Dracozombie: you are either very good at predicting the future or reading minds. even as we speak, er rather type...read? anyways, I'm in the midst of writing five new chapters, one of which, which has that exact premise. anywho, thanks for being such a loyal reader, I enjoy writing this story and am glad people enjoy reading them.

(Everyone is in the main room. This time, Gate was playing pool with life Saver, Douglas was fixing the tv, since Zero changed the channel by throwing his light saber at it by accident, Signas was sitting in his new chair doing his work on his new lab top, Iris and Alia were sitting on the couch talking, and Rush was sleeping in Zero's chair again. Just then X stormed in.)

X: That does it! That's it!

Gate: What. You have an idea?

X: (angry sarcasm) No!

Gate: Then what's it?

Life Saver: I just won the game, that's what.

Gate: Blast...

X: (quietly) Yea, yea, congratulations. (yelling) I can't take it anymore!

Life Saver: What, I've only won twice.

X: Not you, Zero!

Iris: Zero?

X: The way he's been acting lately is really getting on my nerves.

Life Saver: Well finally you know how Gate and I feel.

Douglas: And me.

Signas: And sometimes me.

Alia: He's nice to me.

Iris: He's nice to me too...really nice.

Colonel: Please, stop there.

(X turns around and notices that the Colonel had walked in from behind him.)

X: Colonel. When did you get here?

Colonel: I walked in right behind you. So will you move please, you're blocking the door.

(X moves and the Colonel goes to sit in the chair by Zero's.)

Iris: X, just tell us what's wrong.

X: It's not just one thing, it's many things, and it's not just today either.

Colonel: What are we doing here anyway, what's going on?

Douglas: We're bad mouthing Zero. Care to join us?

Colonel: Can I!

X: I can't put up with Zero. He's a sloppy fat drunk who does nothing helpful to us, except sleep and occasionally taking care of Rush, who is better than Zero.

Alia: We've all known that for a long time.

X: I'm not done yet, I haven't even begun. He's a lazy slob who causes nothing but trouble and gets in our way when we work, not that he's ever done any. This morning I was asleep when Zero burst in my room yelling and complaining, and stuffing his face, getting food everywhere, throwing beer cans at me while jumping on my bed. Finally I woke up and asked him what was wrong and he said that he had a tummy ache.

Gate: Well duh, with what he was eating and drinking.

X: Exactly. So then I told him that I had some aspirin, but I didn't know where. So Zero begins to tear apart everything in my room, including my bed, which I was still in. He found them after destroying my desk, and everything on it, but the bottle was empty. I was about to send him to see Life Saver...

Life Saver: Oh, don't you dare.

X: ...but he just grabbed his stomach and threw up everywhere. Instead of cleaning it up, or even apologizing, he took the money out of my wallet on the floor and left.

Douglas: Why didn't you tell anyone to clean up your room?

X: Because I did it myself. Oh, Zero is so bad that I can't even describe it!

(Just then Zero walked in.)

Zero: Hi everybody! (Everyone but Iris looked at him angrily, she just watched.) Uhm, this is the part, where you all are supposed to say, hi Zero.

X: Don't, hi Zero, me.

Zero: X, what's the matter?

X: Don't you remember this morning!?

Zero: No.

Douglas: I fixed the tv.

(But then a light saber flew out of nowhere and crashed into the tv. Douglas looked angrily at Zero.)

Zero: What? Oh I get it, blame the only one with a light saber.

X: And I want my twenty dollars back.

Zero: No you don't.

Iris: Come on Zero, we should go back to our room and talk.

Zero: Woo, ok. Talk.

(Iris and Zero leave.)

Colonel: What does she see in him?

X: I don't know, but since you're her brother why don't you do something about it?

Colonel: Well I would, but I'm not here most of the time, so I don't know what all goes on.

X: Well what are we going to do then?

Douglas: I don't know. You know, the only time Zero wasn't acting up was when he thought that he was going to die. Too bad that he isn't thinking that all the time.

X: Douglas, that's it! You just solved our problem.

Douglas: Well I do fix things... for a living.

X: Guys I have a plan.

Alia: What are you planning to do X?

X: Well I'm going to tell you. First I need a volunteer, or two. (Life Saver and Gate raised their hands.) I couldn't agree more. Haha!

Life Saver and Gate: Haha!

X: Hey, I didn't say that you could laugh.

(The three of them leave.)

Alia: I wonder what they're going to do?

Douglas: Well we'll just have to wait and see.

(Later on, X was running around the base trying to find Zero. Finally he went outside and saw him standing there with his hair blowing in the wind, like Neon Tiger always imagined.)

X: Zero.

Zero: Oh hey X.

X: What are you doing out here?

Zero: Oh, Rush ran off and so Iris had to go chase after him.

X: Iris, why didn't you do it?

Zero: Oh. Because, uhm...I stepped on a splinter, see? (He holds out his thumb, X look at it and raises an eyebrow.) In my thumb. I stepped on a splinter in my thumb.

X: I see. That's very serious Zero, we should take you to see Life Saver for that.

Zero: Aw I don't wanna go!

X: But I thought you liked to bug Life Saver.

Zero: ...I do, don't I.

(X takes Zero to see Life Saver and then leaves to go get Gate ready. He comes back to see Zero sitting in Life Saver's chair that looked like a chair to get your hair cut in, and Life Saver was standing with a big hammer, hitting him on the head with it. Zero kept saying 'ow' even though it really didn't hurt.)

X: Wait, Life Saver, why are you doing that!

Life Saver: Oh no, it's ok X. See, Zero's helmet is so thick I could do this all day and not get tired, besides it's not like he has a brain in his head anyway. Heh, he's like Homer Simpson! (He continues to hit Zero as X watches, hurting Zero wasn't part of the plan, but then again it wasn't hurting Zero. Just then Life Saver stopped.) Oh!

X: What is it?

Life Saver: My arm. My elbow got sore from hitting Zero all this time.

Zero: Haha, you were trying to hurt me and you hurt yourself. (Life Saver groaned angrily and hit him on the face.) Ah, my eye!

(Life Saver just smiled. Zero held his nose, there was a little blood coming out.)

Life Saver: Oh dear, it looks like your fat lip is bleeding.

X: We'd better take you to see Gate.

Zero: Ah the ice cream man.

X: Actually I think he does have ice cream this time... (Before he could finish, Zero ran off, leaving a dust figure of himself in the pose he was in.) Zero...Zero?

(But he was gone. X looked up at Life Saver.)

Life Saver: So is Gate ready?

X: Yup, we're gonna get Zero good. Haha.

Life Saver: Can I laugh this time too?

X: Well....I don't see why not.

Life Saver: Haha.

(Zero had burst into Gate's lab room by the time X and Life Saver came in.)

Zero: Where is it, where is it?

Gate: Where's what?

Zero: The ice cream, that's what! So where is it?

Gate: Uhm....over, over there.

(Gate points off to some random place and Zero runs over.)

Zero: Hey, there's nothing here.

Gate: Oh, no, see it's, uhm, invisible ice cream. Yea, it's all the craze.

Zero: Invisible ice cream eh.

(Zero begins to grab at and eat the air. Gate stands next to X and Life Saver.)

Life Saver: That ought to keep him entertained.

Gate: No not my experiment!

(Zero had eaten something by accident.)

Zero: Oh, sorry... I spilled some of the invisible ice cream on it.

(Zero keeps eating the air.)

Gate: Ok, ok, you know what, there really is no ice cream, I lied, there's no such thing as invisible ice cream.

Zero: There's not, so what did I eat then?

X: Air.

Zero: Oh...

Gate: Not to mention the test sample in my petri dish.

Zero: ???

Gate: (sigh) So why did you disturb my peace, Zero?

Zero: Light Saber hit me with a hammer.

Gate: Really?

(Gate smiles and gets the hammer and hits him, but hard and it does hurt him.)

X: Ok, ok Gate, I think he gets the point now.

(Gate puts the hammer away, Zero is all battered and bleeding.)

Gate: Well his condition is beyond me, you'd better take him to a doctor outside the company.

X: Ok sounds good, come on Zero...Zero? Zero!

(Zero was back in the corner eating air again, and he knocked over Life Saver's new test tube case onto Gate's new lab coat, ruining them both. Gate and Life Saver growl and slap their forehead with their hand. X takes Zero to a doctor outside the base. It was just somebody Gate and Life Saver knew and told about Zero. It was the doctor from the hospital that gave the skinny man Zero's fat on crackers.)

Doctor: So, this is Negative One.

X: No, I said his name was Zero.

Doctor: Oh, ha, close enough, I knew it was some number. And you are... B?

X: X!

Doctor: Right, right. I knew it was some letter. Haha!

Zero: Haha, hey I like this guy X.

X: Good, then why don't you two get acquainted.

(X leaves so the doctor can do his work. After he finishes all the testing and doing an exam, he sat down with Zero in his office to talk.)

Doctor: Well Zero now all we do is wait for the test results to come back from the lab.

Zero: Well, how long will that take?

Doctor: About four to six... (something dinged.) Seconds.

(The doctor took out an envelope from the computer tray and opened it. X came into the room.)

X: So Zero, how did it go?

Zero: He's going to tell me something right now.

Doctor: Oh dear, this doesn't look very good, no, it doesn't look very good at all.

Zero: What, did your stupid kid draw you a lousy picture?

X: Zero!

Doctor: I don't have a kid, I'm not even married. Five, I'm talking about your tests.

Zero: Five?

Doctor: Oh, sorry. Uhm, Twelve?

X: His name is Zero!

Doctor: Right, right, Zero. (You'd think Zero would know how he makes Life Saver feel, but no, this is Zero we're talking about here...) I'm sorry Zero but your results tested positive, I'm afraid you have less than a month to live.

Zero: ...wait, what?

X: (crying) Zero, I...I'm sorry.

Zero: Why X, why are you sorry?

X: I'm sorry that you're going to die!

Zero: Well no duh X, I know I'm gonna die, he just told me!

X: (Stops crying) Oh, right...

Zero: Can't I not die, what's wrong with me?

Doctor: Well, you're going to have a heart attack because of all the beer and fatty foods you eat. And the way you act, you cause trouble and never do work, you sleep a lot and are sloppy and lazy. That's called stress and stress makes your heart weaker. It's too late now, if you listened to your friends sooner, you'd probably wouldn't be dying.

Zero: Oh... ok, well thanks anyway.

(X takes Zero back to the base and they go into the main room. Everyone was sitting on the couches by the table talking and eating snacks and drinking while Gate was setting up the pool table again. X sat down.)

X: Hey guys, we're back from the doctor.

Iris: How did it go?

Zero: Aw, my co-workers, your like family and friends to me. You know, I don't say this often enough, but ah, I'm gonna die.

Iris: Oh my god!

Life Saver: Yes! High five! (He looks around, but because they didn't know about the plan they just stared back in shock.) Anyone? Anyone?

(Gate walks over, slaps him a high five, then continues walking. Zero sits down in his chair and starts to cry. Rush goes over to him, Iris gets up and does too.)

Iris: Come on, let's take you back to your room so we can talk.

Zero: Aw Iris, I don't wanna do that right now!

Iris: No Zero, we're actually going to talk this time.

Zero: Oh.

(Iris turns around to see everybody looking shocked at them.)

Iris: Not that we haven't before...

(Iris quickly runs out of the room with Zero and Rush follows them. X tries to hold it in but laughs.)

Alia: X, what in the world could you be laughing about at a time like this?

X: You guys, that was my plan! I did what Douglas said, I scared Zero into thinking that he'd die so that he wouldn't act up.

Colonel: You have to admit, him crying and running away is a nice change from him yelling and running at us.

Douglas: Well are you going to tell him?

Colonel: Wait a while, we should let it set in so he learns his lesson. Besides, if scaring him is the only way we can have some peace, why break it?

(The phone rang.)

X: I got it. Hello?

(He spoke in the background as everyone continued their conversation.)

Alia: Gate, were you and Life Saver in on this?

Gate: Yup. I called a co-worker at the hospital and told him about Zero, I asked if he could help us and he said he'd be glad to.

Life Saver: I may have hurt my elbow, but it was worth it to see the look on Zero's face.

(Just then X came over after finishing on the phone. He stood in front of the table and everyone turned to him, seeing the horrified look on his face.)

Signas: Who was it X?

X: That was the doctor we took Zero to see.

Douglas: What did he want?

X: Well apparently he got his story mixed up and he really did exam Zero.

Colonel: What's the problem with that, that walking disease bad needs to get checked up on every once in a while. I got strep throat from him after using the shower in the locker room after him.

X: No you don't get it, the exam wasn't the only real thing...so were the tests...and the lab results. (Everyone froze, they understood what he was getting at.) Zero really is gonna die.

(Everyone was still frozen and quiet, they were shocked.)

Life Saver: Yes! High five! (He looked around and everyone gave him a weird look.) Anyone? Anyone?

(Meanwhile, Iris and Rush were with Zero in his room, he stopped crying but was still scared and upset.)

Zero: Why does it have to be me, why couldn't it be Light Saber.

Iris: You don't really mean that do you.

Zero: (Sniff) No. I'm just scared Iris, I don't wanna die! There's so much I wanna do that I haven't got to yet.

Iris: Like what?

Zero: Like a lotta stuff. And now I'll never be able to.

Iris: Zero, how long did the doctor say you had to live?

Zero: About a month, why?

Iris: Zero you still have time, time to do all the things you wanted to and never got a chance for.

Zero: So what should I do?

Iris: Everything! Make a list of all that you want to do, and we'll do it.

Zero: Really?

Iris: Zero, of course. We're your friends. (She kissed him.) And I'm your wife.

(Zero looked at her and they began to kiss. Iris lay down and Zero was about to but he turned to see Rush looking stupid and wagging his tail happily.)

Zero: Get outa here!

(Zero threw his empty gun at him and Rush ran out of the room and down the hall, he ran into the main room and jumped onto Zero's chair. Everyone was still in there talking.)

Signas: So X, what do we do now?

X: Me? Why are you asking me?

Colonel: Because you're the one behind this master plan!

Alia: What, why do you care, you hate him as much as Gate and Life Saver do.

Colonel: That may be, but I never wanted him to get sick and die!

Douglas: Sure you do, you just said that a few minutes ago.

Colonel: Because I didn't think it was real, I was only kidding!

Signas: Alright, alright, calm down people! We aren't the ones we should be concerned about right now, it's Zero, he's probably really scared right now and we should be there for him. Especially you X, you're his friend.

X: So should I tell him we tricked him but that it's really real?

Gate: No, that would just confused him.

X: Ok. I'm going to go see Zero. I'm going to bring him here so we can all talk.

Alia: That sounds like a good idea, we should all be here for Zero. Everybody.

(She looked over at Gate and Life Saver. They both sighed and Gate sat down in between Life Saver and Alia. X came back with Zero and Iris. Iris sat down by her brother and began to cry on him. Douglas was sitting next to the Colonel and Signas was at the head of the table. X and Zero sat at the other side across from Signas.)

Signas: You know Zero, we've been giving your situation a lot of thought, and...

Zero: No, no guys first, there's something that I want to say. (He stood up and cleared his throat so it would sound like he wasn't upset.) I just want to say that I'm sorry. I know that I've been a handful and a lot of things lately and I just want to say that I'm sorry. No, I really am. All of it is what's responsible for me gonna die. The beer, the food, everything! And now I'm going to die, and some of you may be happy about it... (He looked at Gate and Life Saver.) But there's somebody in this room that's going to be more affected by my death than me, and in a bad way. And that's my wife Iris. I don't ever want to do anything bad to hurt her, but I guess I did without knowing it. (Iris was hugging her brother's arm, her face was pink from crying.) She suggested that since I have less than a month before my heart attack that I should go out and do everything that I ever wanted to do but will never get a chance to now that I'll soon be dead.

Signas: Zero, I...

Zero: No, no, let me finish, please.

Signas: Ok.

(Signas was shocked at how mature and professional Zero was acting. Everybody was a little shocked, but they figured it was because of him acting different because he knew he was going to die.)

Zero: There's something that I want to say to each and every one of you, as part of my last things to do list. (He turned to look at each person as he spoke to them.) Douglas. You're a hard worker and a good friend, you help us all out a lot and I just want to say I'm sorry. I know that I break a lot of the stuff you make, and you continue to put up with me. I just want to say I know, and I'm sorry. Colonel. I know you never liked me, in fact, you hated me even more since I married your little sister. But you've been cool about it, and you haven't killed me or pressured Iris to get a divorce, (Colonel looked around nervously.) but I just want to thank you, I know it means a lot to me, and to her. And Iris, my lovely, beautiful wife, I love you more than anything in the world, and I just want you to know that and remember it forever after I'm gone. But there's one thing I want you to do after I die, I don't want you to...

Iris: (Sniff) Oh Zero, I could never re-marry.

Zero: Dam strait! Light Saber. (Life Saver rolled his eyes. He's gonna die and he still can't get his name right.) I know you hate me. We've never really gotten a long at all, but I guess it's because we're just different. I know you'll be happy when I'm gone. Gate, you too. You may not hate me as much as Light Saber, but you've always been there for me. You were the ice cream man when I was hungry. You were the marriage man when I married Iris. You were the dentist that came after me with the power tools. You were the doctor that stuck a vacuum in me. You were...

Gate: Ok, ok, I think we get it.

Zero: Oh, right. Ok then. Alia. You're such a pretty lady, you've been nothing but nice to me and I've known you for a long time. Whenever I go out on a mission you're always there to help me, watching my back. You're a good person to be around and I hope we had lots of fun. Signas. You're my boss, my leader, you put a roof over my head, food in my mouth and it goes into my stomach and then out the toilet.

Signas: Yes Zero, I think we know how that works...

Zero: Oh right, sorry. But anyways. What is this about you dressing people? You never dressed me before! Not that I ever wanted you to...that's just sick! But not as sick as me. I know you've gone a lot to put up with me, and you still haven't fired me after all this time. I just want to say thank you. I owe you a lot. And X, my best friend. (X didn't want to look up at Zero, he still felt guilty about tricking him only to find out that he really was going to die after all.) You've always been there for me as my friend, through the thick and thin. We're partners and I'm sorry I never acted like it. If anything you carried my weight... which I know is a lot. I know I'm not all that great in return, but I want to say I'm sorry to you the most because you're my best friend, and the best Maverick Hunter in the headquarters.

X: (Sniff) Oh Zero.

(X tries not to cry, and he hugs Zero. Rush paws at Zero's leg, whining.)

Zero: I know, I know, I didn't forget you Rush. X gave me to you, and you've been the best dog a guy could have. I want you to be a good boy when I'm gone ok. No more bothering Gate in his lab, no more accidents that you make Light Saber clean up. (Rush whimpers and Gate and Life Saver roll their eyes, knowing that he would.) Well, I guess that's it, that's everybody... except for the General, but he's not in. So, I guess I'd better go and work on my list of things I want to do before I die.

(Zero sighed and sadly walked back to his room.)

Iris: Guys this is terrible, we really have to do something about this.

X: I know, I wish that there was something we could do, but we can't. He's gonna die.

Gate: You know Life Saver, maybe we are too hard on him.

Life Saver: No, I don't think so.

Gate: But he's going to die!

Life Saver: I regret nothing.

(Just then the phone rang. X was closest so he answered it.)

X: Hello? .... Oh my god!

(He took Zero and immediately rushed to the hospital. It was the doctor who called and told them to come down right away, it was very important about Zero. They sat in his office waiting for the doctor to come in. X was scared, what happened, was Zero even worse, was he going to die even sooner? Zero was busy writing onto his list. Then the doctor came in looking at papers in the folder.)

Doctor: Oh dear, this doesn't look good, this doesn't look good at all.

X: Oh my god.

Doctor: Heh, one of the nurses wrote me a note. It looks like she's in love with me.

X: Can we please get to Zero now?

Doctor: Of course. Zero I'd like to tell you I have good news... so I will. (X and Zero look up shocked and confused.) Your test results tested negative. It turns out I got the paper work switched and put in the wrong folder. But hey, that's not surprising seeing how I never even went to med school. I mean look at this bundle of papers of all the people who've sued me. (The doctor opened a file and a bunch of papers burst out and few forward into the air.)

X: So nothing's wrong with him?

Doctor: Yes.

Zero: Whoa, whoa, wait. So what, there's nothing wrong with me!

(Zero stood up and grabbed the doctor by the collar and pulled him off his seat.)

X: But isn't that what you want? He's telling you you're not going to die.

Doctor: Yes, you're fine.

Zero: I'm fine? What are you coming on to me now?

X: No, he's saying that you're not sick!

(Zero looked around and slowly set the doctor back down onto his chair. They got out of there and went back to the base to tell everybody the good news.)

Zero: Hey everybody! (Everybody turned to him, still feeling bad about him going to die.) Come on, this is the part where you're supposed to say, hi Zero.

X: Go ahead guys, I mean, it's not like he's dying. (Everybody was confused.) Yup that's right, he's not gonna die. It turns out, you sent us to some quack who didn't know what he was doing.

Gate: I know, I did that on purpose since it was all just a ruse.

X: But he did it for real and got Zero's report mixed up with somebody else's.

Gate: Haha, yup, that sounds like him alright.

X: Haha. (Sigh) I wonder whose papers those were who he got switched with. Boy I sure wouldn't want to be that guy right now.

(Back at the hospital...)

Doctor: I'm sorry sir, but you have considerably less than a month to live.

Vile: Oh...

(Vile, wearing a hospital gown, looked at the ground and was quiet. Back at the base...)

Zero: So I guess everything's back to normal now.

Douglas: But what about your list of all that you were going to do?

Zero: Screw that, I'm forgetting it all. I have a whole lifetime to do all the stuff now. Haha! (Zero tore up his list and threw it in the air. He was just happy and everybody couldn't blame him, after all, he wasn't going to die. They smiled as they watched him. Just then Iris walked into the room looking at the ground, she looked up to see Zero there happy.) Woohoo, Iris guess what? I just got back from the doctor. I'm not gonna die. Isn't that great? Now I can forget my list, cause I have the rest of my life to...

Iris: Zero. I just got back from the doctor too. (Zero stopped and looked at her, everybody watched quietly confused.) And, I'm pregnant....

(The room was quiet. Zero stared at her with his jaw dropped. Iris slowly looked up at Zero to see his reaction... and he fainted. Just then... Neon Tiger burst in!)

Neon Tiger: Oh hey guys I've been away on vacation so I haven't been able to check in on my Zero. (He stopped when everyone just stared at him, he looked down to see him laying on the floor.) So what did I miss?

(The torn shreds of Zero's list fell to the ground, and the first thing on his list was: let's make a baby!)