DISCLAIMER: The characters aren't mine but the story damn well is. So nyah nyah!
A memory of a darkened night...
That night, you saved me. You came upon me in my tent, hacking away at my wrist, trying to end my pain, trying to die. My long, thick sleeve was slipped away from my lower arms, revealing my secret... my torture... my hours of anger and misery locked away in this place. You're face drained of colour as your eye saw the lined and bleeding skin.
"Lu!" you said, "what... what are doing?"
Quick as a flash, I ran out of the hut, away from my shame, my heartache. I wanted to run away from it all, from Besaid, from the island, even from you. I tripped as I ran up the hill, and landed on my arm. The wound already there stung, painful as when the sharp knife had sliced through the tender skin... I lay crumpled on the ground, face down, unable to lift myself or even move.
"Please, leave me alone, Wakka," I whispered as I heard your familiar footsteps walking up the path. I heard your voice whisper, soft as the breeze;
"Lu... why?"
I was silent. Nothing was said for a few moments, but then I heard a slight sob... it wasn't from me. Your voice when you spoke was cracked and choked. I felt a drop of water fall on my cheek as my head lay sideways on the ground.
"Lu..." you whispered, "why didn't you tell me?" You lifted my sleeve and I felt another tear drop on my wounded skin. "Lulu..."
I could say nothing. I didn't want to be here, my pain revealed to the world... to you... but I couldn't bring myself to move. I just lay there as you knelt beside me and cried. I think you felt as much pain for me as I felt for myself. I remember that you stroked my hair as I lay there. There was so much comfort in that touch.
"Why didn't I realise... why didn't I know?" you whispered to yourself. A part of me wanted to sit up and hold you close, to stop your tears. But I was inanimate, a small, black-clad, dead being, unable to move of my own volition, only wanting some fiend to come along and kill me.
But, no, you would never let that happen. There was a rustle suddenly as you stood up. You wiped away your tears, then bent down to me.
"Lu... we gotta go, ya? There's fiends around," you said quietly. I made no response, no move in reply. You knew I was too weak to do anything by myself, so... you gently rolled me over onto my back and lifted me up in your arms. I made no effort to stop you. I let you carry me into the village, my face resting against your warm chest, your strong arms holding me so securely as you took me into your hut, closing the door with your foot so you didn't have to put me down. I remember your face as you laid me on your bed. I'll take care of you, it said, I'm so sorry if I ever hurt you... I'll never let you cry again... you gazed at me as my still, dead eyes looked at you in quiet wonder. My misery was bare before you, a sadness caused by death and horror, culminated in a mass of scars and fresh wounds reaching up my arms and across my body.
"You're still bleeding, Lu..." you whispered. It was true. The fresh, deep cuts were trickling thin streams of blood down onto the floor. You took a bandage from a bag, and wrapped it round my wrist ten times, securing it with a tight knot. You cleaned my hand with water from a bowl, didn't bother with the floor, but knelt beside me, your face close to mine, gazing into my eyes.
"Lu, please... talk to me."
I was silent.
"Lu..."
You kissed me.
"I love you."
I managed to whisper;
Are you just saying that... because of what I've done?"
Another kiss.
"No."
"I'm dead, Wakka."
Another kiss, your sad eyes dropping tears onto my skin, and your hand stroking my cheek, comforting and warm, so warm, the embodiment of the tenderness and love.
"Not any more, you're not."
You moved round to the other side of the bed and got in. At once I felt your strong arms around me, holding me close, warming me through and through, even reaching the cold ice that was my heart. You kissed my hair and buried your face in my neck. As I lay there, I knew what it was to be alive, and for the first time in a year, the smile that blossomed on my lips was real.
Two years on and I am still here. More than that, I'm married to you and pregnant with your child... and I am happy. You have given me a reason to live, to stay in this world, to keep my soul from fading away and joining the dead in the farplane. I never thanked for what you did that night, but I can say it now. Thankyou. Thankyou for making me live again, for making me smile and mean it- for making me realise that I loved you. Thankyou.