Over and Over I Search
"Hiwatari-kun!"
"No! I want to do this! Leave me alone Niwa-kun! I need to get rid of this curse…you don't know how I feel! Leave me alone!"
"No!" Daisuke leapt at Satoshi and knocked him away from his death. Satoshi could only stare up at Daisuke with disbelief in his eyes.
Daisuke kept his position on top of Satoshi, gripping his shoulders tightly, and yelled at him, "You can't die yet! If you don't die, then we have a chance to meet again. You can meet someone that'll love you!" The last part was in a whisper.
Satoshi watched in wonder as tears started falling down Daisuke's face. He watched the tears trail down Daisuke's cheek, Satoshi desperately wanted to stop the tears. Some tears landed on Daisuke's lips. As Satoshi reached up to wipe them off, he was surprised that Daisuke was about to do the same thing to him. Satoshi reached up to his own face and was surprised to see that there were tears flowing down his own cheeks. 'What is this? What is this feeling? No...I thought I was over this.'
"You can't die…You can't…I can't believe you almost left…why Hiwatari-kun, why?" Daisuke dropped his head, trying not to look at Satoshi's creamy and pale skin.
Satoshi ignored the tickle he felt when Daisuke's hair brushed his chest, "You can't understand, Daisuke. I have to be rid of him. I have to be rid of him. I can't…I can't love with him around…and I don't want a life without love! I can't handle anymore of this loveless life! It's not worth it!"
At those words, Daisuke sat up and straddled Satoshi's hips, staring down at him. "A loveless life? What do you mean?"
"All my life, no one has EVER cared for me. My father became corrupted, I was forced to work early, and I had to take care of myself. And then when Krad came along, I couldn't allow anything to become precious to me, otherwise he'd come out."
"But you've transformed before."
"Yes, I know."
"But what triggered it?"
Satoshi looked straight into Daisuke's eyes. Daisuke felt his breath taken away, but he had no idea why. Satoshi made a motion to push up his glasses, "Something became precious to me."
"What became precious?"
Satoshi chuckled softly and went to push up glasses that weren't there, but paused and then placed his hand on Daisuke's cheek softly, "Baka." Satoshi said affectionately.
Satoshi pulled himself up and leaned in toward Daisuke and slowly closed his eyes.
"Dark!"
Satoshi felt Daisuke scramble off of him and stare off into space. 'What's going on?' He looked at Daisuke and saw that he was having a conversation with Dark. He went behind Daisuke and placed his hands on his shoulders.
"Niwa…Daijoubu?" No response.
"Niwa-kun! Daijoubu desu ka?"
"Daisuke! DAISUKE!" Satoshi spun Daisuke around and saw Daisuke looking down at his feet.
Daisuke looked up at Satoshi, "Satoshi…" Satoshi felt his ears burn red a little. 'Now is definitely NOT the time for this.'
"Satoshi…he's…gone."
"Daisuke? What are you talking about? What do you mean he's gone? You mean…oh."
"He's gone…Satoshi…what will I do? I'm alone again."
"You have Harada-san." Satoshi said quietly, turning his eyes away from Daisuke.
"But she's…she can't fill it…She can't fill it!" Daisuke collapsed on the ground, hands gripping at his chest.
Satoshi knelt next to Daisuke and gathered him up into his arms. "It's okay Daisuke, it'll be okay. I'm here." Satoshi continued to comfort Daisuke until he started to doze off lightly. Suddenly, Daisuke opened his eyes back up and stared up at Satoshi.
"Dark? No…Satoshi." Daisuke snuggled into Satoshi's embrace and fell asleep. Satoshi saw no reason to wake him up, so he just lay down on his side, still cradling Daisuke, and joined him in his slumber.
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"Hiwatari-kun.
"Hiwatari-kun!"
Satoshi bolted up and found himself staring right at Daisuke.
"Urm…sorry, I guess I must've dozed off."
"Iie, don't worry about it. Let's get out of here, okay?"
"Hai hai." Satoshi made to stand up, but found he couldn't. He fell back on his butt adorably.
"Hiwatari-kun?" 'Kawaii…No…I can't think that Satoshi…Hiwatari-kun is cute. I have Riku. But…is she enough?'
"Iie, I'm fine. Just…a bit hurt."
"Here, let me help you."
"No, I'm fine."
Satoshi tried to stand up again, but he fell straight into Daisuke's arms. Daisuke had anticipated it, so he was fine. He sighed as he wrapped Satoshi's arm around him.
"Baka." He chided gently. Satoshi blushed from the embarrassing situation he was in. He was too close. He couldn't afford to let his feelings resurface.
Daisuke eyed Satoshi carefully. Satoshi never blushes. Why was he blushing now? All of a sudden, Daisuke felt a warmth start from his shoulders that spread to his toes. Daisuke knew that he was blushing too. The warmth seemed to stem from Satoshi's arm. 'I guess I'm happy that he's okay. There's nothing wrong with that…but why am I blushing? I can't…'
"Well Hiwatari-kun, you ready to get out of here?"
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
Satoshi and Daisuke limped away from the destruction together. They had escaped alive. But they had both lost something important there. They stood on the edge of the destruction, watching the sun rise. They stood in companionable silence, reflecting on what would happen after today.
"Ne, Niwa?"
"Hai?"
"You can love now. You have no fear of turning into Dark anymore. You can love now."
"So can you Hiwatari-kun. You don't have to worry about Krad coming out and killing anything precious of yours."
"I never could avoid that, so that won't change." Satoshi turned and looked at Daisuke 'I can't forget him…No matter what I try.'
"And besides Niwa-kun, Boku wa shinpai shinai de. Itsumademo boku ga taisetsu na mono o mamoru kara. 'I'm not worried because I will always protect my precious thing.'
Daisuke looked down and blushed again. 'I have Riku…I have Riku…'
"Niwa?"
"H-hai?"
"Do you mind if I keep this coat?"
'Satoshi in my coat…with no shirt on…uh oh…bad thoughts. Riku…Riku damnit!' "Go ahead."
Satoshi felt his heart stop as he saw Daisuke smile at him.
Satoshi couldn't stop himself. He raised his hand and cupped Daisuke's cheek. "You really are an amazing guy. I…You-"
"Niwa-kun!" Both boys drew themselves away from the intense gaze they had shared.
Satoshi's eyes narrowed, 'Fuck, it's those twins.'
"Niwa-kun!" Riku flung herself onto Daisuke.
"Riku-san." Daisuke hugged her. He had Riku, he always had Riku. She was his friend…always his friend. Daisuke snuck a look at Satoshi, and his heart almost broke.
He saw Satoshi looking at Risa who was looking back at him. And Satoshi seemed like he was almost…smiling. 'I knew it. This is just…this is the way it was meant to be. I'm supposed to be with…Riku.' Daisuke buried his face into Riku's hair and let small tears flow into her hair.
x x x x x x x x x x x x x
Satoshi looked over at Daisuke, watching him hug Harada-san. He sighed and turned back to the sunrise. Of course he couldn't have Daisuke; the prince had gotten his princess. And the evil enemy was left in the darkness. Satoshi looked up and saw Risa smiling at him.
'Left in the darkness with a witch that has a wart on her nose.' Satoshi half smiled and half grimaced at the girl.
When Satoshi snuck another look at Daisuke, he knew he had to go. He couldn't handle the sight of Daisuke snuggled up with Riku. He didn't even turn around when Daisuke called his name.
x x x x x x x x x x x
"Konnichiwa Hiwatari-kun!" Satoshi was eating lunch again on the roof and was almost annoyed at the disturbance of his solitude. But when he saw that it was Daisuke, his annoyance subsided, a little.
Satoshi looked up at Daisuke then looked back down at his own lunch of bread. What was Daisuke playing at? It wasn't enough that he had to rub his relationship with Riku in his face, but he had to constantly be around him to tempt him? Daisuke didn't seem the type to be a sadist, but boy could he pull it off.
"Hiwatari-kun?" Daisuke's voice had taken on an almost pathetic tone to it. He was ashamed that he had resorted to begging, but he wanted Satoshi back. Even though he knew he couldn't be with Satoshi, he still wanted him around. "Hiwatari-kun?"
Satoshi sighed, "What do you want Niwa?"
"Hiwa-Hiwatari-kun?"
"Niwa, I don't have all day."
"Why do you hate me?" This definitely broke Satoshi's cold façade.
"I don't hate you Niwa, don't be silly."
"Of course you do! Ever since Krad and Dark left, you've been nothing but cold to me. Why do you hate me? I thought that now since they were gone, we could finally be…friends, but you just pushed me away."
"Niwa, I don't hate you."
"You don't even call me Niwa-kun! Do you not consider me a friend? Please, I want to be your friend Hiwatari-kun. Please let me."
"It's…it's too hard Niwa-kun."
"Too hard to be my friend? Why?"
"Because…because…"
"Please Hiwatari-kun! I need you…You make me feel safe…what can I do?"
Satoshi rubbed his face tiredly, "It's because, Niwa-kun, I…"
"Hiwataaaaaaari-kun!" Satoshi and Daisuke both turned to look for the voice and saw Risa running towards them. Daisuke thought he heard Satoshi mutter a soft curse, but then dismissed it as a mere hallucination. Satoshi was probably going to end up with Risa.
Satoshi nodded, "Harada-san."
"Would you like to walk me to the lunch room?"
"Sorry. I have something to do."
"Oh…Okay, maybe next time." Risa bounced right up to Satoshi and kissed him on the cheek then walked away. Satoshi just sighed, took out a handkerchief, and then wiped his cheek off.
"Hiwatari-kun?"
Satoshi turned and looked at Daisuke. Daisuke had his head down and his bangs were covering his eyes. He looked so sad, but Satoshi wouldn't allow himself to imagine why.
"Do you…Do you like Harada-san?"
"I think…that she's a bit…delusional." At that, Daisuke's face lit up and he beamed at Satoshi. Then he realized that it was very selfish for him to be happy that Satoshi wasn't with anyone. He had Riku, shouldn't Satoshi have someone? Even though it hurts…
"Niwa-kun?"
"Ha-hai?"
"Why'd you ask me if I like Harada-san?"
"Because she seems to like you. And she's pretty and…" Daisuke returned to looking down at the floor. 'Why? Why are there these tears? I can't like him…I can't like him. Riku…I belong to Riku. But these feelings, they aren't for her.'
"Niwa-kun", Daisuke looked up, "I have only had feelings for one person, ever. That hasn't changed through the whole Dark and Krad ordeal. They just…don't have the same feelings for me."
"Who…who do you have feelings for?"
Satoshi looked Daisuke straight in the eye, took a breath, and then said, "He has always been there with me, even though we were not great friends. He is the only friend I've ever had. And he-"
"Niwa-kun!" Satoshi groaned and Daisuke groaned inwardly.
"Yes Riku-san?"
"You promised to meet me for lunch!"
"Oh…gomen ne Riku-san. I forgot."
"Well…I'll meet you there then. I need to get food."
"Hai."
Riku turned and walked down towards the cafeteria.
"Hiwatari-"Daisuke looked around, confused. Where was he? He walked towards the edge of the roof. "Hiwatari-kun!"
"I'm right here." Daisuke looked down and saw Satoshi sitting by the rail, watching the children run around.
Daisuke sat next to Satoshi and looked at the sky. "So where we? Who is your special person?"
Satoshi sighed. That appearance of Riku reminded him that Daisuke probably wasn't going to be his anytime soon. "No one. Forget I said anything."
"You deserve someone." Satoshi turned to look at Daisuke, who was staring at the sky, refusing to look at him. "You deserve someone to love. You shouldn't be alone. Please…" Daisuke looked down at his own hands. "Please go after the one you love."
Satoshi looked at Daisuke then looked at the sky, "Maybe…maybe someday. But not right now."
Daisuke stood up slowly, "I have to meet…Harada-san."
"Jaa ne Niwa-kun."
Daisuke looked at Satoshi. He was beautiful. The afternoon sun was glistening on Satoshi's hair. Daisuke was mesmerized.
"Niwa-kun, what're you doing?
"Niwa-kun?"
Satoshi turned around and was met with a dazed Daisuke.
"Stand up Hiwatari-kun."
"Nani?"
"Stand up."
Satoshi stood up, eyeing Daisuke warily. Satoshi had only just stood up when he was pulled into a hug by Daisuke. Satoshi's arms hung limply by his side. Unsure of what to do, he wrapped them around Daisuke's waist, not knowing the significance of it. He didn't think anything was wrong…Daisuke didn't say anything about it.
"Hiwatari-kun?"
Satoshi leaned into Daisuke a little more. "Hn?"
"Don't leave me again."
"I…I won't."
"I need you…I feel safe with you. I need you…to be my friend."
Satoshi sighed. 'Crap, talk about a rude awakening. Why does he do this to me?' Satoshi gently pushed Daisuke away. "You have a girlfriend to meet." He then walked back to the railing and sat down.
"I'm…I'm sorry." Daisuke whispered sadly. He then turned and walked downstairs to meet his friend Riku.
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A/n: I'm not sure where this is going…I mean, I do know, but it's a slow writing. Please read and review like always…
Haha, oh man, Satoshi wipes his cheek off after Risa kisses him…that was HILARIOUS to me.
The hug thing was inspired by a fan art that I saw on a DNAngel website. I recommend you jet over there, cuz it's an awesome site. It's called OFFRAMP- a D.N.Angel site.
Dnangel dot neutralred dot org
It's a bawesome site. I can't find her e-mail address…if the webmistress sees this, sorry that I haven't e-mailed you for credit!