These days Hana felt different. Oh, she was still the same old geek as ever, but inside, she felt like she was...changing. The funniest thing that had happened lately to her that sparked off tongue-wagging for days on end and was a topic of interest still among her schoolmates was that Hana and Emily had lately become very pal-ish.
"Aye, Hana," Emily would call out to her as she walked outside the school building after school, leaning against one wall or another (smoking, more often than not). What was even more amusing to Hana was that she'd found out that Emily was Irish. She could switch accents faster than lightning, and Hana didn't bother trying to bottle her laughter whenever Emily (in all her Goth get-up) first put on the accent of her Motherland for the sake of amusement.
"Aye, ye cannae guess woots under me kilt!"
"If I'm Goth, you're Hippie," Emily had said to her once. Apparently, Emily refused to believe the possibility that she looked like a Goth.
"It's just what I like to wear, black," she'd shrugged.
"Hippie??" Hana had exclaimed in surprise.
Emily gave her a look that said, What. You didn't know?
"Look at you, always in baggy pants and tie-dyed shirts. If you'd only let down your long hair and wear big John Lennon glasses you'd be the perfect classic hippie," Emily punctuated her point by dragging on her cigarette.
Hana wrinkled her nose and tried not to breathe as Emily let out a stream of smoke from her 'O'-shaped lips. Emily noticed this.
"I know. They're bad. But damn, I'm addicted to 'em!" she laughed madly. Hana held her tongue. In her mind, she was already planning on a health-routine for Emily, starting with packing an extra dolphin-safe tuna sandwich for her every morning.
It didn't bother her so much, but Hana wondered what the pair of them might look like to other people. A geek/hippie/clean-girl standing around and talking to a Goth--okay, black-dressing smoker/biker-girl. It was intriguing just thinking about it, and it must've looked intriguing too because everyone passing them by gave them first, then second glances.
"Look at those pathetic robots, staring at us. They're so used to stereotyping and judging other people that they think we look an odd pair. Feel like giving them something real to talk about," Emily drawled as she stared back at everyone else, the mask of contempt back on her face.
That was all it was, really. A mask. As far as Hana knew, Emily wasn't really like that. Well, she could be cynical and rather sadistic sometimes, but so could everyone else.
"The thing is, Hana," Emily continued after taking another drag on her cigarette, "it's exactly like that old hippie belief: we are all Human. But regular humans don't think that way. So what the hell. Best don't bother trying to fit in anyway then, right?"
Hana laughed inwardly at the thought of trying to fit in. She thought about Emily's words. They were true; even Hana was guilty of stereotyping sometimes. Thinking that Emily was Goth when she'd first met her was stereotyping, wasn't it?
"Am I a regular human, you think?" Hana asked. Emily's cigarette-hand froze halfway on its journey to her lips. She turned her head to look at Hana and stared at her.
After what seemed like eternity, she finally said, "You, are most definitely not a regular human, or you wouldn't be here talking to me". Then all of a sudden, as if she hadn't stopped at all, she brought the cigarette to her lips and took a long deep drag on it. She sighed and smiled with satisfaction.
Hana still stayed back in the auditorium after school to listen to Ephram play, but his visits were getting less and less frequent. At most, he would play one song, and then go off. She didn't let him know she was there, though. She was afraid he wouldn't feel comfortable playing anymore if he knew.
She hoped the reason for his increasingly infrequent visits wasn't because she'd chased him away or scared him off by popping out of nowhere the other time. After all, she knew the auditorium was meant to be his Secret Hiding Place.
She had wanted to talk to him again so many times after he'd walked her home, but so far all of their exchanges since that day were hellos or byes. It was frustrating. Maybe next time she'd say "Adieu" instead, just for the heck of it. Maybe not.
Hana wished she could be more like Emily. Emily was her exact opposite. She was daring, she was dangerous and she didn't give two hoots who thought what about her. Hana wanted a little bit of that, if not all.
Emily was who she hung out with now, when Ephram couldn't be found. Mostly they'd just sit around and talk. Hana found Emily's stories fascinating; stories of her escapades with the Motorcycle Gang and how her older brothers had gotten her hooked into such things because they were members themselves. Emily told her that she'd hated to be left out of all her brothers' mischief when she was younger. Things hadn't changed.
Somehow though, Hana couldn't bring herself to tell anyone about Ephram, not even Emily, although Hana knew she wouldn't tell anyone (anyone that mattered to Hana, at least).
And so for the longest time, it would remain her secret.