PAINE SONGFIC
Song: Nancy Sinatra- Bang Bang (My baby shot me down)
(Song taken from the KILL BILL soundtrack...)
The most elite member of the elite fighting squadron-to-be, the Crimson Squad, Nooj. A legend among the Crusaders, a hero... or so I thought. We met when I first became a recorder for Crusader training, though not many people knew it. It was only on a training mission, when he gruffly introduced himself to the new members of the team- Gippal, and Baralai- that we made up the story that we didn't know each other. He was distant at first, not allowing us to talk to him. It was difficult to even get his name out of him. As I was the recorder assigned to their team, I was with him most of the time. I noticed, as others no doubt did, that he was strong, always brave in battle, always put himself in the way of danger to help other, even if he acted cold and black-hearted towards them after the fighting was done.
Verse 1
I was five and he was six
We rode on horses made of sticks
He wore black and I wore white
He would always win the fight
But he WAS a hero, to his friends at least. I was only a couple of years younger than him... and I was definitely attracted to him. I told him one night... when we were alone together guarding the borders of the Mi'ihen Highroad (recorders had to watch whatever Crimson Squad candidates did), and I just blurted it out without thinking, I expected him to just grunt, to ignore me, but he grabbed me and kissed me passionately. That was the start of a... tempestuous relationship to say the least. The crimson squad training took six months, and Nooj and I were together for five of those months.
All that time, I was living with his constant recklessness. I always blamed him for causing me so much worry, and constantly made him out to be the bad one in the relationship, the devil to my angel. We screamed and yelled at each other, and one or other of us would threaten to walk out. Needless to say, we didn't last. A month before the final selection exercise for the Crimson Squad happened, we split up. He had hurt me so badly, and I hated him for it. He might as well have fired a gun into my heart...
Chorus 1
Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down
But, after I while, realised that... despite everything he had done... I still loved him. I told him the night before a training drill. I hoped that he could love me again, too. But... he was too wrapped up in his own concerns to care about me. He told me that I he had concerns that were more important than I or my 'stupid' feelings were. I was heartbroken. Yes, me, Paine, the now cold, uncaring woman with no emotions, heartbroken and in despair...
Then I discovered the truth. He wasn't brave, just... suicidal. I was walking through the Crusaders' camp one night, and overheard two of them talking.
"You serious?" a female voice said.
"Yeah," a male replied, "seems Nooj aint called 'Undying' for no reason."
"But he's really suicidal?" the woman asked, shocked.
"'pparently so. He calls him self 'Nooj the Undying' because he just can't seem to die the way he wants to. I heard... he's looking for a place to die."
"What in Yevon's name..." the woman whispered.
I stood stock-still, unable to believe what I was hearing. Nooj... suicidal? It didn't seem possible. But somehow, it all made sense. Whenever fiends rampaged the roads that the Crusader's patrolled, he was always the first one into the fray, always reckless in battle, jumping in front of fiends to block their path. But that recklessness had been seen as courage... and that courage had almost cost him his life at times. Now... I finally understood why.
I had a chance to confront him about it a few days later. I had to do it in front of the other guys, but I thought they had a right to know. Once again, Nooj stepped out in front of a powerful fiend. Ordinarily, recorders weren't supposed to interfere with battles, unless there was a threat to their person. I was sure that the guys could have escaped on their own... but I wasn't so sure that Nooj wanted to. My feelings were still there for him, and I couldn't just let him die.
I threw a blizzara spell at the fiend and killed it. Nooj spun round, glaring at me with fiery, angry eyes.
"How dare you!" he growled at me. I shrank back slightly, afraid of his strength.
"Nooj," I replied, "rumour has it... that you're looking for a place to die."
He merely grunted in reply. I continued:
"You were ready to give up back there- ready to die?"
Gippal suddenly turned, a horrified look on his face.
"You serious?" he asked.
"It's harder than it sounds," Nooj muttered as he started to walk off.
"Na'c caneuic," Gippal whispered to Baralai, who was also staring with bewildered eyes at 'The Undying' Nooj.
"Why?" Baralai asked.
"It's my life to throw away," was all he said, then he started to walk back to camp.
"Hey!" Gippal shouted after him, but he was already gone.
Verse 2
Seasons came and changed the time
When I grew up I called him mine
He would always laugh and say
Remember when we used to play
Chorus 2
Bang bang, I shot you down
Bang bang, you hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, I used to shoot you down
When we were alone, he would make cruel jokes to me after that day, about how he used to always win the arguments that we had, that I was too afraid to say what I really wanted to for fear of losing him. I tried to ignore him, but I knew he was right. The only way I could back at him was to join in with the jokes that Gippal and Baralai made about him being a 'Deathseeker.' I knew it was wrong... but how else could I escape the memories of falling to the floor of the tent we had shared, crying and beating the ground with my fists? It was my only weapon against cursed memories. I only pretended to be friends with him because the guys still liked him. I couldn't ask them to choose between myself and Nooj. It simply wasn't fair, so I just acted casual around Nooj, and didn't let things get uncomfortable.
Verse 3
Music played and people sang
Just for me the church bells rang
I also devoted my time to the temple, thinking in desperation that praying to Yevon would heal my soul of the wounds inflicted on me by Nooj. So many nightmarish bullets fired from a single man-shaped gun... I could find no other solution than Yevon. It was my only hope, my only chance at escape.
Verse 4
Now he's gone I dont know why
Until this day, sometimes I cry
He didn't even say goodbye
He didn't take the time to lie
And then EVERYTHING fell apart. The Crimson Squad was destroyed... and my friends barely escaped from the training exercise with their lives. I followed them after they were shot at by the warrior monks under the command of Maester Kinoc. It was then that I realised that I had been betrayed completely... my Nooj, by the Crusaders... and by Yevon itself. Why had this happened? As I chased after the guys, I had to run through the aftermath of Operation Mi'ihen... I was so scared, terrified that the bodies might belong to either Gippal or Baralai... I didn't even want to find Nooj's body there, no matter how much I hated him.
I eventually found them in front of the Travel Agency on the Mi'ihen Highroad. They watched in amazement as they walked up to me, though they looked miserable, blood stained and tired after their ordeal in the cave in the Mushroom Rock Road.
"Why did you follow us?" Baralai asked.
"I want to know... what is was you saw in there," I replied. My spherecorder was still on, as I wanted to record everything they said.
"Problem is, we don't know," Gippal piped up as he did a back flip to stand up.
"One of these days, we'll find out. Then we'll tell you," Baralai said.
"Well, the Maester isn't going to be happy when he finds out we're still alive," Nooj interjected.
"Yeah, maybe we'd better split up," Gippal replied.
"Your works done," Nooj said to me suddenly, "why are you still recording?" he walked towards me and turned the recorder down. I gasped as he accidentally touched my face. His skin felt... colder... than usual. It was strange, as if it was alien to me, something OTHER than Nooj.
After talking for a while, the guys decided to go in two different directions, so that it would not be so easy for them to be followed. I had the spherecorder on again, to record the last moments that we would all be together. I had to go somewhere else as well, away from my friends... I was miserable at the thought of being alone, and I decided that I HAD to keep at least this small memento.
As sunset drew to a close, Nooj walked away from Gippal and Baralai, in the direction of Luca. I began to turn, to follow the other two. Suddenly a gunshot rattled the air as Baralai fell to the ground, a bleeding hole in his back, Gippal spun round, only to shot as well, a silver bullet embedding itself in his stomach. I turned in the direction of the shots, to find, to my horror... Nooj! Standing there with a gun pointing at my friends.
"Nooj, NO!" I whispered in fright. His only response... was to point his gun at me, and to bury a bullet in my chest.
I don't clearly remember what happened after that. I only remember seeing blurred figures standing above me, and turning my head, seeing that the Gippal and Baralai were no longer there, and trying to scream, but unable to, the bleeding in my chest was so profuse. I was in agony, hating, loving, needing Nooj... but knowing that it was HE who had tried to kill me... he could have succeeded... my blood was pouring fast and thick from the wound... I didn't think I was going to live.
I remember my head swimming, someone pouring a healing potion directly into my wound... and then I passed out.
Chorus 3
Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby... shot me down