A/N – Much thanks to Nessa for her beta work on this. Thank you for all of your reviews – I'm glad that so many are enjoying this

Alex's fingers alternated between long strokes and slow circles. Judging from the gentle grunts of pleasure coming from the woman lying on the bed in front of him, his efforts were appreciated. Knowing her preference to strong and hard than that of soft and gentle, his fingers dug deeper into the arch of her foot.

It surprisingly took a lot of persuasion to get her to let him do this. Her quiet spells and moments of distraction did not go unnoticed, and he wondered how much of it was honestly due to her poor vacationing skills. This time alone wasn't having the effect that he'd hoped it would. With only two days left until they returned to work, he was beginning to feel as though he'd failed her somehow.

Looking at her now, body stretched before him, he could sense that her mind was again elsewhere. "You're quiet."

Sara raised herself on her elbows and offered a tired smile. "I'm focusing on the wonderful pampering my foot is receiving."

"You were quiet before now. You're tired, babe – you should have taken a nap with me."

"I was too restless for a nap, " she said with a shrug.

"I missed you, though," he said, placing a kiss to her big toe before dropping her foot onto his lap. Lifting up her left foot and repeating the process he continued, "So, we head back in the morning and we'll still have a day before we have to go back to work. What do you say we head to my place and –"

"I actually should do some laundry. My dirty clothes basket was overflowing before I left."

Sara's hesitation unnerved him. "Then we can go your place. I'll help you with your laundry and then we can wind down, watch a movie, sleep. What do you think?"

He continued massaging her foot as she took his proposal under consideration. "I think that my vote is for us doing laundry and then we sleep. We need to get back on to our night schedule."

"Ever so practical."

"Hmm."

Paying extra attention to her toes, Alex weighed the risks of bringing up what was bothering her. He hated that fact that he was afraid of what she would say, but the past few days had sent his confidence packing.

The intimacy that they shared so effortlessly was now plagued with discomfort and distance. He didn't expect to make love to her twenty-four hours a day, but his visions of this trip did include nights of untamed lust and mornings of lazy passion. The few times that she let him touch her, he was lucky she even looked him in the eye.

Realizing that ignoring the issue would not make it disappear, he decided to try bringing it to light again.

"Something has been on your mind since we left Vegas. I wish you would tell me what it is."

"I told you, I just needed to –"

"Decompress. Yes, I know. The thing is, babe, it doesn't seem like you have."

"I'm sorry, " she replied. The regret reflected in her eyes was genuine.

"Don't be sorry, just … talk to me about it."

Watching her contemplate her words, Alex was suddenly struck with his own regret over starting this conversation. Even though his fingers were trying to bury themselves into her skin, the distance between them was widening with every passing second.

Reaching into the back of his mind, he tried to recall his sister's reflexology chart. At the time, he thought of it as a load of crap. Still, he helped his sister study for her exam. Even though reflexology is considered a source of healing, he rubbed the spot just below Sara's last two toes, trying to take comfort with the fact he had a connection with her heart. Though when she spoke, that comfort vanished.

"What exactly do you want from our relationship? What do you want for us?" she asked, tentatively.

"Well, I want you … in my life, in my arms, in my bed. I know I already have that – I just … more of it. I would like to have all of those things forever and I was hoping that this trip would be a step forward in that direction."

"I know."

"I'm also hoping that you want that too."

"I … when we first made plans for this trip, that was what I wanted."

"And now?" he asked, as he averted his eyes - he felt like a coward.

"I want to want it, Alex."

"But you don't."

"I don't know what I want."

He started to feel the familiar burning in his ears. He was angry with himself for ignoring the warnings and angry with her for letting the man, who had done nothing but hurt her, back into her thoughts. There was no doubt in his mind what this was about.

"This has to do with Grissom."

"Yes," Sara replied, knowing that it wasn't really a question.

Alex dropped her foot down on the bed, got up and started pacing. "Damn it, Sara!"

"Alex –" her attempt at calming him down was cut off by his incensed glare.

"No. I asked you – I asked you if this was going to be an issue and you said no. I don't understand. Everything that you have told me about this guy … you said that he hurt you - that you felt humiliated. He has no respect for you or for our relationship. Why are you letting the man that tore you up, tear us up as well?"

Sara pulled her legs in and sat up. The sorrow on her face and the lack of response infuriated him even more. "It's not a rhetorical question, Sara!"

"I'm sorry, but I don't have an answer."

"Sorry? You told me that you had moved on from him before we had even started dating - I don't understand the hold that this man has on you."

"That makes two of us," she whispered.

Alex, defeated, dropped down to the floor and leaned his back up against the side of the bed. It wasn't cowardice that kept him from looking at her this time – it was pain.

"So, what now, Sara? What does this mean?"

"I think it means that when we get home, you should just drop me off. I need some time and space to think things through, " she replied, her tone apologetic.

"You mean to decide between the two men pining for you." He winced at the sarcasm that came with that statement but couldn't bring himself to apologize.

"I didn't ask for this, Alex, but I can't ignore it either – I've tried."

With renewed anger, he got up from his position on the floor and made his way to the closet for their cases. Bringing them out, he began tossing their belongings in.

"What are you doing?"

"Packing. Get your stuff together - we're leaving tonight. I can't be here, Sara. This place was supposed to be … not what it's becoming."

He stopped, the need to get away from her was overwhelming. "I'm going to inform the desk that we are leaving. Can you be ready shortly?"

He left the room before he heard her reply.

The drive back to Vegas was the same as leaving it – silent. He could feel his hands begin to go numb from squeezing the steering wheel. A four-hour drive back home with the woman he loved next to him. He should feel better than this.

Arriving at her apartment, he helped her take her belongings up to her door. Looking at her eyes for the first time since they left, he was surprised to see that she had been crying. He definitely should feel better than this.

"I, uh, don't what to say here but that I'm sorry," she said. "I'll call you in a couple of days."

When she began to shut her door, Alex realized that he couldn't leave things as they were. "Sara, wait."

He brought his hand up to her face and continued, "I'm not going to give you up willingly. Doing that would be unacceptable but I - I don't want to be your second choice either. You need to get this figured out because there is no room in this relationship for … whatever the fuck this is you have with Grissom. I love you and I'm not going to share you."

His thumb swiped the tear that made its way down Sara's cheek, sadly recognizing the fact that she had never responded in kind.

"I've gotta get out of here," he said to himself, as he rushed to his car, knowing he left something behind – his heart.

TBC …