Chapter 5: Crossroads of Life
Day three at the hospital. Andy would like to keep pretending that things were going well. Ephram had his fleeting moments of consciousness every so often. Delia had the chance to carry on a conversation with her brother – in which case she did most of the talking. Nina was granted the endless opportunity of fussing over the boy in trying to make him as comfortable as possible. Andy, Nina, and Delia did all the talking while Ephram did most of the listening. They knew the boy was short of breath and would rather keep his replies curt and to the point. So a series of "yes" and "no" answers were expected.
Everyone gave Ephram the benefit of the doubt and fooled themselves into thinking that he was improving and on the way to a speedy recovery. They often spoke in the future tense to discourage any negativity. Andy painted dramatic pictures of taking a vacation back to New York very soon because he knew Ephram was a passionate New Yorker and that was the sort of thing he relished. Nina described all the delicious new recipes she'd been working on to debut at Momma Joy's and how much it would mean to her if Ephram could be her official taste tester. She even told him she would name a dish after him once she revises the menu. Delia promised Ephram they would do all sorts of activities together and from now on whenever they played Monopoly, Ephram could be the racecar.
Andy envied the relationship between Ephram and Delia. He wished so much to be part of that closeness but he knew he had to earn it from his children. And judging from his past mistakes, that wasn't going to happen overnight. He often observed their interactions from afar and took mental notes. Some would say it seemed like he treated his kids like lab rats and still others would say he paid good attention to his kids but either way, Andy wanted to have that special bond with his children again and watching them was a superior way to start. Andy found one peculiar aspect throughout his behavioral studies that he couldn't quite explain. Andy had to admit that although his kids were very accustomed to their CD-Rom and Playstation games, there was one game they were magnetically drawn to. It was an old board game called Monopoly.
It was very rare that kids today would even touch something as old- fashioned as a board game. Welcome to the world of cyberspace and the age of electronics. One would most likely find youngsters glued to their computer monitors or television screens playing some three dimensional, image enhanced video game bombarded with special effects. Sure, Ephram and Delia had those days but on occasion, they would set up the old Monopoly game board across the living room floor and start fighting over who gets the racecar token. The racecar was something Ephram and Delia always fought over as far as Andy could remember. He couldn't place the significance of the token even though he was dying to know. Perhaps within time, he will discover that reason.
Although he tried to appear strong, Ephram looked increasingly helpless lying in that big hospital bed with a face that was growing paler than the white bed sheets by the moment and which didn't go unnoticed by Andy and Nina. They had doubts regarding his condition but kept a chin-up and convinced themselves that he was going to be fine. Delia was the true optimist of the group. She rid her system of all negativity and turned into a chatterbox in front of Ephram. Ephram loved hearing his sister's sweet voice but most times, she was talking so fast that he couldn't process what she was saying and her words usually went in one ear and out the other. He just smiled and stared attentively to be polite. Andy often sensed this and slowed Delia down. Ephram didn't entirely dislike the attention he was getting. He would be lying if he said he wasn't. It was the one time everyone seemed to bend over backwards for him. He was the fallen warrior.
Andy sat at his usual spot next to his son's bed watching the boy sleep. He was glad Ephram was resting and recharging himself. The boy was breaking and melting the hearts of everyone he came into contact with.
An episode that happened earlier in the day played continuously in Andy's mind. Nina had to accompany Delia to the ladies room and the minute the door closed with a click, Ephram turned to Andy with the most heart- wrenching question anyone can pose. Ephram asked in a sincere and innocent voice, "Dad, why is everyone being so nice to me? Is it because I'm going to die?" Hearing these mortifying words come out of his child was like applying salt to a wound. Andy's heart was enveloped with such pain and malaise. Ephram's penetrating greenish gray eyes and vulnerable aura made the boy suddenly look five years younger. Andy held in his battered heart and replied, "What?! Of course not! Can't we be nice to you because you deserve it?" The reply seemed to silence Ephram.
* Why would Ephram burden himself with such a thought? Why didn't he think he deserved kindness? Why did he think there was a catch to it? Did it really take something like this to happen to realize how valuable a life is and how we took things for granted?* Andy questioned himself. There was a constant gnawing of worry in his gut that revolved around Ephram's health.
Andy witnessed Ephram's weak moment. It happened on the first dressing change of Ephram's wounds. Andy caught a glimpse of the patch-up work done on Ephram's side when the nurse removed the old bandage. Since the skin had been torn apart so severely, extra skin was needed to mend the raw areas. Hence, skin was taken from the boy's thigh and grafted onto the gashes so the wounds may heal properly. Uneven sheets of slightly bloated skin surrounding the stitches were a combination of pink and lavender as a result from being recently transplanted. Although the puffiness of the inflamed area will disappear within time, the scarring will no doubt remain. Appearing like a row of clear-colored miniature staples, the stitches were visibly placed one right after the other – very neatly and carefully done. Although the stitching was superbly finished, the aftermath of the surgery looked far worse than the initial injury sustained. Andy felt tingly all over just looking at it. Though, it may be a grotesque sight for someone who wasn't mentally prepared. One would find it sickening enough to induce vomit. Andy was glad Delia and Nina were out of the room at the time.
Ephram was obedient and cooperative during the applying of the thick antibiotic ointment and changing of the bandages. He was cautioned not to look down at his wound, as the deformity may be unnerving. Andy distracted Ephram from his curiosities with amusing med school stories. After the nurse was finished with Ephram's side, she proceeded to tend to the wound on his right shoulder. In order to change the bandage on his shoulder, Ephram had to be rolled onto his side. With Andy's help, Ephram was strategically shifted onto his side. The pressure applied to the left side of his torso caused the boy to let out a loud and unexpected shriek, which gave Andy a startle. The pain appeared so intense that Andy feared his son would pass out on the spot. Andy did everything in his power to both support the weight of Ephram's upper body as well as keep the vital wires and tubes from detaching while the nurse changed the dressing. Sobs rattled Ephram's speech as he begged his father to make the pain go away. Andy tried to comfort his son and explained how necessary it was to change the bandage and keep the wound clean. But the more he talked, the harder Ephram cried. Andy made a reminder to increase Ephram's dosage of painkillers so the poor kid didn't have to go through this everyday.
Andy found it hard to tear himself away from the boy's bedside. In the event that Ephram should wake, he didn't want him to see that he wasn't there. Andy's time was whittled away by playing with Ephram's long knobby fingers as he sat in silence watching Ephram sleep. After several hours, Andy decided it was time to take a break and see what Nina and Delia were doing. Besides, it was way passed dinnertime and the noises coming from his empty stomach were no consolation.
He found his way to the hospital's cafeteria and spotted Nina and Delia sitting at a table near the window. They were sitting face to face and seemed to be talking quietly to each other.
"Mmm. Chocolate pudding." Andy said observing the half empty containers of Jell-o pudding snacks on the table.
"Some say chocolate is the ultimate comfort food. We got you one too." Nina said presenting a fresh container of chocolate pudding and a plastic spoon. She slid it across the table and parked it in front of Andy when he took his seat next to Delia.
"Thanks. Just what I needed." Andy gladly took the dessert. "How are you doing sweetheart?" He asked Delia, who was quietly licking the pudding off her spoon.
"Fine, I guess." She replied.
"Andy, the Park Ranger that helped us the other night – Swanson, I think his name was – came by looking for you. I told him you were with Ephram." Nina stated as she scooped a generous spoonful of pudding into her mouth.
"Oh? What did he want?" Andy questioned curiously.
"He just wanted to know your boy was doing. He also wanted to let you know that he and a few of the other rescue workers gathered our camping gear from the campsite and loaded everything into your car. As a favor, they drove your car to Denver. It's being kept at the Denver Sheriff's Station until you're able to pick it up."
"Really? That was nice of them. See, that sort of thing would never happen in New York. Never. In New York, you would never see the camping equipment again and the car would've been striped clean at some chop shop in the Bronx." Andy pulled the foil off the pudding container.
"Sounds cold. You city folk totally underestimate us town folk. We are good people."
"I'm not saying you aren't. It just takes some getting used to." Andy crammed a helping of chocolate pudding into his mouth. "I'm not used to kindness."
Andy actually heard himself when he said those words – "I'm not used to kindness." Although, Andy meant it half as a joke, he thought back to Ephram's earlier comment about there being a catch to everyone being so nice to him. He realized he'd just hit the hammer right on the nail. Ephram was not used to kindness.
"Well then, you've got a lot to learn, Dr. Brown." Nina teased.
"I guess so. I'll give Ranger Swanson a call later to thank him." Andy decided. "So Delia, what did you have for dinner?"
"Fish sticks, scalloped potatoes and peas. Nina made me eat the peas." Delia replied unexcitedly. "I hate peas. But it's better than beets."
"And did you finish all your vegetables?" Andy inquired looking squarely at his young daughter to see if her reply was truthful.
"Yea, I did." Delia said innocently.
"She did. Took her a whole fifteen minutes but she finished it." Nina vouched.
"That's my good girl." Andy complimented Delia with a tight squeeze across her shoulders.
"You know, Ephram loves to eat fish sticks. We used to eat a lot of that back in New York. I remember all those TV dinners we used to eat when mom didn't have time to cook. Ephram's favorite was the fish sticks. I think it was called Fish N Chips – or something." Delia reminisced. She seemed a bit more cheerful ever since she had a conversation with her brother. It was a real treat for her considering the circumstances.
Andy really couldn't say he remembered because the truth was, he missed out. An unaccountable chunk of his life had been taken away from him. He may as well have been abducted by aliens one day and returned to earth 10 years later. He missed the spoils of watching his children grow up. The past year and a half was spent getting to know his kids all over again.
"I didn't know that. I'm sure he likes chocolate pudding too." Andy said as he watched Delia finish the last of her pudding.
"He does. He loves anything chocolate." Delia sparked while scraping every last ounce of pudding that was stuck to the bottom and sides of the container.
"Seems he ain't the only one. Chocolate-itis must definitely run in the family." Andy observed. "Here, why don't you go get another?" He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a wrinkled five-dollar bill. "And while you're at it, get me a cheeseburger." Delia took the money and left the table quite content.
"Ephram's still sleeping?" Nina asked Andy after they were left alone.
"Yea. He's amazing. Did you notice the how he was trying to act fine and dandy in front of us today? It's so obvious that something's not right. It's like he's lost the wise-ass, smart aleck spunk that I'm so used to. His spirit is just not completely there."
"Of course his spirit is a little weak. He barely survived the massive surgery done on his body. It's gonna take time for Ephram to be Ephram again. I know you're anxious for him to recover and it's a normal feeling. One day at a time. OK?" Nina replied catching a nod from Andy.
"Can you believe he lost nearly half the blood in his body?" Andy shook his head in dismay. "Seeing him lying there on that bed breaks my heart. It hurts, Nina. It really does." He vented.
"I know. It breaks my heart too." Nina sympathized.
"If you only knew how agonizing it was to watch him writhe in pain when his bandages were being changed. It must've been hurting something fierce because he cried so terribly. I don't think I've ever witnessed Ephram cry like that. It's scary."
"I can imagine. I wish there was something more I can do to make Ephram feel better."
"I appreciate your thoughtfulness. You know, come to think of it, I never really did get the chance to say Thanks. You've been such a great friend in taking care of Delia, helping Ephram – and looking after me." Andy smiled. "So, thanks."
"Don't mention it." Nina reddened. "Us town folk are known to be compassionate."
"Have you spoken to Sam?" Andy changed the direction of the conversation.
"Yea. Talked to him this afternoon. My mom took him to the opening of the Everwood Botanical Gardens today. They have all these kid activities there like face painting, balloon art, clowns, and games. He told me all about it. Excited as he sounded, I don't think he'll be able to sleep tonight."
"You should go home tomorrow. There's a 10 o'clock bus that leaves the depot for Everwood in the morning. I would drive you back but well, you know. My family problems have kept you here long enough. You need to be with Sam." Andy offered.
"Andy, are you trying to get rid of me?" Nina joked and finally got a laugh out of Andy for the first time that day.
"No, I'm just saying." Andy began.
"When a friend needs a helping hand, you don't just abandon him. Friends don't do that. Maybe where you come from people are cruel. Or maybe they just don't want to get their hands dirty. The big "mind your own business" and "I'm an independent" thing. You think as soon as you hit that bump in the road, you're left in the dust to fend for yourself. It's not like that here. Small town people are known to be quite stubborn but we are a community. We clump together when the going gets tough. I think that's what makes us so strong. I know you don't want me to leave. You need a friend - more so than ever especially under so much stress. And I'm here for you to lean on." Nina spoke with confidence.
"I – I don't know what to say." Andy stammered. He played with the empty pudding container.
"You don't have to say anything. Just don't push away those who are trying to help you."
"I'll bet Sam misses you."
"Do you know what he said when I explained to him why I couldn't come home yet? He said, 'Mommy, don't worry about me. I can take care of myself. I'm a big boy now. Besides, Grandma's here to play with me.' I'm sure my mom is spoiling him with all sorts of candy and junk food as we speak. Anyway, my point is, Sam is in good hands. He's pretty mature for a five-year old." Nina said. "Oh by the way, my mom sends her love and hope Ephram's going to be ok."
At this moment, Delia hopped back with a foil wrapped cheeseburger and a container of pudding cradled in her arms. The sound of loose coins tinkered against the wood when she placed the change on the table. She climbed into her chair and opened her second dessert.
After spending a nice calming hour in the cafeteria talking and just hanging out, Andy, Nina, and Delia decided to go up and visit Ephram one more time before heading off to bed. The big silver double doors of the elevator slid open on the third floor. The threesome stepped out and walked casually down the hall still joking about how the cheeseburger Andy ate smelt a tad bit like a wet sock. Several nurses in white uniforms went unnoticed as they scurried passed the three visitors in the same direction and sped down the hall.
They had a hunch that something was amiss when they heard a chatter of tense conversation and stern instructions thrown around between a more few ICU nurses as they sprung into animation. To Andy, seeing the busy activity was a normal routine. It was ICU and everything here was intense. Working the Intensive Care Unit was the most stressful job next to working the Emergency Room. The pressure was drowning and the nurses had to really know their stuff - especially when they were presented with all types of challenging emergencies – from people suddenly going into cardiac arrest to hemorrhaging to respiratory failure. Andy gave the nurses a lot of credit.
Andy saw a short chubby nurse whizzing by with a quickened pace. Her white Keds sneakers gave a sharp squeak as the rubber soles created traction against the slippery tiled floor. He started to inquire about the emergency at hand but she cut him off and made it clear that she didn't have the time to stop for a chat. Andy understood and didn't hold it against her.
Much to their surprise, there was only one nurse seen at the nurse's station. The area was usually swarming with nurses. Where did everyone go? Andy walked up to the front desk where a young nurse in a blue uniform with a stethoscope draped around her neck was nervously fidgeting with the clipboard in her hands. She appeared to be frantically scanning it for some patient information. Her medium length blond hair was gelled back into a ponytail. A few gold Bobbie pins tucked neatly on each side of her head prevented any hair from straying.
"Nurse, what type of emergency we got tonight?" Andy asked curiously. The nurse looked up at the man who appeared to be a visitor. Speechless, she gave Andy a puzzled look. "Oh, I'm Dr. Brown. You probably didn't recognize me without my lab coat." Andy added. He fished in his pocket to find his ID tag. Once he got a hold of it, he pulled it out and clipped it onto his breast pocket.
"Oh! Sorry Dr. Brown." She squinted at the tag to verify Andy's identity. "Just got transferred over from Cardiology this morning. I'm kinda new here."
"That's ok, um Nurse Freemont." Andy read the name off her plastic lapel pin above the left pocket of her uniform.
"Please, it's Kathy." She said nonchalantly and brought her attention back to her clipboard. "I'd forgotten how hectic it was over at ICU and they left the newbie to hold down the fort."
"Yes. I see. So, Kathy, where is everybody anyway?" Andy asked amiably with Nina and Delia looking on quietly.
"We had a code blue. Patient in room 306 went into cardiac arrest. All the nurses rushed to the scene to – "Nurse Freemont started.
"Waitaminute - did you say room 306?" Andy interrupted as the color was immediately drained from his face. His eyes shook with fear and the blood in his veins ran cold.
"Yes – room 306." Nurse Freemont stammered not sure what was going on.
"It can't be!! Room 306 – that's Ephram's room!!" Andy yelled and looked wildly at Nina, who had her hand cupped over her mouth in shock. He turned back to the nurse. "How long ago was this? Are they still in there with him?" He demanded.
"Well, we - we got the code about six minutes ago. The patient stopped breathing." By the time the nurse finished her sentence, Andy was already seen running down the hall towards room 306. His heart was pounding in his chest. Blood was rushing to his ears.
"I don't understand." Nurse Freemont said looking at Nina.
"It's his son. His son is in room 306." Nina's voice shook.
"Oh no!" Nurse Freemont gasped.
*Oh dear God – no. No. No. No. No. This can't be happening. Tell me this is a dream. She didn't say room 306. She didn't. There must be some sort of mistake. Ephram's ok. He has to be. * Andy's head reeled as he approached his son's room.
Andy felt numb as he looked through the large glass window. About half a dozen nurses hovered over Ephram trying desperately to resuscitate him and draw oxygen back into his lifeless body. Andy's suddenly heart turned into a chunk of metal and could almost feel it falling to the floor. His world spun around in a dizzying frenzy. Time froze and he couldn't move. He wanted to burst through those doors and assist, but his feet were rooted into the floor. Fear, shock, and pain shot through his body.
With his nose almost touching the large Plexiglass window, he watched the scene unfold inside room 306. His heavy breath on the glass created a fog. He saw the nurses administer CPR and when that didn't work they proceeded with electrical cardioversion to deliver a synchronized electrical shock to restore heart rhythm. The paddles of the defibrillator were gelled and the hospital gown covering Ephram's torso was ripped open exposing his bare chest. Monitor leads and conductor pads were attached to the upper torso. The energy level was selected. Andy was able to hear the shouts coming from the room.
"Charging defibrillator. Stand Clear." The first nurse yelled seriously as she pressed a button on the paddle. "I'll shock on the count of three. One, I'm clear." She said professionally as she checked herself for contact with the patient. "Two, you're clear." She checked those around her for contact. "Three, everybody is clear." She said checking herself again before continuing. The left paddle was placed on the sternum and the right paddle on the apex of the chest as the nurse pressed the discharge buttons on the paddles simultaneously.
Images of Ephram's life flashed before him – from past to present. One of the last images he saw was of his son's sweet and innocent boyish face grinning mischievously at him with gleaming greenish gray eyes like as if it was his way of saying good-bye without actually saying a word. Then without hesitation, Ephram turned his back on Andy and quickly faded away. "NO! Come back!!" Andy heard himself screaming at the disappearing image. He wasn't sure if his vision blurred because of the tears welling up in his eyes or if he was about to faint. Cloudy. He felt himself swaying on his feet.
*
Andy watched his son's scrawny body break into spasms with each jolt of electricity. The nurses repeated the procedure two more times before giving up. The monitor showed a flat line.
It was over. Andy saw the solemn looks on the nurses' faces as they hung their heads down in remorse. They turned off the machines and pulled the electrodes off Ephram's still body. The head nurse caught a glimpse of the boy's father looking through the window. She whispered to another nurse diligently before exiting the room to speak to Andy. He did not see the nurse approaching him. His eyes were glued to his son's expired body.
* Ephram is not dead. He can't be dead. He's not dead!! I won't believe it. * Andy repeated in his mind.
Andy stared at the torn polka dotted hospital gown revealing Ephram's gaunt pallid frame. The boy's complexion was an immediate shade of blue. It was surprising how quickly the life gets sucked out of a body once all vital functions cease. It was like as if all the life force had left his body in a puff of smoke. Ephram's eyes were half open in a fixed stare directed at the ceiling. Andy couldn't bring himself to believing that it was his son in there.
"Dr. Brown?" The nurse materialized by his side. Andy did not take his face away from the glass.
* Please wake up. Please. I know you can. Don't do this. Wake up damn it. Wake up!! * Andy thought as the horror swept through his body.
"Dr. Brown?" The nurse repeated. "I'm so sorry. He didn't make it. We did all we could. TOD was 9:52 pm." She spoke sadly as she wiped off the sweat that had accumulated on her shiny forehead with the back of her sleeve.
* Time of death? Why is she telling me the time of death? Ephram is still alive. He's still breathing. He is!! * Andy denied.
He turned to the nurse with tears flowing down his cheeks. "NO." He choked.
"I'm sorry." She said with sympathy. "If there's anything I can do – "She began to say. The nurse had short brown hair and a pair of rouge colored thin lips. The fine wrinkles at the corner of her eyes formed a crow's-foot making her look older than she appeared. Andy remembered her hardened eyes. They were the eyes of a true nurse – eyes that have seen more than their share of turmoil.
Andy watched the remaining nurses in Ephram's room finishing the last procedures. A nurse placed her hand gently over Ephram's staring eyes and closed them. She then pulled a sheet over the boy's head. That same nurse turned to her colleague, mumbled a few words and shook her head from side to side in dismay.
The white sheet outlined the contours of Ephram's frail body. It was really Ephram lying under that sheet. He wasn't going to get up. He wasn't coming back. Andy felt a sharp pain in his chest as the realization settled into his brain. He backed away from the glass window until he was back-to-back against the wall. The pain in his chest increased making it hard to breathe. Hyperventilating, he grabbed at his chest.
"Dr. Brown, are you alright?" The nurse asked worriedly. Andy only slid to the floor with his back still against the wall. "Dr. Brown!! What's wrong? Is it your heart?" The nurse asked frantically as she crouched next to Andy.
All Andy could do was cover his hands on his eyes and bawl. "He can't die! He's not supposed to die!!" He blubbered. "What am I going to do?"
The nurse held him in a tight and soothing embrace as a few visitors looked on with bewildered curiosity.
*
"Dr. Brown." A voice called. Engulfed in his own turmoil, Andy did not hear the voice.
"Dr. Brown?" The voice said again. Andy's attention snapped back when he felt someone touch his arm. He turned towards the source of the voice and found the nurse with the wrinkled eyes looking back at him. "Wow, seems like you were miles away there for a minute." She smiled. Her rouge lips curled up revealing her coffee-stained straight teeth.
* Why is she smiling at me? Why is she so happy when my son has died? * Andy thought with outrage running through his system. He was appalled at the nurse for being so heartless.
"Huh?" Andy said as he submerged from a dream state.
"Ah! He talks!! What a relief! I thought you were going catatonic on me." The nurse joked. Catatonic – that was actually funny. Technically, it was a good doctor joke and Andy definitely had to remember it so he could use it on someone else. But a joke was highly inappropriate under the circumstances.
"What?" Andy said in confusion.
"I was asking you if you wanted to accompany us to radiology but you didn't hear me. It was like you turned into a zombie or something. You didn't even blink. The lights were on but nobody was home. I was starting to worry about you." The nurse smiled again.
"Radiology? Why am I needed at Radiology? Can't you see, my son just died?" Andy's voice faltered. His eyes were wet.
"What are you talking about?" The nurse said quaintly.
"My son Ephram. He's dead. I saw him die." Andy stifled a sob.
"What? No he's not. Dr. Brown, are you alright?" The nurse asked with budding concern. She was just as confused as he was. Did he not see what was going on through the window? He'd been standing there for a long time watching the action. Andy was a doctor – how could he not differentiate a positive versus a negative outcome.
"He's gone. My boy is gone." Andy cupped his hand over his mouth to prevent sobs from escaping.
"You've got it all wrong. I don't know what gave you the idea that your son is dead. Ephram is very much alive." The nurse quipped.
"What? W-What do you mean?" He said.
"Why don't you see for yourself? Look." The nurse pointed to the window.
Andy looked through the glass again and saw a totally different scene. The necessary tubes and electrodes were still attached to Ephram's body. The boy was unconscious but the bedside monitor showed his heart rhythm had been restored. A breathing tube was placed into Ephram's mouth with the end of the tube connected to a manual resuscitator or a breathing bag. It was quite obvious that the boy was not able to breathe on his own. Nurses were scattered around the room organizing all the machines that he was attached to for patient transport. Several nurses pulled Ephram systematically onto a gurney.
"He's alive?" Andy observed. "But how? How is this possible? I saw – I saw." He rubbed his eyes. "He was dead. Am I dreaming? Or is this some kind of sick joke?"
"I don't know what you mean. Ephram's heart failed. When CPR didn't work, we used the defibrillator. We were thought he was a goner for sure but he came back on the third try. Considering the extent of the injuries, that is one tough kid you got there." The nurse praised.
"Ephram's NOT dead!! Thank God!!!" Andy exclaimed. His jubilant shout bounced off the tiled floors and echoed down the hall. He was so ecstatic with joy and new hope that he'd forgotten the hospital's golden rule of being quiet and lowering your voices. His tone was full of relief and salvation as the truth surfaced and he realized that his son wasn't dead. Witnessing Ephram's death was unexplainable. He swore he saw his son die. Maybe it was a cruel dream. Or his mind playing tricks on him. Perhaps it was Satan's evil doing – giving him a taste of his deepest and darkest fear. Either way, it was so real that it completely blew Andy away.
"We've managed to get him somewhat stabilized. Now, we're getting ready to wheel him to radiology to get chest X-rays. Make sure his lungs are ok." The nurse clarified.
Without warning, Andy threw his arms around the nurse. "I love you! I love you! I love you!!" He cried with exaltation. "Thank you so much!!"
"Oh my!!" The nurse squealed awkwardly as he lifted her up by the shoulders and swung her around in a hug. "Oh dear!! Put me down." She blushed. "Honest to God, I think I'm too old for this type of thing."
"Sorry. I didn't mean to sweep you off your feet like that." Andy ended the embrace and placed the nurse back onto solid ground.
"Whew! What a ride!" The nurse gasped. She smiled making the crow's feet at the corner of her eyes even more prominent. "Dr. Brown. As much as I would love to take all the credit, I must admit that it was a team effort. You'll have to give each of the nurses in there a hug too." She laughed wholeheartedly.
"Yes – Yes!! You're right!! I must remember to do that." Andy babbled.
"Ok then." The nurse agreed.
The door to Ephram's room opened and a young red headed nurse poked her head out. "Dr. Brown. Agnes." She spoke with a hint of a southern accent. "Y'all ready to go to radiology?" She questioned as the other nurses wheeled the gurney out the door.
"Yes. Oh! I forgot about Nina and Delia!!" Andy suddenly recalled leaving them behind at the nurse's station.
He turned around to see Nina and Delia approaching. Nina was holding Delia's hand and leading her down the hall. They stopped midway when they saw the gurney with Ephram lying motionless on top wheeled out of the room. He was covered with plastic tubing and an array of devices that helped preserve his life. Nina clasped both hands to cover her trembling lips. Unfamiliar with medical procedures, she could only imagine Ephram's current condition by witnessing the scene before her. It was heartbreaking and unsightly. She stood her ground and waited for Andy to tell her the crushing news. And no matter what he says, she will bravely refrain from crying. But she knew it would only be a lie.
For Delia, it was different. She didn't understand why they were taking Ephram out of his room. She came to the conclusion that it could only mean one thing – something bad. The horrific notion of really losing her brother grabbed her by the heart and refused to let go. Delia was stricken with so much grief that her whole body felt numb. The first to go were her knees.
"Delia! Sweetheart, are you ok?" Nina's tense voice demanded when she saw the young girl sink to the floor. Nina kneeled down beside Delia. "Delia? Baby? Are you alright??" Nina fired thinking Delia was fainting at the overwhelming situation.
Petrified and nauseous, Delia lost her voice. She stuck her fingers in her mouth as tears gushed down her face in messy streams. The moans that came out of her mouth sounded like a sick calf. Upon seeing her breakdown, Andy raced to Delia's aid. He told the nurses to proceed with bringing Ephram to radiology and that he would meet them there in a while.
"Delia, honey?" Nina called in concern. The girl gave no response. She only stared at the spot where she'd just seen an unconscious Ephram lying in the gurney flat on his back. Nina rubbed Delia's back and smoothed the girl's hair to get her attention but nothing seemed to work. Andy arrived at the scene. "Andy! What's going on? Ephram. Is he -?" Nina panicked.
"Ephram went into cardiac arrest. He flat lined but the nurses brought him back. He's being taken to get chest X-rays right now." Andy summed it up quickly. He turned to Delia. "Delia? Baby, it's ok. Everything's going to be fine." He coached but nothing seemed to soothe the terrified girl.
Andy tried to pick Delia up but she refused to budge from her spot on the floor. Drinking her own tears as she sucked on her fingers, she continued to make grunting sounds while choking on her tears. Eventually, the commotion caught the attention of some nurses and orderlies passing by.
"She's in shock. Why don't you go see about Ephram and I'll take care of her?" Nina suggested. "She'll be ok."
Andy hesitated for a minute before saying to Delia, "Sweetheart, I'm going to be right back. I promise, ok?" She didn't feel the kiss he placed on her wet cheek. Andy reluctantly left for the elevator doors.
"Come here, Delia." Nina scooped the girl up and carried her in her arms. Delia wrapped her arms around Nina's neck. With a mixture of both Nina and her own hair caught in her mouth, Delia's tears did not surrender and sobbed loudly. "That's a good girl. Shhh. It's going to alright. Calm down baby. Breathe. That's it." Nina lulled as she walked to the waiting room ignoring the attention from the people she had acquired.
It was passed 10 pm and the waiting room was deserted. Nina had the seat of her choice. She picked a row of private seats in the corner and sat down. Delia was still clutching her tightly and weeping into Nina's T-shirt, which had already been dampened with the young girl's tears.
"I can't!! I just can't!!" Delia sobbed.
"What do you mean?" Nina was surprised at Delia's outburst.
"He's dead!! He's dead. I can't go through this again."
"Delia. Ephram's not dead. He was taken to get chest X-rays." Nina reasoned. But apparently this girl was too smart for her.
"I saw him. I saw him. This was not routine. Something happened. His heart stopped. Something went wrong." Her shoulders heaved after each breath. "First mom, then now Ephram."
"Alright. I can't lie to you. His heart did stop working but the nurses brought him back. Ephram's alive. They had to bring him to get X-rays done so they can get more information on how to help him better." Nina gave Delia an affectionate squeeze across the shoulders.
"Nina, I love Ephram. I love him so much. He's the only one in the world that understands me. I can't loose him." She looked up to meet Nina's eyes.
"And you won't loose him. Because he's a fighter. He won't let you down. It may take him a while to get back to 100% but he's not the type who gives up." Nina wasn't sure if she should be telling Delia this but she prayed that she was right.
"This can't be happening. Nina, please wake me up. I know I'm in a nightmare right now. I know it!!" Delia's body shook as she choked on her sobs. "I was just talking to Ephram this morning. And he was even smiling at me. He looked like he was getting better. How could this happen?? It's not possible!!" She rambled and sucked the mucus back up her nose.
"I know. Baby, I know. I can't believe it either. Just try to relax. I'll hold you as long as you want me to." Nina promised. Delia sobbed in the comfort of Nina's arms.
Just when Nina thought Delia's hysterics was calming, she heard the girl whisper, "He did it to save me. And I did nothing to save him. What kind of person am I?"
"What are you saying Delia? He saved your life but you also help save his. Don't you see? Without your help, by the time anyone found Ephram, it would've been too late. He was lost and wounded in the woods and no one knew where he was or which direction he took. Thanks to your quick wit and trail of M&M's, we found him just in time." Nina said. "He is your savior and you are his savior. The bond between you both is so strong that's kind of like a sixth sense. You can feel his force and he can feel your force without realizing it. It was fate that made us go in the right direction that night. We have you to thank."
"I don't feel very heroic right now. I feel torn up in side. Like – like I don't want to live any more." She sighed.
"Don't say that, sweetie. Ephram wouldn't want you saying such things." Nina shot back. Delia shrugged.
No one could deny the truth. They knew he was weak but Ephram's little touch-and-go incident proved that he was weaker than anyone could possibly imagine. It was the source of everyone's concern. Hope was definitely something everyone could use more of. But at times, hope just seemed pointless. No one knew what was in store for young Ephram. No one knew God's big plan.
*~*~*~*~*
Andy found himself glued to Ephram's bedside once again. After the chest X- rays, Ephram was brought back to his room at the intensive care. The boy's appearance slightly worsened by the addition of a breathing tube shoved down Ephram's throat to assist in artificial respiration. A piece of tape was adhered around his neck and mouth to hold the tube in place. An intimidating mechanical respirator was parked beside the bed. He stared at the large unit with eyes tracing the course of the big blue tubes. The thick tube was connected to another smaller tube and made its way into Ephram's mouth. He imagined the air being pushed into Ephram's weak lungs.
Andy silently watched his son in his deep sleep. His desire to continuously tell Ephram how much he loved him exceeded his ability. Grief had taken hold of his tongue numerous times. It may have been useless to constantly repeat himself in front on the unconscious boy but in the end, he had nothing more to beg of his son.
The gap left between the breathing tube and Ephram's mouth allowed an occasional messy trickle of saliva to escape from the corner of his mouth. Andy spent the past two hours wiping away Ephram's saliva with a handkerchief. When he wasn't doing that, he was stroking his son's soft cheek gently with the back of his index finger. Ephram showed no signs of responding to his father's touch.
The door creaked open slowly. It was Nina. She came into the room and closed the door carefully behind her. She felt Andy's strong arduous presence. It was apparent that watching his son helplessly was eating him up yet he still refused to let his weakness show. His hardened face buried his frustrations well. Nina, on the other hand, was an emotional wreck. Perhaps Andy's reason for being so passive was because he'd seen this type of thing on a daily basis. For Nina, she had never seen the inside of an actual intensive care unit until this thing happened with Ephram. There was nothing glamorous and tidy about the whole atmosphere as was portrayed by movies and television. The real intensive care unit was an intense and horrific environment enough to make anyone nervous. Machines and the various contraptions that crowded the small room were complex and domineering. And a raw distinctive smell emanating from a combination of drugs, plastic, disinfectant and biological excretions swirled in the air of this tiny room. The room was silenced by bleeps and whooshing sounds made by the ventilator pumping air. The most emotional impact stemmed from seeing someone she knew lying in that bed with a draining life force that was only survived artificially by those devices around him. It made her skin crawl. She was a sack of tears ready to explode at the sight of Ephram's life hanging by a thread.
"Andy?" Nina's sensitive voice said softly as she walked towards the bed. She watched Andy dab the corner of his handkerchief on Ephram's chin to wipe away the dribble.
"Nina – "Andy looked up. Nina had expected Andy to be in complete control of the situation. On the contrary, she found a totally different Andy looking back at her. Tears immediately welled up in Andy's tired gray eyes. Without saying a word, he broke into loud sobs.
"Hey. Andy." Nina placed an arm around Andy's broad convulsing shoulders.
"He's worse off now than he was before." He choked.
"Let's take a break and get some fresh air." Nina insisted after witnessing Andy's outburst. "Come on, you need to stretch your legs." She pulled Andy up and led him out of the room.
Andy and Nina ducked into the emergency exit stairway to get some privacy from all the nurses milling around. Andy took a seat on the top step and Nina sat beside him. He hung his head down and sobbed into his hands.
"Andy, it'll be alright." Nina tried to soothe his pain.
"I'm a doctor and there is not a damn thing I can do for him."
"That's not true. As far as I know, you're doing more for him than you know. Ephram needs your presence the most right now. And you've stuck by his side from the start."
"Julia has already slipped through my fingertips and now this. I don't have the strength anymore. I'm loosing my faith in Ephram. Nina, I don't know what to do." He sobbed some more.
"I'll admit that he looks ghastly at the moment. Anyone who saw him would think he has a very little chance of pulling through but he's escaped death twice. Do you think he'll throw in the towel so easily? It's important that you don't lose faith in Ephram. I'm not giving up on him and neither should you of all people."
"Do you know what I've been doing for the last two hours? I've been sitting in there wiping the drool off his face." Andy's voice quivered. He shook his head. "It's not supposed to end up like this. How I could allow this to happen? I was supposed to protect him. We should never have gone camping. He doesn't even like camping. I forced him to go."
"Don't feel guilty for wanting to spend time with your children. You meant well. No one expected anything bad was going to happen. You can't hold yourself responsible for this. Ephram sure doesn't and neither does Delia. Delia blames herself in fact." Nina caught Andy's eyes.
"Delia? No. She didn't do anything wrong. Where is she now?" Andy said in alarm.
"You don't need to worry. I convinced her that no one was to blame for what happened to Ephram. The poor girl's sleeping. I asked the nurse on duty to keep an eye on her."
Andy breathed a relieved sigh. He stared at the speck of black dried gum stuck to the descending step in front of him.
"Ephram is the most devoted boy I know. He's courageous and brave. He was willing to sacrifice his life for his sister. I don't know of anyone that would've done what he did." Nina said after a pause.
"Well, that boy has always been selfless." Andy began but stopped short. His drive was gone.
"Andy – you look like you have a story to tell."
"I don't know." He shrugged.
"I would love to hear it." Nina prompted. "Come on. Let's hear it." Nina teased giving him a playful nudge.
*~*~*~*~*
On one of those rare family vacations, the Browns decided it was best to travel somewhere closer to New York. As a respected neurosurgeon, Andy had job responsibilities and was not recommended to venture too far in case duty called. So instead of flying to Paris or Rome for a week, they settled on spending a weekend in New Jersey – Atlantic City to be exact. Atlantic City was the gambling Mecca of the east coast. It was a miniature Vegas set on a boardwalk with a view of the beach. As with any ocean front property, the place was the liveliest during the summer months. But because of Andy's demanding job, he was only able to free up a weekend in the brisk month of November. Atlantic City was hardly a preferred vacation spot but rather an idea Andy squeezed in at the last minute. Judging from the type of environment, it seemed a more appropriate playground for adults rather than kids. But Andy promised his kids a Disney Land the next year to make up for it.
Unlike his sister, ten year-old Ephram showed no enthusiasm when his father presented them with the news that a Disney Land vacation was in stored for next year. There was not one excited bone in his body. Promises were made and broken by his father more times than he can count. This should be no different. He was not going to set himself up for another big disappointment. Ephram didn't mind the trip to Atlantic City. He didn't even mind the fact that they picked one of the worst times to go there. The beach was closed, majority of the shops were on holiday, the crowds were diminishing, and the strong gusts of salty wind stung at your eyes. "Beggars can't be choosers." Ephram thought. This trip was actually something he hadn't expected from his father. Nonetheless, he was content and tried to make the most of being part of a real family, even if it was just for one weekend.
They had started the road trip in the early morning hours to beat traffic. The three-hour drive to Atlantic City was anything but boring or awkward. The whole car was filled with mounts of energy. Julia allowed Ephram to sit up front in the passenger seat of Andy's rugged Ford Taurus for the whole ride and she would sit in the back with Delia. It was a special treat for Ephram because he was always forced to sit in the backseat with Delia due to safety measures. The foursome talked, joked, sang along with the radio, and played car games like "I Spy" all the way to Atlantic City. Ephram wished it could be like this all the time but he knew better than to push his luck.
The happy family checked into the Tropicana Hotel & Resort shortly after 11 am. It was a unanimous decision to forgo the five star restaurants in the hotel and get some grub at the Burger King on the boardwalk instead. They hopped on the wicker rolling chairs that were being pushed up and down the boardwalk by a guide. The famous wicker rolling chairs in Atlantic City were the romantic form of transportation on the boardwalk. They were equivalent to that of buggy rides through Central Park or gondola rides through the Venetian Canals.
The Burger King was unusually empty during the lunch hours with just a few customers scattered about. Caramel colored plastic booths were anchored to dusty mosaic tiled floor with screws and bolts. Several abandoned and unused napkins were strewn about on a couple of the tables. Covering the entire length of the left wall was a massive black and white mural depicting the post casino years on the boardwalk. It had a certain homey look that screams "Burger King: Your Typical Family Restaurant." The enticing greasy aroma of deep fried food whetted appetites. Employees chattering behind the counter drowned the beeping noises coming from the deep fryers indicating the batches of fries and onion rings were done.
With trays of food in their hands, the Browns chose to sit at a quiet booth by a tall window looking out onto the boardwalk. Ephram occupied the swivel chair immediately while Delia climbed into the padded bench in the booth. Ephram watched his parents separate the food and flirt with each other in the subtlest way. He couldn't help but smile.
Ephram ordered a Whopper with cheese, onion rings, and a small Coke. There was no way he was going to finish it all but kids often bite off more than they can chew. Andy knew it. As long as Ephram was happy, he didn't care. Julia helped Ephram open the foil wrapper of his burger before helping Delia with her Kids Meal. Meanwhile, Ephram popped an onion ring into his mouth and chewed it ravenously as he scanned the restaurant for any interesting subjects.
A nearby table almost hidden in a little wedge in the corner was occupied by an odd looking old man. His dingy black coat showed years of wear by the holes in his patched and re-patched sleeves. Bony ashen facial features were nearly hidden by his dirty unshaven face. A chewed up Oakland baseball cap obscured the desperate look in his face. The table before him was empty and he seemed to be huddled in his seat with hands stuffed in his pockets - no doubt ducking into the eatery to warm up from the brisk weather outside. Ephram stared at the man from head to toe. He noticed the man's footwear consisted of a pair of old Converse sneakers that were a million sizes too small for him, which he wore as a slipper trying to get as much of his foot into the shoe as possible revealing gray socked heels that probably had once been white. The man was a homeless.
"Ephram dear, you know it's not polite to gawk at people." Julia quipped snapping her son's attention back to his table.
"Yes, ma'am." Ephram nodded and obeyed his mother. Reaching for his soda, he gave the homeless man a few stolen glances through the corner of his eye. He couldn't explain the strange obsession he had with this man.
Convincing his mother that he was over it, Ephram took a couple of fries from his father and dunked it into ketchup before stuffing it into his mouth.
Soon enough, Julia had forgotten about Ephram's naughty stares and was engulfed in a deep discussion with Andy about addiction and gambling. Ephram looked blankly at the uneaten Whopper before him with steam still piping from the flame-broiled burger. Then he threw a glance at the homeless man again as he sucked at the straw in his container of soda. The boy turned to his parents and found them still talking and eating oblivious to his movement. Ephram placed his soda down. His decision was made.
He quickly re-wrapped the Whopper and got out of his swivel chair. Andy and Julia stopped talking when they noticed their son leaving their table without telling them. Julia was about to say something when she realized what Ephram was doing. They watched him attentively.
Holding the burger in his small hands, Ephram approached the homeless man. The rim of the man's cap hid his hard black eyes from the view of the room. He hadn't taken notice of the boy immediately – at least not until the boy was standing directly in front of him.
"Err. Ex-excuse me, sir?" Ephram stuttered. Part of him was scared yet part of him was very reserved. His mother had always told him never to speak to strangers. And here he was, breaking that very rule. Though, his gut feeling told him that he was doing something right. It was something he couldn't fight.
The spiritless dull glare of the man's icy eyes looked up to meet the boy. He did not say a word.
"Um, sorry to bother you, sir. But I thought you might be hungry." Ephram stammered and placed the Whopper on the table in front of the man. The unexpected generosity of this young boy left the man speechless and gaping at the food before him. When he realized what had happened, his cold eyes became moist with tears. He blinked at the Whopper for a few moments and when he looked up to see the boy, he had already gone back to his seat with his family. The boy was so bighearted that he hadn't even hang around long enough for a proper thank you.
"Ephram! That was a very nice gesture!!" Julia beamed. "I'm so proud of you!"
"It was nothing." Ephram said nonchalantly.
"See, he got that philanthropic quality from me." Andy teased.
"Like hell he did. The only thing he got from you is his stubbornness." Julia challenged.
"Ephie – why'd you do that for?" Three-year old Delia asked not understanding the sacrifice her brother made. She was at the age where everything was a questionable "why".
"Well, because he probably needs the food more than I do."
"But – but he's a homeless man!" Delia squealed a bit too loudly making her parents shush her. She was also at the age where the public embarrassment was highly regular.
"He's a man." Ephram responded gaining the approval from his parents.
"Won't you be hungry?" Delia continued.
"I'll be ok." Ephram said taking a slurp of his soda.
"You gave him your burger." Delia stated.
"Yea, it's called sharing. But don't worry – I won't starve just yet. I still got my onion rings." Ephram replied and crammed two onion rings into his mouth.
"Sharing, huh?" She gasped. "Then I'll share my chicken tenders with you." Delia pushed her portion of food forward to offer it to Ephram. Delighted, Ephram jumped out of his seat, came around to where his sister was sitting and gave her a thank you hug.
"Aw, that's sweet. I knew we were bringing our kids up well." Julia marveled to Andy.
A low sobbing sound abruptly disturbed the moment. They turned to the origin of the noise. It appeared to be coming from the homeless man. He had tears streaming down his tangled beard as he continued to stare at the burger in front of him. The Brown's looked at each other in bewilderment.
"Hey mister, is everything alright?" Andy called from his seat.
"Yep. Everything's fine." The man said after sucking in his sobs.
"No, see. If you were fine, you wouldn't be crying." Andy replied hoping to lighten the conversation. "Want to say what's wrong?"
"Your son has touched me so."
"My son's always been a selfless person. He didn't mind giving you his burger." Andy said humbly assuming the old homeless man was moved by young Ephram's kind gesture.
"I appreciate the food, but that's not the reason for my tears." The man wiped his eyes with the ragged cuff of his coat.
"Oh?" Andy said curiously.
"It's just that no one has called me "sir" before. When your son called me "sir", I felt like I was a real human being again. I haven't felt that way for a long time." The man replied. The unexpected comment caught Andy and Julia off guard and they smiled at their son with pride.
*~*~*~*~*
"Wow, that's amazing!!" Nina exclaimed. "Ephram was able to touch the heart of a homeless man by treating him with respect and without judgment. Why am I not surprised? It's so in Ephram's nature."
"The boy has taught me a lot. He's made me see things that I wouldn't give a second thought to. He's always been compassionate – everything from the homeless man incident to feeding the pigeons. It's funny how someone like me could father such a spirited and tenderhearted boy like him." Andy said in a puff. "Because of him, I've learned to be more compassionate and sympathetic. I'm not the unfeeling person I used to be." He added. "He's made me see that."
"Ephram had influence in all of us." She agreed.
"It's not easy. There's so much pain inside of me seeing my baby like this. I don't know how to make this pain and anguish go away." Andy's voice quivered as he covered his eyes with his big calloused hands.
Nina threw her arms around Andy and allowed him to cry in her arms. The heavier the sobs, the better it felt. The feelings and raw emotion Andy unleashed truly touched Nina's heart. Soon enough, she found herself bawling her eyes out too. Crying was contagious. Their sobs reverberated through the empty stairwell. From afar, they appeared to be a couple lamenting the ill fate of their beloved child. Comforting each other, Andy and Nina left the stairwell and headed back to Ephram's room.
Their bodies were exhausted but neither Andy nor Nina could sleep a wink. The wee hours of the next morning ticked away as they seek solace in the isolation of Ephram's room. Andy continued to wipe the occasional drool off Ephram's mouth while Nina stroked the boy's cheek with motherly care. They watched his chest expand and contract as the ventilator supplied oxygen into his system. His rapid eye movement under his pasty purple eyelids exhibited his tranquil but difficult sleep.
"I wonder what he's dreaming of right now." Nina said softly.
"Oh, he's probably off in some distant paradise filled with images of Lara Croft." Andy replied in a low somber tone.
"Who?"
"Lara Croft from Tomb Raider. You know, Angelina Jolie. He's into that stuff now." Andy explained.
"Oh!" A smile spread across Nina's lips. "Boys will be boys." She played with a tuft of clammy hair on the boy's forehead. "It must be a good dream then."
"He's a regular Casanova – wearing his heart on his sleeve. Breaking the poor girl's heart."
Nina giggled and whispered towards the boy, "I stand corrected. It must be a very good dream. As inviting as it may seem, I know you want to stay there longer but you find your way back to us real soon, ok? We miss you."
Ephram's current dream world did not consist of a picturesque romp in fields of wild fragrant flowers chasing after a giggling Angelina Jolie with a flurry of pollen blowing around. Instead, it was one of darkness and confusion. His mind took him to a groundless place that lacked any light – just a misty gray fog that swirled around him. It was so dark that he couldn't see any part of his body. Panic and fear barreled him into the darkness. Running on air, the boy felt each step propelling him forward but he went nowhere. It was the ultimate hamster wheel. He cried for his dad. He called for Delia. He shouted Nina's name. He even yelled out for his mom. There was no one. He was alone. The gray fog got thicker and transformed itself into a gigantic hand that pushed him forward. He tried to break free from the mysterious force.
"Nooo." He cried and clawed his way back from being pushed in the direction the hand enforced. "Leave me alone. I don't want to go that way." He whimpered.
"Hush, my child. You do not know what you say or do. Let me guide you." A thundering male voice said. Ephram jerked his head around to locate the source of that voice but he found no one. He felt like he was listening to a voice-over in a TV commercial. He couldn't spot the unseen narrator anywhere.
"Who said that?" Ephram wheeled around several times. It was silent. The boy's heart rate increased. Suddenly, the hand-shaped fog came back and gave him a push about six feet forward. He panted heavily as fear settled in.
"Do not be afraid." The voice said. Ephram tried to match the voice with all the men in his life and came to the conclusion that this voice did not correspond with anyone he knew.
"Who are you? Why are you doing this to me?" Ephram hollered. The voice did not answer. Cold and scared, Ephram started to cry.
"Sweet wandering child, cease your tears. I will not harm you. I'm only here as your strength and as your guide." The voice finally said in the gentlest fashion. The massive hand-shaped fog wrapped around Ephram's tiny shoulders. And almost instantly, something extraordinary occurred. Ephram felt the fear and coldness lift away from his body. He felt invigorated and warm. The tears stopped. "I think you are feeling better now." The voice remarked.
"Who are you?" Ephram asked again. No reply. The fog gave Ephram a nudge. "Where am I? And where are you taking me?" The boy questioned.
"My child, you ask too many questions. You will soon see your destination." The patient voice replied after a pause. "Trust me. Let me take you into my hands."
* Yea – literally. * Ephram thought.
"Pun intended." The voice laughed.
"Hey!! How'd you know what I was thinking??" Ephram exclaimed in shock.
"I know many things." The voice said. Putting his trust in this new companion, Ephram allowed himself to be lead by the hand of fate.
"Where am I going?" Ephram asked after a while. No answer. "It's so dark in here. I can't see anything. You wouldn't happen to have a match on you, would you?" Still no answer. "Hello? You still there?" Ephram asked.
"I am always with you." The voice said wisely.
"Then why are you ignoring me?"
"I'm not ignoring you. You'll have to put your faith in me. Do you believe in me?" The voice echoed.
"Now look who's askin' all the questions." Ephram retorted. "Of course I believe in you. I don't see anybody else around here helpin' me."
"Good." The voice thundered. "You are very high spirited and audacious."
"No, I'm just being a wise-ass. Pardon my French." Ephram joked. "Runs in the family, I guess."
A soft chuckle was heard from the voice then silence.
"Can't you just give me a hint on where I'm going? Just a small hint? Please?" Ephram begged with curiosity. He felt a light breeze pass his cheek as the hand-shaped fog carried him forward.
"Patience, my child. You're almost there."
"You're not very talkative or informative, you know that?" Ephram challenged.
"All your questions will be answered soon. I promise you that."
Felt like an eternity had passed before Ephram was able to see something other than a thick gray swirl of fog. He saw a mysterious pink light. It wasn't bright enough to hurt his eyes and not dim enough to lose his attention. He did not especially feel drawn into this light nor did it frighten him. It was rather an ambivalent feeling. However, it did spark a certain curiosity.
"What's that?" Ephram asked referring to the strange light.
"That's where you're headed." The voice said calmly.
"Why?"
"There go your questions again."
"What if I don't want to go there?" He persisted.
"Oh – you will. It's part of the big picture. You might not see it now, but you will understand it eventually." The voice scolded in the most amiable nature.
"What big picture?"
"Every one is part of the big picture. But you, my child, are part of the great plan. You will do great things in your life."
"So, what does that mean? Would you care to shed some light on that Obi-wan Kenobi?"
"You may be cocky now but your temperamental character will touch many lives." The voice said boldly.
"Hey! Why'd we stop?" Ephram questioned as he felt the hand-shaped fog came to a halt.
"We have arrived. This is where I must leave you. You are to go towards that pink light."
"Will I get to see you on the other side of that light?"
"No. I'm afraid not."
"Then when do I get to see your face?" Ephram asked.
"Not for a long time, my curious child. Not for a long time." The voice laughed heartily. "Now go." Ephram felt a gentle shove pushing him a few feet forward.
"Alright. I'm going already but can you answer me just one more question?" Ephram insisted.
"Very well. What is it?" The exasperated voice said.
"Who are you? I mean really?" Ephram squinted into the darkness.
"Haven't you guessed it by now??" The voice teased. "I'm the creator of mankind." The voice chuckled.
With eyes widened and mouth gaping in shock from the answer from the voice, Ephram froze in disbelief. Another force projected him towards the pink light before he could say a word.
"Holy Crap!!!" Ephram yelled impulsively at the realization. "Oh! Sorry – Uh - I didn't mean that..." He apologized sheepishly at his blunder. Without acting upon it, he felt his legs walking quicker and quicker into the pink light. An enormous grin fell upon his lips. His walk became a jog. His jog progressed into a sprint. The pink light became a pastel shade of coral color – one of the most beautiful colors he'd ever seen.
"God!! God spoke to me!!!" He squeezed his eyes shut and yelled into the void. "I had a conversation with God!!!" He cried in joy.
With that, his eyes shot open to find he'd been returned to his room at the intensive care unit. Something was in his throat. At first, he didn't know what it was and tried to swallow but that only added to the discomfort. Gagging on the tube, he tried to cough it out. He felt nauseous. Panic- stricken, Ephram gasped for air. Suddenly, he heard voices. He recognized his father's voice above all. Ephram tried to grab hold of the breathing tube that was crammed in his throat but someone pinned his arms down. Multiple hands touched his chest and neck. He felt the prick of a syringe in the lower part of his neck and something was inserted into his trachea – another tube. There was no additional pain. He heard someone say something about a Tracheostomy. He felt the rawness in his throat as the breathing tube was pulled up from his mouth. He coughed and spit up phlegm.
"Good boy!" He heard his father say. "Coughing is a good sign. Get the mucus out of your system. There we go, baby." He wiped the secretion from Ephram's chin and lips with a towel. "Don't worry – the Tracheostomy tube will make it easier and more comfortable for you to breathe." Andy said while watching Ephram choke and gasp for air as the nurses finished up the procedure.
Looking into his father's eyes, Ephram tried to say something but his words came out in a loud grunt.
"It's ok. Don't speak. The breathing tube probably caused some soreness to your vocal chords. I'm just glad you finally decided to breath on your own." Andy smiled.
Ephram wanted to tell Andy so much. Robbed of his voice, Ephram was only able to plead with his eyes.
* God spoke to me, dad!!! * Ephram wanted to say.
Andy leaned in close to his son's ear and said, "I love you Ephram. With all my heart, I love you." With all the nurses fussing around the room, it was only loud enough for only Ephram to hear. He saw his father's eyes moisten again.
Suddenly, Ephram understood why God sent him back.
* end of chapter 5 *
Author's Note: What!!!!! Did you really think I was going to let Ephram die?! Haha. Had ya there for a minute though, didn't I?
Thanx for reading!! Stay tuned for the next chapter!!
Day three at the hospital. Andy would like to keep pretending that things were going well. Ephram had his fleeting moments of consciousness every so often. Delia had the chance to carry on a conversation with her brother – in which case she did most of the talking. Nina was granted the endless opportunity of fussing over the boy in trying to make him as comfortable as possible. Andy, Nina, and Delia did all the talking while Ephram did most of the listening. They knew the boy was short of breath and would rather keep his replies curt and to the point. So a series of "yes" and "no" answers were expected.
Everyone gave Ephram the benefit of the doubt and fooled themselves into thinking that he was improving and on the way to a speedy recovery. They often spoke in the future tense to discourage any negativity. Andy painted dramatic pictures of taking a vacation back to New York very soon because he knew Ephram was a passionate New Yorker and that was the sort of thing he relished. Nina described all the delicious new recipes she'd been working on to debut at Momma Joy's and how much it would mean to her if Ephram could be her official taste tester. She even told him she would name a dish after him once she revises the menu. Delia promised Ephram they would do all sorts of activities together and from now on whenever they played Monopoly, Ephram could be the racecar.
Andy envied the relationship between Ephram and Delia. He wished so much to be part of that closeness but he knew he had to earn it from his children. And judging from his past mistakes, that wasn't going to happen overnight. He often observed their interactions from afar and took mental notes. Some would say it seemed like he treated his kids like lab rats and still others would say he paid good attention to his kids but either way, Andy wanted to have that special bond with his children again and watching them was a superior way to start. Andy found one peculiar aspect throughout his behavioral studies that he couldn't quite explain. Andy had to admit that although his kids were very accustomed to their CD-Rom and Playstation games, there was one game they were magnetically drawn to. It was an old board game called Monopoly.
It was very rare that kids today would even touch something as old- fashioned as a board game. Welcome to the world of cyberspace and the age of electronics. One would most likely find youngsters glued to their computer monitors or television screens playing some three dimensional, image enhanced video game bombarded with special effects. Sure, Ephram and Delia had those days but on occasion, they would set up the old Monopoly game board across the living room floor and start fighting over who gets the racecar token. The racecar was something Ephram and Delia always fought over as far as Andy could remember. He couldn't place the significance of the token even though he was dying to know. Perhaps within time, he will discover that reason.
Although he tried to appear strong, Ephram looked increasingly helpless lying in that big hospital bed with a face that was growing paler than the white bed sheets by the moment and which didn't go unnoticed by Andy and Nina. They had doubts regarding his condition but kept a chin-up and convinced themselves that he was going to be fine. Delia was the true optimist of the group. She rid her system of all negativity and turned into a chatterbox in front of Ephram. Ephram loved hearing his sister's sweet voice but most times, she was talking so fast that he couldn't process what she was saying and her words usually went in one ear and out the other. He just smiled and stared attentively to be polite. Andy often sensed this and slowed Delia down. Ephram didn't entirely dislike the attention he was getting. He would be lying if he said he wasn't. It was the one time everyone seemed to bend over backwards for him. He was the fallen warrior.
Andy sat at his usual spot next to his son's bed watching the boy sleep. He was glad Ephram was resting and recharging himself. The boy was breaking and melting the hearts of everyone he came into contact with.
An episode that happened earlier in the day played continuously in Andy's mind. Nina had to accompany Delia to the ladies room and the minute the door closed with a click, Ephram turned to Andy with the most heart- wrenching question anyone can pose. Ephram asked in a sincere and innocent voice, "Dad, why is everyone being so nice to me? Is it because I'm going to die?" Hearing these mortifying words come out of his child was like applying salt to a wound. Andy's heart was enveloped with such pain and malaise. Ephram's penetrating greenish gray eyes and vulnerable aura made the boy suddenly look five years younger. Andy held in his battered heart and replied, "What?! Of course not! Can't we be nice to you because you deserve it?" The reply seemed to silence Ephram.
* Why would Ephram burden himself with such a thought? Why didn't he think he deserved kindness? Why did he think there was a catch to it? Did it really take something like this to happen to realize how valuable a life is and how we took things for granted?* Andy questioned himself. There was a constant gnawing of worry in his gut that revolved around Ephram's health.
Andy witnessed Ephram's weak moment. It happened on the first dressing change of Ephram's wounds. Andy caught a glimpse of the patch-up work done on Ephram's side when the nurse removed the old bandage. Since the skin had been torn apart so severely, extra skin was needed to mend the raw areas. Hence, skin was taken from the boy's thigh and grafted onto the gashes so the wounds may heal properly. Uneven sheets of slightly bloated skin surrounding the stitches were a combination of pink and lavender as a result from being recently transplanted. Although the puffiness of the inflamed area will disappear within time, the scarring will no doubt remain. Appearing like a row of clear-colored miniature staples, the stitches were visibly placed one right after the other – very neatly and carefully done. Although the stitching was superbly finished, the aftermath of the surgery looked far worse than the initial injury sustained. Andy felt tingly all over just looking at it. Though, it may be a grotesque sight for someone who wasn't mentally prepared. One would find it sickening enough to induce vomit. Andy was glad Delia and Nina were out of the room at the time.
Ephram was obedient and cooperative during the applying of the thick antibiotic ointment and changing of the bandages. He was cautioned not to look down at his wound, as the deformity may be unnerving. Andy distracted Ephram from his curiosities with amusing med school stories. After the nurse was finished with Ephram's side, she proceeded to tend to the wound on his right shoulder. In order to change the bandage on his shoulder, Ephram had to be rolled onto his side. With Andy's help, Ephram was strategically shifted onto his side. The pressure applied to the left side of his torso caused the boy to let out a loud and unexpected shriek, which gave Andy a startle. The pain appeared so intense that Andy feared his son would pass out on the spot. Andy did everything in his power to both support the weight of Ephram's upper body as well as keep the vital wires and tubes from detaching while the nurse changed the dressing. Sobs rattled Ephram's speech as he begged his father to make the pain go away. Andy tried to comfort his son and explained how necessary it was to change the bandage and keep the wound clean. But the more he talked, the harder Ephram cried. Andy made a reminder to increase Ephram's dosage of painkillers so the poor kid didn't have to go through this everyday.
Andy found it hard to tear himself away from the boy's bedside. In the event that Ephram should wake, he didn't want him to see that he wasn't there. Andy's time was whittled away by playing with Ephram's long knobby fingers as he sat in silence watching Ephram sleep. After several hours, Andy decided it was time to take a break and see what Nina and Delia were doing. Besides, it was way passed dinnertime and the noises coming from his empty stomach were no consolation.
He found his way to the hospital's cafeteria and spotted Nina and Delia sitting at a table near the window. They were sitting face to face and seemed to be talking quietly to each other.
"Mmm. Chocolate pudding." Andy said observing the half empty containers of Jell-o pudding snacks on the table.
"Some say chocolate is the ultimate comfort food. We got you one too." Nina said presenting a fresh container of chocolate pudding and a plastic spoon. She slid it across the table and parked it in front of Andy when he took his seat next to Delia.
"Thanks. Just what I needed." Andy gladly took the dessert. "How are you doing sweetheart?" He asked Delia, who was quietly licking the pudding off her spoon.
"Fine, I guess." She replied.
"Andy, the Park Ranger that helped us the other night – Swanson, I think his name was – came by looking for you. I told him you were with Ephram." Nina stated as she scooped a generous spoonful of pudding into her mouth.
"Oh? What did he want?" Andy questioned curiously.
"He just wanted to know your boy was doing. He also wanted to let you know that he and a few of the other rescue workers gathered our camping gear from the campsite and loaded everything into your car. As a favor, they drove your car to Denver. It's being kept at the Denver Sheriff's Station until you're able to pick it up."
"Really? That was nice of them. See, that sort of thing would never happen in New York. Never. In New York, you would never see the camping equipment again and the car would've been striped clean at some chop shop in the Bronx." Andy pulled the foil off the pudding container.
"Sounds cold. You city folk totally underestimate us town folk. We are good people."
"I'm not saying you aren't. It just takes some getting used to." Andy crammed a helping of chocolate pudding into his mouth. "I'm not used to kindness."
Andy actually heard himself when he said those words – "I'm not used to kindness." Although, Andy meant it half as a joke, he thought back to Ephram's earlier comment about there being a catch to everyone being so nice to him. He realized he'd just hit the hammer right on the nail. Ephram was not used to kindness.
"Well then, you've got a lot to learn, Dr. Brown." Nina teased.
"I guess so. I'll give Ranger Swanson a call later to thank him." Andy decided. "So Delia, what did you have for dinner?"
"Fish sticks, scalloped potatoes and peas. Nina made me eat the peas." Delia replied unexcitedly. "I hate peas. But it's better than beets."
"And did you finish all your vegetables?" Andy inquired looking squarely at his young daughter to see if her reply was truthful.
"Yea, I did." Delia said innocently.
"She did. Took her a whole fifteen minutes but she finished it." Nina vouched.
"That's my good girl." Andy complimented Delia with a tight squeeze across her shoulders.
"You know, Ephram loves to eat fish sticks. We used to eat a lot of that back in New York. I remember all those TV dinners we used to eat when mom didn't have time to cook. Ephram's favorite was the fish sticks. I think it was called Fish N Chips – or something." Delia reminisced. She seemed a bit more cheerful ever since she had a conversation with her brother. It was a real treat for her considering the circumstances.
Andy really couldn't say he remembered because the truth was, he missed out. An unaccountable chunk of his life had been taken away from him. He may as well have been abducted by aliens one day and returned to earth 10 years later. He missed the spoils of watching his children grow up. The past year and a half was spent getting to know his kids all over again.
"I didn't know that. I'm sure he likes chocolate pudding too." Andy said as he watched Delia finish the last of her pudding.
"He does. He loves anything chocolate." Delia sparked while scraping every last ounce of pudding that was stuck to the bottom and sides of the container.
"Seems he ain't the only one. Chocolate-itis must definitely run in the family." Andy observed. "Here, why don't you go get another?" He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a wrinkled five-dollar bill. "And while you're at it, get me a cheeseburger." Delia took the money and left the table quite content.
"Ephram's still sleeping?" Nina asked Andy after they were left alone.
"Yea. He's amazing. Did you notice the how he was trying to act fine and dandy in front of us today? It's so obvious that something's not right. It's like he's lost the wise-ass, smart aleck spunk that I'm so used to. His spirit is just not completely there."
"Of course his spirit is a little weak. He barely survived the massive surgery done on his body. It's gonna take time for Ephram to be Ephram again. I know you're anxious for him to recover and it's a normal feeling. One day at a time. OK?" Nina replied catching a nod from Andy.
"Can you believe he lost nearly half the blood in his body?" Andy shook his head in dismay. "Seeing him lying there on that bed breaks my heart. It hurts, Nina. It really does." He vented.
"I know. It breaks my heart too." Nina sympathized.
"If you only knew how agonizing it was to watch him writhe in pain when his bandages were being changed. It must've been hurting something fierce because he cried so terribly. I don't think I've ever witnessed Ephram cry like that. It's scary."
"I can imagine. I wish there was something more I can do to make Ephram feel better."
"I appreciate your thoughtfulness. You know, come to think of it, I never really did get the chance to say Thanks. You've been such a great friend in taking care of Delia, helping Ephram – and looking after me." Andy smiled. "So, thanks."
"Don't mention it." Nina reddened. "Us town folk are known to be compassionate."
"Have you spoken to Sam?" Andy changed the direction of the conversation.
"Yea. Talked to him this afternoon. My mom took him to the opening of the Everwood Botanical Gardens today. They have all these kid activities there like face painting, balloon art, clowns, and games. He told me all about it. Excited as he sounded, I don't think he'll be able to sleep tonight."
"You should go home tomorrow. There's a 10 o'clock bus that leaves the depot for Everwood in the morning. I would drive you back but well, you know. My family problems have kept you here long enough. You need to be with Sam." Andy offered.
"Andy, are you trying to get rid of me?" Nina joked and finally got a laugh out of Andy for the first time that day.
"No, I'm just saying." Andy began.
"When a friend needs a helping hand, you don't just abandon him. Friends don't do that. Maybe where you come from people are cruel. Or maybe they just don't want to get their hands dirty. The big "mind your own business" and "I'm an independent" thing. You think as soon as you hit that bump in the road, you're left in the dust to fend for yourself. It's not like that here. Small town people are known to be quite stubborn but we are a community. We clump together when the going gets tough. I think that's what makes us so strong. I know you don't want me to leave. You need a friend - more so than ever especially under so much stress. And I'm here for you to lean on." Nina spoke with confidence.
"I – I don't know what to say." Andy stammered. He played with the empty pudding container.
"You don't have to say anything. Just don't push away those who are trying to help you."
"I'll bet Sam misses you."
"Do you know what he said when I explained to him why I couldn't come home yet? He said, 'Mommy, don't worry about me. I can take care of myself. I'm a big boy now. Besides, Grandma's here to play with me.' I'm sure my mom is spoiling him with all sorts of candy and junk food as we speak. Anyway, my point is, Sam is in good hands. He's pretty mature for a five-year old." Nina said. "Oh by the way, my mom sends her love and hope Ephram's going to be ok."
At this moment, Delia hopped back with a foil wrapped cheeseburger and a container of pudding cradled in her arms. The sound of loose coins tinkered against the wood when she placed the change on the table. She climbed into her chair and opened her second dessert.
After spending a nice calming hour in the cafeteria talking and just hanging out, Andy, Nina, and Delia decided to go up and visit Ephram one more time before heading off to bed. The big silver double doors of the elevator slid open on the third floor. The threesome stepped out and walked casually down the hall still joking about how the cheeseburger Andy ate smelt a tad bit like a wet sock. Several nurses in white uniforms went unnoticed as they scurried passed the three visitors in the same direction and sped down the hall.
They had a hunch that something was amiss when they heard a chatter of tense conversation and stern instructions thrown around between a more few ICU nurses as they sprung into animation. To Andy, seeing the busy activity was a normal routine. It was ICU and everything here was intense. Working the Intensive Care Unit was the most stressful job next to working the Emergency Room. The pressure was drowning and the nurses had to really know their stuff - especially when they were presented with all types of challenging emergencies – from people suddenly going into cardiac arrest to hemorrhaging to respiratory failure. Andy gave the nurses a lot of credit.
Andy saw a short chubby nurse whizzing by with a quickened pace. Her white Keds sneakers gave a sharp squeak as the rubber soles created traction against the slippery tiled floor. He started to inquire about the emergency at hand but she cut him off and made it clear that she didn't have the time to stop for a chat. Andy understood and didn't hold it against her.
Much to their surprise, there was only one nurse seen at the nurse's station. The area was usually swarming with nurses. Where did everyone go? Andy walked up to the front desk where a young nurse in a blue uniform with a stethoscope draped around her neck was nervously fidgeting with the clipboard in her hands. She appeared to be frantically scanning it for some patient information. Her medium length blond hair was gelled back into a ponytail. A few gold Bobbie pins tucked neatly on each side of her head prevented any hair from straying.
"Nurse, what type of emergency we got tonight?" Andy asked curiously. The nurse looked up at the man who appeared to be a visitor. Speechless, she gave Andy a puzzled look. "Oh, I'm Dr. Brown. You probably didn't recognize me without my lab coat." Andy added. He fished in his pocket to find his ID tag. Once he got a hold of it, he pulled it out and clipped it onto his breast pocket.
"Oh! Sorry Dr. Brown." She squinted at the tag to verify Andy's identity. "Just got transferred over from Cardiology this morning. I'm kinda new here."
"That's ok, um Nurse Freemont." Andy read the name off her plastic lapel pin above the left pocket of her uniform.
"Please, it's Kathy." She said nonchalantly and brought her attention back to her clipboard. "I'd forgotten how hectic it was over at ICU and they left the newbie to hold down the fort."
"Yes. I see. So, Kathy, where is everybody anyway?" Andy asked amiably with Nina and Delia looking on quietly.
"We had a code blue. Patient in room 306 went into cardiac arrest. All the nurses rushed to the scene to – "Nurse Freemont started.
"Waitaminute - did you say room 306?" Andy interrupted as the color was immediately drained from his face. His eyes shook with fear and the blood in his veins ran cold.
"Yes – room 306." Nurse Freemont stammered not sure what was going on.
"It can't be!! Room 306 – that's Ephram's room!!" Andy yelled and looked wildly at Nina, who had her hand cupped over her mouth in shock. He turned back to the nurse. "How long ago was this? Are they still in there with him?" He demanded.
"Well, we - we got the code about six minutes ago. The patient stopped breathing." By the time the nurse finished her sentence, Andy was already seen running down the hall towards room 306. His heart was pounding in his chest. Blood was rushing to his ears.
"I don't understand." Nurse Freemont said looking at Nina.
"It's his son. His son is in room 306." Nina's voice shook.
"Oh no!" Nurse Freemont gasped.
*Oh dear God – no. No. No. No. No. This can't be happening. Tell me this is a dream. She didn't say room 306. She didn't. There must be some sort of mistake. Ephram's ok. He has to be. * Andy's head reeled as he approached his son's room.
Andy felt numb as he looked through the large glass window. About half a dozen nurses hovered over Ephram trying desperately to resuscitate him and draw oxygen back into his lifeless body. Andy's suddenly heart turned into a chunk of metal and could almost feel it falling to the floor. His world spun around in a dizzying frenzy. Time froze and he couldn't move. He wanted to burst through those doors and assist, but his feet were rooted into the floor. Fear, shock, and pain shot through his body.
With his nose almost touching the large Plexiglass window, he watched the scene unfold inside room 306. His heavy breath on the glass created a fog. He saw the nurses administer CPR and when that didn't work they proceeded with electrical cardioversion to deliver a synchronized electrical shock to restore heart rhythm. The paddles of the defibrillator were gelled and the hospital gown covering Ephram's torso was ripped open exposing his bare chest. Monitor leads and conductor pads were attached to the upper torso. The energy level was selected. Andy was able to hear the shouts coming from the room.
"Charging defibrillator. Stand Clear." The first nurse yelled seriously as she pressed a button on the paddle. "I'll shock on the count of three. One, I'm clear." She said professionally as she checked herself for contact with the patient. "Two, you're clear." She checked those around her for contact. "Three, everybody is clear." She said checking herself again before continuing. The left paddle was placed on the sternum and the right paddle on the apex of the chest as the nurse pressed the discharge buttons on the paddles simultaneously.
Images of Ephram's life flashed before him – from past to present. One of the last images he saw was of his son's sweet and innocent boyish face grinning mischievously at him with gleaming greenish gray eyes like as if it was his way of saying good-bye without actually saying a word. Then without hesitation, Ephram turned his back on Andy and quickly faded away. "NO! Come back!!" Andy heard himself screaming at the disappearing image. He wasn't sure if his vision blurred because of the tears welling up in his eyes or if he was about to faint. Cloudy. He felt himself swaying on his feet.
*
Andy watched his son's scrawny body break into spasms with each jolt of electricity. The nurses repeated the procedure two more times before giving up. The monitor showed a flat line.
It was over. Andy saw the solemn looks on the nurses' faces as they hung their heads down in remorse. They turned off the machines and pulled the electrodes off Ephram's still body. The head nurse caught a glimpse of the boy's father looking through the window. She whispered to another nurse diligently before exiting the room to speak to Andy. He did not see the nurse approaching him. His eyes were glued to his son's expired body.
* Ephram is not dead. He can't be dead. He's not dead!! I won't believe it. * Andy repeated in his mind.
Andy stared at the torn polka dotted hospital gown revealing Ephram's gaunt pallid frame. The boy's complexion was an immediate shade of blue. It was surprising how quickly the life gets sucked out of a body once all vital functions cease. It was like as if all the life force had left his body in a puff of smoke. Ephram's eyes were half open in a fixed stare directed at the ceiling. Andy couldn't bring himself to believing that it was his son in there.
"Dr. Brown?" The nurse materialized by his side. Andy did not take his face away from the glass.
* Please wake up. Please. I know you can. Don't do this. Wake up damn it. Wake up!! * Andy thought as the horror swept through his body.
"Dr. Brown?" The nurse repeated. "I'm so sorry. He didn't make it. We did all we could. TOD was 9:52 pm." She spoke sadly as she wiped off the sweat that had accumulated on her shiny forehead with the back of her sleeve.
* Time of death? Why is she telling me the time of death? Ephram is still alive. He's still breathing. He is!! * Andy denied.
He turned to the nurse with tears flowing down his cheeks. "NO." He choked.
"I'm sorry." She said with sympathy. "If there's anything I can do – "She began to say. The nurse had short brown hair and a pair of rouge colored thin lips. The fine wrinkles at the corner of her eyes formed a crow's-foot making her look older than she appeared. Andy remembered her hardened eyes. They were the eyes of a true nurse – eyes that have seen more than their share of turmoil.
Andy watched the remaining nurses in Ephram's room finishing the last procedures. A nurse placed her hand gently over Ephram's staring eyes and closed them. She then pulled a sheet over the boy's head. That same nurse turned to her colleague, mumbled a few words and shook her head from side to side in dismay.
The white sheet outlined the contours of Ephram's frail body. It was really Ephram lying under that sheet. He wasn't going to get up. He wasn't coming back. Andy felt a sharp pain in his chest as the realization settled into his brain. He backed away from the glass window until he was back-to-back against the wall. The pain in his chest increased making it hard to breathe. Hyperventilating, he grabbed at his chest.
"Dr. Brown, are you alright?" The nurse asked worriedly. Andy only slid to the floor with his back still against the wall. "Dr. Brown!! What's wrong? Is it your heart?" The nurse asked frantically as she crouched next to Andy.
All Andy could do was cover his hands on his eyes and bawl. "He can't die! He's not supposed to die!!" He blubbered. "What am I going to do?"
The nurse held him in a tight and soothing embrace as a few visitors looked on with bewildered curiosity.
*
"Dr. Brown." A voice called. Engulfed in his own turmoil, Andy did not hear the voice.
"Dr. Brown?" The voice said again. Andy's attention snapped back when he felt someone touch his arm. He turned towards the source of the voice and found the nurse with the wrinkled eyes looking back at him. "Wow, seems like you were miles away there for a minute." She smiled. Her rouge lips curled up revealing her coffee-stained straight teeth.
* Why is she smiling at me? Why is she so happy when my son has died? * Andy thought with outrage running through his system. He was appalled at the nurse for being so heartless.
"Huh?" Andy said as he submerged from a dream state.
"Ah! He talks!! What a relief! I thought you were going catatonic on me." The nurse joked. Catatonic – that was actually funny. Technically, it was a good doctor joke and Andy definitely had to remember it so he could use it on someone else. But a joke was highly inappropriate under the circumstances.
"What?" Andy said in confusion.
"I was asking you if you wanted to accompany us to radiology but you didn't hear me. It was like you turned into a zombie or something. You didn't even blink. The lights were on but nobody was home. I was starting to worry about you." The nurse smiled again.
"Radiology? Why am I needed at Radiology? Can't you see, my son just died?" Andy's voice faltered. His eyes were wet.
"What are you talking about?" The nurse said quaintly.
"My son Ephram. He's dead. I saw him die." Andy stifled a sob.
"What? No he's not. Dr. Brown, are you alright?" The nurse asked with budding concern. She was just as confused as he was. Did he not see what was going on through the window? He'd been standing there for a long time watching the action. Andy was a doctor – how could he not differentiate a positive versus a negative outcome.
"He's gone. My boy is gone." Andy cupped his hand over his mouth to prevent sobs from escaping.
"You've got it all wrong. I don't know what gave you the idea that your son is dead. Ephram is very much alive." The nurse quipped.
"What? W-What do you mean?" He said.
"Why don't you see for yourself? Look." The nurse pointed to the window.
Andy looked through the glass again and saw a totally different scene. The necessary tubes and electrodes were still attached to Ephram's body. The boy was unconscious but the bedside monitor showed his heart rhythm had been restored. A breathing tube was placed into Ephram's mouth with the end of the tube connected to a manual resuscitator or a breathing bag. It was quite obvious that the boy was not able to breathe on his own. Nurses were scattered around the room organizing all the machines that he was attached to for patient transport. Several nurses pulled Ephram systematically onto a gurney.
"He's alive?" Andy observed. "But how? How is this possible? I saw – I saw." He rubbed his eyes. "He was dead. Am I dreaming? Or is this some kind of sick joke?"
"I don't know what you mean. Ephram's heart failed. When CPR didn't work, we used the defibrillator. We were thought he was a goner for sure but he came back on the third try. Considering the extent of the injuries, that is one tough kid you got there." The nurse praised.
"Ephram's NOT dead!! Thank God!!!" Andy exclaimed. His jubilant shout bounced off the tiled floors and echoed down the hall. He was so ecstatic with joy and new hope that he'd forgotten the hospital's golden rule of being quiet and lowering your voices. His tone was full of relief and salvation as the truth surfaced and he realized that his son wasn't dead. Witnessing Ephram's death was unexplainable. He swore he saw his son die. Maybe it was a cruel dream. Or his mind playing tricks on him. Perhaps it was Satan's evil doing – giving him a taste of his deepest and darkest fear. Either way, it was so real that it completely blew Andy away.
"We've managed to get him somewhat stabilized. Now, we're getting ready to wheel him to radiology to get chest X-rays. Make sure his lungs are ok." The nurse clarified.
Without warning, Andy threw his arms around the nurse. "I love you! I love you! I love you!!" He cried with exaltation. "Thank you so much!!"
"Oh my!!" The nurse squealed awkwardly as he lifted her up by the shoulders and swung her around in a hug. "Oh dear!! Put me down." She blushed. "Honest to God, I think I'm too old for this type of thing."
"Sorry. I didn't mean to sweep you off your feet like that." Andy ended the embrace and placed the nurse back onto solid ground.
"Whew! What a ride!" The nurse gasped. She smiled making the crow's feet at the corner of her eyes even more prominent. "Dr. Brown. As much as I would love to take all the credit, I must admit that it was a team effort. You'll have to give each of the nurses in there a hug too." She laughed wholeheartedly.
"Yes – Yes!! You're right!! I must remember to do that." Andy babbled.
"Ok then." The nurse agreed.
The door to Ephram's room opened and a young red headed nurse poked her head out. "Dr. Brown. Agnes." She spoke with a hint of a southern accent. "Y'all ready to go to radiology?" She questioned as the other nurses wheeled the gurney out the door.
"Yes. Oh! I forgot about Nina and Delia!!" Andy suddenly recalled leaving them behind at the nurse's station.
He turned around to see Nina and Delia approaching. Nina was holding Delia's hand and leading her down the hall. They stopped midway when they saw the gurney with Ephram lying motionless on top wheeled out of the room. He was covered with plastic tubing and an array of devices that helped preserve his life. Nina clasped both hands to cover her trembling lips. Unfamiliar with medical procedures, she could only imagine Ephram's current condition by witnessing the scene before her. It was heartbreaking and unsightly. She stood her ground and waited for Andy to tell her the crushing news. And no matter what he says, she will bravely refrain from crying. But she knew it would only be a lie.
For Delia, it was different. She didn't understand why they were taking Ephram out of his room. She came to the conclusion that it could only mean one thing – something bad. The horrific notion of really losing her brother grabbed her by the heart and refused to let go. Delia was stricken with so much grief that her whole body felt numb. The first to go were her knees.
"Delia! Sweetheart, are you ok?" Nina's tense voice demanded when she saw the young girl sink to the floor. Nina kneeled down beside Delia. "Delia? Baby? Are you alright??" Nina fired thinking Delia was fainting at the overwhelming situation.
Petrified and nauseous, Delia lost her voice. She stuck her fingers in her mouth as tears gushed down her face in messy streams. The moans that came out of her mouth sounded like a sick calf. Upon seeing her breakdown, Andy raced to Delia's aid. He told the nurses to proceed with bringing Ephram to radiology and that he would meet them there in a while.
"Delia, honey?" Nina called in concern. The girl gave no response. She only stared at the spot where she'd just seen an unconscious Ephram lying in the gurney flat on his back. Nina rubbed Delia's back and smoothed the girl's hair to get her attention but nothing seemed to work. Andy arrived at the scene. "Andy! What's going on? Ephram. Is he -?" Nina panicked.
"Ephram went into cardiac arrest. He flat lined but the nurses brought him back. He's being taken to get chest X-rays right now." Andy summed it up quickly. He turned to Delia. "Delia? Baby, it's ok. Everything's going to be fine." He coached but nothing seemed to soothe the terrified girl.
Andy tried to pick Delia up but she refused to budge from her spot on the floor. Drinking her own tears as she sucked on her fingers, she continued to make grunting sounds while choking on her tears. Eventually, the commotion caught the attention of some nurses and orderlies passing by.
"She's in shock. Why don't you go see about Ephram and I'll take care of her?" Nina suggested. "She'll be ok."
Andy hesitated for a minute before saying to Delia, "Sweetheart, I'm going to be right back. I promise, ok?" She didn't feel the kiss he placed on her wet cheek. Andy reluctantly left for the elevator doors.
"Come here, Delia." Nina scooped the girl up and carried her in her arms. Delia wrapped her arms around Nina's neck. With a mixture of both Nina and her own hair caught in her mouth, Delia's tears did not surrender and sobbed loudly. "That's a good girl. Shhh. It's going to alright. Calm down baby. Breathe. That's it." Nina lulled as she walked to the waiting room ignoring the attention from the people she had acquired.
It was passed 10 pm and the waiting room was deserted. Nina had the seat of her choice. She picked a row of private seats in the corner and sat down. Delia was still clutching her tightly and weeping into Nina's T-shirt, which had already been dampened with the young girl's tears.
"I can't!! I just can't!!" Delia sobbed.
"What do you mean?" Nina was surprised at Delia's outburst.
"He's dead!! He's dead. I can't go through this again."
"Delia. Ephram's not dead. He was taken to get chest X-rays." Nina reasoned. But apparently this girl was too smart for her.
"I saw him. I saw him. This was not routine. Something happened. His heart stopped. Something went wrong." Her shoulders heaved after each breath. "First mom, then now Ephram."
"Alright. I can't lie to you. His heart did stop working but the nurses brought him back. Ephram's alive. They had to bring him to get X-rays done so they can get more information on how to help him better." Nina gave Delia an affectionate squeeze across the shoulders.
"Nina, I love Ephram. I love him so much. He's the only one in the world that understands me. I can't loose him." She looked up to meet Nina's eyes.
"And you won't loose him. Because he's a fighter. He won't let you down. It may take him a while to get back to 100% but he's not the type who gives up." Nina wasn't sure if she should be telling Delia this but she prayed that she was right.
"This can't be happening. Nina, please wake me up. I know I'm in a nightmare right now. I know it!!" Delia's body shook as she choked on her sobs. "I was just talking to Ephram this morning. And he was even smiling at me. He looked like he was getting better. How could this happen?? It's not possible!!" She rambled and sucked the mucus back up her nose.
"I know. Baby, I know. I can't believe it either. Just try to relax. I'll hold you as long as you want me to." Nina promised. Delia sobbed in the comfort of Nina's arms.
Just when Nina thought Delia's hysterics was calming, she heard the girl whisper, "He did it to save me. And I did nothing to save him. What kind of person am I?"
"What are you saying Delia? He saved your life but you also help save his. Don't you see? Without your help, by the time anyone found Ephram, it would've been too late. He was lost and wounded in the woods and no one knew where he was or which direction he took. Thanks to your quick wit and trail of M&M's, we found him just in time." Nina said. "He is your savior and you are his savior. The bond between you both is so strong that's kind of like a sixth sense. You can feel his force and he can feel your force without realizing it. It was fate that made us go in the right direction that night. We have you to thank."
"I don't feel very heroic right now. I feel torn up in side. Like – like I don't want to live any more." She sighed.
"Don't say that, sweetie. Ephram wouldn't want you saying such things." Nina shot back. Delia shrugged.
No one could deny the truth. They knew he was weak but Ephram's little touch-and-go incident proved that he was weaker than anyone could possibly imagine. It was the source of everyone's concern. Hope was definitely something everyone could use more of. But at times, hope just seemed pointless. No one knew what was in store for young Ephram. No one knew God's big plan.
*~*~*~*~*
Andy found himself glued to Ephram's bedside once again. After the chest X- rays, Ephram was brought back to his room at the intensive care. The boy's appearance slightly worsened by the addition of a breathing tube shoved down Ephram's throat to assist in artificial respiration. A piece of tape was adhered around his neck and mouth to hold the tube in place. An intimidating mechanical respirator was parked beside the bed. He stared at the large unit with eyes tracing the course of the big blue tubes. The thick tube was connected to another smaller tube and made its way into Ephram's mouth. He imagined the air being pushed into Ephram's weak lungs.
Andy silently watched his son in his deep sleep. His desire to continuously tell Ephram how much he loved him exceeded his ability. Grief had taken hold of his tongue numerous times. It may have been useless to constantly repeat himself in front on the unconscious boy but in the end, he had nothing more to beg of his son.
The gap left between the breathing tube and Ephram's mouth allowed an occasional messy trickle of saliva to escape from the corner of his mouth. Andy spent the past two hours wiping away Ephram's saliva with a handkerchief. When he wasn't doing that, he was stroking his son's soft cheek gently with the back of his index finger. Ephram showed no signs of responding to his father's touch.
The door creaked open slowly. It was Nina. She came into the room and closed the door carefully behind her. She felt Andy's strong arduous presence. It was apparent that watching his son helplessly was eating him up yet he still refused to let his weakness show. His hardened face buried his frustrations well. Nina, on the other hand, was an emotional wreck. Perhaps Andy's reason for being so passive was because he'd seen this type of thing on a daily basis. For Nina, she had never seen the inside of an actual intensive care unit until this thing happened with Ephram. There was nothing glamorous and tidy about the whole atmosphere as was portrayed by movies and television. The real intensive care unit was an intense and horrific environment enough to make anyone nervous. Machines and the various contraptions that crowded the small room were complex and domineering. And a raw distinctive smell emanating from a combination of drugs, plastic, disinfectant and biological excretions swirled in the air of this tiny room. The room was silenced by bleeps and whooshing sounds made by the ventilator pumping air. The most emotional impact stemmed from seeing someone she knew lying in that bed with a draining life force that was only survived artificially by those devices around him. It made her skin crawl. She was a sack of tears ready to explode at the sight of Ephram's life hanging by a thread.
"Andy?" Nina's sensitive voice said softly as she walked towards the bed. She watched Andy dab the corner of his handkerchief on Ephram's chin to wipe away the dribble.
"Nina – "Andy looked up. Nina had expected Andy to be in complete control of the situation. On the contrary, she found a totally different Andy looking back at her. Tears immediately welled up in Andy's tired gray eyes. Without saying a word, he broke into loud sobs.
"Hey. Andy." Nina placed an arm around Andy's broad convulsing shoulders.
"He's worse off now than he was before." He choked.
"Let's take a break and get some fresh air." Nina insisted after witnessing Andy's outburst. "Come on, you need to stretch your legs." She pulled Andy up and led him out of the room.
Andy and Nina ducked into the emergency exit stairway to get some privacy from all the nurses milling around. Andy took a seat on the top step and Nina sat beside him. He hung his head down and sobbed into his hands.
"Andy, it'll be alright." Nina tried to soothe his pain.
"I'm a doctor and there is not a damn thing I can do for him."
"That's not true. As far as I know, you're doing more for him than you know. Ephram needs your presence the most right now. And you've stuck by his side from the start."
"Julia has already slipped through my fingertips and now this. I don't have the strength anymore. I'm loosing my faith in Ephram. Nina, I don't know what to do." He sobbed some more.
"I'll admit that he looks ghastly at the moment. Anyone who saw him would think he has a very little chance of pulling through but he's escaped death twice. Do you think he'll throw in the towel so easily? It's important that you don't lose faith in Ephram. I'm not giving up on him and neither should you of all people."
"Do you know what I've been doing for the last two hours? I've been sitting in there wiping the drool off his face." Andy's voice quivered. He shook his head. "It's not supposed to end up like this. How I could allow this to happen? I was supposed to protect him. We should never have gone camping. He doesn't even like camping. I forced him to go."
"Don't feel guilty for wanting to spend time with your children. You meant well. No one expected anything bad was going to happen. You can't hold yourself responsible for this. Ephram sure doesn't and neither does Delia. Delia blames herself in fact." Nina caught Andy's eyes.
"Delia? No. She didn't do anything wrong. Where is she now?" Andy said in alarm.
"You don't need to worry. I convinced her that no one was to blame for what happened to Ephram. The poor girl's sleeping. I asked the nurse on duty to keep an eye on her."
Andy breathed a relieved sigh. He stared at the speck of black dried gum stuck to the descending step in front of him.
"Ephram is the most devoted boy I know. He's courageous and brave. He was willing to sacrifice his life for his sister. I don't know of anyone that would've done what he did." Nina said after a pause.
"Well, that boy has always been selfless." Andy began but stopped short. His drive was gone.
"Andy – you look like you have a story to tell."
"I don't know." He shrugged.
"I would love to hear it." Nina prompted. "Come on. Let's hear it." Nina teased giving him a playful nudge.
*~*~*~*~*
On one of those rare family vacations, the Browns decided it was best to travel somewhere closer to New York. As a respected neurosurgeon, Andy had job responsibilities and was not recommended to venture too far in case duty called. So instead of flying to Paris or Rome for a week, they settled on spending a weekend in New Jersey – Atlantic City to be exact. Atlantic City was the gambling Mecca of the east coast. It was a miniature Vegas set on a boardwalk with a view of the beach. As with any ocean front property, the place was the liveliest during the summer months. But because of Andy's demanding job, he was only able to free up a weekend in the brisk month of November. Atlantic City was hardly a preferred vacation spot but rather an idea Andy squeezed in at the last minute. Judging from the type of environment, it seemed a more appropriate playground for adults rather than kids. But Andy promised his kids a Disney Land the next year to make up for it.
Unlike his sister, ten year-old Ephram showed no enthusiasm when his father presented them with the news that a Disney Land vacation was in stored for next year. There was not one excited bone in his body. Promises were made and broken by his father more times than he can count. This should be no different. He was not going to set himself up for another big disappointment. Ephram didn't mind the trip to Atlantic City. He didn't even mind the fact that they picked one of the worst times to go there. The beach was closed, majority of the shops were on holiday, the crowds were diminishing, and the strong gusts of salty wind stung at your eyes. "Beggars can't be choosers." Ephram thought. This trip was actually something he hadn't expected from his father. Nonetheless, he was content and tried to make the most of being part of a real family, even if it was just for one weekend.
They had started the road trip in the early morning hours to beat traffic. The three-hour drive to Atlantic City was anything but boring or awkward. The whole car was filled with mounts of energy. Julia allowed Ephram to sit up front in the passenger seat of Andy's rugged Ford Taurus for the whole ride and she would sit in the back with Delia. It was a special treat for Ephram because he was always forced to sit in the backseat with Delia due to safety measures. The foursome talked, joked, sang along with the radio, and played car games like "I Spy" all the way to Atlantic City. Ephram wished it could be like this all the time but he knew better than to push his luck.
The happy family checked into the Tropicana Hotel & Resort shortly after 11 am. It was a unanimous decision to forgo the five star restaurants in the hotel and get some grub at the Burger King on the boardwalk instead. They hopped on the wicker rolling chairs that were being pushed up and down the boardwalk by a guide. The famous wicker rolling chairs in Atlantic City were the romantic form of transportation on the boardwalk. They were equivalent to that of buggy rides through Central Park or gondola rides through the Venetian Canals.
The Burger King was unusually empty during the lunch hours with just a few customers scattered about. Caramel colored plastic booths were anchored to dusty mosaic tiled floor with screws and bolts. Several abandoned and unused napkins were strewn about on a couple of the tables. Covering the entire length of the left wall was a massive black and white mural depicting the post casino years on the boardwalk. It had a certain homey look that screams "Burger King: Your Typical Family Restaurant." The enticing greasy aroma of deep fried food whetted appetites. Employees chattering behind the counter drowned the beeping noises coming from the deep fryers indicating the batches of fries and onion rings were done.
With trays of food in their hands, the Browns chose to sit at a quiet booth by a tall window looking out onto the boardwalk. Ephram occupied the swivel chair immediately while Delia climbed into the padded bench in the booth. Ephram watched his parents separate the food and flirt with each other in the subtlest way. He couldn't help but smile.
Ephram ordered a Whopper with cheese, onion rings, and a small Coke. There was no way he was going to finish it all but kids often bite off more than they can chew. Andy knew it. As long as Ephram was happy, he didn't care. Julia helped Ephram open the foil wrapper of his burger before helping Delia with her Kids Meal. Meanwhile, Ephram popped an onion ring into his mouth and chewed it ravenously as he scanned the restaurant for any interesting subjects.
A nearby table almost hidden in a little wedge in the corner was occupied by an odd looking old man. His dingy black coat showed years of wear by the holes in his patched and re-patched sleeves. Bony ashen facial features were nearly hidden by his dirty unshaven face. A chewed up Oakland baseball cap obscured the desperate look in his face. The table before him was empty and he seemed to be huddled in his seat with hands stuffed in his pockets - no doubt ducking into the eatery to warm up from the brisk weather outside. Ephram stared at the man from head to toe. He noticed the man's footwear consisted of a pair of old Converse sneakers that were a million sizes too small for him, which he wore as a slipper trying to get as much of his foot into the shoe as possible revealing gray socked heels that probably had once been white. The man was a homeless.
"Ephram dear, you know it's not polite to gawk at people." Julia quipped snapping her son's attention back to his table.
"Yes, ma'am." Ephram nodded and obeyed his mother. Reaching for his soda, he gave the homeless man a few stolen glances through the corner of his eye. He couldn't explain the strange obsession he had with this man.
Convincing his mother that he was over it, Ephram took a couple of fries from his father and dunked it into ketchup before stuffing it into his mouth.
Soon enough, Julia had forgotten about Ephram's naughty stares and was engulfed in a deep discussion with Andy about addiction and gambling. Ephram looked blankly at the uneaten Whopper before him with steam still piping from the flame-broiled burger. Then he threw a glance at the homeless man again as he sucked at the straw in his container of soda. The boy turned to his parents and found them still talking and eating oblivious to his movement. Ephram placed his soda down. His decision was made.
He quickly re-wrapped the Whopper and got out of his swivel chair. Andy and Julia stopped talking when they noticed their son leaving their table without telling them. Julia was about to say something when she realized what Ephram was doing. They watched him attentively.
Holding the burger in his small hands, Ephram approached the homeless man. The rim of the man's cap hid his hard black eyes from the view of the room. He hadn't taken notice of the boy immediately – at least not until the boy was standing directly in front of him.
"Err. Ex-excuse me, sir?" Ephram stuttered. Part of him was scared yet part of him was very reserved. His mother had always told him never to speak to strangers. And here he was, breaking that very rule. Though, his gut feeling told him that he was doing something right. It was something he couldn't fight.
The spiritless dull glare of the man's icy eyes looked up to meet the boy. He did not say a word.
"Um, sorry to bother you, sir. But I thought you might be hungry." Ephram stammered and placed the Whopper on the table in front of the man. The unexpected generosity of this young boy left the man speechless and gaping at the food before him. When he realized what had happened, his cold eyes became moist with tears. He blinked at the Whopper for a few moments and when he looked up to see the boy, he had already gone back to his seat with his family. The boy was so bighearted that he hadn't even hang around long enough for a proper thank you.
"Ephram! That was a very nice gesture!!" Julia beamed. "I'm so proud of you!"
"It was nothing." Ephram said nonchalantly.
"See, he got that philanthropic quality from me." Andy teased.
"Like hell he did. The only thing he got from you is his stubbornness." Julia challenged.
"Ephie – why'd you do that for?" Three-year old Delia asked not understanding the sacrifice her brother made. She was at the age where everything was a questionable "why".
"Well, because he probably needs the food more than I do."
"But – but he's a homeless man!" Delia squealed a bit too loudly making her parents shush her. She was also at the age where the public embarrassment was highly regular.
"He's a man." Ephram responded gaining the approval from his parents.
"Won't you be hungry?" Delia continued.
"I'll be ok." Ephram said taking a slurp of his soda.
"You gave him your burger." Delia stated.
"Yea, it's called sharing. But don't worry – I won't starve just yet. I still got my onion rings." Ephram replied and crammed two onion rings into his mouth.
"Sharing, huh?" She gasped. "Then I'll share my chicken tenders with you." Delia pushed her portion of food forward to offer it to Ephram. Delighted, Ephram jumped out of his seat, came around to where his sister was sitting and gave her a thank you hug.
"Aw, that's sweet. I knew we were bringing our kids up well." Julia marveled to Andy.
A low sobbing sound abruptly disturbed the moment. They turned to the origin of the noise. It appeared to be coming from the homeless man. He had tears streaming down his tangled beard as he continued to stare at the burger in front of him. The Brown's looked at each other in bewilderment.
"Hey mister, is everything alright?" Andy called from his seat.
"Yep. Everything's fine." The man said after sucking in his sobs.
"No, see. If you were fine, you wouldn't be crying." Andy replied hoping to lighten the conversation. "Want to say what's wrong?"
"Your son has touched me so."
"My son's always been a selfless person. He didn't mind giving you his burger." Andy said humbly assuming the old homeless man was moved by young Ephram's kind gesture.
"I appreciate the food, but that's not the reason for my tears." The man wiped his eyes with the ragged cuff of his coat.
"Oh?" Andy said curiously.
"It's just that no one has called me "sir" before. When your son called me "sir", I felt like I was a real human being again. I haven't felt that way for a long time." The man replied. The unexpected comment caught Andy and Julia off guard and they smiled at their son with pride.
*~*~*~*~*
"Wow, that's amazing!!" Nina exclaimed. "Ephram was able to touch the heart of a homeless man by treating him with respect and without judgment. Why am I not surprised? It's so in Ephram's nature."
"The boy has taught me a lot. He's made me see things that I wouldn't give a second thought to. He's always been compassionate – everything from the homeless man incident to feeding the pigeons. It's funny how someone like me could father such a spirited and tenderhearted boy like him." Andy said in a puff. "Because of him, I've learned to be more compassionate and sympathetic. I'm not the unfeeling person I used to be." He added. "He's made me see that."
"Ephram had influence in all of us." She agreed.
"It's not easy. There's so much pain inside of me seeing my baby like this. I don't know how to make this pain and anguish go away." Andy's voice quivered as he covered his eyes with his big calloused hands.
Nina threw her arms around Andy and allowed him to cry in her arms. The heavier the sobs, the better it felt. The feelings and raw emotion Andy unleashed truly touched Nina's heart. Soon enough, she found herself bawling her eyes out too. Crying was contagious. Their sobs reverberated through the empty stairwell. From afar, they appeared to be a couple lamenting the ill fate of their beloved child. Comforting each other, Andy and Nina left the stairwell and headed back to Ephram's room.
Their bodies were exhausted but neither Andy nor Nina could sleep a wink. The wee hours of the next morning ticked away as they seek solace in the isolation of Ephram's room. Andy continued to wipe the occasional drool off Ephram's mouth while Nina stroked the boy's cheek with motherly care. They watched his chest expand and contract as the ventilator supplied oxygen into his system. His rapid eye movement under his pasty purple eyelids exhibited his tranquil but difficult sleep.
"I wonder what he's dreaming of right now." Nina said softly.
"Oh, he's probably off in some distant paradise filled with images of Lara Croft." Andy replied in a low somber tone.
"Who?"
"Lara Croft from Tomb Raider. You know, Angelina Jolie. He's into that stuff now." Andy explained.
"Oh!" A smile spread across Nina's lips. "Boys will be boys." She played with a tuft of clammy hair on the boy's forehead. "It must be a good dream then."
"He's a regular Casanova – wearing his heart on his sleeve. Breaking the poor girl's heart."
Nina giggled and whispered towards the boy, "I stand corrected. It must be a very good dream. As inviting as it may seem, I know you want to stay there longer but you find your way back to us real soon, ok? We miss you."
Ephram's current dream world did not consist of a picturesque romp in fields of wild fragrant flowers chasing after a giggling Angelina Jolie with a flurry of pollen blowing around. Instead, it was one of darkness and confusion. His mind took him to a groundless place that lacked any light – just a misty gray fog that swirled around him. It was so dark that he couldn't see any part of his body. Panic and fear barreled him into the darkness. Running on air, the boy felt each step propelling him forward but he went nowhere. It was the ultimate hamster wheel. He cried for his dad. He called for Delia. He shouted Nina's name. He even yelled out for his mom. There was no one. He was alone. The gray fog got thicker and transformed itself into a gigantic hand that pushed him forward. He tried to break free from the mysterious force.
"Nooo." He cried and clawed his way back from being pushed in the direction the hand enforced. "Leave me alone. I don't want to go that way." He whimpered.
"Hush, my child. You do not know what you say or do. Let me guide you." A thundering male voice said. Ephram jerked his head around to locate the source of that voice but he found no one. He felt like he was listening to a voice-over in a TV commercial. He couldn't spot the unseen narrator anywhere.
"Who said that?" Ephram wheeled around several times. It was silent. The boy's heart rate increased. Suddenly, the hand-shaped fog came back and gave him a push about six feet forward. He panted heavily as fear settled in.
"Do not be afraid." The voice said. Ephram tried to match the voice with all the men in his life and came to the conclusion that this voice did not correspond with anyone he knew.
"Who are you? Why are you doing this to me?" Ephram hollered. The voice did not answer. Cold and scared, Ephram started to cry.
"Sweet wandering child, cease your tears. I will not harm you. I'm only here as your strength and as your guide." The voice finally said in the gentlest fashion. The massive hand-shaped fog wrapped around Ephram's tiny shoulders. And almost instantly, something extraordinary occurred. Ephram felt the fear and coldness lift away from his body. He felt invigorated and warm. The tears stopped. "I think you are feeling better now." The voice remarked.
"Who are you?" Ephram asked again. No reply. The fog gave Ephram a nudge. "Where am I? And where are you taking me?" The boy questioned.
"My child, you ask too many questions. You will soon see your destination." The patient voice replied after a pause. "Trust me. Let me take you into my hands."
* Yea – literally. * Ephram thought.
"Pun intended." The voice laughed.
"Hey!! How'd you know what I was thinking??" Ephram exclaimed in shock.
"I know many things." The voice said. Putting his trust in this new companion, Ephram allowed himself to be lead by the hand of fate.
"Where am I going?" Ephram asked after a while. No answer. "It's so dark in here. I can't see anything. You wouldn't happen to have a match on you, would you?" Still no answer. "Hello? You still there?" Ephram asked.
"I am always with you." The voice said wisely.
"Then why are you ignoring me?"
"I'm not ignoring you. You'll have to put your faith in me. Do you believe in me?" The voice echoed.
"Now look who's askin' all the questions." Ephram retorted. "Of course I believe in you. I don't see anybody else around here helpin' me."
"Good." The voice thundered. "You are very high spirited and audacious."
"No, I'm just being a wise-ass. Pardon my French." Ephram joked. "Runs in the family, I guess."
A soft chuckle was heard from the voice then silence.
"Can't you just give me a hint on where I'm going? Just a small hint? Please?" Ephram begged with curiosity. He felt a light breeze pass his cheek as the hand-shaped fog carried him forward.
"Patience, my child. You're almost there."
"You're not very talkative or informative, you know that?" Ephram challenged.
"All your questions will be answered soon. I promise you that."
Felt like an eternity had passed before Ephram was able to see something other than a thick gray swirl of fog. He saw a mysterious pink light. It wasn't bright enough to hurt his eyes and not dim enough to lose his attention. He did not especially feel drawn into this light nor did it frighten him. It was rather an ambivalent feeling. However, it did spark a certain curiosity.
"What's that?" Ephram asked referring to the strange light.
"That's where you're headed." The voice said calmly.
"Why?"
"There go your questions again."
"What if I don't want to go there?" He persisted.
"Oh – you will. It's part of the big picture. You might not see it now, but you will understand it eventually." The voice scolded in the most amiable nature.
"What big picture?"
"Every one is part of the big picture. But you, my child, are part of the great plan. You will do great things in your life."
"So, what does that mean? Would you care to shed some light on that Obi-wan Kenobi?"
"You may be cocky now but your temperamental character will touch many lives." The voice said boldly.
"Hey! Why'd we stop?" Ephram questioned as he felt the hand-shaped fog came to a halt.
"We have arrived. This is where I must leave you. You are to go towards that pink light."
"Will I get to see you on the other side of that light?"
"No. I'm afraid not."
"Then when do I get to see your face?" Ephram asked.
"Not for a long time, my curious child. Not for a long time." The voice laughed heartily. "Now go." Ephram felt a gentle shove pushing him a few feet forward.
"Alright. I'm going already but can you answer me just one more question?" Ephram insisted.
"Very well. What is it?" The exasperated voice said.
"Who are you? I mean really?" Ephram squinted into the darkness.
"Haven't you guessed it by now??" The voice teased. "I'm the creator of mankind." The voice chuckled.
With eyes widened and mouth gaping in shock from the answer from the voice, Ephram froze in disbelief. Another force projected him towards the pink light before he could say a word.
"Holy Crap!!!" Ephram yelled impulsively at the realization. "Oh! Sorry – Uh - I didn't mean that..." He apologized sheepishly at his blunder. Without acting upon it, he felt his legs walking quicker and quicker into the pink light. An enormous grin fell upon his lips. His walk became a jog. His jog progressed into a sprint. The pink light became a pastel shade of coral color – one of the most beautiful colors he'd ever seen.
"God!! God spoke to me!!!" He squeezed his eyes shut and yelled into the void. "I had a conversation with God!!!" He cried in joy.
With that, his eyes shot open to find he'd been returned to his room at the intensive care unit. Something was in his throat. At first, he didn't know what it was and tried to swallow but that only added to the discomfort. Gagging on the tube, he tried to cough it out. He felt nauseous. Panic- stricken, Ephram gasped for air. Suddenly, he heard voices. He recognized his father's voice above all. Ephram tried to grab hold of the breathing tube that was crammed in his throat but someone pinned his arms down. Multiple hands touched his chest and neck. He felt the prick of a syringe in the lower part of his neck and something was inserted into his trachea – another tube. There was no additional pain. He heard someone say something about a Tracheostomy. He felt the rawness in his throat as the breathing tube was pulled up from his mouth. He coughed and spit up phlegm.
"Good boy!" He heard his father say. "Coughing is a good sign. Get the mucus out of your system. There we go, baby." He wiped the secretion from Ephram's chin and lips with a towel. "Don't worry – the Tracheostomy tube will make it easier and more comfortable for you to breathe." Andy said while watching Ephram choke and gasp for air as the nurses finished up the procedure.
Looking into his father's eyes, Ephram tried to say something but his words came out in a loud grunt.
"It's ok. Don't speak. The breathing tube probably caused some soreness to your vocal chords. I'm just glad you finally decided to breath on your own." Andy smiled.
Ephram wanted to tell Andy so much. Robbed of his voice, Ephram was only able to plead with his eyes.
* God spoke to me, dad!!! * Ephram wanted to say.
Andy leaned in close to his son's ear and said, "I love you Ephram. With all my heart, I love you." With all the nurses fussing around the room, it was only loud enough for only Ephram to hear. He saw his father's eyes moisten again.
Suddenly, Ephram understood why God sent him back.
* end of chapter 5 *
Author's Note: What!!!!! Did you really think I was going to let Ephram die?! Haha. Had ya there for a minute though, didn't I?
Thanx for reading!! Stay tuned for the next chapter!!