The screen blurred a bit, but now the picture became clear.
I almost yelped when I saw Lord Voldemort clad in Gryffindor robes, wearing large black-rimmed eyeglasses, with a thunderbolt sticker attached to his forehead.
"Hello!" he said in a forcefully high and cheery British accent. "I am Harry Potter! I am wonderful and sexy!" Then he pulled out two hand puppets of that freckled cutie, Ron Weasley and that bushy-haired Hermione Granger. "These are my friends! Today we will have a magnificent adventure! Come join us, you sexy audience, you!"
Yay! My lord called me sexy!
"I am Harry Potter!" he repeated. "And I have a lovely and mature body! Do you want to see my body, Ron?"
Lord Voldemort spoke for Puppet-Ron, "Oh yes, Harry! I would love to experience this... lovely experience!"
All of a sudden, John Mayer's song, "Your Body's a Wonderland" begins to play softly in the background.
"Dear, Harry! Give me the experience as well!" said Puppet-Hermione as she sexily swished her hair over her shoulder. Which... may I say, wasn't that sexy at all.
"Come my friends!" said Lord Voldemort/Harry. "And you shall experience the wonderful world of me."
The puppets began to slowly undress Lord Voldemort while he looked at the camera and winked ever so often.
My eyes hurt as they were glued to the screen. The puppets were doing obscene things to Lord Voldemort and he was "trying" to tell them to stop, "Ohh, stoooppp! I'm so sensitive!" And he would giggle. And it is quite scary to see the Dark Lord giggling like a schoolgirl.
Puppet-Ron laughed like a maniac, "I shall take advantage of you, Harry! Here I come!" the puppet lunged forward, "Rawwr!" While Puppet-Ron was "taking advantage", Puppet-Hermione was busy nibbling on Lord Voldemort's/Harry's nose.
The events that occurred right after scarred me for life. I am doing YOU a favor by not describing them in detail. Let's just say it involved some fuzzy handcuffs and super-glue.
I would like to say that this would have been a very pretty sight if it was in fact the real Harry. Or... if it was Lord Voldemort in his younger years. May I say that he was quite the fine baby.
I was not turned on in the slightest way. Not turned on at all.
I have to go and take a cold shower.