Chapter 3: Dead Or Alive?
Ephram's mind transported him to a different place as he drifted further and further away from the present. He felt himself falling backwards into a deep gray abyss. He wasn't violently falling at all. It was more like gliding. There was no gravity in this time warp. His arms and legs were light as feathers and a strange force pulled him gently downward. There was no pain and suffering. Fear had been vanquished and his heart was no longer thumping madly against his chest cavity with anticipation. He was surprisingly calm. Ephram happened to look around and saw an abstract font of numbers and clocks appear magically out of nowhere. The figures twisted and contorted pass him making no sense. The second and hour hands of clocks spun indicating time in reverse. He saw pendulums of various styles and sizes ticking loudly as they approached and soften when they whizzed past him. Wooden hourglasses turned over and over as the grains emptied through the narrow opening. The chirping of cuckoo clocks sounded somewhere in the grayness. An enormous antique grandfather clock chimed as the arms of the clock's face stuck twelve. Years and dates ran backwards. Time changed rapidly taking Ephram back - back to a point in his life he'd long forgotten.
The air was bitter cold. He held onto his father's gloved hand as they walked down Fifth Avenue. Multicolored cable knit mittens protected his little hands from the jarring cold. The mittens were clipped onto the cuff of his flannel coat to prevent the losing of these precious articles of clothing. His long matching scarf was wrapped around his neck what appeared to be several thousand times with the ends tied securely into a knot. Occasionally pushing up the band of his matching knit hat that kept falling over his eyes, he let his father lead the way. A big pom pom on the top of his hat bounced up and down as he walked. Trying to keep up with his father's long strides, he often quickened his step into a skip. They came to a stop at the curb.
"Am I walking too fast?" His father asked while waiting for the 'walk' signal to appear so they could cross the street.
"Yes." The young boy answered looking up at his father's clean-shaven face. "You have longer legs than me."
"I'm sorry. I always seem to forget that. I'll try to walk slower. Ok?" His father smiled apologetically. The boy nodded.
"It's cold!!" The boy exclaimed.
"No, son. This is not cold. This is freezing!!" His father said. "But we'll warm up after we have something to eat. To our usual place sound good?"
"Mmm. Yea!" Cried the little boy in excitement. The light changed and his father took his hand again to walk across the street.
They finally reached East 59th street Central Park South. Braving the cold, a mass of satisfied weekend shoppers chattered merrily on their way with their purchases in tote. Kids flocked from one display window to the next like bees to flowers. Energetic adults burst into animation seeking sales and bargains at their favorite stores. It was the bustle of the city. The amount of yellow taxicabs multiplied by the dozens as they scoured the streets for new passengers. Traffic was backed up several blocks bumper to bumper. Father and son walked up to the hotdog stand where a stocky man in his late fifties was busy putting the finishing touches on hotdogs for a pair of hungry teenagers. Wearing an old black puffy down jacket and a tan hunter's hat on his head - Elmer Fudd style - the stocky fellow handed a warm Knish wrapped in foil to another customer. A huge dark green nylon umbrella advertising Poland Spring water shielded the cart from the weather. The scalloped valance made a 'thub' sound when the wind forced it to flap against the main umbrella.
"Well look who it is!" The stocky man said happily as he spun around to face his new customers. "Andy! Good ta see ya, doc. I thought you wouldn't make it out. It's frigid." He added with a thick New York accent.
"Hey Leo." Andy greeted. "Are you kidding? We haven't missed a Saturday yet."
"Is the Missus out on a date with your credit card again?" Leo joked.
"Yep. Who knew? All these years, she only married me for my credit cards. Haha." Andy laughed. "She didn't see anything she liked at Bloomingdale's so she went to Bergdorf Goodman, which will probably take her at least three hours. Julia always said a woman could never have enough designer handbags and designer shoes." He said adjusting his polar fleece winter hat. "So, here we are with plenty of time to kill."
"And what kind of mummy do we have here - all wrapped up?" Leo brought his attention to the obedient and reticent young boy by Andy's side. Leo stroked his bushy salt and pepper beard.
"It's Ephram!! See!" The boy pulled down his thick scarf to reveal a freckle-splashed face.
"Oh Ephram!! I didn't recognize you at all!!" Leo pretended to act surprised. "You got mighty taller since the last I saw you, Tiger." Stooping down to meet Ephram's height, he stuck out a hand for a handshake.
"Hi Leo!!" Ephram said showing a toothy grin. He extended his gloved hand and planted a firm handshake.
"That's some grip ya got there, Tiger. Say, how old are ya again?" Leo wowed.
"Same as last Saturday." Ephram chirped with gleaming greenish gray eyes that danced when he spoke. "I'm four." He answered proudly.
"Four, huh? You're practically a young man already." Leo said.
"Yep. I know how to tie my shoelaces all by myself and I can count to twenty." Ephram replied with pride.
"Really! Well then, you're all set!" Leo smiled as-a-matter-of-factly. "You've got a great kid, doc." He said as he got up to face Andy.
"Shorty, keeps me amused." Andy shrugged. "He's a handful but I love the knucklehead to death." He shook Ephram's well-insulated head playfully from side to side.
"Da-ad." Ephram chuckled.
"So what can I fix for you today?" Leo burst out as he clicked a pair of tongs together.
"Well?" Andy looked at his son for an answer.
"I want a hotdog with ketchup and - and mustard!!" Ephram exclaimed. "And a pretzel!!"
"You must be hungry today huh, Tiger?" Leo observed.
"Yea. I didn't really eat a lot of breakfast." Ephram replied.
"Uh, yes he did. He had a whole bowl of cereal." Andy corrected.
"Aw, but he's a growing boy." Leo justified with a grin.
"That he is, my friend. That he is. Make that two hotdogs and a pretzel." Andy said.
Ephram watched Leo attentively as he flipped open the steamer lid. A puff of moist steam rose and evaporated into the winter air. Leo assembled the first hotdog. With his tongue on the corner of his mouth, Ephram's wide eyes followed Leo's hand as he squirted ketchup and mustard on top of the hotdog.
This was how the Brown's spent their Saturdays lately. While Julia browsed the shops down Fifth Avenue, Andy and Ephram busied themselves with other activities. The three would meet up again for a late lunch and head home. Ever since Ephram was born, Andy had to be the one to baby-sit while Julia had her day of shopping. The endless hours of waiting were a drag for any man who hated shopping as much as Andy did. He killed time by pushing a sleeping baby Ephram all tucked comfortably in his stroller around block after block until he was going to die of boredom. One Saturday, he ventured all the way to the South entrance of Central Park, with baby Ephram in tow. He spotted a hotdog stand and decided to get a Knish. It was there that they met a friendly old man, who always had interesting stories to tell - if not about himself, then about all the odd balls he had seen coming and going at this location. With his newfound friend, Saturdays became fun again.
Leonard Stockwell was his name. He was known to most as just the guy who sells hotdogs. Those who knew him called him "Leo." He was a heavyset man of five feet eleven inches tall with a medium scruffy graying beard that reminded Ephram of a dirtier version of Santa Claus. Leo was fifty-six at the time and never shy of showing it. He'd been selling hotdogs on the corner of 59th and Fifth for five years. Rain or shine - he was always there to add to the New York ambiance by providing frankfurters and Knishes. Leo's past was a bit shady. But from what Andy gathered, though never digging too deep, Leo hailed from Philadelphia. He was drafted by dear old Uncle Sam into the army at the age of 19, put through quick basic training and shipped off to fight in the jungles of Vietnam.
Leo rarely expanded on the subject. When prompted by Andy on his experiences in the war, Leo summed things up by saying, "It was a traumatic moment in time I wish I could forget. But on occasion, it creeps up and haunts me when I least expect it, you know? This sort of stuff doesn't go away. No sir, it doesn't. It sticks with you until you die. Listen to me sonny, I've seen some horrible things in my lifetime - most of which you don't need to know. People gettin' killed and blown up to bits n pieces. They weren't just any people - they were people you knew - your friends. I've seen defenseless civilians in the villages - women and children - gunned down and slaughtered like animals by the VietCong. It leaves you numb and in the end all you really feel is pure anger. I was trained to kill and I can't tell you how many people I've killed mostly because after a while, you just lose track. And you come back to the States when you've served your year, hopin' that things'll go back to normal. But you know deep in your gut that things will never be the same - not with the things I've seen and done. It leaves you feeling empty. No one can understand what it was like unless they've been there. Nowadays, I try to put that part of my life behind me and live the rest of my life in peace. This hotdog stand may not be much but I've had my share of moments getting kicks out of seeing happy smiling faces. It's kinda like therapy for the soul. Hey, I've spent five years talkin' to a shrink. It's got to be worth its weight in gold."
And Andy never brought up the subject again.
The charred smell of warm salt dotted pretzels stacked neatly in a column against the side of the cart drifted into Andy's red numb nose opening his nasal passages. He watched his young boy's eagerness and felt his excitement. Andy couldn't help but laugh at Ephram standing on his tippy- toes craning his neck to see Leo at work. Kids are so easily amazed by the simplest of things.
"There ya go, Tiger. Now I gotta make one for your dad." Leo said handing Ephram the hotdog. The young boy held his food securely with both hands and watched the piping hot steam move upward from the hotdog. Ephram couldn't be happier.
"Add SauerKraut, onions, and relish too please." Andy interjected.
"Sure. You know, they say you can tell a lot about a person just by what they put on their hotdog." Leo mused as he fixed a big helping of the fermented cabbage onto a hotdog.
"Oh? Well, I like ketchup, mustard, SauerKraut, onions, and relish on mine. What does it say about me then?" Andy asked curiously.
"It says you are a very complex person. Having everything on your hotdog makes you anything but simple. You are the type who wants it all. Sometimes, you demand a little too much. But I don't think greed has anything to do with it. It's more like competition and ambition. You're always trying to top yourself that you forget the simpler things. You feel the need to exceed your goals. That's what they call giving it your 110%. Simple things in life aren't enough for you. Nope. Whether it's money or prestige, you want more of it. Then again, who doesn't?" Leo cracked a smile showing his crooked teeth.
"Wow, maybe you should give up the hotdog vending business and become a psychic." Andy joked.
"Fine, don't believe me. Ah but you're still young. In ten years or so you'll see what I mean. For an old man like me, I can tell." He winked.
"Ha!! And I thought I was eating SauerKraut because it was proven by the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry that SauerKraut prevents cancer growth, particularly colon, lung and liver cancers." Andy said knowledgably. "It's actually good for you."
"Tiger, why aren't you eating your hotdog yet?" Leo said to Ephram who was looking up at him with big greenish gray eyes. "Tiger" was a nickname Leo gave to Ephram because he always thought Ephram had eyes like a white Bengal Tiger.
"I'm waitin' for my dad." Ephram said. "We gonna eat together."
"Aw, you love your old pops, don't ya?" Leo said.
Ephram nodded with a wide innocent grin. It was the type of grin that could melt the coldest of hearts. Even though Ephram was only four years old, he had a tight bond with his father. He wanted to be just like him. He copied everything his father did - whether it was the way he folded his hands at the dinner table or his nasally laughed. Ephram saw his father as the perfect role model and the smartest man in the world. No one knew that in about 4 years, a year after Delia's birth, all that would change. Being a neurosurgeon took up all his time and home life took a backseat. His home was in the operating room. Late nights and even weekends were spent buried in work at the hospital. On the rare occasion that he did come "home", he was too tired to talk to his wife or play with his children. It was sort of like that old song "Cat in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin.
However, Andy managed to remember all the important dates and holidays like birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas. He purchased and sent gifts and cards for all those "important" dates but he never showed up in person at all. It was always the same excuse - work. To an older Ephram many years down the line, all those years of waiting by the door hoping his father would come home and be happy to see him were time spent in vain. Expensive gifts that were given to him to substitute for not being there were just objects. They lacked meaning. His father's negligence placed a scar on his heart. But to a younger Ephram, the bond between father and son was still holding strong. His father meant the world to him.
"OK folks, why don't you step into the dining area here and have a seat?" Leo humored and directed Andy and Ephram to a short brick wall that people often used to sit and take a load off their feet. Andy lifted little Ephram by the armpit of his flannel coat and sat him on top of the ledge. Leo then handed Andy a hotdog overflowing with condiments.
"Here's to time spent with Leo." Andy raised his food up for a toast.
"To Leo." Ephram said merrily and toasted by gently tapping their food together. He was about to take a bite out of the hotdog when Leo stopped him.
"Hold on there, Tiger. You might want to wipe your nose first." Leo said referring to a thick clear drop of mucus lingering its way down the boy's upper lip. Ephram tried to suck it back up. "I don't think that's gonna help. Here, try a tissue." Leo added and handed Ephram a tissue.
"Thanks." Ephram said taking the Kleenex and blew his little button nose.
"It's freezin' out here. Even the spit on the streets turned into ice. You don't want two icicles hangin' from your nose, now do ya Tiger?" Leo joked.
"No. I guess not." Ephram laughed at the thought of walking around with one slimy icicle sticking out of each nostril.
Hungrily, they gorged on their food not even coming up for a breath. Even Ephram was able to finish his hotdog - something he had never done before. He was happily munching away on his pretzel while listening to the conversation between his father and Leo. It seems the subjects bounced back and forth between sports and cars. Ephram supposed that's what all guys talked about, which was no problem for him because he could go on and on about his Matchbox cars and Tonka trucks as well as how good he was at playing kick ball. For now, he decided to remain quiet and focus his attention on food. With his feet barely touching the concrete, he dangled his legs over the short wall like Humpty Dumpty.
Ephram laughed at a couple of bungling gray pigeons cooing and dotting around in circles searching for a morsel of food that anyone might have dropped. The birds were round and appeared very well fed for New York pigeons. Ephram marveled at the sight of these preoccupied fine-feathered creatures with red beady eyes and matching sharp red claws. One of them even stopped its busy routine to blink quizzically at Ephram hoping he would find it in his heart to sacrifice a piece of food. Feeling sorry for the little critters, Ephram ripped a generous chunk of pretzel and tossed it at them. Upon seeing the food, about four or five of them flocked over and fought barbarically over the pretzel. They took turns pecking and flinging it around trying to fit any piece they can get into their tiny mouth holes. Ephram threw another piece at the birds. Watching them peck at each other and hovering their wings over the food greedily, he squealed with laughter.
"They look warm and comfortable, don't they?" Leo asked when he finally caught a break between customers. "Don't you wish you had feathers to keep ya warm?"
"Nah, my coat is fine. 'Sides, I'd look kinda silly if I grew feathers." Ephram said with another heartbreaker smile.
"Hmm, that WOULD look pretty silly." Leo rubbed his chin.
"Yea and what would mom say if one day I started growing feathers out of my skin. She'd have my hide." Ephram pointed out. Andy shrugged at the insane remark from his four year old.
"Guess that'd be out of the question." Leo nodded.
"Where does he come up with this stuff?" Andy wondered out loud.
"Cartoons." Leo whispered.
"That's gotta be it." Andy agreed.
"So Tiger, you havin' a good time fattening up the pigeons?" Leo leaned on the short wall next to Ephram.
"Someone's gotta do it. I can't let them go hungry. Then they'll die." Ephram reasoned with eyes shining.
"Gee, they'll always be hungry. No matter how much you feed them. Pigeons are strong birds. They survive the coldest of winters and the hottest of summers - through rain and snow. But they always come back." Leo said.
"They're so cute too." Ephram remarked looking squarely at Leo.
"No, they're not that cute. YOU'RE cute." Andy jumped in with an attempt to tickle the boy. Ephram giggled trying to avoid him.
"Da-aaady! Stop it! You're going to make me drop my pretzel!!" Ephram cackled loudly.
"Then you'd better hold on to it tighter. Cause if you drop it, you lose it to the pigeons." Andy laughed wickedly and continued to tackle Ephram. Being that the boy was wearing such a thick coat, it was hard to find his tickle spot. Nonetheless, just the idea of being tickled, made Ephram laugh even harder. He laughed until his cheeks were rosy with warmth.
"Hey, no fair!!" Ephram shouted. "I'm gonna get you back, dad and I'm telling mom."
"Oh, no! I'm so scared." Andy joked. "I'd better stop now." He raised his hands in mid air to surrender. Ephram calmed down from his laughing fit.
"Sweet kid. I envy you, Andy. Wish mine were more like him." Leo said.
"He's my pride and joy." Andy chuckled wholeheartedly.
"The birds look very soft." Ephram observed throwing another piece of pretzel onto the pavement. "I wish I can touch them."
"Now Ephram, birds are only for looking. They are not for touching. Remember the talk we had last time about pigeons?" Andy scolded playfully.
"Um, yea. They're not clean animals." Ephram rolled his eyes and took a bite out of the pretzel in his hand.
"That's right. They breed germs and bacteria." Andy lectured patiently.
"Dirty stuff you can't see but it's there." Ephram piped intelligibly. Leo raised an impressed eye.
"You are correct." Andy agreed. "Now, tell Leo what else I said about pigeons."
"Dad, do I have to?"
"Go on, kiddo." Andy insisted. "Say it."
******
"Hee-hee. Pigeons are rats with wings." Ephram caught himself saying it aloud through his state of delirium. He opened his eyes and found half his body still sprawled on the hard, cold ground of the small cave. Holes of light were peeking through foliage and vines above illuminating the area around him. He lifted his weary head and moaned feverishly. The place swam in slow motion. His throat was on fire from thirst and his breathing became raspier. Slowly leaning the back of his head against the wall of the cave, he decided that he felt better when his eyes were shut and did so almost instantly.
An unnatural feeling caused him to reopen his eyes. It wasn't so much as the pain. No, he could definitely identify pain. The pain was still there. But this was something different. There was a tingling, pinching sensation coming from the wounds on his chest. It was itchy like someone was tickling it profusely with a feather. He needed to inspect his wounds again. He hated doing this because each time he looked at it, it seemed to have gotten worse. Not only did the sight scare him, it made his hopes of getting out of there alive disappear. He bent his head to see what was making him feel so uncomfortable.
To Ephram's horror, he saw what appeared to be a handful of white silvery maggots weaving in and out of his wounds eating away at his flesh. At first, he thought his eyes were deceiving him and it was just a result of his feverish hallucinations. But he learned it was no fever dream when he reached down and actually touched a few bugs that were wiggling outside the wound. Alarmed, he continued pawing at his wounds with the hand of his uninjured arm. Swallowing the pain it was causing, his only objective was to prevent the bugs from eating anymore of his flesh. Half a dozen of those nasty little slugs flew onto the ground when Ephram's hand brushed them off. Some of the smaller maggots slithered their way into the crevices of the deep laceration hence making it impossible to get out with the mere slapping of his fingers. This was not good. He had to get the bugs out. Suddenly, something made him remember the Swiss Army knife he had in his back pocket.
* Why hadn't I thought of that? Why had I forgotten about it? I could have used it when the bear attacked me. Why? * Ephram thought.
With all his might, he tilted to his side putting pressure on his injured shoulder. He grunted loudly. With his good hand, he pulled out the compact pocketknife from his back pocket. His attempts to open the knife ended up in failure because his entire right arm was immobile. There was no strength left in his right hand to hold any object. He was barely able to feel his arm. Finally, he managed to flick open the knife holding it in his left hand and pulling the small notch in the blade with his teeth. The simple task of opening a penknife absorbed all his strength and left him panting for air.
When Ephram caught is breath, he held the blade of the short penknife to his wound. Scared out of his mind, he knew what he was about to do to himself, was going to hurt beyond belief. He had to give himself the courage to do what he felt needed to be done. Ephram found a broken narrow stick of a tree root about one inch in diameter near him. He took it and placed it across his mouth to bite down on. He took a deep breath and was ready to do surgery on himself.
He decided it was going to be quick. The boy braced himself for the pain and placed the tip of the knife apprehensively into the first gash. He felt a stab of pain vibrate throughout his body. He whimpered and bit down on the root. With his sticky hand shaking violently, the boy carelessly dug around the wound with the sharpness of the blade. He made the wound worse by accidentally cutting himself further. He scraped at the inside of his flesh to get the maggots out. Ephram watched several severed maggots curl up and roll onto the ground like grains of rice as he worked on the second gash. Tears blocked his vision from seeing what he was doing the whole time. He was in so much agony that he had to stop for a small break before going onto the third gash. Biting down on the piece of root muffled his screams. His teeth sank through the root so deep that he even tasted sweet wood mixed with his saliva. His shoulders heaved as he drew breaths. Swallowing hard and paying no attention to the sweat that dripped from his scalp, he continued operating on the third gash. Blood that had clot on the wound was soon reddened by new blood oozing from the new incisions Ephram made. The blood-covered maggots and dirt lodged in the gash were flicked onto the ground in chunks.
The self-inflicted pain was too much for poor Ephram to tolerate. He lost his grasp on the bloody knife and let the knife fall to the ground next to him. Allowing his upper body to drop to the ground, he curled into an almost fetal position. The pain seemed to lessen in this balled up manner. He realized the once blazing sun had dramatically diminished in the last few minutes. It wasn't just a passing cloud hiding the sun for a brief moment, like he had hoped. But it was easy for him to loose track of time. The sun was setting and soon, it would get dark. He wondered if Delia made it back to the campsite or was she lost out there somewhere. He wondered if anyone was going to come for him. He wondered about his fate ending up the way he had.
* Is this how it's going to end? Am I going to die here - cold and alone with no one knowing where I am? Is this small cave going to be my tomb? I know I don't have the strength to hang on forever. Ah, what I wouldn't give to see dad's face one last time before I go. * Ephram thought as he listened to the silence.
* Oh God - please take care of Delia. I've done all I could for her. And please look after dad too. I know I haven't exactly been a saint for the past year and I've practically turned life into a living hell for him but I didn't mean for it to happen that way. Honest. For what it's worth, he's a great dad. He's been too good to me even when I challenge him. Sometimes, I don't think I deserve it. I don't know exactly how much I'll be missed but don't let them be so heartbroken over it. I've lived a good life - a bit short but still good. I'm satisfied. God, if you hear me, please watch over them when I'm gone. It's all I ask. * Ephram prayed. Scared and full of self-pity, he started to cry. He drank his tears greedily as they slid into his mouth.
He wanted to sleep. Crying had always made him drowsy. It was not a very well known method. But Ephram discovered this helpful tool after his mother died. He'd cry himself to sleep every night for a month. It was the only way he could fall sleep and it worked better than any drug tenfold. The pain was increasingly intense and he grew weaker and weaker every passing second. The excessive blood loss made it hard for him to stay focused.
* Please let me sleep God. Let me sleep and never wake up. It hurts too much. Please take me into your hands. * Ephram begged in tears.
Every inch of his body ached and throbbed in pain. He had forgotten about cleanliness along time ago. At this point, his clothes were shredded into tatters and soiled with debris, grass, and bloodstains. His tousled hair was matted and clumped together with a mixture of dirt and sweat. His pale face and neck were covered with messy smudges of soil and dried blood. A thick coat of sticky old blood clung to his hands and fingers. Black crusts of dried blood were embedded under his fingernails. His cheek rested against the moist earth. The cool soil seemed to feel soothing against his flaming skin. He closed his eyes and eventually fell asleep. Night was rapidly closing in.
*****
Ephram woke from a miserable and troubled sleep some few minutes later. He wasn't sure if he was fully conscious or if he was in a dream state. Each time he tried to open his eyes, his eyelids became heavier. He was lying in darkness with only the moon and stars supplying stellar beams of light. His vision became sporadically blurry and dimmer.
He heard a noise. It sounded like scratching or scuffling of footsteps. Whether it was descending or approaching - he could not tell. What was making that strange noise? Careful not to make any noises, he turned his head to face the opening of the cave. Suddenly, a massive shadow appeared. He squinted to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. The burly figure came towards him. There was a peculiar beam of light that danced next to it. Semi-conscious, Ephram could not decipher what it was. However, he did know that something was coming towards him. His mind suddenly cleared - the bear had found him.
In extreme panic mode, Ephram involuntarily let out a moan. Upon hearing this moan, the shadow charged at his direction. It seemed to come just inches away from him before it stopped. Ephram tried to scamper away with what ever little strength he had left. The shady figure grabbed him by the shoulders causing Ephram to scream.
"NO!! Let me go. Don't hurt me!!" Ephram shouted desperately with all his might. "Please - don't hurt me anymore." He sobbed while clawing aimlessly at the figure in the dark.
"Ephram!! Ephram! It's me. It's dad. Ephram!!" The figure spoke. "Listen to me, son."
Not hearing the human voice at once, Ephram continued to punch and kick at the darkness. "NOO! Leave me alone!! Don't hurt me!!" He howled between raw grunts.
"Ephram - stop. Ephram! Nothing is going to hurt you. Ephram? It's dad." Andy kept repeating. "See?" He shined his flashlight on his face revealing his identity. Ephram was too weak to fight back anymore. He drew deep exhausted breaths as he blinked at the man looking down at him.
"Dad?" Ephram whispered between gasps. "Oh Daddy! Can it be? Is it really you? You've come for me? Am I dreaming?" He spoke with a heavy sigh sounding like a helpless little boy, who's been through tremendous suffering. Ephram's small, weak voice tugged at Andy's heartstrings. It broke his heart through and through. Without warning, Ephram jumped into Andy's arms and pulled him into a hug with his good arm. The boy clung to Andy's chest.
"It's ok Ephram. I'm so glad we found you. We've looked everywhere." Andy clasped his long arms gently around his son, who seemed to have gotten smaller in size since earlier that morning.
"Oh thank you. Thank you God. For letting me see my dad again. I can finally die now." Ephram sobbed with heartfelt passion.
"Ephram. What are you saying? You're not going to die." Andy said in shock. "Ephram, let go of me so I can take a look at your wound." He added seriously.
"No dad. Don't let me go. Please don't. It's too late. Just let me die in your arms and I'll be happy. I'm not alone." Ephram rambled as he squeezed tighter. The boy was trembling so badly that even Andy felt it through his jacket.
"Ephram?" Andy's voice trailed off.
"I'm scared. Don't leave. Don't." Ephram dug his face into his father's jacket. He hung on with all the energy left in his tired and weary body. "DELIA! Is Delia - ? Did she - ?" Ephram stammered suddenly remembering his sister. Although it was too dark to really see, he looked up in the dark to where his father's face should be.
"She's fine. She found her way back. Now let me see your shoulder."
"Andy?! Is he in there?" Nina called from somewhere outside the small cave.
"Yes! I got him. He's in here!" Andy yelled back. Nina stuck her head into the cave. She was only able to see one of Ephram's arms around Andy when she shined her flashlight in his direction as Andy's back was facing her. The cave was so small that it was impossible to fit another adult in there.
"Thank God! Is he alright?" Nina asked.
"I'll know in a minute." Andy replied.
"Oh Dad." Ephram repeated through a sea of tears.
"Ephram, baby. Listen to me. It's important that you show me where you are hurt." Andy instructed. "Dear Lord, you're convulsing." He observed. "Nina, give me the blanket from the backpack - and some water."
Ephram refused to let go of his hold on his father's coat. He felt a hand touch the back of his head and brush against a cheek.
"You're burning. Ephram - let go of me." Andy tried to pull him away. Nina handed Andy the items he requested from the backpack.
"Nooo." Ephram mumbled as his clutch softened. He was so tired that he didn't have the energy to bawl anymore. Andy thought his son was finally coming around. Ephram groaned and suddenly went limp in Andy's arms.
"Ephram??" Andy called with alarm. No answer. He gently laid his unconscious son on the ground. He felt the boy's neck for a pulse. It was there but ultimately weak.
"What's going on?" Nina questioned when she heard Andy's outburst.
"He passed out."
"Try giving him some water." Nina suggested.
With the flashlight pinned under his arm, Andy propped his son's neck up and brought the mouth of the water bottle to the boy's bluish lips. Slowly trickling some of the water into Ephram's throat, Andy stared at his boy's dirty face. A tiny bit of water dribbled off the corner of Ephram's mouth. When Andy felt Ephram's had enough water, he carefully rolled him over to his side to look at the wound that Delia had described. The big tear in the sweatshirt made it easy to spot the inflamed area.
"Here's the first aid kit." Nina handed the small square box over Andy's shoulder.
"Thanks." Andy said. He opened it and placed conveniently on the ground next to him.
Andy proceeded to inspect and assess the infected wound. He cringed at the swelling and discoloration of the opening. Ignoring the anxiety and fear, he took the small squeeze bottle of povidone-iodine solution out of the first aid kit and cleaned the wound the best he could with trembling fingers. He used a small pair of tweezers to pick out any debris that was trapped in the flesh.
"Is Ephram ok?" Delia asked trying to catch a glimpse of her brother in the dark cave. "Can I see him?" She pressed impatiently.
"In a few minutes honey. Your father is helping him right now." Nina explained. "How's it going in there?" She called to Andy.
"Shoulder wound is infected. Cleaning it out now. He's cut up pretty bad." Andy said while trying to balance the flashlight under his chin. He frantically applied an anti-microbial cream outside the wound to prevent further infection and covered it with a large thick piece of gauze pad.
Nina held her flashlight above Andy to help with the lighting. Tearing the white waterproof tape with his teeth, Andy managed to adhere the gauze securely to Ephram's shoulder. He rolled the boy over on his back.
"Ephram buddy?" Andy said patting his son's cheeks mildly. Looking the boy in the face, Andy realized that Ephram showed no signs of regaining consciousness. The boy was dusted with so much dirt and grime that Andy failed to notice the additional wounds on Ephram's chest until he scanned the rest of his son's body with his flashlight.
"Oh NO!" Andy exclaimed when he spotted the extra wounds in Ephram's side. He quickly rolled up what was left of Ephram's sweatshirt.
"What?" Nina gulped.
"He's got more than one lacerations." Andy shouted back.
"How many more?" Nina was afraid to hear the answer.
"Three. The one on his shoulder makes four." Andy counted. "What the hell?" He swore softly when he closely examined the newer injuries. Three irregular furrows of dark red flesh stared at him. Each cut was still moist with blood. The clots kept breaking when Ephram tried to move. A slimy greenish puss had formed in the gashes, which meant infection had taken place.
"Ephram, what did you do to yourself?" Andy gasped noticing the abnormal jagged cuts in the skin around the edge of the wounds that were not consistent with a claw strike. Something shiny caught Andy's eye. It was the silver Swiss Army pocketknife reflecting off the beam of light coming from his flashlight. He saw a film of dried blood stuck on the blade and handle. And then he saw several dead maggots scattered near the knife and understood the "why" question. Andy shook his head in disapproval and madly tried to clean each of the wounds. Ephram was getting paler and paler - his skin color had become slightly chalky.
"Something wrong?" Nina guessed.
"Yea. It's bad Nina. Real bad. We gotta get him to a hospital immediately." Andy spoke with authority as he quickly finished up with cleaning the wounds.
"What? What's wrong, Nina? Tell me!! What's happening to Ephram?" Delia demanded when she sensed the anxiety in her father's tone. She tried to squeeze herself into the cave to see what was going on.
"Keep Delia back." Andy ordered. He did not want Delia to witness Ephram's current condition with guts hanging open and gore spilt all over him. It will scare her half to death.
"Come on sweetie, let your dad do his thing." Nina pulled Delia back and held her hand.
"Damn!" Andy cussed after he placed a gauze pad on the injuries.
"What!" Nina breathed.
"Ran out of waterproof tape." Andy replied.
"Is there anything I can do?" Nina said holding the carving knife in one hand and Delia's small hand in the other.
"Yea." Andy said as he wrapped Ephram with the thermal blanket. "I'm gonna get him out of here. I need you to hold the gauze on his chest in place while I carry him." He threw the Swiss Army knife into the first aid kit and snapped it shut.
"I can do that." Nina said nervously and placed the first aid kit back into Andy's backpack.
"What can I do?" Delia volunteered. "I want to help."
"Delia, you are going to have to be our light. We need you to point the flashlight so we know where we're going. We'll be moving really fast so need you to stay close." Andy said between breaths handing Delia two flashlights. "Can you do that baby?"
"Yes." Delia obeyed.
Andy cautiously slid an arm under Ephram's shoulders and another arm behind Ephram's knees and began pulling the boy out of the narrow cave. Still wrapped securely in the thermal blanket, Ephram's listless body dangled in his father's robust arms. Nina heard a small gasp from Delia's lips as she watched her father immerge from the cave with her unconscious brother in tow.
"It'll be alright Delia. Don't be scared." Nina coached motherly. Speechless, Delia alternated worried glances between Nina and the bundle of blanket that her father was carrying. Nina put the carving knife into her backpack in a hurry. "Delia, honey?" She called.
It took a while to get Delia's attention. Her eyes followed the boy wrapped in the blanket. He wasn't showing any signs of movement at all and this scared Delia. From the intensity in the adults' actions and dialog, Delia knew in her gut that something was terribly wrong. She wanted so bad to believe that Ephram was just tired and that was the main reason her father was carrying him - and that the hurt on his shoulder was just something minor and nothing to worry about. She didn't want to believe her brother might be dying. But was her brother already dead and they weren't telling her? Or was it just an innocent sleep? It was dark and she could not get a clear look at Ephram's face. The curious part of her wanted to see but the rational side of her begged her not to. She was terrified of knowing the truth.
"Huh?" Delia finally replied.
"We're gonna go now. You ok?" Nina said worriedly.
"Oh, yea. I'm fine. Let's go." Delia stammered. Nina slid a hand under the blanket that was covering the injured boy and held the gauze pad in place while Andy carried him.
Night had come almost instantly and the sounds of nature were amplified in the stillness. Crickets chirped and owls hooted somewhere in the darkness. Delia kept her mind off Ephram by using the flashlights skillfully to find the red strings Nina had tied onto the trees they passed to lead them back to the campsite.
*****
When he regained consciousness, he couldn't figure out where he was. It was close to being pitch black. He saw a peculiar yellowish light dancing above him. He thought he'd died but quickly nixed the thought when that all too familiar feeling returned. Pain. The fact that he was being bounced around in some contraption made it difficult to not feel every prick and pinch in his wounds. Something was pressing down against his side making it hard for him to breath. He moaned softly.
"Andy!! He's coming to!! I think he's waking up!" Nina yelled. Andy checked out the scene thru the rear view mirror. Delia, who was sitting in the front passenger seat, quickly poked her head between the two seats to see.
"Good. That's good." Andy said in a nervous tone. "Try and keep him conscious. Talk to him."
"Don't worry. You just concentrate on driving." Nina replied. She looked down at Ephram, who was leaning against her. "Ephram, can you hear me?"
No reply. Blinking weakly, his eyes were not focused on any particular object. Ephram found himself squinting at the light above him. He suddenly noticed more lights when he looked straight ahead. These were not stationary lights like the one above him. These were red and white twinkling ones that seemed to be coming from somewhere outside.
"Ephram? Honey? Can you hear me?" Nina said again. He slowly turned his head to face the woman seated next to him. She looked blurry - kind of like looking thru a pair of binoculars while adjusting the clarity knob. "Thirsty? Do you want some water?"
Ephram saw her lips move like as if she was speaking to him but he heard no sound. He blinked again and swallowed. "Come on Ephram, you're scaring me. Say something. Anything. Can you hear what I'm saying? If you can't speak then at least nod or squeeze my hand or make some kind of noise so I know you're ok." Nina felt her anxiety growing. She wondered if anything was even registering in his brain. He appeared to be in some sort of shock.
Ephram realized what annoying object was pressing down on his side making him uncomfortable. It was the woman's hand. He groaned and tried to push it off him so he could breathe. Nina easily overpowered the weak and lame boy.
"No. I have to keep that there." Nina took Ephram's blood stained hand and placed it by his side. She caught his confused stare. Judging by his blank look, she wasn't sure if he knew where he was or even who he was. "Baby. Here, have some water." Nina offered.
She brought a bottle of Evian water to his lips and tilted the container slightly. He took a few slow gulps. Seeing him able to swallow brought a smile to Nina's lips.
"How is it back there? It's awfully quiet." Andy said while eyeing the rear view mirror.
"He's drinking. He's drinking!" Nina reported.
"That's great." Andy said feeling a dash of worry being lifted from his brow.
"It worries me that he hasn't said anything yet. I'm not sure if he can hear or understand me. Andy, I think he may be in shock or something." Nina said.
"Keep trying. He'll come around." Andy said as he felt the weight of that layer of worry placed back on his shoulders.
"Ephram? Do you remember what happened to you?" Nina asked. She waited for a response from the boy after a draught of water.
He looked up at her with tired and sullen eyes like as if he didn't understand. Words and sounds weaved in and out. His brain tried to make sense of those odd bits and pieces of the noises thrown at him. Though it didn't take long for him to give up. The task was too strenuous. He didn't know which was worse - not being able to move or feel his right arm from the shoulder down or being gutted like a dead fish with the horrible twisting pain in his side. Besides, the smooth touch of Nina's delicate hand on his face and the soft feel of her clothed body made nestling closer hard to resist. He leaned his head back against Nina's shoulder and closed his eyes for a second.
"NO Ephram, you gotta stay awake. Ephram? Open your eyes!" Nina instructed. "Ephram - I won't have you do this to us. Not when we're so close. Damn it, stay awake." She shook him gently. He opened his eyes again. Ephram's good old greenish grays peered weakly into Nina's hazel eyes in a pleading manner like as if he was asking for help with his eyes.
"Hey there bright eyes." Nina cooed when she saw his eyes flutter open. "There we go. Things will be alright."
The poor kid looked like he hadn't slept in days. There were black circles under his eyes and his skin was unusually white and almost bluish from the blood loss. His dry and cracked lips were a dark shade of purple. Nina hated to think it but Ephram looked like death. She watched him draw in some air. Even his breathing sounded difficult. Nina hated seeing someone suffer this much. It made her nervous. For a lack of better things to do, Nina tried to wipe the dirty smudges off his face with a tissue.
"Ephram - do you remember what happened to you?" Nina asked again. "Hmm?"
Ephram looked at her quizzically for a moment and answered her with a slight nod of his head.
"Good!! That's good. You understood what I said!!" Nina exclaimed loud enough for Andy to hear. "He nodded!!" She shouted.
"Ok, now do you know where you are?" Nina fired the next question. The lost and confused look in the boy's eyes told Nina he did not. "Well, I suppose not since you were unconscious the whole time. We're in your dad's car right now. You see those lights up ahead?" Nina pointed to the peculiar red and white flashing lights that Ephram couldn't figure out. "Those are patrol cars. We're being escorted by the Park Rangers. They met up with us when we made it back to our campsite."
Ephram squinted at the bright lights not saying a word.
"They're taking us to a helipad near the ranger station." Nina explained. She stroked Ephram's greasy black hair.
"A heli - helicopter?" Ephram managed to stutter.
"Ah - he talks!!" Nina brimmed with excitement upon his first words. "Yes. We're going to go on a little helicopter ride to the hospital. They're waiting for us as we speak. Now, it's nothing to be scared of because we are all coming with you. We'll be right next to you holding your hand. Ok?" Nina continued. Ephram gave a short nod. She didn't have the heart to tell him how severe his injuries were that they needed to medical air lift him to the hospital. She also failed to inform him that an emergency medical team is on alert at the hospital waiting anxiously to receive and assist.
Ephram stared at the yellowish light above him, which he realized was part of his father's car. The little light was hurting his eyes so he turned his attention back to Nina.
"Your hair is messed up." Ephram suddenly said, which ultimately surprised Nina because she hadn't expected him to start up a conversation. Of all the things he could've said, he had to choose this rude comment. He wasn't sure why he said it. For a moment, he wasn't even certain if he actually said it or if he was only thinking it.
"Yes, I know. Talk about bad hair days. You are witnessing one of mine." Nina replied with an affectionate smile confirming that he was indeed thinking aloud. Nina watched Ephram's every move. "How are you holding up? Do you want more water?" Nina asked.
Ephram became mute again. He only took long stares at Nina without batting an eye. "Ephram?" Nina called with concern. He blinked and shivered.
He couldn't decide if he was hot or cold. One minute he felt feverish, and the next he felt like he was in the Arctic Circle. The thermal blanket was comfortable but hardly enough to keep him warm. The clammy dried sweat covering his body was no help in maintaining a normal body temperature.
"Are you cold?" Nina assumed and tucked the blanket securely around him. "Here. How's this?" She spread her own jacket over the blanket and pulled him closer to her to generate body heat. "Better?" She asked while trying to keep that blasted gauze pad from slipping. "Andy, he's cold. Can you turn up the heat?"
"Right. It's up a notch." Andy obeyed as he flicked a switch on the dashboard.
"Ephram? Are you still cold?" Nina inquired. No reply was given. Ephram's head fell back on the leather upholstery. He blinked feebly at Nina. Her face was starting to blur.
Her face seemed to change. He no longer saw the Nina Greeley with the frizzy blondish corn silk hair tied back into a ponytail and hazel eyes catering to his every need. Nina's smooth lightly tanned complexion and perfect red lips were gone. He saw an image of a woman with long, straight chestnut brown hair and vibrant brown eyes staring back at him. Her eyes danced when she smiled amiably at him. This woman had a familiar sweet lingering scent. It was Gaultier perfume. Suddenly, he grew extremely excited. He remembered this smell. He remembered it too well. She had a thing for French perfume. This smell can only belong to one woman - Julia Brown. His mother. He knew she was dead but he never thought about the impossibilities of actually being able to see his mother unless he, too, was about to die. Rational thinking had long escaped his mind. Ephram had so much he wanted to say to her that he knew not where to begin. He wanted to throw his arms around her and hug her. He wanted to cover her with kisses. He wanted to smell her again. He wanted to cry happy tears and tell her he loved her and was so glad to see her. But something stopped him from being too quick at his happiness.
"Momma, please don't be mad at me. I kept my promise. Really, I did." Ephram blurted to Nina.
"What? What are you talking about?" Nina was perplexed.
"You mustn't be mad at me. I kept my word." He moaned. "I did the best I could. Just like I promised. Nothing bad happened to her."
"Sweetie." Nina said. "I have no idea what you're saying."
"You're mad at me." Something inside Ephram suddenly made him sad. "I know it's my fault. It is. And you're mad at me." He started to cry softly.
"Huh?! Oh-no. No, don't cry." Nina said. "It - it's not your fault. No one's mad at you." For the sake of calming his nerves, she thought it best if she just went along with it.
"Momma - I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Momma." Ephram whimpered weakly. He realized he didn't have the energy to shed any more tears.
"How is he doing?" Andy asked with concern for an update.
"He's talking but he's not making sense." Nina shrugged. "For some reason, he's not seeing me. He sees his mother."
"Just keep him talking." Andy said while wiping droplets of sweat that were dripping down from his temples.
"Please forgive me and let me come with you? I deserve to come, don't I? You won't turn me away?" Ephram mumbled. He stared hard into Nina's eyes. "Momma?"
"Daddy, why is Ephram talking all weird and calling Nina mom?" Delia finally said watching attentively through the two front seats the whole time.
"He's in a state of delirium, Delia. Ephram is not well. He doesn't know what he's saying." Andy hoped that reason satisfied his young daughter.
Delia accepted the explanation. She scrutinized the scene in the back seat. Her brother had been wrapped with the thermal blanket and Nina's denim jacket. Nina's right hand was hidden somewhere under the covers holding the gauze on his wound. Delia wondered how bad the wound really was. More curiously, she secretly wanted to see how it looked. However, Delia couldn't stop staring at Ephram's face. He looked nothing like how she remembered. This face before her was thin, discolored, and ghastly. It scared her. The blanket failed to cover Ephram's left hand leaving it exposed to Delia's speculation. Spots of black flaky crusts of dried blood clots were smeared on the back and palm of his hand as well as under his fingernails. Some crimson color was still visible in the spaces between his fingers. It reminded Delia of how one's hands appeared after finger painting. Except in this case, instead of paint, Ephram used his own blood. Mesmerized, she stared at that bloody hand unable to turn her gaze away.
"Talk to me, momma. Let me come." Ephram mumbled when he didn't hear a reply. "Please. I love you momma."
"Momma loves you more than anything, but it's not time for you to be with me yet. You have to live here with your father and sister. They love you very much too." Nina replied impersonating the image that Ephram saw.
"I'll be good. You'll see. I promise." The boy begged.
"Ephram, you are a very good boy. I don't doubt that - ever. But you can't come with me yet. Our family still needs you. You can't give up. I forbid it." Nina continued.
Ephram turned his head to look through his window. The sky was a deep charcoal color with streaks of dark blue clouds lining across the mountaintops. He closed his eyes and swallowed a painful breath. Before Nina could agitate him further with a rough jostle in hopes of keeping the boy awake, Ephram opened his eyes again. This time, something in his eyes told her that he recognized her.
"Ephram?" Nina called softly. He gave out a moan followed by a whimper.
"Hurts." He said. It was the only word that could pass the boy's lips.
Ephram cried out in a low squeak when the car rolled over some unavoidable rocks that left the interior shaking for a few brief moments. He shut his eyes so tight that a few suspended teardrops hung on the corner of his eyes before running down his dirt smudged face.
"What!! What's happening?" Andy exclaimed when he heard the pitched scream from his son. He tried to see what was happening through the rear view mirror again.
"He's in so much pain. I wish we had something to give him to dull the pain. He's going to pass out." Nina reiterated.
Andy suddenly had an idea. He reached over to the leather glove compartment in front of where Delia sat and flipped it open. His hands ran through a bunch of folded maps, and other papers in search for his item. Keeping one hand on the steering wheel, his foot on the acceleration pedal, his eyes on the road ahead of him, and his other hand in the glove compartment madly groping among the junk that had accumulated in there over the past several weeks. Finally, under an empty old plastic sunglass case, he found it. It was hidden well. He had himself to thank for that.
He pulled out a shiny small silver flask. This precious object had sentimental value. It brought back a memory Andy always remembered. It was a gift from Julia celebrating his first year as a pre-med student.
Julia came across it during a Spring break trip to Manchester, England in her sophomore year at Columbia University. It practically screamed out "Andy Brown" the moment she set eyes on the liquor flask at a classy little shop called The Executive on Cambridge Street. It was made of genuine pewter and had a Celtic border design. Andy turned into somewhat of a liquor and spirits buff during his college years. He always enjoyed a good drink every now and then. Julia knew it. They used to joke about how important it was for the future surgeon to stay sober during an operation and all the consequences that can occur if he didn't take that precaution. And Andy retorted that there was only one way anyone could really tell if he was drunk. He told her, "When I start to rhyme or sing spoken words, be very afraid. That's how you'll know I've had just a tad bit too much to drink." They had such laughs back in the day.
Andy grabbed the flask and handed it to Nina. "Here. Give him some of this. It'll help with the pain." He said.
"What's this?" Nina asked suspiciously as she took the container.
"Brandy." Andy said innocently while shutting the glove compartment with a snap.
"You brought liquor on this trip? I can't believe you!!" Nina was appalled.
"It was supposed to be a surprise. I was saving it for us. You know, after the kids were asleep." Andy confessed.
"Geez, you're just as bad as he is." Nina felt flustered. She twisted the top of the little flask opening and put the mouth of the container to Ephram's pallid lips. "Ephram, drink this. It's for the pain." Nina spoke gently.
Ephram trusted Nina. His world was swimming in a dream-like state. Chances were, he hadn't even heard a word Nina said. He only saw that she was trying to feed him something. Ephram felt the bitter and ardent alcohol slid down his throat and esophagus after the first few swigs. He coughed up some of the liquor and choked painfully as he struggled to get the pungent liquid out of his windpipe. Ephram didn't know what awful tasting medicine she was giving him but his lungs were on fire and he really thought he was going to die.
"Oh dear!! Easy does it." Nina said trying to ease the coughing fit by rubbing the boy's back. She watched his face turn colors faster than the twinkling lights on a Christmas tree - white to red to green and back to white. "I think that's enough for you. Andy, It's doing more harm than good. I'm not giving him any more." Nina announced and hurriedly put the cap back on the flask.
"Is he alright?" Andy's voice was ridded with distress.
"Ephram?" Delia whispered. Troubled and concern, her small fingers gripped the gray leather seat close to panic. Watching her brother cough so violently was more than she could handle.
"He choked on the Brandy." Nina reported. "Baby, do you feel better?" She asked Ephram when she noticed his cough had subsided. He did not reply for he was preoccupied with drawing in oxygen.
Semi-conscious, Ephram felt the motion of the car come to a complete stop. He wasn't sure if it really had come to a stop or if it was just something he thought he felt. Someone scooped him up and it was like he was walking on air. Wind. He felt wind blowing against his face. He heard a loud swooshing noise. Helicopter blades? Then someone placed him on something soft and covered him with a blanket that made his skin itchy. Wool. He heard muffled incoherent sounds. Human communication. A lot of voices surrounded him. Barely able to open his eyes, he felt someone put something over his mouth and nose. It smelt like plastic but there was a thin passage of air that came through it each time he sucked in a breath.
The burning sensation - from ingesting the horrible tasting liquid - in his innards had diminished. He actually felt better. The pain had almost disappeared from his system. Ephram wondered what kind of miracle elixir Nina had given him because whatever it was, it seemed to have worked. He felt detached from his body, like he was floating in midair. Levitating. Maybe it was from the helicopter lifting off the ground. He couldn't tell. All he knew was, it felt like his soul had been magically suspended in the air leaving his body behind. He felt free.
He was dying.
* end of chapter 3 *
A/N: What will happen next? Will the hero of our story survive or will there be another funeral in the Brown's near future? Stay tuned!
PS - thanks to all of you who have read/reviewed my fic so far. I appreciate it very much!!
Ephram's mind transported him to a different place as he drifted further and further away from the present. He felt himself falling backwards into a deep gray abyss. He wasn't violently falling at all. It was more like gliding. There was no gravity in this time warp. His arms and legs were light as feathers and a strange force pulled him gently downward. There was no pain and suffering. Fear had been vanquished and his heart was no longer thumping madly against his chest cavity with anticipation. He was surprisingly calm. Ephram happened to look around and saw an abstract font of numbers and clocks appear magically out of nowhere. The figures twisted and contorted pass him making no sense. The second and hour hands of clocks spun indicating time in reverse. He saw pendulums of various styles and sizes ticking loudly as they approached and soften when they whizzed past him. Wooden hourglasses turned over and over as the grains emptied through the narrow opening. The chirping of cuckoo clocks sounded somewhere in the grayness. An enormous antique grandfather clock chimed as the arms of the clock's face stuck twelve. Years and dates ran backwards. Time changed rapidly taking Ephram back - back to a point in his life he'd long forgotten.
The air was bitter cold. He held onto his father's gloved hand as they walked down Fifth Avenue. Multicolored cable knit mittens protected his little hands from the jarring cold. The mittens were clipped onto the cuff of his flannel coat to prevent the losing of these precious articles of clothing. His long matching scarf was wrapped around his neck what appeared to be several thousand times with the ends tied securely into a knot. Occasionally pushing up the band of his matching knit hat that kept falling over his eyes, he let his father lead the way. A big pom pom on the top of his hat bounced up and down as he walked. Trying to keep up with his father's long strides, he often quickened his step into a skip. They came to a stop at the curb.
"Am I walking too fast?" His father asked while waiting for the 'walk' signal to appear so they could cross the street.
"Yes." The young boy answered looking up at his father's clean-shaven face. "You have longer legs than me."
"I'm sorry. I always seem to forget that. I'll try to walk slower. Ok?" His father smiled apologetically. The boy nodded.
"It's cold!!" The boy exclaimed.
"No, son. This is not cold. This is freezing!!" His father said. "But we'll warm up after we have something to eat. To our usual place sound good?"
"Mmm. Yea!" Cried the little boy in excitement. The light changed and his father took his hand again to walk across the street.
They finally reached East 59th street Central Park South. Braving the cold, a mass of satisfied weekend shoppers chattered merrily on their way with their purchases in tote. Kids flocked from one display window to the next like bees to flowers. Energetic adults burst into animation seeking sales and bargains at their favorite stores. It was the bustle of the city. The amount of yellow taxicabs multiplied by the dozens as they scoured the streets for new passengers. Traffic was backed up several blocks bumper to bumper. Father and son walked up to the hotdog stand where a stocky man in his late fifties was busy putting the finishing touches on hotdogs for a pair of hungry teenagers. Wearing an old black puffy down jacket and a tan hunter's hat on his head - Elmer Fudd style - the stocky fellow handed a warm Knish wrapped in foil to another customer. A huge dark green nylon umbrella advertising Poland Spring water shielded the cart from the weather. The scalloped valance made a 'thub' sound when the wind forced it to flap against the main umbrella.
"Well look who it is!" The stocky man said happily as he spun around to face his new customers. "Andy! Good ta see ya, doc. I thought you wouldn't make it out. It's frigid." He added with a thick New York accent.
"Hey Leo." Andy greeted. "Are you kidding? We haven't missed a Saturday yet."
"Is the Missus out on a date with your credit card again?" Leo joked.
"Yep. Who knew? All these years, she only married me for my credit cards. Haha." Andy laughed. "She didn't see anything she liked at Bloomingdale's so she went to Bergdorf Goodman, which will probably take her at least three hours. Julia always said a woman could never have enough designer handbags and designer shoes." He said adjusting his polar fleece winter hat. "So, here we are with plenty of time to kill."
"And what kind of mummy do we have here - all wrapped up?" Leo brought his attention to the obedient and reticent young boy by Andy's side. Leo stroked his bushy salt and pepper beard.
"It's Ephram!! See!" The boy pulled down his thick scarf to reveal a freckle-splashed face.
"Oh Ephram!! I didn't recognize you at all!!" Leo pretended to act surprised. "You got mighty taller since the last I saw you, Tiger." Stooping down to meet Ephram's height, he stuck out a hand for a handshake.
"Hi Leo!!" Ephram said showing a toothy grin. He extended his gloved hand and planted a firm handshake.
"That's some grip ya got there, Tiger. Say, how old are ya again?" Leo wowed.
"Same as last Saturday." Ephram chirped with gleaming greenish gray eyes that danced when he spoke. "I'm four." He answered proudly.
"Four, huh? You're practically a young man already." Leo said.
"Yep. I know how to tie my shoelaces all by myself and I can count to twenty." Ephram replied with pride.
"Really! Well then, you're all set!" Leo smiled as-a-matter-of-factly. "You've got a great kid, doc." He said as he got up to face Andy.
"Shorty, keeps me amused." Andy shrugged. "He's a handful but I love the knucklehead to death." He shook Ephram's well-insulated head playfully from side to side.
"Da-ad." Ephram chuckled.
"So what can I fix for you today?" Leo burst out as he clicked a pair of tongs together.
"Well?" Andy looked at his son for an answer.
"I want a hotdog with ketchup and - and mustard!!" Ephram exclaimed. "And a pretzel!!"
"You must be hungry today huh, Tiger?" Leo observed.
"Yea. I didn't really eat a lot of breakfast." Ephram replied.
"Uh, yes he did. He had a whole bowl of cereal." Andy corrected.
"Aw, but he's a growing boy." Leo justified with a grin.
"That he is, my friend. That he is. Make that two hotdogs and a pretzel." Andy said.
Ephram watched Leo attentively as he flipped open the steamer lid. A puff of moist steam rose and evaporated into the winter air. Leo assembled the first hotdog. With his tongue on the corner of his mouth, Ephram's wide eyes followed Leo's hand as he squirted ketchup and mustard on top of the hotdog.
This was how the Brown's spent their Saturdays lately. While Julia browsed the shops down Fifth Avenue, Andy and Ephram busied themselves with other activities. The three would meet up again for a late lunch and head home. Ever since Ephram was born, Andy had to be the one to baby-sit while Julia had her day of shopping. The endless hours of waiting were a drag for any man who hated shopping as much as Andy did. He killed time by pushing a sleeping baby Ephram all tucked comfortably in his stroller around block after block until he was going to die of boredom. One Saturday, he ventured all the way to the South entrance of Central Park, with baby Ephram in tow. He spotted a hotdog stand and decided to get a Knish. It was there that they met a friendly old man, who always had interesting stories to tell - if not about himself, then about all the odd balls he had seen coming and going at this location. With his newfound friend, Saturdays became fun again.
Leonard Stockwell was his name. He was known to most as just the guy who sells hotdogs. Those who knew him called him "Leo." He was a heavyset man of five feet eleven inches tall with a medium scruffy graying beard that reminded Ephram of a dirtier version of Santa Claus. Leo was fifty-six at the time and never shy of showing it. He'd been selling hotdogs on the corner of 59th and Fifth for five years. Rain or shine - he was always there to add to the New York ambiance by providing frankfurters and Knishes. Leo's past was a bit shady. But from what Andy gathered, though never digging too deep, Leo hailed from Philadelphia. He was drafted by dear old Uncle Sam into the army at the age of 19, put through quick basic training and shipped off to fight in the jungles of Vietnam.
Leo rarely expanded on the subject. When prompted by Andy on his experiences in the war, Leo summed things up by saying, "It was a traumatic moment in time I wish I could forget. But on occasion, it creeps up and haunts me when I least expect it, you know? This sort of stuff doesn't go away. No sir, it doesn't. It sticks with you until you die. Listen to me sonny, I've seen some horrible things in my lifetime - most of which you don't need to know. People gettin' killed and blown up to bits n pieces. They weren't just any people - they were people you knew - your friends. I've seen defenseless civilians in the villages - women and children - gunned down and slaughtered like animals by the VietCong. It leaves you numb and in the end all you really feel is pure anger. I was trained to kill and I can't tell you how many people I've killed mostly because after a while, you just lose track. And you come back to the States when you've served your year, hopin' that things'll go back to normal. But you know deep in your gut that things will never be the same - not with the things I've seen and done. It leaves you feeling empty. No one can understand what it was like unless they've been there. Nowadays, I try to put that part of my life behind me and live the rest of my life in peace. This hotdog stand may not be much but I've had my share of moments getting kicks out of seeing happy smiling faces. It's kinda like therapy for the soul. Hey, I've spent five years talkin' to a shrink. It's got to be worth its weight in gold."
And Andy never brought up the subject again.
The charred smell of warm salt dotted pretzels stacked neatly in a column against the side of the cart drifted into Andy's red numb nose opening his nasal passages. He watched his young boy's eagerness and felt his excitement. Andy couldn't help but laugh at Ephram standing on his tippy- toes craning his neck to see Leo at work. Kids are so easily amazed by the simplest of things.
"There ya go, Tiger. Now I gotta make one for your dad." Leo said handing Ephram the hotdog. The young boy held his food securely with both hands and watched the piping hot steam move upward from the hotdog. Ephram couldn't be happier.
"Add SauerKraut, onions, and relish too please." Andy interjected.
"Sure. You know, they say you can tell a lot about a person just by what they put on their hotdog." Leo mused as he fixed a big helping of the fermented cabbage onto a hotdog.
"Oh? Well, I like ketchup, mustard, SauerKraut, onions, and relish on mine. What does it say about me then?" Andy asked curiously.
"It says you are a very complex person. Having everything on your hotdog makes you anything but simple. You are the type who wants it all. Sometimes, you demand a little too much. But I don't think greed has anything to do with it. It's more like competition and ambition. You're always trying to top yourself that you forget the simpler things. You feel the need to exceed your goals. That's what they call giving it your 110%. Simple things in life aren't enough for you. Nope. Whether it's money or prestige, you want more of it. Then again, who doesn't?" Leo cracked a smile showing his crooked teeth.
"Wow, maybe you should give up the hotdog vending business and become a psychic." Andy joked.
"Fine, don't believe me. Ah but you're still young. In ten years or so you'll see what I mean. For an old man like me, I can tell." He winked.
"Ha!! And I thought I was eating SauerKraut because it was proven by the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry that SauerKraut prevents cancer growth, particularly colon, lung and liver cancers." Andy said knowledgably. "It's actually good for you."
"Tiger, why aren't you eating your hotdog yet?" Leo said to Ephram who was looking up at him with big greenish gray eyes. "Tiger" was a nickname Leo gave to Ephram because he always thought Ephram had eyes like a white Bengal Tiger.
"I'm waitin' for my dad." Ephram said. "We gonna eat together."
"Aw, you love your old pops, don't ya?" Leo said.
Ephram nodded with a wide innocent grin. It was the type of grin that could melt the coldest of hearts. Even though Ephram was only four years old, he had a tight bond with his father. He wanted to be just like him. He copied everything his father did - whether it was the way he folded his hands at the dinner table or his nasally laughed. Ephram saw his father as the perfect role model and the smartest man in the world. No one knew that in about 4 years, a year after Delia's birth, all that would change. Being a neurosurgeon took up all his time and home life took a backseat. His home was in the operating room. Late nights and even weekends were spent buried in work at the hospital. On the rare occasion that he did come "home", he was too tired to talk to his wife or play with his children. It was sort of like that old song "Cat in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin.
However, Andy managed to remember all the important dates and holidays like birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas. He purchased and sent gifts and cards for all those "important" dates but he never showed up in person at all. It was always the same excuse - work. To an older Ephram many years down the line, all those years of waiting by the door hoping his father would come home and be happy to see him were time spent in vain. Expensive gifts that were given to him to substitute for not being there were just objects. They lacked meaning. His father's negligence placed a scar on his heart. But to a younger Ephram, the bond between father and son was still holding strong. His father meant the world to him.
"OK folks, why don't you step into the dining area here and have a seat?" Leo humored and directed Andy and Ephram to a short brick wall that people often used to sit and take a load off their feet. Andy lifted little Ephram by the armpit of his flannel coat and sat him on top of the ledge. Leo then handed Andy a hotdog overflowing with condiments.
"Here's to time spent with Leo." Andy raised his food up for a toast.
"To Leo." Ephram said merrily and toasted by gently tapping their food together. He was about to take a bite out of the hotdog when Leo stopped him.
"Hold on there, Tiger. You might want to wipe your nose first." Leo said referring to a thick clear drop of mucus lingering its way down the boy's upper lip. Ephram tried to suck it back up. "I don't think that's gonna help. Here, try a tissue." Leo added and handed Ephram a tissue.
"Thanks." Ephram said taking the Kleenex and blew his little button nose.
"It's freezin' out here. Even the spit on the streets turned into ice. You don't want two icicles hangin' from your nose, now do ya Tiger?" Leo joked.
"No. I guess not." Ephram laughed at the thought of walking around with one slimy icicle sticking out of each nostril.
Hungrily, they gorged on their food not even coming up for a breath. Even Ephram was able to finish his hotdog - something he had never done before. He was happily munching away on his pretzel while listening to the conversation between his father and Leo. It seems the subjects bounced back and forth between sports and cars. Ephram supposed that's what all guys talked about, which was no problem for him because he could go on and on about his Matchbox cars and Tonka trucks as well as how good he was at playing kick ball. For now, he decided to remain quiet and focus his attention on food. With his feet barely touching the concrete, he dangled his legs over the short wall like Humpty Dumpty.
Ephram laughed at a couple of bungling gray pigeons cooing and dotting around in circles searching for a morsel of food that anyone might have dropped. The birds were round and appeared very well fed for New York pigeons. Ephram marveled at the sight of these preoccupied fine-feathered creatures with red beady eyes and matching sharp red claws. One of them even stopped its busy routine to blink quizzically at Ephram hoping he would find it in his heart to sacrifice a piece of food. Feeling sorry for the little critters, Ephram ripped a generous chunk of pretzel and tossed it at them. Upon seeing the food, about four or five of them flocked over and fought barbarically over the pretzel. They took turns pecking and flinging it around trying to fit any piece they can get into their tiny mouth holes. Ephram threw another piece at the birds. Watching them peck at each other and hovering their wings over the food greedily, he squealed with laughter.
"They look warm and comfortable, don't they?" Leo asked when he finally caught a break between customers. "Don't you wish you had feathers to keep ya warm?"
"Nah, my coat is fine. 'Sides, I'd look kinda silly if I grew feathers." Ephram said with another heartbreaker smile.
"Hmm, that WOULD look pretty silly." Leo rubbed his chin.
"Yea and what would mom say if one day I started growing feathers out of my skin. She'd have my hide." Ephram pointed out. Andy shrugged at the insane remark from his four year old.
"Guess that'd be out of the question." Leo nodded.
"Where does he come up with this stuff?" Andy wondered out loud.
"Cartoons." Leo whispered.
"That's gotta be it." Andy agreed.
"So Tiger, you havin' a good time fattening up the pigeons?" Leo leaned on the short wall next to Ephram.
"Someone's gotta do it. I can't let them go hungry. Then they'll die." Ephram reasoned with eyes shining.
"Gee, they'll always be hungry. No matter how much you feed them. Pigeons are strong birds. They survive the coldest of winters and the hottest of summers - through rain and snow. But they always come back." Leo said.
"They're so cute too." Ephram remarked looking squarely at Leo.
"No, they're not that cute. YOU'RE cute." Andy jumped in with an attempt to tickle the boy. Ephram giggled trying to avoid him.
"Da-aaady! Stop it! You're going to make me drop my pretzel!!" Ephram cackled loudly.
"Then you'd better hold on to it tighter. Cause if you drop it, you lose it to the pigeons." Andy laughed wickedly and continued to tackle Ephram. Being that the boy was wearing such a thick coat, it was hard to find his tickle spot. Nonetheless, just the idea of being tickled, made Ephram laugh even harder. He laughed until his cheeks were rosy with warmth.
"Hey, no fair!!" Ephram shouted. "I'm gonna get you back, dad and I'm telling mom."
"Oh, no! I'm so scared." Andy joked. "I'd better stop now." He raised his hands in mid air to surrender. Ephram calmed down from his laughing fit.
"Sweet kid. I envy you, Andy. Wish mine were more like him." Leo said.
"He's my pride and joy." Andy chuckled wholeheartedly.
"The birds look very soft." Ephram observed throwing another piece of pretzel onto the pavement. "I wish I can touch them."
"Now Ephram, birds are only for looking. They are not for touching. Remember the talk we had last time about pigeons?" Andy scolded playfully.
"Um, yea. They're not clean animals." Ephram rolled his eyes and took a bite out of the pretzel in his hand.
"That's right. They breed germs and bacteria." Andy lectured patiently.
"Dirty stuff you can't see but it's there." Ephram piped intelligibly. Leo raised an impressed eye.
"You are correct." Andy agreed. "Now, tell Leo what else I said about pigeons."
"Dad, do I have to?"
"Go on, kiddo." Andy insisted. "Say it."
******
"Hee-hee. Pigeons are rats with wings." Ephram caught himself saying it aloud through his state of delirium. He opened his eyes and found half his body still sprawled on the hard, cold ground of the small cave. Holes of light were peeking through foliage and vines above illuminating the area around him. He lifted his weary head and moaned feverishly. The place swam in slow motion. His throat was on fire from thirst and his breathing became raspier. Slowly leaning the back of his head against the wall of the cave, he decided that he felt better when his eyes were shut and did so almost instantly.
An unnatural feeling caused him to reopen his eyes. It wasn't so much as the pain. No, he could definitely identify pain. The pain was still there. But this was something different. There was a tingling, pinching sensation coming from the wounds on his chest. It was itchy like someone was tickling it profusely with a feather. He needed to inspect his wounds again. He hated doing this because each time he looked at it, it seemed to have gotten worse. Not only did the sight scare him, it made his hopes of getting out of there alive disappear. He bent his head to see what was making him feel so uncomfortable.
To Ephram's horror, he saw what appeared to be a handful of white silvery maggots weaving in and out of his wounds eating away at his flesh. At first, he thought his eyes were deceiving him and it was just a result of his feverish hallucinations. But he learned it was no fever dream when he reached down and actually touched a few bugs that were wiggling outside the wound. Alarmed, he continued pawing at his wounds with the hand of his uninjured arm. Swallowing the pain it was causing, his only objective was to prevent the bugs from eating anymore of his flesh. Half a dozen of those nasty little slugs flew onto the ground when Ephram's hand brushed them off. Some of the smaller maggots slithered their way into the crevices of the deep laceration hence making it impossible to get out with the mere slapping of his fingers. This was not good. He had to get the bugs out. Suddenly, something made him remember the Swiss Army knife he had in his back pocket.
* Why hadn't I thought of that? Why had I forgotten about it? I could have used it when the bear attacked me. Why? * Ephram thought.
With all his might, he tilted to his side putting pressure on his injured shoulder. He grunted loudly. With his good hand, he pulled out the compact pocketknife from his back pocket. His attempts to open the knife ended up in failure because his entire right arm was immobile. There was no strength left in his right hand to hold any object. He was barely able to feel his arm. Finally, he managed to flick open the knife holding it in his left hand and pulling the small notch in the blade with his teeth. The simple task of opening a penknife absorbed all his strength and left him panting for air.
When Ephram caught is breath, he held the blade of the short penknife to his wound. Scared out of his mind, he knew what he was about to do to himself, was going to hurt beyond belief. He had to give himself the courage to do what he felt needed to be done. Ephram found a broken narrow stick of a tree root about one inch in diameter near him. He took it and placed it across his mouth to bite down on. He took a deep breath and was ready to do surgery on himself.
He decided it was going to be quick. The boy braced himself for the pain and placed the tip of the knife apprehensively into the first gash. He felt a stab of pain vibrate throughout his body. He whimpered and bit down on the root. With his sticky hand shaking violently, the boy carelessly dug around the wound with the sharpness of the blade. He made the wound worse by accidentally cutting himself further. He scraped at the inside of his flesh to get the maggots out. Ephram watched several severed maggots curl up and roll onto the ground like grains of rice as he worked on the second gash. Tears blocked his vision from seeing what he was doing the whole time. He was in so much agony that he had to stop for a small break before going onto the third gash. Biting down on the piece of root muffled his screams. His teeth sank through the root so deep that he even tasted sweet wood mixed with his saliva. His shoulders heaved as he drew breaths. Swallowing hard and paying no attention to the sweat that dripped from his scalp, he continued operating on the third gash. Blood that had clot on the wound was soon reddened by new blood oozing from the new incisions Ephram made. The blood-covered maggots and dirt lodged in the gash were flicked onto the ground in chunks.
The self-inflicted pain was too much for poor Ephram to tolerate. He lost his grasp on the bloody knife and let the knife fall to the ground next to him. Allowing his upper body to drop to the ground, he curled into an almost fetal position. The pain seemed to lessen in this balled up manner. He realized the once blazing sun had dramatically diminished in the last few minutes. It wasn't just a passing cloud hiding the sun for a brief moment, like he had hoped. But it was easy for him to loose track of time. The sun was setting and soon, it would get dark. He wondered if Delia made it back to the campsite or was she lost out there somewhere. He wondered if anyone was going to come for him. He wondered about his fate ending up the way he had.
* Is this how it's going to end? Am I going to die here - cold and alone with no one knowing where I am? Is this small cave going to be my tomb? I know I don't have the strength to hang on forever. Ah, what I wouldn't give to see dad's face one last time before I go. * Ephram thought as he listened to the silence.
* Oh God - please take care of Delia. I've done all I could for her. And please look after dad too. I know I haven't exactly been a saint for the past year and I've practically turned life into a living hell for him but I didn't mean for it to happen that way. Honest. For what it's worth, he's a great dad. He's been too good to me even when I challenge him. Sometimes, I don't think I deserve it. I don't know exactly how much I'll be missed but don't let them be so heartbroken over it. I've lived a good life - a bit short but still good. I'm satisfied. God, if you hear me, please watch over them when I'm gone. It's all I ask. * Ephram prayed. Scared and full of self-pity, he started to cry. He drank his tears greedily as they slid into his mouth.
He wanted to sleep. Crying had always made him drowsy. It was not a very well known method. But Ephram discovered this helpful tool after his mother died. He'd cry himself to sleep every night for a month. It was the only way he could fall sleep and it worked better than any drug tenfold. The pain was increasingly intense and he grew weaker and weaker every passing second. The excessive blood loss made it hard for him to stay focused.
* Please let me sleep God. Let me sleep and never wake up. It hurts too much. Please take me into your hands. * Ephram begged in tears.
Every inch of his body ached and throbbed in pain. He had forgotten about cleanliness along time ago. At this point, his clothes were shredded into tatters and soiled with debris, grass, and bloodstains. His tousled hair was matted and clumped together with a mixture of dirt and sweat. His pale face and neck were covered with messy smudges of soil and dried blood. A thick coat of sticky old blood clung to his hands and fingers. Black crusts of dried blood were embedded under his fingernails. His cheek rested against the moist earth. The cool soil seemed to feel soothing against his flaming skin. He closed his eyes and eventually fell asleep. Night was rapidly closing in.
*****
Ephram woke from a miserable and troubled sleep some few minutes later. He wasn't sure if he was fully conscious or if he was in a dream state. Each time he tried to open his eyes, his eyelids became heavier. He was lying in darkness with only the moon and stars supplying stellar beams of light. His vision became sporadically blurry and dimmer.
He heard a noise. It sounded like scratching or scuffling of footsteps. Whether it was descending or approaching - he could not tell. What was making that strange noise? Careful not to make any noises, he turned his head to face the opening of the cave. Suddenly, a massive shadow appeared. He squinted to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. The burly figure came towards him. There was a peculiar beam of light that danced next to it. Semi-conscious, Ephram could not decipher what it was. However, he did know that something was coming towards him. His mind suddenly cleared - the bear had found him.
In extreme panic mode, Ephram involuntarily let out a moan. Upon hearing this moan, the shadow charged at his direction. It seemed to come just inches away from him before it stopped. Ephram tried to scamper away with what ever little strength he had left. The shady figure grabbed him by the shoulders causing Ephram to scream.
"NO!! Let me go. Don't hurt me!!" Ephram shouted desperately with all his might. "Please - don't hurt me anymore." He sobbed while clawing aimlessly at the figure in the dark.
"Ephram!! Ephram! It's me. It's dad. Ephram!!" The figure spoke. "Listen to me, son."
Not hearing the human voice at once, Ephram continued to punch and kick at the darkness. "NOO! Leave me alone!! Don't hurt me!!" He howled between raw grunts.
"Ephram - stop. Ephram! Nothing is going to hurt you. Ephram? It's dad." Andy kept repeating. "See?" He shined his flashlight on his face revealing his identity. Ephram was too weak to fight back anymore. He drew deep exhausted breaths as he blinked at the man looking down at him.
"Dad?" Ephram whispered between gasps. "Oh Daddy! Can it be? Is it really you? You've come for me? Am I dreaming?" He spoke with a heavy sigh sounding like a helpless little boy, who's been through tremendous suffering. Ephram's small, weak voice tugged at Andy's heartstrings. It broke his heart through and through. Without warning, Ephram jumped into Andy's arms and pulled him into a hug with his good arm. The boy clung to Andy's chest.
"It's ok Ephram. I'm so glad we found you. We've looked everywhere." Andy clasped his long arms gently around his son, who seemed to have gotten smaller in size since earlier that morning.
"Oh thank you. Thank you God. For letting me see my dad again. I can finally die now." Ephram sobbed with heartfelt passion.
"Ephram. What are you saying? You're not going to die." Andy said in shock. "Ephram, let go of me so I can take a look at your wound." He added seriously.
"No dad. Don't let me go. Please don't. It's too late. Just let me die in your arms and I'll be happy. I'm not alone." Ephram rambled as he squeezed tighter. The boy was trembling so badly that even Andy felt it through his jacket.
"Ephram?" Andy's voice trailed off.
"I'm scared. Don't leave. Don't." Ephram dug his face into his father's jacket. He hung on with all the energy left in his tired and weary body. "DELIA! Is Delia - ? Did she - ?" Ephram stammered suddenly remembering his sister. Although it was too dark to really see, he looked up in the dark to where his father's face should be.
"She's fine. She found her way back. Now let me see your shoulder."
"Andy?! Is he in there?" Nina called from somewhere outside the small cave.
"Yes! I got him. He's in here!" Andy yelled back. Nina stuck her head into the cave. She was only able to see one of Ephram's arms around Andy when she shined her flashlight in his direction as Andy's back was facing her. The cave was so small that it was impossible to fit another adult in there.
"Thank God! Is he alright?" Nina asked.
"I'll know in a minute." Andy replied.
"Oh Dad." Ephram repeated through a sea of tears.
"Ephram, baby. Listen to me. It's important that you show me where you are hurt." Andy instructed. "Dear Lord, you're convulsing." He observed. "Nina, give me the blanket from the backpack - and some water."
Ephram refused to let go of his hold on his father's coat. He felt a hand touch the back of his head and brush against a cheek.
"You're burning. Ephram - let go of me." Andy tried to pull him away. Nina handed Andy the items he requested from the backpack.
"Nooo." Ephram mumbled as his clutch softened. He was so tired that he didn't have the energy to bawl anymore. Andy thought his son was finally coming around. Ephram groaned and suddenly went limp in Andy's arms.
"Ephram??" Andy called with alarm. No answer. He gently laid his unconscious son on the ground. He felt the boy's neck for a pulse. It was there but ultimately weak.
"What's going on?" Nina questioned when she heard Andy's outburst.
"He passed out."
"Try giving him some water." Nina suggested.
With the flashlight pinned under his arm, Andy propped his son's neck up and brought the mouth of the water bottle to the boy's bluish lips. Slowly trickling some of the water into Ephram's throat, Andy stared at his boy's dirty face. A tiny bit of water dribbled off the corner of Ephram's mouth. When Andy felt Ephram's had enough water, he carefully rolled him over to his side to look at the wound that Delia had described. The big tear in the sweatshirt made it easy to spot the inflamed area.
"Here's the first aid kit." Nina handed the small square box over Andy's shoulder.
"Thanks." Andy said. He opened it and placed conveniently on the ground next to him.
Andy proceeded to inspect and assess the infected wound. He cringed at the swelling and discoloration of the opening. Ignoring the anxiety and fear, he took the small squeeze bottle of povidone-iodine solution out of the first aid kit and cleaned the wound the best he could with trembling fingers. He used a small pair of tweezers to pick out any debris that was trapped in the flesh.
"Is Ephram ok?" Delia asked trying to catch a glimpse of her brother in the dark cave. "Can I see him?" She pressed impatiently.
"In a few minutes honey. Your father is helping him right now." Nina explained. "How's it going in there?" She called to Andy.
"Shoulder wound is infected. Cleaning it out now. He's cut up pretty bad." Andy said while trying to balance the flashlight under his chin. He frantically applied an anti-microbial cream outside the wound to prevent further infection and covered it with a large thick piece of gauze pad.
Nina held her flashlight above Andy to help with the lighting. Tearing the white waterproof tape with his teeth, Andy managed to adhere the gauze securely to Ephram's shoulder. He rolled the boy over on his back.
"Ephram buddy?" Andy said patting his son's cheeks mildly. Looking the boy in the face, Andy realized that Ephram showed no signs of regaining consciousness. The boy was dusted with so much dirt and grime that Andy failed to notice the additional wounds on Ephram's chest until he scanned the rest of his son's body with his flashlight.
"Oh NO!" Andy exclaimed when he spotted the extra wounds in Ephram's side. He quickly rolled up what was left of Ephram's sweatshirt.
"What?" Nina gulped.
"He's got more than one lacerations." Andy shouted back.
"How many more?" Nina was afraid to hear the answer.
"Three. The one on his shoulder makes four." Andy counted. "What the hell?" He swore softly when he closely examined the newer injuries. Three irregular furrows of dark red flesh stared at him. Each cut was still moist with blood. The clots kept breaking when Ephram tried to move. A slimy greenish puss had formed in the gashes, which meant infection had taken place.
"Ephram, what did you do to yourself?" Andy gasped noticing the abnormal jagged cuts in the skin around the edge of the wounds that were not consistent with a claw strike. Something shiny caught Andy's eye. It was the silver Swiss Army pocketknife reflecting off the beam of light coming from his flashlight. He saw a film of dried blood stuck on the blade and handle. And then he saw several dead maggots scattered near the knife and understood the "why" question. Andy shook his head in disapproval and madly tried to clean each of the wounds. Ephram was getting paler and paler - his skin color had become slightly chalky.
"Something wrong?" Nina guessed.
"Yea. It's bad Nina. Real bad. We gotta get him to a hospital immediately." Andy spoke with authority as he quickly finished up with cleaning the wounds.
"What? What's wrong, Nina? Tell me!! What's happening to Ephram?" Delia demanded when she sensed the anxiety in her father's tone. She tried to squeeze herself into the cave to see what was going on.
"Keep Delia back." Andy ordered. He did not want Delia to witness Ephram's current condition with guts hanging open and gore spilt all over him. It will scare her half to death.
"Come on sweetie, let your dad do his thing." Nina pulled Delia back and held her hand.
"Damn!" Andy cussed after he placed a gauze pad on the injuries.
"What!" Nina breathed.
"Ran out of waterproof tape." Andy replied.
"Is there anything I can do?" Nina said holding the carving knife in one hand and Delia's small hand in the other.
"Yea." Andy said as he wrapped Ephram with the thermal blanket. "I'm gonna get him out of here. I need you to hold the gauze on his chest in place while I carry him." He threw the Swiss Army knife into the first aid kit and snapped it shut.
"I can do that." Nina said nervously and placed the first aid kit back into Andy's backpack.
"What can I do?" Delia volunteered. "I want to help."
"Delia, you are going to have to be our light. We need you to point the flashlight so we know where we're going. We'll be moving really fast so need you to stay close." Andy said between breaths handing Delia two flashlights. "Can you do that baby?"
"Yes." Delia obeyed.
Andy cautiously slid an arm under Ephram's shoulders and another arm behind Ephram's knees and began pulling the boy out of the narrow cave. Still wrapped securely in the thermal blanket, Ephram's listless body dangled in his father's robust arms. Nina heard a small gasp from Delia's lips as she watched her father immerge from the cave with her unconscious brother in tow.
"It'll be alright Delia. Don't be scared." Nina coached motherly. Speechless, Delia alternated worried glances between Nina and the bundle of blanket that her father was carrying. Nina put the carving knife into her backpack in a hurry. "Delia, honey?" She called.
It took a while to get Delia's attention. Her eyes followed the boy wrapped in the blanket. He wasn't showing any signs of movement at all and this scared Delia. From the intensity in the adults' actions and dialog, Delia knew in her gut that something was terribly wrong. She wanted so bad to believe that Ephram was just tired and that was the main reason her father was carrying him - and that the hurt on his shoulder was just something minor and nothing to worry about. She didn't want to believe her brother might be dying. But was her brother already dead and they weren't telling her? Or was it just an innocent sleep? It was dark and she could not get a clear look at Ephram's face. The curious part of her wanted to see but the rational side of her begged her not to. She was terrified of knowing the truth.
"Huh?" Delia finally replied.
"We're gonna go now. You ok?" Nina said worriedly.
"Oh, yea. I'm fine. Let's go." Delia stammered. Nina slid a hand under the blanket that was covering the injured boy and held the gauze pad in place while Andy carried him.
Night had come almost instantly and the sounds of nature were amplified in the stillness. Crickets chirped and owls hooted somewhere in the darkness. Delia kept her mind off Ephram by using the flashlights skillfully to find the red strings Nina had tied onto the trees they passed to lead them back to the campsite.
*****
When he regained consciousness, he couldn't figure out where he was. It was close to being pitch black. He saw a peculiar yellowish light dancing above him. He thought he'd died but quickly nixed the thought when that all too familiar feeling returned. Pain. The fact that he was being bounced around in some contraption made it difficult to not feel every prick and pinch in his wounds. Something was pressing down against his side making it hard for him to breath. He moaned softly.
"Andy!! He's coming to!! I think he's waking up!" Nina yelled. Andy checked out the scene thru the rear view mirror. Delia, who was sitting in the front passenger seat, quickly poked her head between the two seats to see.
"Good. That's good." Andy said in a nervous tone. "Try and keep him conscious. Talk to him."
"Don't worry. You just concentrate on driving." Nina replied. She looked down at Ephram, who was leaning against her. "Ephram, can you hear me?"
No reply. Blinking weakly, his eyes were not focused on any particular object. Ephram found himself squinting at the light above him. He suddenly noticed more lights when he looked straight ahead. These were not stationary lights like the one above him. These were red and white twinkling ones that seemed to be coming from somewhere outside.
"Ephram? Honey? Can you hear me?" Nina said again. He slowly turned his head to face the woman seated next to him. She looked blurry - kind of like looking thru a pair of binoculars while adjusting the clarity knob. "Thirsty? Do you want some water?"
Ephram saw her lips move like as if she was speaking to him but he heard no sound. He blinked again and swallowed. "Come on Ephram, you're scaring me. Say something. Anything. Can you hear what I'm saying? If you can't speak then at least nod or squeeze my hand or make some kind of noise so I know you're ok." Nina felt her anxiety growing. She wondered if anything was even registering in his brain. He appeared to be in some sort of shock.
Ephram realized what annoying object was pressing down on his side making him uncomfortable. It was the woman's hand. He groaned and tried to push it off him so he could breathe. Nina easily overpowered the weak and lame boy.
"No. I have to keep that there." Nina took Ephram's blood stained hand and placed it by his side. She caught his confused stare. Judging by his blank look, she wasn't sure if he knew where he was or even who he was. "Baby. Here, have some water." Nina offered.
She brought a bottle of Evian water to his lips and tilted the container slightly. He took a few slow gulps. Seeing him able to swallow brought a smile to Nina's lips.
"How is it back there? It's awfully quiet." Andy said while eyeing the rear view mirror.
"He's drinking. He's drinking!" Nina reported.
"That's great." Andy said feeling a dash of worry being lifted from his brow.
"It worries me that he hasn't said anything yet. I'm not sure if he can hear or understand me. Andy, I think he may be in shock or something." Nina said.
"Keep trying. He'll come around." Andy said as he felt the weight of that layer of worry placed back on his shoulders.
"Ephram? Do you remember what happened to you?" Nina asked. She waited for a response from the boy after a draught of water.
He looked up at her with tired and sullen eyes like as if he didn't understand. Words and sounds weaved in and out. His brain tried to make sense of those odd bits and pieces of the noises thrown at him. Though it didn't take long for him to give up. The task was too strenuous. He didn't know which was worse - not being able to move or feel his right arm from the shoulder down or being gutted like a dead fish with the horrible twisting pain in his side. Besides, the smooth touch of Nina's delicate hand on his face and the soft feel of her clothed body made nestling closer hard to resist. He leaned his head back against Nina's shoulder and closed his eyes for a second.
"NO Ephram, you gotta stay awake. Ephram? Open your eyes!" Nina instructed. "Ephram - I won't have you do this to us. Not when we're so close. Damn it, stay awake." She shook him gently. He opened his eyes again. Ephram's good old greenish grays peered weakly into Nina's hazel eyes in a pleading manner like as if he was asking for help with his eyes.
"Hey there bright eyes." Nina cooed when she saw his eyes flutter open. "There we go. Things will be alright."
The poor kid looked like he hadn't slept in days. There were black circles under his eyes and his skin was unusually white and almost bluish from the blood loss. His dry and cracked lips were a dark shade of purple. Nina hated to think it but Ephram looked like death. She watched him draw in some air. Even his breathing sounded difficult. Nina hated seeing someone suffer this much. It made her nervous. For a lack of better things to do, Nina tried to wipe the dirty smudges off his face with a tissue.
"Ephram - do you remember what happened to you?" Nina asked again. "Hmm?"
Ephram looked at her quizzically for a moment and answered her with a slight nod of his head.
"Good!! That's good. You understood what I said!!" Nina exclaimed loud enough for Andy to hear. "He nodded!!" She shouted.
"Ok, now do you know where you are?" Nina fired the next question. The lost and confused look in the boy's eyes told Nina he did not. "Well, I suppose not since you were unconscious the whole time. We're in your dad's car right now. You see those lights up ahead?" Nina pointed to the peculiar red and white flashing lights that Ephram couldn't figure out. "Those are patrol cars. We're being escorted by the Park Rangers. They met up with us when we made it back to our campsite."
Ephram squinted at the bright lights not saying a word.
"They're taking us to a helipad near the ranger station." Nina explained. She stroked Ephram's greasy black hair.
"A heli - helicopter?" Ephram managed to stutter.
"Ah - he talks!!" Nina brimmed with excitement upon his first words. "Yes. We're going to go on a little helicopter ride to the hospital. They're waiting for us as we speak. Now, it's nothing to be scared of because we are all coming with you. We'll be right next to you holding your hand. Ok?" Nina continued. Ephram gave a short nod. She didn't have the heart to tell him how severe his injuries were that they needed to medical air lift him to the hospital. She also failed to inform him that an emergency medical team is on alert at the hospital waiting anxiously to receive and assist.
Ephram stared at the yellowish light above him, which he realized was part of his father's car. The little light was hurting his eyes so he turned his attention back to Nina.
"Your hair is messed up." Ephram suddenly said, which ultimately surprised Nina because she hadn't expected him to start up a conversation. Of all the things he could've said, he had to choose this rude comment. He wasn't sure why he said it. For a moment, he wasn't even certain if he actually said it or if he was only thinking it.
"Yes, I know. Talk about bad hair days. You are witnessing one of mine." Nina replied with an affectionate smile confirming that he was indeed thinking aloud. Nina watched Ephram's every move. "How are you holding up? Do you want more water?" Nina asked.
Ephram became mute again. He only took long stares at Nina without batting an eye. "Ephram?" Nina called with concern. He blinked and shivered.
He couldn't decide if he was hot or cold. One minute he felt feverish, and the next he felt like he was in the Arctic Circle. The thermal blanket was comfortable but hardly enough to keep him warm. The clammy dried sweat covering his body was no help in maintaining a normal body temperature.
"Are you cold?" Nina assumed and tucked the blanket securely around him. "Here. How's this?" She spread her own jacket over the blanket and pulled him closer to her to generate body heat. "Better?" She asked while trying to keep that blasted gauze pad from slipping. "Andy, he's cold. Can you turn up the heat?"
"Right. It's up a notch." Andy obeyed as he flicked a switch on the dashboard.
"Ephram? Are you still cold?" Nina inquired. No reply was given. Ephram's head fell back on the leather upholstery. He blinked feebly at Nina. Her face was starting to blur.
Her face seemed to change. He no longer saw the Nina Greeley with the frizzy blondish corn silk hair tied back into a ponytail and hazel eyes catering to his every need. Nina's smooth lightly tanned complexion and perfect red lips were gone. He saw an image of a woman with long, straight chestnut brown hair and vibrant brown eyes staring back at him. Her eyes danced when she smiled amiably at him. This woman had a familiar sweet lingering scent. It was Gaultier perfume. Suddenly, he grew extremely excited. He remembered this smell. He remembered it too well. She had a thing for French perfume. This smell can only belong to one woman - Julia Brown. His mother. He knew she was dead but he never thought about the impossibilities of actually being able to see his mother unless he, too, was about to die. Rational thinking had long escaped his mind. Ephram had so much he wanted to say to her that he knew not where to begin. He wanted to throw his arms around her and hug her. He wanted to cover her with kisses. He wanted to smell her again. He wanted to cry happy tears and tell her he loved her and was so glad to see her. But something stopped him from being too quick at his happiness.
"Momma, please don't be mad at me. I kept my promise. Really, I did." Ephram blurted to Nina.
"What? What are you talking about?" Nina was perplexed.
"You mustn't be mad at me. I kept my word." He moaned. "I did the best I could. Just like I promised. Nothing bad happened to her."
"Sweetie." Nina said. "I have no idea what you're saying."
"You're mad at me." Something inside Ephram suddenly made him sad. "I know it's my fault. It is. And you're mad at me." He started to cry softly.
"Huh?! Oh-no. No, don't cry." Nina said. "It - it's not your fault. No one's mad at you." For the sake of calming his nerves, she thought it best if she just went along with it.
"Momma - I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Momma." Ephram whimpered weakly. He realized he didn't have the energy to shed any more tears.
"How is he doing?" Andy asked with concern for an update.
"He's talking but he's not making sense." Nina shrugged. "For some reason, he's not seeing me. He sees his mother."
"Just keep him talking." Andy said while wiping droplets of sweat that were dripping down from his temples.
"Please forgive me and let me come with you? I deserve to come, don't I? You won't turn me away?" Ephram mumbled. He stared hard into Nina's eyes. "Momma?"
"Daddy, why is Ephram talking all weird and calling Nina mom?" Delia finally said watching attentively through the two front seats the whole time.
"He's in a state of delirium, Delia. Ephram is not well. He doesn't know what he's saying." Andy hoped that reason satisfied his young daughter.
Delia accepted the explanation. She scrutinized the scene in the back seat. Her brother had been wrapped with the thermal blanket and Nina's denim jacket. Nina's right hand was hidden somewhere under the covers holding the gauze on his wound. Delia wondered how bad the wound really was. More curiously, she secretly wanted to see how it looked. However, Delia couldn't stop staring at Ephram's face. He looked nothing like how she remembered. This face before her was thin, discolored, and ghastly. It scared her. The blanket failed to cover Ephram's left hand leaving it exposed to Delia's speculation. Spots of black flaky crusts of dried blood clots were smeared on the back and palm of his hand as well as under his fingernails. Some crimson color was still visible in the spaces between his fingers. It reminded Delia of how one's hands appeared after finger painting. Except in this case, instead of paint, Ephram used his own blood. Mesmerized, she stared at that bloody hand unable to turn her gaze away.
"Talk to me, momma. Let me come." Ephram mumbled when he didn't hear a reply. "Please. I love you momma."
"Momma loves you more than anything, but it's not time for you to be with me yet. You have to live here with your father and sister. They love you very much too." Nina replied impersonating the image that Ephram saw.
"I'll be good. You'll see. I promise." The boy begged.
"Ephram, you are a very good boy. I don't doubt that - ever. But you can't come with me yet. Our family still needs you. You can't give up. I forbid it." Nina continued.
Ephram turned his head to look through his window. The sky was a deep charcoal color with streaks of dark blue clouds lining across the mountaintops. He closed his eyes and swallowed a painful breath. Before Nina could agitate him further with a rough jostle in hopes of keeping the boy awake, Ephram opened his eyes again. This time, something in his eyes told her that he recognized her.
"Ephram?" Nina called softly. He gave out a moan followed by a whimper.
"Hurts." He said. It was the only word that could pass the boy's lips.
Ephram cried out in a low squeak when the car rolled over some unavoidable rocks that left the interior shaking for a few brief moments. He shut his eyes so tight that a few suspended teardrops hung on the corner of his eyes before running down his dirt smudged face.
"What!! What's happening?" Andy exclaimed when he heard the pitched scream from his son. He tried to see what was happening through the rear view mirror again.
"He's in so much pain. I wish we had something to give him to dull the pain. He's going to pass out." Nina reiterated.
Andy suddenly had an idea. He reached over to the leather glove compartment in front of where Delia sat and flipped it open. His hands ran through a bunch of folded maps, and other papers in search for his item. Keeping one hand on the steering wheel, his foot on the acceleration pedal, his eyes on the road ahead of him, and his other hand in the glove compartment madly groping among the junk that had accumulated in there over the past several weeks. Finally, under an empty old plastic sunglass case, he found it. It was hidden well. He had himself to thank for that.
He pulled out a shiny small silver flask. This precious object had sentimental value. It brought back a memory Andy always remembered. It was a gift from Julia celebrating his first year as a pre-med student.
Julia came across it during a Spring break trip to Manchester, England in her sophomore year at Columbia University. It practically screamed out "Andy Brown" the moment she set eyes on the liquor flask at a classy little shop called The Executive on Cambridge Street. It was made of genuine pewter and had a Celtic border design. Andy turned into somewhat of a liquor and spirits buff during his college years. He always enjoyed a good drink every now and then. Julia knew it. They used to joke about how important it was for the future surgeon to stay sober during an operation and all the consequences that can occur if he didn't take that precaution. And Andy retorted that there was only one way anyone could really tell if he was drunk. He told her, "When I start to rhyme or sing spoken words, be very afraid. That's how you'll know I've had just a tad bit too much to drink." They had such laughs back in the day.
Andy grabbed the flask and handed it to Nina. "Here. Give him some of this. It'll help with the pain." He said.
"What's this?" Nina asked suspiciously as she took the container.
"Brandy." Andy said innocently while shutting the glove compartment with a snap.
"You brought liquor on this trip? I can't believe you!!" Nina was appalled.
"It was supposed to be a surprise. I was saving it for us. You know, after the kids were asleep." Andy confessed.
"Geez, you're just as bad as he is." Nina felt flustered. She twisted the top of the little flask opening and put the mouth of the container to Ephram's pallid lips. "Ephram, drink this. It's for the pain." Nina spoke gently.
Ephram trusted Nina. His world was swimming in a dream-like state. Chances were, he hadn't even heard a word Nina said. He only saw that she was trying to feed him something. Ephram felt the bitter and ardent alcohol slid down his throat and esophagus after the first few swigs. He coughed up some of the liquor and choked painfully as he struggled to get the pungent liquid out of his windpipe. Ephram didn't know what awful tasting medicine she was giving him but his lungs were on fire and he really thought he was going to die.
"Oh dear!! Easy does it." Nina said trying to ease the coughing fit by rubbing the boy's back. She watched his face turn colors faster than the twinkling lights on a Christmas tree - white to red to green and back to white. "I think that's enough for you. Andy, It's doing more harm than good. I'm not giving him any more." Nina announced and hurriedly put the cap back on the flask.
"Is he alright?" Andy's voice was ridded with distress.
"Ephram?" Delia whispered. Troubled and concern, her small fingers gripped the gray leather seat close to panic. Watching her brother cough so violently was more than she could handle.
"He choked on the Brandy." Nina reported. "Baby, do you feel better?" She asked Ephram when she noticed his cough had subsided. He did not reply for he was preoccupied with drawing in oxygen.
Semi-conscious, Ephram felt the motion of the car come to a complete stop. He wasn't sure if it really had come to a stop or if it was just something he thought he felt. Someone scooped him up and it was like he was walking on air. Wind. He felt wind blowing against his face. He heard a loud swooshing noise. Helicopter blades? Then someone placed him on something soft and covered him with a blanket that made his skin itchy. Wool. He heard muffled incoherent sounds. Human communication. A lot of voices surrounded him. Barely able to open his eyes, he felt someone put something over his mouth and nose. It smelt like plastic but there was a thin passage of air that came through it each time he sucked in a breath.
The burning sensation - from ingesting the horrible tasting liquid - in his innards had diminished. He actually felt better. The pain had almost disappeared from his system. Ephram wondered what kind of miracle elixir Nina had given him because whatever it was, it seemed to have worked. He felt detached from his body, like he was floating in midair. Levitating. Maybe it was from the helicopter lifting off the ground. He couldn't tell. All he knew was, it felt like his soul had been magically suspended in the air leaving his body behind. He felt free.
He was dying.
* end of chapter 3 *
A/N: What will happen next? Will the hero of our story survive or will there be another funeral in the Brown's near future? Stay tuned!
PS - thanks to all of you who have read/reviewed my fic so far. I appreciate it very much!!