"Do you know," Alucard looked up in surprise, fearing what surprise this twisted Wonderland held for him next, "I always thought dhampirs were fabulous monsters!"
Despite the completely random oddness of her words, Alucard was relieved to see his beloved wife, Bat, strolling leisurely across the moonlit green grass toward him. He seemed to be back in the meadow where this strange adventure started again, htough now it seemed to be night. He scrambled awkwardly up to his feet.
Silken, dusky purple panels fluttering in the breeze formed the skirt of the dress that suited her pale skin and graceful walk perfectly. She dropped to her knees in one swift motion, then leaned forward on her hands to look at Alucard face to face. Her long, midnight black hair was held back by a silver circlet, one bearing a tiny silver horn centered over her laughing lavender eyes. Alucard nearly lost his breath admiring the beauty of his wife's face, even as he realized that she was at least twenty times his size.
"Speak, dhampir," she purred, though neither bats, nor unicorns, were supposed to.
"Bat!" Alucard exclaimed delightedly.
She protested as she touched her glowing silver horn, "Not a bat! I'm a unicorn!"
"Not you too!" Alucard moaned. "What madness is this?!"
Bat blinked down into his eyes. "No madness," she stated calmly. "This is Wonderland."
"None of this makes sense!" Alucard protested. "D's eating cakes and drinking tea with Ghost, I have no idea what Sword and Demon think they are doing with their weird squabbling and completely insane outfits (why does Sword think he needs to wear clothing all of a sudden anyway?) and even Left Hand is acting more loony than usual. And Father..." Alucard ran his hand through his hair in an exasperated gesture.
"I'm worried that he's having too much fun with some bizarre game he is playing! He keeps randomly popping in after every encounter, but disappears soon after. And now, you. You think you are a unicorn and somehow you've grown to giant size!"
"Silly dhampir!" Bat dimpled down at him. "Think!"
Think? Think? What did she...
Oh.
"The tea D gave me. If this is Wonderland as you all are so madly insisting, then I'm Alice," Alucard admitted flatly. "And the tea I drank shrank me."
Bat smiled approvingly down at him again before offering him the safe plateau of her open palms. Alucard didn't hesitate for a moment, stepping into his wife's hands.
"Not Alice," Bat declared. "Alucard. Alucard in Wonderland!"
"You're so cute!" Bat exclaimed, bringing Alucard up to snuggle her face delicately against his. "But, this being Wonderland, I suppose you should be your proper size again."
Bat tipped her hands slowly encouraging Alucard to settle fully in her right hand, while she reached her left hand up to touch the soft glow of her silver "horn", brought her hand down to kiss the tip of her index finger, and with the same finger touched Alucard gently on the head. He felt the same dizzying sensation he had before, though this time it felt as though he was unfalling. He stared into Bat's eyes, using their loveliness and concern as an anchor until the world stopped tilting crazily around him.
This time she appeared to be her proper size, just tall enough that the top of her head fit neatly under his chin when he hugged her. Thinking that it was a capital idea, Alucard reached out to embrace her. She ducked, not from his embrace, but into it.
"If you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you," Bat promised dreamily. "Is that a bargain?"
"Of course, sweetheart," Alucard promised her. Bat spun from his arms and stamped her foot angrily. "That's not what you're supposed to say!" she accused.
"Now, now, Unicorn, some variation is to be expected. Alucard is not Alice, as you yourself pointed out!" a new voice soothed.
"So this encounter, which though strange, yet sweeter than the others, is so soon to be over?" Alucard mourned.
"The unicorn has already disappeared," Dracula noted matter-of-factly.
Alucard turned to discover his father was correct. There was no sign of Bat anywhere.
"Now where?" Alucard sighed.
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Author's Notes -
Everyone should go and read (or re-read) Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, and Through the Looking Glass again. This time the lines I borrowed more or less intact are from Through the Looking Glass, from when Alice meets the Unicorn and the Unicorn agrees to believe in the "fabulous monster" of a little girl (in the person of Alice) if she will believe in him.
Next chapter teaser - Chapter Five - Cheshire Count
Reviews, comments and constructive criticisms are always welcome! Please feel free to email me also if you see something awkward that needs to be clarified or fixed. I need all the help I can get!
stargarde (at) stargarde (dot) com