds. He emitted the suggestion of seeing an expert, as to say Elrond or Galadriel. I objected firmly, saying that I was totally against travel in general and that due to the most probable non-advancement of the transports technology here in this retarded country, I absolutely refused to ride a horse. I also pointed out, quite knowingly, that there was something going on with the here-present leafy prince and therefore he couldn't leave.

"Something?" The King asked with a strong voice. "What thing?"

"Well... it's hard to explain. Something with a ring. A mean ring that belongs to a mean man

... spirit... thing."

"What is it, my child?" I nodded. "What ring?."

Child? I was being called child by some century-old elven fart? In my world, I would've given him seventy or seventy-five years old, but I had been told (by an elf-maniac living in the same apartment as me) that Elves did age, but slowly and instead of becoming a senile old dotard, they became wise.

I was dying to shoot something back, but the warning look in Legolas' eyes persuaded me to hold my tongue. But just this time.

But, wait a minute. They didn't know about the ring? Perhaps I had fallen into Middle-Earth before the war of the Ring described in the books, and therefore I was here to help the fellowship fight... I shook myself. It sounded like a bad Legolas fanfiction written some hormonal teen in great need of adventure and elves.

Grey eyes scanned me, and once again I felt so observed those people in the reality shows would feel alone in comparison. He threw me such an intrigued look I had to look at myself. After a quick inspection, I detected what was definitely wrong. Oh great. I have fallen into Middle-Earth with a hard rock T-shirt put on.

Minutes later, the King had almost kicked me out of his room with not much tact, may I say. I guess he just wasn't used to modern words like dude, car or even stupid forest. In the end, he looked just as confused as his son was when we first talked. Must be genetic, not understanding people who came from 21rst century Earth...