"Dawn in L.A." – chapter 3
Hey gang, thanks for your very kind reviews and extreme patience. I'm still having some trouble with the plotting so on this chapter I kind of let it take its own form. It's amazing how a fic can choose its own direction as stuff starts spewing out of the character's mouths and sometimes it twists and turns in ways you didn't anticipate.
Dawn sat across the table from Connor sipping her decaf mocha latte and watching his animated face as he enthused about soccer and his hopes for college life. He was so different from the melancholy boy who had visited last summer that she felt she didn't know him at all. It was amazing what a well-adjusted suburban life could do to change a person's disposition. She thought he was a lot more attractive with the sparkling eyes and easy grin than he had ever been in brooding mode. Plus a year's growth and muscle development had certainly added to the new and improved hunkier Connor package.
Yet, every now and then, when he frowned as he considered how to phrase something or concentrated on stirring just the right amount of sugar into his coffee, Dawn caught a glimpse of that familiar scowl. It sent a pang of regret and loss through her, and simultaneously made her feel guilty for playing Russian roulette with his memories by showing up in his new life.
"I've been talking for, like, the last half hour. You must be bored to death," he said. "Tell me more about yourself."
"What do you want to know?" she asked, mind scrambling as she tried to assemble the details of the backstory she had spun for herself.
"I don't know," he shrugged. "What do you like to do? You know, for fun? Any hobbies, sports, skills? What is Dawn Summers all about?"
Dawn racked her brain. It had been so long since she'd had time to have fun that she couldn't remember what she used to do and so she answered honestly. "Research. I know. It sounds ridiculously lame and nerdy, but I've really gotten into learning, uh, dead languages and deciphering ancient scrolls lately."
Connor looked taken aback. "Oh." He quickly recovered and offered a grin. "Just 'for fun' eh? Looks like you've got it all, brains AND beauty."
Dawn blushed at the compliment and laughed inside at what a player this alterna-Connor was. He favored her with a seductive look, eyes telegraphing his interest, tongue darting out to lick coffee from his stirring spoon. She couldn't think of a response and knew the kind of embarrassing crap that spilled from her mouth when she tried to wing it, so she kept silent.
"You know," Connor continued, dropping the flirtatious front and speaking seriously. "I don't know what it is about your face, but I feel so sure that I've met you before somewhere. And not because you look like my cousin's uncle's best friend either." He stared at her intently and Dawn squirmed.
She shrugged. "Well, I don't know what to tell you. I've never been here before. It's a cute town though," she added lamely, trying to change the subject. "Very ... clean."
"Translation - 'bland'," he said. "That's what I always thought, too." Connor frowned, thoughtfully and Dawn wondered what that meant. He shrugged and shook his head as though dismissing a memory.
"What?" Dawn asked, her interest piqued. "What happened?"
He looked up sharply. "Nothing."
Their eyes locked for a moment and Dawn could've sworn that there was some kind of secret message flying back and forth between them, which she couldn't decode. She instinctively knew that whatever she said next would mean the difference between casual conversation followed by a polite 'goodbye' and ... something more.
She paused, biting her bottom lip. "Did you see... Has something...." She sighed at her inability to express herself. "What I mean is, do you believe in ... things outside of what is generally considered 'normal'?"
"What? Like, sixth sense or alien abductions?" Connor teased. But despite his light tone, she read something eager in his voice.
"Yeah. Something like that."
Connor shrugged again. He looked around the crowded cafe, examining the other customers, the artwork on the walls, the furniture, the jukebox, before finally bringing his gaze back to her. His voice lowered confidentially. "If I tell you something ... really weird ... that happened to me a couple of weeks ago, do you promise not to back away slowly and run for help?"
Dawn nodded, leaning forward slightly.
He looked around again and shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "God, I can't believe I'm telling you this. You're going to think I'm...."
"Don't worry about it," she interrupted. "I'm very open minded and I've seen some things in my life that you wouldn't believe." To reassure him further she added quickly, "I told you I was from L.A. but before that I lived in Sunnydale." At his surprised look she said, "You've heard about it."
"Yeah. Who hasn't? The whole town went down in a sinkhole." He looked shocked. "You survived that?"
She nodded again. "So, anything you tell me won't make me blink an eye, trust me."
He nodded and drew a deep breath. "Okay. Well, a few weeks ago I was at a party at a friend's house. I took a walk on the beach by myself and there ... there was this girl on the beach. I talked to her for a little while and then we," he paused, blushing, "we kissed and then...." He trailed off, shaking his head and tapping his spoon on the table. "I can't even say it out loud. It's just too bizarre."
Dawn barely considered for a half second before she blurted out, "She tried to bite you?"
Connor's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. "How did ... how could you know?"
"And maybe her face changed," Dawn continued, raising a questioning eyebrow.
"Yes!" Connor drew it out with a sibilant ess, and she could hear the relief in his voice at finally sharing his experience with someone. "I didn't think...." He shook his head again, at a loss for words.
"Vampire," Dawn announced calmly. "Like they say about aliens, 'We are not alone.'"
Connor frowned, blinked his eyes, and looked around the crowded cafe again as if trying to anchor himself to reality. Finally he gathered his composure enough to form a question. "So you've had ... experience with this kind of thing?"
"You could say that." Dawn suddenly burst out laughing uncontrollably. She laughed until tears ran down her face and she had to gasp for breath, while Connor and pretty much everyone in the cafe stared at her. "I-I'm sorry," she choked out, wiping her tears away and fanning her face with one hand. Her laughter subsided to an occasional snort as she tried to explain herself. "I've had a very ... unusual life. And what you said was kind of like the understatement of the year."
"You've seen these, um, beings?" Connor lowered his voice. "Like up close and personal?"
"Yes," Dawn confirmed. "It's all right, you can say 'vampires' without feeling like a dork. They do exist. So do various types of demons and a bunch of other monsters."
"How am I...? What am I supposed to do with this?" Connor asked, spreading his hands helplessly. "This is so surreal."
"I know, believe me," she assured. "You think you know what the world is like and then suddenly it gets turned upside down ... numerous times. I can tell you right now that you're better off accepting it and expecting things to get shaken up and rearranged again and again. Then you're not so shocked when it happens."
Connor frowned and stirred his spoon around his cup through the dregs of his coffee. "That Sunnydale disaster," he said finally, "it wasn't a sinkhole, was it?"
"No." Dawn was amazed by how relieved she was to be able to say it. Even though everyone in her immediate circle of friends already knew, it felt liberating to share the truth with an outsider.
"What really happened?" Connor asked curiously.
"Long story. Believe me you don't want to hear it all. The short version is that there was a huge battle and apocalypse was averted."
He nodded then asked, "So what are you? Some kind of Supergirl?"
"Naw. My sister is. There's a whole sort of team and I'm mostly on research duty. They trust me with the laptop."
"Wow." Connor subsided into silence, and Dawn began second guessing herself almost immediately. What had possessed her to tell him all this? She was seriously playing with fire, first by showing up here and then by informing him all about the evil side of the world – the part from which Angel had tried to save him. But she couldn't seem to stop herself. She felt almost compelled to shake Connor out of complacency and offer him the truth.
"Look, I have so many questions, but I, uh, need some time to process this," Connor said after a moment. "Can we... can we get out of here? Take a walk or a drive to the beach? I feel like I need to ... to just move."
Dawn nodded. "Sure." She had a sudden thought. "Do you, uh, want to be alone? Cause I could go back to my... motel room and...."
"Motel room? I thought you said you moved here."
"Well, that wasn't strictly true," Dawn hedged. "I still pretty much live in L.A."
"Why are you here then?" Connor sounded confused. Suddenly his eyes widened in the classic 'light bulb over the head' moment of understanding. "You knew about me before you came here. You came to find me!"
"Uh...." She shifted in her seat and looked intently at the empty sugar packets littering the table.
Connor let out a harsh bark of laughter. "So, is this the part where you tell me I have a destiny to fulfill and hand me the cape and tights?"
"Huh?"
"You didn't ask me how I got away," he explained. "From the ... the creature. I mean, you have to assume that if I'm sitting here I got away ... or that I was turned into one too."
"Well, duh, I've seen you out in the daylight so...." Dawn shrugged, still not meeting his eyes.
"Ask me how I got away." She could feel Connor staring at her intensely.
"Outrageous strength and a stake?" she asked in a small voice.
"I've never hit anyone so hard in my life," Connor said, almost to himself. "Actually, I've never hit anyone at all. But I punched that woman once and knocked her yards away and then I found myself doing all this gymnastic stuff I never... I mean, I play soccer! I've never had a tae kwon do class in my life. And then it was like instinct took over and I knew exactly what I had to do. Found a piece of driftwood and drove it into her chest." Dawn looked up finally and their eyes locked. "That's just not normal," Connor said.
When Dawn didn't respond, he continued, "I've been thinking about it ever since. Or actually, trying NOT to think about it. I wanted to pretend it never happened and go back to my regularly scheduled life, but...." His gaze was becoming so intense, Dawn felt as hot as if she'd been in a tanning bed too long. "It felt so ... RIGHT. Like I finally knew what I was supposed to do, you know?"
She nodded mutely.
"I've been thinking all summer about college and what classes I should take, what I want to study, what I want to become," he shook his head, "but when I was fighting that ... thing, I finally felt like I'd found my ... my purpose. For the first time I felt complete." His eyes narrowed as he frowned deeply. "God, what does that say about me? I'm a killer?"
"It's not the same," Dawn assured him. She put her hand on his forearm, which was resting on the table. "I mean, yeah it is killing, but there's justice behind it. You're fighting for Good."
"But ... am I supposed to enjoy it so much?" Connor asked, searching her eyes.
"You'd have to ask my sister that one. Researcher here, remember?" she said with a gentle smile.
There was another brief silence then Dawn asked, "You want to take that walk now?"
They left the cafe and crossed the street to the park. A hint of sunset was still blushing the sky in the west while the moon shone above them almost as bright as day. It wasn't quite a full moon. Dawn was always aware of the status of the moon's cycle knowing how it affected paranormal activity.
She felt that she was beginning to know this park like her own backyard, if she had had a backyard anymore. She had spent enough time here today.
Connor pointed out a weatherbeaten bronze statue in the center of the park. "The founder of the town," he explained. "He's no Jebediah Springfield, just a businessman who invested in a lot of land and built quaint little town that made him obscenely wealthy."
"It is a perfect place," Dawn admitted, "but a little Stepford for my taste."
He smiled. They walked a while in silence, hands swinging by their sides and accidentally brushing together at one point. Connor frowned at the contact. "Why is this so familiar?" He looked at her from the corners of his eyes.
Dawn shrugged slightly and kept walking.
"You want to tell me the rest now?" he demanded.
"The ... what?"
"We didn't finish our conversation. Why were you looking for me? Why do I feel like I already know you? Why was I not all that surprised by everything you told me?"
Dawn pursed her lips, cleared her throat, took a deep breath and began. "Okay. You know 'Back to the Future'?"
He nodded, "Of course."
"Well, you know in number two how there were, like, two versions of reality because Marty had screwed up the space time continuum? So there was the regular, happy, normal version of his life and then that alternate world where Biff was a crime lord or something and everything was in chaos? Did you ever wonder what happened to the Marty who had lived through the wrong version? Or what happened to the wrong version after Marty corrected it? It couldn't just disappear. It existed. It had been created and had to go on somewhere in the cosmos don't you think?"
"I suppose." Connor jammed his hands in his jeans pockets and hunched his shoulders a bit as he walked. "I don't think I like where this is going."
"Well actually," Dawn said, frowning, "it's a crappy analogy and it doesn't really apply at all. Let me start again. Say you were a father and you found your son after he had been kidnapped, but the kidnapper had really warped your child and raised him in a ... really bad environment, and then no matter who much you tried to make things better for the kid they just got worse, until the kid was depressed and practically suicidal. Then suppose you were given a chance to fix it, to create a life, a perfect life with a wonderful, caring family and all new memories for that child? Would you do it?"
"No," Connor answered promptly. "It would be a lie. Like Schwartzenegar in 'Total Recall'. The truth is always better even if it's painful."
He stopped walking and so did Dawn. He stared at her, mouth slightly open. "No," he said. "No way."
Dawn nodded, offering him a rueful smile. "Way."
"I don't believe it," Connor snapped, his trademark glower settling over his face like a mantle of darkness. "That's bullshit."
He looked exactly like the angry boy she had met last summer and realization of what she was doing suddenly broke over Dawn. What had possessed her to think she had any right, any business messing around with Connor's manufactured life? Since she had begun talking to him this evening it was like she was possessed or under a truth spell. She couldn't NOT tell him. The words bubbled from her like she was some horrible truthtelling fountain.
"I'm sorry," she practically whispered.
"It's bullshit!" he repeated more vehemently. "Alternate universes? Made up memories? I don't believe any of it."
"I know," Dawn said sympathetically. "I mean, I really know." And she did. Exactly. She could empathize with everything he was feeling having gone through it herself, but to try to relate her similar circumstance on top of everything else was just too much to explain. She subsided into silence.
Connor started pacing a little, his hands out of his pockets now and fisted at either side of his body. "So, you're trying to tell me that my whole life is a fake? That my family isn't my family? And that YOU know all about my quote, unquote 'real' past?"
"Yes."
"Bullshit!" he thundered again. He stopped pacing and turned to face her, eyes narrowed in anger. "Why are you doing this? Who are you really and why are you here? What do you want?"
"I don't know," Dawn's voice trembled slightly and she was embarrassed to realize that her eyes were filling with tears. Damn womanly hormones that made you cry the moment you were pissed or upset! "I don't know why I'm telling you or what I expect you to do about it. I should have just left you alone. It was probably a big mistake."
"Damn right," he replied. "And all the rest of it, the ... the vampires and demons and superheroes. All bullshit. I don't know what I was thinking to.... It's not real. None of it. It can't be!"
He backed away from her. "I'm going home now, and I don't want to see you again. I don't want you to follow me or stake out my house or whatever else you've been doing. Just leave me alone. Get out of Pleasantville and don't come back!"
He began to stalk away from her when suddenly from the bushes on his right a huge, scaly figure with spines down the ridge of its back lunged at him.
To be continued....
A shorty chapter, yes. But I thought if I posted more often I could get back in the swing of this again. I definitely know what the end of this story will be but not exactly how I'm reaching it. Gentle readers, you're welcome to throw out any plot ideas or hopes and wishes you may have and if they resonate with me, I may use them in the story. Having fresh ideas may help jump start my sleepy muse.